Yet another relationship thread...

[Graphik]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

QFT!

And being friends with an Ex is about as easy as having a 3 some with your wife and her hot younger sister.

LMAO! I usually become friends with ex's after some time but I know this one is different since we spent nearly 6 years together. She needs to understand there needs to be some distance so we can both go on with our lives. Lingering around through mutual friends wont help unless she's intentionally trying to stay in the picture.

[willIam9387]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

She definitely seems to be seeking your attention and she herself probably is not content with the fact you broke up with her. I wouldn't worry about her telling your secrets and what not to your friends wife because your friends wife should be able to see that she is only getting close to her out of spite and not seeking a genuine friendship. And your friend if he truly is your friend wouldn't judge you based off a rumor he heard about you from a spiteful ex girlfriend.

I'd take all this as a compliment and it's kind of a weird way to show your ex gf still has feelings for you. I'm not going to advise you to talk to her or not talk to as that's ultimately up to you, but I will say that when I normally start conversing again with an ex it ends in a fight or what not.

[IlliniM1ke]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

I'd suggest cutting off all contact to her, if you want to move on and she is doing this for attention (which it does seem like, why else call and tell you what gym she joined).

First things first take her off your FB friends, if you can't see who she is hanging out with and if she is really only doing it to get under your skin then she will cut it out a lot faster when she finds out you don't know about it.

Next I'd block her number, you're trying to move on so you don't need her calling to inform you about new gym memberships or any aspects of her life for that matter, if you don't want to block her at least don't answer her phone calls or reply to texts.

If she wants attention she's going to keep it up as long as she's getting a reaction from you and so far she is 2 for 2 in getting a reaction out of you.

[shugknight]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

It really does feels like she's doing most of this to get my attention and its been working thus far.

Side note: bumping into her is definitely inevitable since she works at the Starbucks located basically in the basement of my office building. I just thought about how F'ed up a position I'm in to get over somebody when they're basically right under your nose at all times.

Maaaannn, how in the hell do I get into these situations. Lmao

See, this is where it can get good.. You bring with you a hot co-worker, offer to buy her coffee, so she's willing to come with, and then just make her laugh, while your ex is making your drinks.

Your ex will get so pissed, and you can enjoy some eye candy while drinking coffee.

And I also think she still has feelings for you. She probably thinks that because you've broken up so many times in the past, only to get back together a month or 2 later, that it's the same situation you're in now.

Another good reason to bring a hot girl with you so it looks like you've moved on.

[DaveDQ]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

I guarantee she joined that gym because of you. She will probably put herself in your path every chance she gets too. It is very hard to "move on." Think about what you two shared together. Maybe at its end you felt it was time and it should end, but at some point there was fun, happiness, love etc. But it's hard to just go your own way. There will be jealousy, anger and envy. Jealousy often shows itself in an inability to let go or often forces a sense of ownership. Her joining that gym is probably a sign that she is struggling with the end. that's only natural and for you the best thing to do is to be kind and respectful (unless she is greeting you at the door when you get home from work with a mental-like smile)

I think the difficulty you are both facing is because there was meaning and substance to the relationship you had and now it is over. It is a very difficult thing.

Think about the years ahead, how you will one day find someone new and she does the same. You will always share and remember the intimacy you had. Relationships are tough and offer all kinds of different dynamics. I say the best thing to do is always try your best to be patient and respectful.

[ScoobySnax]

I have dealt with a very tough breakup and all advice in this thread has been great. All that's left now is for THM to come through and cap it all off. Lol.

[wwharton]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

Could be right but the thing is, I have moved on. Why she is still within arms reach is beyond me. I'm just afraid of the possibilities that can come from this. She knew in the end I didn't trust her and now I feel like she's only doing these things to make me jealous. If anything, I feel like she refuses to move on.

I feel you on the control. I let it be known that I'm definitely not trying to control her but if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd steer clear of her friends for the obvious reasons. Why she doesn't understand is baffling me. Its all a matter of consideration IMO. I know the world is small and she will more than likely bump into my ppl and I will to but why put yourself in a situation where these meetings will become the norm is twisted logic. Or maybe I'm just not with the times.

