Off Topic 2013

[Chrisksaint]

Re: Off Topic 2013

I want everyone to remember who I am before I make the rest of this post.

HARRY POTTER IS BACK?!?!

[Husker_OS]

Re: Off Topic 2013

I apologize in advance for this post.

As you all probably know, I got engaged in March. Been with her for 2 years and we set a date for May 3rd, 2014. There's been a lot going on in our lives recently and we hit a rough patch. Everything bubbled over on Friday night we had a huge fight. At the end of the conversation she said she needs to think some things over and we'll talk Saturday.

She comes over to my place and we shoot the **** for a minute then we get into what's been going on lately. She brought up all the issues she has with our relationship and that she's been thinking lately about what our future would be like. She says that she thinks a marriage between us would be an unhappy one and she doesn't want that for us. Apparently she had been unhappy for weeks now and can't take anymore of the weekly fighting and arguing. I asked her if she would be willing to try and work through the issues but she didn't want to. At this point, I realize we're about to end things.

I agreed that I wouldn't want to be with someone for the rest of my life that had so many doubts about us. She's not as in love with me anymore and I've got accept that no matter how much I love her, that's not how I want my marriage to be.

So the engagement has been called off and she gave the ring back to me. The pain from this is something I've felt before, but never to this degree. We had our entire lives planned out. I had my 5 year plan set and I was just counting down until June 2014 when we moved away to begin our new life together.

But it's all over. This fall is pivotal in how my life is going to go. I had plans to go back to school in January of 2015 once we had settled in wherever we moved. I had plans to quit my current job next May and my new career path was on track. I have to pick up the pieces this fall and start figuring out how to get students loans so I can be back in school fall of 2014.

Hopefully I meet someone this fall and I can move on from this relationship sooner rather than later.

[Jasong7777]

Re: Off Topic 2013

Sorry to hear that Husker. Better to end it now than go though with the wedding and all. You seem like a good guy with a nice future. You'll find someone else.

[Beantown]

Damn Husker...I'm real sorry. Going through a similar thing myself, minus the engaged part, so I feel you. I'm constantly trying to remind myself of all the problems we had and as much as I think I want to get back with her, I don't think it's her so much as the fact the past two years of my life have been with someone.

It'll pass, as you said it always does, but damn if it doesn't suck in the meantime.

Let me know if you need anything, man.

[Husker_OS]

Re: Off Topic 2013

Damn Husker...I'm real sorry. Going through a similar thing myself, minus the engaged part, so I feel you. I'm constantly trying to remind myself of all the problems we had and as much as I think I want to get back with her, I don't think it's her so much as the fact the past two years of my life have been with someone.

It'll pass, as you said it always does, but damn if it doesn't suck in the meantime.

Let me know if you need anything, man.

Yeah I have to think about the problems to convince myself this is for the best. We rarely avoided arguments when we got drunk after the first 5-6 months we were together. It ruined so many social events for us because we argued on the way home so often. It's like once we got comfortable enough in the relationship, we didn't mesh well enough of the time to be happy overall. Things were said a lot that just shouldn't have been said.

When you get comfortable enough to drop a deuce while they're in the apartment, you find out what's really there between you. Arguments happen, but we got in them way too often. Our personalities conflicted too much.

[Beantown]

Sounds all too familiar to me, man, way too familiar. Word for word. Crazy.

[Paul Pierce_OS]

Re: Off Topic 2013

I don't know why I find this guys YT channel so entertaining, it's so wasteful and pointless but....


<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/qOxQO5vYfDA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Watson]

Re: Off Topic 2013

Sorry to hear it, Alex. I think it'd be best if you just don't even try and think about girls during the fall and just focus on what you have planned out and football.

[TripleCrown9]

Re: Off Topic 2013

Yeah, Husker, I went through the exact same thing. We usually don't see eye to eye, but I'm here if you need anything also.

[Husker_OS]

Re: Off Topic 2013

Thanks guys. It's just so surreal right now. When you get to the point we did in the relationship, its really difficult to imagine the road ahead without them. I moved up here last year to eliminate the distance in our relationship so it's pretty sh***y that I'm now up here and not with her before my first lease has even ended(it technically ends in 2 weeks). But I'm in my new place and tied into a 13-month lease that ends on July 9th. I don't want to sign another lease in this state once this one ends.

[Bmore Irish]

Sorry to hear that man. I know that's tough. I went through a somewhat similar situation. We weren't engaged, but had been together for four years, had been living together at college, essentially were planning on spending our lives together, except things had been going down hill and it was like being on a speeding train that was bound to go off the tracks.

Things ended badly and it got messy. Life became kinda fractured, but it ended up being a blessing in disguise because I was able to move on easier in the end.

Best thing you can do for now is cut ties and not hang on to hope if you believe this is really over. Don't rush into anything new either. Sometimes when you're just having fun and not thinking about things like that is when you happen upon someone who could change your life. You may not even realize it at first, but that's the beauty of just taking it easy.

Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk 2

[ImTellinTim]

Re: Off Topic 2013

Keep your head up, Husker. Also, no need to force the issue of getting in a relationship by this fall. If you put a time limit on it, you'll just find yourself in this same situation down the road.

[slickdtc]

Aw man, sorry to hear that news. Been through a similar-ish thing, engaged and broken up. We fixed our problems and our relationship has thrived since but I can remember the pain in the meantime. It rocked my world... It's tough when you invest your life into another and then suddenly it's over. Picking up the pieces is a good way of putting it.

You know where you can vent man.

[Feared]

Re: Off Topic 2013

For Husker I would say use this as a time to focus on inner self development, focus on finishing school, developing a career path, and finding a permanent place to settle into instead of rushing to get back into another relationship by a certain time. Love will find its way back into your life even if you're not actively seeking it.

Also maybe do some self reflection and just strive to be the best version of you that you can be every day. Not trying to imply that you were at fault for anything, for all I know she was the main instigator in all these arguments but maybe try to take a more pragmatic, and diplomatic approach toward solving problems that come up in your next relationship. Like instead of putting her down, or raising your voice when she starts to get flustered try to think about the root cause of the argument maybe sometimes you just have to compromise on certain things, or just hold the tongue back and let her have her space to cool off... instead of blowing up at each other and then relying on the mantra of kiss and make up later.

Stray strong, this is tough right now but you will be able to bounce back strong from this.

[TripleCrown9]

Re: Off Topic 2013

I work with a guy that played JUCO ball with Zach Mettenberger.

The stories I heard...