More Relationship Advice

[Redskinsfan26]

Sorry, I don't mean to turn this site into some sort of dating hotline, but I need your guys opinion. Ok I'm 18 my girlfriend of 10 months is 17. I went through her phone(as bad as that is) and found that she is talking to her ex. Her ex that she dated for 14 months.

They ask each other what their plans are for the day, things of that nature, and it's clear my girlfriend is the one leading the conversation. The last 4 messages have all been from her, her saying simple things like" hey " or happy birthday"

She knows I am NOT ok with her texting him. What do I do? If I say something, she knows I went through her phone. If I don't say anything, I have to live with knowing this; which I feel like is not an option. Is this something you break up with someone for? Or am I way overreacting? And advice would be greatly appreciated

[TripleCrown9]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Shouldn't have gone through her phone. Break up with her, it's obvious you don't trust her.

[aholbert32]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Sorry, I don't mean to turn this site into some sort of dating hotline, but I need your guys opinion. Ok I'm 18 my girlfriend of 10 months is 17. I went through her phone(as bad as that is) and found that she is talking to her ex. Her ex that she dated for 14 months.

They ask each other what their plans are for the day, things of that nature, and it's clear my girlfriend is the one leading the conversation. The last 4 messages have all been from her, her saying simple things like" hey " or happy birthday"

She knows I am NOT ok with her texting him. What do I do? If I say something, she knows I went through her phone. If I don't say anything, I have to live with knowing this; which I feel like is not an option. Is this something you break up with someone for? Or am I way overreacting? And advice would be greatly appreciated

You dont have a smoking gun. From what youve written there is nothing in those texts that show she and him are doing anything. The only thing shes done is go against the fact that you dont like her talking to her ex. So what happens? You approach her about the texts, she says they were innocent and flips it on you by getting upset you went through her phone.

You cant win here. Thats why I would never go through my wife's phone. You wont find anything if you dont look for it.

[Redskinsfan26]

Shouldn't have gone through her phone. Break up with her, it's obvious you don't trust her.

It's not as simple as that. This girl has been the one true positive in my life for almost the past year. I WANT to trust her, but then I find things like this that shatter my faith

[HealyMonster]

Re: More Relationship Advice

It's not as simple as that. This girl has been the one true positive in my life for almost the past year. I WANT to trust her, but then I find things like this that shatter my faith

What made you go through her phone? Curiosity or did something make you suspicious? How log ago did she date this guy, and is he around like does she go to school with him still,etc? I mean to really figure out the best way to go here, we need to get more info

[TripleCrown9]

Re: More Relationship Advice

It's not as simple as that. This girl has been the one true positive in my life for almost the past year. I WANT to trust her, but then I find things like this that shatter my faith

Again, if you trusted her from the very beginning, you wouldn't have felt the need to go through it.

[areobee401]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Best course of action at this point would be to sleep with one of her friends.

[Redskinsfan26]

What made you go through her phone? Curiosity or did something make you suspicious? How log ago did she date this guy, and is he around like does she go to school with him still,etc? I mean to really figure out the best way to go here, we need to get more info

Honestly she has been talking about this other guy lately, seemed too friendly. I guess it comes down to trust, which suppposedly I have none of.

[Redskinsfan26]

What made you go through her phone? Curiosity or did something make you suspicious? How log ago did she date this guy, and is he around like does she go to school with him still,etc? I mean to really figure out the best way to go here, we need to get more info

She dated her ex around a year ago. That's when they broke it off. Two months later she started dating me. He's off in college, she's a senior in high school

[Nathan_OS]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Really don't know why you went through her phone.

As I guy, I even hate that. As a girl, don't even know how'd she react.

[Redskinsfan26]

Really don't know why you went through her phone.

As I guy, I even hate that. As a girl, don't even know how'd she react.

So at this point what do I do? If your saying confronting her about it would get me no where, I have to ignore what I saw?

[HealyMonster]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Honestly she has been talking about this other guy lately, seemed too friendly. I guess it comes down to trust, which suppposedly I have none of.

She dated her ex around a year ago. That's when they broke it off. Two months later she started dating me. He's off in college, she's a senior in high school

I would say next time she's talking about him, bring it up like "whats he up to? Hows he doing?" and then you can move the conversation like have you and him become friends? whats been up? You've been talking about him a lot lately. If you know your girl, you will probably be able to tell if shes hiding something,etc.

Stop looking at her phone too. lol.

[areobee401]

Re: More Relationship Advice

She dated her ex around a year ago. That's when they broke it off. Two months later she started dating me. He's off in college, she's a senior in high school

She misses him. You said yourself she was the one who pursued the conversation, right?

You clearly have trust issues(snooping around in her phone) and in a earlier post hinted at this not being the first time something she did caused those issues to become a problem.

My advice would be to end things and enjoy being 18. Too young to be allowing a female to put stress in your life. Work on yourself, enjoy the single life, and then commit to a relationship later on down the road.

[AUChase]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Actually, it is "as simple as that".

If you get to the point where you're looking through someone's phone, you should know you don't trust her enough to maintain a relationship with her long term.

You said it yourself.. you have no trust.

[TheNumber35]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Here's my $.02: trust is the number one most important part of any relationship (imo) and you just broke it big time man. They broke up, and she chose to be with you now...what's to worry about? You are a couple years younger than me and I definitely can relate to how you're feeling, and sometimes its valid to feel that way. In this situation, I'm not so sure because we need some more information. But the one thing I am sure of is that I think you flat out don't trust her. And if you can't trust her, you won't ever be able to be truly happy with her.