Self esteem i need some help

[jmood88]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

Im a sophomore in high school right now and the worst thing to do with bad self esteem is to talk to a girl (unless its your mom or sister). I had the same problems in my freshman year but torwards the end of the year I was able to find a group of friends to talk to while at school. I don't ever hang out with them outside school (I'm an introvert), but we hang out all the time during school.

But in terms of girls, I've been rejected every way possible lol. So I would stay away from them until you get your confidence back.

And one last piece of advice: Don't EVER join your high school band.

Lol

I was in the orchestra (it doesn't get much nerdier than being in the orchestra) and I was fine. On the other hand, I also played football and ran track. The moral of the story is, be more like me.

[jeremym480]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

Once you get older you can drink and your self esteem will go through the ****ing roof.


Well, for a couple of hours anyway, then it will manifest itself more into self loathing.


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[Clemsonpanther]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

Ive come across genius ideas in this here thread. I usually try to keep myself in the conversation until it becomes futile and then give up. Yeah ive discovered that girls in romance are bad ways to boost tour self esteem. There was this one girl this year that i wouldve bet $100 she liked me and i liked her too but that didnt work out at all idk if she liked me but she had had bad dating experiences before. The question is how to not 'like' a girl. This i think is impossible on all levels. And if its possible how do you revert back? But then invariably in life a girl will like you, and itd probably happen during that time of not liking. Such is life. I like school and love my HS and dont want it to speed up; i just wish I could get more emotionally stable which is wierd considering im a rational person. But ive been texting all today so that has boosted it. If thats what it takes to boost my SE then im in t r o u b l e

[HealyMonster]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

Play against me in bf4, that generally levels people up in confidence.

In all seriousness: do the things you like, ignore anyone who criticizes you for that. Smile, smile every time you don't know what else to do. Smile every time you do know what to do. Any time you start feeling down on yourself or start being overly critical, acknowledge that you are doing it, and then tell yourself something good about yourself and then...

Spoiler

smile

[superjames1992]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

It's high school. It'll be over soon and as long as you have good grades and do well in school so that you can get into college or get a good job, that's all that really matters. I didn't enjoy high school too much (we moved right in the middle of it), but it's over and I'm on with life.

[TripleCrown9]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

Get a neck tattoo.

[Clemsonpanther]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

Get a neck tattoo.

No way. Just no way.

[TripleCrown9]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

Hey, at least then you'll know for sure why people are ignoring you.

[PadresFan]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

I had self-esteem issues growing up and in high school. I battled weight issues and I had a speech problem (trouble saying r's). In fact, I couldn't wait to graduate.

Since then and as I have gotten older, I have really changed my focus as far as what is important to me. Family was the constant in my life, not my "friends" from high school. While I was attending classes and working full-time, they were stuck in their ways. I knew over time, they wouldn't be there for me and I was right. I only keep in touch with one friend and he was a groomsman in my wedding.

So Clemson, this time of your life will pass and will make you a stronger person as you continue to go through difficult events. Hope this helps buddy.

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[Feared]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

High School is still a point in your life where you are still trying to figure out who you really "Are", don't feel embarrassed or awkward that you are struggling with confidence, or that you don't have a girlfriend yet. Or that you don't have a ton of the "Cool kid crowd" friends.

Like someone mentioned you need to immediately stop caring what others think of you, and stop trying to be a people pleaser. People should genuinely appreciate your personality and be your friend because of the person you are, not for what you can do for them.

Second step find out what you want to accomplish, and what you genuinely enjoy doing, or what you would like to do; and get right to work. Start working on a goal, a hobby. Maybe that's playing Basketball pick up a ball and head to the courts.. start shooting around on your own and when you feel good enough start playing with others. Maybe it's playing Guitar, or building Computers.. Pick up a guitar start picking up tabs and take online lessons.. start working on getting computer parts and putting them together. Maybe you need income so look into getting a part time job.. baby sit, mow lawns, run newspaper routes. Just do something, doing something productive that takes up your time builds confidence... Sitting around moping because no one likes you does nothing.

