How Often Should the Guy Pay?

[Jdoug312]

No real convoluted intro post, just want you guy's perspective on this. I'm debating with myself on this, but I think either you should split the bill everytime, or the guy should probably pay for the first date, and then anywhere between 50-60% of the time from then on. Unless I somehow marry Oprah.. in which case, I ain't paying for **** . I do not in anyway shape or form believe the guy should always pay, and I wouldn't date a girl who had that expectation.

What are your thoughts on this? I'm 19 for what it's worth.

[deaduck]

Re: How Often Should the Guy Pay?

Personally, I don't think trying to set a "hard" rule is the route to go.

Every situation, even every date, has a variety of factors the influence who should pay for what.

I think the key is to never feel that you are being taken advantage of...you stick to that and you can't really go wrong.

[Watson]

I'm 20. The guy always pays. There are three things a guy should do on a date:

1) Open doors (car doors do not apply IMO)
2) Refrain from cussing
3) Pay.

The only exception to the rule is your birthday, where splitting 60/40 or 70/30 or anything where the girl pays less than half is acceptable, but I pay even on my birthday.

[Chrisksaint]

Re: How Often Should the Guy Pay?

If you want to get any, or even continue the relationship I recommend paying 100% of the time

[Rockie_Fresh88]

Re: How Often Should the Guy Pay?

I'm 20 . First Dates and Casual Dates I always pay.

But my current GF likes to pay every now and then .

[Jdoug312]

Re: How Often Should the Guy Pay?

Come to think of it, I probably should've added this to my OP, but ah well, I'll leave it here.

Why did the whole thing about the man always being the one who pays come about anyway? If I'm not mistaking, it's because historically only the man worked, which meant only the man made the money, which of course meant the man paid. But that of course is no longer the case, so why didn't the trend ever fade? Many (probably most) women nowadays earn there own living, so that old rule need not apply any longer imo. And yeah I get that it's just the MANLY thing to do, but in today's society it seems gender roles are fading in favor of equality, which to me is a good thing. Hope I'm not diving into TOS with this, but I'm done with this particular point anyway. The question still stands though.

Deaduck I agree that there probably shouldn't be a hard set rule either way, but it's weird, kinda like prenubs in that you kinda have to justify/validate why you don't support the status quo lol.

[cavsfan2]

Re: How Often Should the Guy Pay?

I pay for the meal, you handle my deal

-Barney Stinson

[Bmore Irish]

Chivalry is dead lol. But seriously, I'm fresh outta college and for a while my girlfriend just had a lot more money than me, straight up. I'd pay when I could, but there was an understanding between us. Quite frankly, I've gone on first dates before and felt I needed to pay, and that's fine, but in the end it turns into a give and take. Unless you're with a gold digger in which case a) congratulations for having that much money and b) good luck.

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[Chrisksaint]

If you're in an established relationship then anything can work, but just starting out I'd feel awkward not paying. Granted I also try to pay even if I'm going with a girl who's just a friend.

[kingkilla56]

Re: How Often Should the Guy Pay?

The first time (and couple times after) you pay, when you really know her she better be putting in some in the relationship. Dont be that guy that ALWAYS pays.

If she's your girl she better not be that stingy that she never chips in.

[PVarck31]

During courtship always pay. Good luck landing her if you don't. After it's established then it's fair game.

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[ubernoob]

You guys are all so silly.

It doesn't matter in a relationship how much someone pays. Oh, sure, if it's early in the relationship (first couple dates maybe) I'd always try to pay... But she's gone if she's not trying to pay just as much as I am.

Practicality beats everything and I'd only want to date someone who feels the same way. Plus, if it's a serious relationship all money is considered as the same pool even if physically it's separate bank accounts and such. If you have trouble asking your partner for money if you really need it (and vice versa) then the relationship isn't as serious as you think it may be.

[Redacted01]

Re: How Often Should the Guy Pay?

You guys must be pretty hard to be around if you always have to pay to "get any" (especially if we are talking past the dating stage and you are at least a bit serious). I pay the first couple of dates, but then after that, there is no rule. I've had girls insist before that they at least pay half because they feel bad that you are always taking them here and there, etc...

[shugknight]

Re: How Often Should the Guy Pay?

Of course the first date the guy pays. Maybe the next date as well. But the girl HAS to offer to at least pay or give some money or tip. If she doesn't, and when the bill comes she's looking at her phone or looking to be occupied, she's not a keeper.

[NDAlum]

Re: How Often Should the Guy Pay?

If you ask somebody out on a date you should pay. They are your guest for that evening. Hopefully you take out a girl who has her life together and if the date goes well she'll offer to get dinner the next time.

With regards to how often it depends on financial situations (when in a relationship)