Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

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  • 12
    Banned
    • Feb 2010
    • 4458

    #46
    Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

    Area 2:



    I am 70/30 in favor of Area 2 right now...

    I could probably transfer easily and have already sent out some feelers about that. Most of the guys I work with tell me I should do it in a heartbeat, as the experience I will pick up at this other facility will be invaluable.

    Seems like a slam dunk... It's such an enormous decision... Easily one of the biggest decisions I've made, especially considering I have a family now.

    I can go for it right now, which would mean getting my application in within two days. Or, I could wait it out a bit and shoot for a transfer date of sometime next summer. I know my wife is 100 percent in favor of moving to her hometown, and I am getting closer.

    It's just that leaving your comfort zone and heading into the unknown is both exciting and nerve wracking as hell, all at the same time.

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    • The GIGGAS
      Timbers - Jags - Hokies
      • Mar 2003
      • 28474

      #47
      Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

      Originally posted by 12
      It's just that leaving your comfort zone and heading into the unknown is both exciting and nerve wracking as hell, all at the same time.
      Absolutely understood. But at the same time, if it's the best choice for you and your family, you gotta jump into the water and hope for the best.

      That's why I'm an Oregonian and not a Virginian right now.
      Rose City 'Til I Die
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      • Fresh Tendrils
        Strike Hard and Fade Away
        • Jul 2002
        • 36131

        #48
        Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

        Is that an actual picture of where you would move to? Looks like heaven there.



        Comment

        • Lieutenant Dan
          All Star
          • Sep 2007
          • 5679

          #49
          Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

          Originally posted by 12
          Area 2:



          I am 70/30 in favor of Area 2 right now...

          I could probably transfer easily and have already sent out some feelers about that. Most of the guys I work with tell me I should do it in a heartbeat, as the experience I will pick up at this other facility will be invaluable.

          Seems like a slam dunk... It's such an enormous decision... Easily one of the biggest decisions I've made, especially considering I have a family now.

          I can go for it right now, which would mean getting my application in within two days. Or, I could wait it out a bit and shoot for a transfer date of sometime next summer. I know my wife is 100 percent in favor of moving to her hometown, and I am getting closer.

          It's just that leaving your comfort zone and heading into the unknown is both exciting and nerve wracking as hell, all at the same time.
          I'm pretty in touch with that feeling. In 2003, I made the decision to leave Washington, the state I love with all my heart, to move over 2k miles east and south to Memphis to be with my now wife.

          I drove the whole way, and when I saw Memphis, I immediately felt a surge of homesickness and missing my friends and co-workers...even remembering my best friend joking that I'd have to become a Titans fan (yeah, no..Seahawks till I die no matter WHERE I am).

          It was a tough change at first for several weeks, but my wife made it all worth while. I eventually caught on to a great job too that has helped us a lot through the years.

          Now, with the kids all grown we plan on moving back to Seattle/Puget Sound area within the next year or two. She has fallen in love with the region, and she's a West Coaster anyway, born in Hawaii and lived in NorCal for a long time.

          You however are remaining in-state and I'm guessing no real radical culture changes or climate changes, yeah? Plus you seem excited about where you'd be going, and your wife will be happy.

          Unless you can justify some good reasons for waiting, seems like a 'go for it!' is in order, here!

          A big move is always scary; that's a key element in any grand adventure
          GO 'HAWKS!

          OS Dibs: Anna Kendrick

          Elite Dangerous on One X has become my life.

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          • 12
            Banned
            • Feb 2010
            • 4458

            #50
            Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

            Originally posted by Fresh Tendrils
            Is that an actual picture of where you would move to? Looks like heaven there.
            That picture is about 10 minutes away, but the house we would live in sits right in an area that is nearly identical to that.

            I've never been to Ireland, but I've seen pictures... And the place almost reminds me of Ireland.

            Comment

            • Fresh Tendrils
              Strike Hard and Fade Away
              • Jul 2002
              • 36131

              #51
              Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

              Lucky. I'm sure it would be awesome to hike to the top of one of those hills and have a nice lunch on the weekends.