Sorry it took so long to respond, been a long day. I think others have said what I was trying to say a bit (shug specifically). You worrying about what she's doing at all is maintaining a form of control and not moving on. All this is easier said than done, but you've gotta acknowledge your role in it to get past it.

Doesn't really matter what you would do in her shoes bc she's not you and you can't expect her to be. Honestly, after all that time together, if she was exactly what you wanted her to be you'd still be together, lol. So yeah, she's probably doing this on purpose or that to get under your skin... or the other thing to remain at arm's reach. But none of that matters unless you let it. And the more you let it, the more she'll do it.

[Chaos81]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

I could have sworn that once you breakup with a person, you break up with everything that came along with them...including mutual friends.

Am I the only one who has never heard this before?

[Brandon13]

Am I the only one who has never heard this before?

Nope. Maybe that's not really what he meant because that seems to be an unreasonable expectation in a lot of situations.

[ScoobySnax]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

Am I the only one who has never heard this before?

I've heard of it in regards to marriage. If you divorce your wife, you divorce the in-laws too.

[NDAlum]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

It will only be a big deal if you make it one. IMO she probably is playing games to mess with you and it's working.

I'd act like IDGAF even if I did.

[the_future420]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

As others have said, you gotta completely forget about her. Dont initiate any interactions with her. On top of that, go out and knock a few new chicks off and you will be good to go.

[Graphik]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

Sorry it took so long to respond, been a long day. I think others have said what I was trying to say a bit (shug specifically). You worrying about what she's doing at all is maintaining a form of control and not moving on. All this is easier said than done, but you've gotta acknowledge your role in it to get past it.

Doesn't really matter what you would do in her shoes bc she's not you and you can't expect her to be. Honestly, after all that time together, if she was exactly what you wanted her to be you'd still be together, lol. So yeah, she's probably doing this on purpose or that to get under your skin... or the other thing to remain at arm's reach. But none of that matters unless you let it. And the more you let it, the more she'll do it.

Thanks all for the responses. Yea, my expectations sorrounding the breakup are a little to unrealistic but at the same time, its just odd to me that after so many breakups we've had, now she wants to pull these stunts. Usuaully, we dont speak for quite some time and the distance makes our next meeting more meaningful than keeping tabs on eachother.

To add a lil bit more detail to the breakup, she swears that I broke up with her to see someone else. Someone that she's met before. While I assured her this isn't the reason, all these jealousy tactics is showing me that she still believes I'm dating someone else. Hence the desire to rub every so called positive piece of info in my face. It makes me smh cause I thought she was more mature than this.

[Graphik]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

As others have said, you gotta completely forget about her. Dont initiate any interactions with her. On top of that, go out and knock a few new chicks off and you will be good to go.

I finally unfriended her on FB as that was our only last link. I probably should have been done so a while ago. Unfortunately, we have like 15 mutual friends.

[Graphik]

Re: Yet another relationship thread...

Am I the only one who has never heard this before?

Like someone else mentioned, its usually in regards to marraige but 6 years in with a person is a close to marraige as you can get without the paper.

My thing is this and I may be wrong with my logic but it just makes so much sense to me that if you were to get out of a relationship with someone, keep contact with "thier" closest friends to a minimum. I knew alot of her people to but I'm not interested in talking to them and I dont think they're interested in speaking with me. Especially if we weren't all to close to begin with. My friends wife who I mentioned earlier, they were only cordial when I bought her around. They were never txt or call buddies. Until the end where they would gossip.

Plus they are so different negative scenarios that can come out of remaining in the picture after a breakup. While some are unaviodable, others such as joining a gym where your ex will be around is something that can be and should be avoided.

Whats crazy is that the last time we spoke, which was about the gym membership, we got into an argument. Why am I still arguing with this girl man? Just made me confirm my decision even more.