              Comment

              • 12
                Banned
                • Feb 2010
                • 4458

                #52
                Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

                Originally posted by Lieutenant Dan
                I'm pretty in touch with that feeling. In 2003, I made the decision to leave Washington, the state I love with all my heart, to move over 2k miles east and south to Memphis to be with my now wife.

                I drove the whole way, and when I saw Memphis, I immediately felt a surge of homesickness and missing my friends and co-workers...even remembering my best friend joking that I'd have to become a Titans fan (yeah, no..Seahawks till I die no matter WHERE I am).

                It was a tough change at first for several weeks, but my wife made it all worth while. I eventually caught on to a great job too that has helped us a lot through the years.

                Now, with the kids all grown we plan on moving back to Seattle/Puget Sound area within the next year or two. She has fallen in love with the region, and she's a West Coaster anyway, born in Hawaii and lived in NorCal for a long time.

                You however are remaining in-state and I'm guessing no real radical culture changes or climate changes, yeah? Plus you seem excited about where you'd be going, and your wife will be happy.

                Unless you can justify some good reasons for waiting, seems like a 'go for it!' is in order, here!

                A big move is always scary; that's a key element in any grand adventure
                Great advice... Thanks again, Dan.

                I am going to try and get more specific. I work in a prison as a Sergeant. It's an acting position, but I have a great opportunity to permanently promote in the facility I am in now or the facility I would transfer to.

                The facility I work at now is the biggest in the state. It's the newest prison in the state, and there's some problems with management trying to foster a new, "kinder, gentler corrections" and it is one that will eventually get someone hurt very badly. It has always been like this, but it will take something bad to happen to cause change. I am considered very young and well liked there, and would be earmarked for promotional opportunities in the future. I have a ton of friends there.

                The facility I'd be transferring to has been around forever and it's where the real bad guys are. We're talking the highest profile criminals in the state. There are more fights, more staff assaults, and it is much more fast paced. It sounds dangerous, and it is. Every prison is. But the major positive of this facility is management still runs it like a prison; a place where these guys will never want to come back to, and the brotherhood here among staff is legendary. Another challenge would be going there as a young Sergeant, where I would supervise officers that have been around for 20 or 30 years. It would be a challenge, but then again, it would be incredible on my resume. I know I would fit in there once the staff got to know me, and I would learn quick... I'd have to. The promotional opportunities would be there as well, as all the old timers have "been there, done that."

                Sounds extreme, but prisons are dangerous places. The facility I am in now has some issues but overall, it is a good place to work. The facility I would transfer to would grow me up real quick.

                Comment

                • 12
                  Banned
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 4458

                  #53
                  Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

                  I am convinced of the part where I want to move there because it's my wife's dream.

                  Now, in my head, I have to level it out as far as my career goes. That's where I am. Once that happens, I feel like I will be at my decision.

                  Hope that makes sense.

                  Comment

                  • mgoblue
                    Go Wings!
                    • Jul 2002
                    • 25477

                    #54
                    Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

                    Originally posted by 12
                    I am convinced of the part where I want to move there because it's my wife's dream.

                    Now, in my head, I have to level it out as far as my career goes. That's where I am. Once that happens, I feel like I will be at my decision.

                    Hope that makes sense.
                    Get yourself happy with the job change/transfer. Don't want to move if you're all pissed at the wife for making you have a job you hate. Yes, work is always work, but you need to enjoy your job as well.

                    Sounds like you'll like it, just need some time to let this all settle.

                    I remember when I decided to move to Arizona from Michigan, it was kinda crazy in my head. Takes a bit to wrap your mind around such a big change.
                    Last edited by mgoblue; 10-05-2012, 12:12 PM.
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                    Comment

                    • Lieutenant Dan
                      All Star
                      • Sep 2007
                      • 5679

                      #55
                      Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

                      Originally posted by 12
                      I am convinced of the part where I want to move there because it's my wife's dream.

                      Now, in my head, I have to level it out as far as my career goes. That's where I am. Once that happens, I feel like I will be at my decision.

                      Hope that makes sense.
                      Read you loud and clear.

                      Truthfully, leaving my 'family' at work (was there for 12 years) was incredibly hard. They were supportive, but my last day there was a lot of emotions going on. It's been nine years and I'm still in contact with my closest friends from there.

                      My biggest fear was finding a good job in TN. You don't have that to worry about! Your place is assured.

                      Deciding if the challenges of the new job will be worthwhile is only a call you can make. But you also have to take into consideration the life balance, too, of home and work.

                      Sounds like work will be more challenging; certainly you'll have to be even more frosty than normal, but you'll likely acclimate to that and you said there's a great brotherhood there. Plus you can still maintain contact with your closest buddies from the old place, like I do.

                      At home, you like the area you'll be living in. Wife will be happier, which may help counter work being a little more 'salty'. LOL. A picnic up on one of those hills sounds great. And some solitude on the days when work might take a little more out of you.

                      Like I said, only you can make the call. Just some things to consider
                      Last edited by Lieutenant Dan; 10-05-2012, 12:36 PM.
                      GO 'HAWKS!

                      OS Dibs: Anna Kendrick

                      Elite Dangerous on One X has become my life.

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                      "Best of Both Worlds"

                      Comment

                      • bkrich83
                        Has Been
                        • Jul 2002
                        • 71582

                        #56
                        Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

                        From a kids perspective I can only offer a little advice. My parents divorced when I was young. I spent some time living with my father in both the L.A. and San Diego area and most of my High School years (other than summers) living with my mother in a small rural area along the central coast of California.

                        I won't go in to the athletics stuff, the small town did allow me to play 3 sport through HS, and while I was one of the better players in the county in both baseball and football, my opportunities to play in college were very limited, due to such little exposure and the small school stigma. (Hence I had to play a year at Juco to get a scholarship to play football). All in all I would say my HS existence in the small town was very good.

                        That being said, I got in to a lot more trouble when I was in the small town than when I spent time in a metropolitan area. Quite simply there's not as much to do, and you know what they say about idle time and teenagers. The notion that kids will stay out of trouble, or it's safer growing up in small towns is false. I saw more kids burn out and more drugs and drug usage in small town America than I ever did in SD or LA. Good parenting is the key here not where you live.
                        Tracking my NCAA Coach Career

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                        • Guru03
                          Rookie
                          • Feb 2012
                          • 432

                          #57
                          Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

                          Option 2 definitely.
                          - Arizona Cardinals (Eternal Punishment)

                          - Clemson

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                          • mb625
                            DJ2K
                            • Jan 2012
                            • 5016

                            #58
                            Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

                            I grew up in the country, outside of a town kind of like #2, and I absolutely loved living there. When I was younger, I wanted to be anywhere but a small town, but now... I don't really think so anymore. Having been to Philadelphia, Chicago, Denver and NYC, and experiencing the opposite of what I grew up with,(including suburban Philly and Denver and currently living in Cedar Falls (which is about 30,000-ish)) I can't imagine living anywhere but a small town. Just to kind of give that perspective... if it helps at all.
                            MLB: Minnesota Twins
                            NFL: Philadelphia Eagles
                            NBA: Chicago Bulls, Minnesota Timberwolves
                            European Football: Manchester United, Brighton & Hove Albion
                            NCAA: UNI Panthers, Iowa Hawkeyes

                            Twitter: @mbless625

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                            • 12
                              Banned
                              • Feb 2010
                              • 4458

                              #59
                              Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

                              I've decided for the time being, Area #2 is not an option. Her dad is not solid on anything so I am unwilling to leave a good thing where I'm at now. It's just not worth it. I feel terrible for my wife, but she understands where I'm coming from.

                              Maybe it will be an option in the future.

                              Comment

                              • bkrich83
                                Has Been
                                • Jul 2002
                                • 71582

                                #60
                                Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

                                Originally posted by 12
                                I've decided for the time being, Area #2 is not an option. Her dad is not solid on anything so I am unwilling to leave a good thing where I'm at now. It's just not worth it. I feel terrible for my wife, but she understands where I'm coming from.

                                Maybe it will be an option in the future.
                                Probably a smart decision. Plus you don't want to give him the ability to hang that over your head anyway.

                                Bummer for your wife, and probably you as well, but imo, it's the smart move
                                Tracking my NCAA Coach Career

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