Also in regards to relationships with Girls. Stop worrying about how you're going to find that "Perfect girl" because you're not going to find her... She's going to find you.. but only if you follow my first step of going out and being active in an Activity that builds confidence. The guys that have girlfriends are the guys that are generally interesting, because they go out and work towards life goals and are active in building up their personal skills. (I.e if you go out and start doing something.. Sports, Music, Weightlifting, Volunteer events, Cooking lessons) You will meet a girl a long the way that shares the same interests as you.. and you can participate in those same activities together and be able to be honest, and genuine with her instead of pretending to be someone in an awkward situation.

To sum it up Don't concern yourself with others negative opinions, Set goals for yourself, be active in hobbies that get you out and meeting people, and that will build up your confidence and improve your conversation abilities/people skills. It's a slow step by step process when you have little to no confidence but just start slow and do 1 productive thing a day to improve yourself, and they will start building on each other.

[dickey1331]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

I watched a movie that basically said do what you love and **** the rest. That's a decent motto to live by.

[24]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

High School is rough man. Coming from someone that has self esteem issues it can take a toll on you. It was a little bit easier considering I went to an all guys school which made life a little bit easier. We could just act like clowns all the time because we didn't have to try and impress any girls.

Do not allow a girl to dictate your life. You should be the only one that dictate's your life right now. Do whatever you want and whatever makes you feel happy. Don't be pressured by others to make changes you don't want to make.

Find what interests you and seek out people with the same interests. If you like a certain sport and your highschool has a team for it than tryout. You'll meet other people that share common interests.

Finally on the subject of women in general. You're a sophomore in high school trust me when I say their will be many more girls that will take notice of you. Just wait until you get to college, especially if you go away. This could also apply to your friends situation you will meet some new people eventually.

[Hooe]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

I'm gonna go the other way on this just a little bit because I think the generic advice of "it gets better" is slightly disingenuous.

It only gets better if you work to make it better. I went from high school to college expecting the "it gets better" advice to pan out; with the exception of a very small handful of highlights (including a significant one which led me to my current career path), college absolutely sucked for me and was probably the most miserable time of my life. I recognize it was largely my fault - I struggled to open up with other people and I didn't ask for help, both with respect to academics and social life - and I went on a downward spiral. In truth, sometimes this forum was the only place I really felt welcome.

I enrolled in college in 2005 and spent eight years in-and-out of school on this account; it took me until spring semester of 2010 to hit bottom and reach out for help. Without going into details, I've been climbing upwards ever since, but it's been hard and it's been something I've personally have had to put a helluva lot of effort into.

I guess if I were to offer anything to you, it'd be this - find at least one or two people you can confide with and can trust - a close friend, a parent, a counselor, a teacher / professor, someone on this forum - and also don't be afraid to ask for help if you are struggling in any capacity. Personally it took me a long time to learn the second and I'm admittedly still working on the first, and nothing has really come easy for me to this end, but I'm getting there. In an ideal world, however, no one else has to learn this the arduous and drawn-out manner that I have.

[mb625]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

I'm gonna go the other way on this just a little bit because I think the generic advice of "it gets better" is slightly disingenuous.

It only gets better if you work to make it better. I went from high school to college expecting the "it gets better" advice to pan out; with the exception of a very small handful of highlights (including a significant one which led me to my current career path), college absolutely sucked for me and was probably the most miserable time of my life. I recognize it was largely my fault - I struggled to open up with other people and I didn't ask for help, both with respect to academics and social life - and I went on a downward spiral. In truth, sometimes this forum was the only place I really felt welcome.

I enrolled in college in 2005 and spent eight years in-and-out of school on this account; it took me until spring semester of 2010 to hit bottom and reach out for help. Without going into details, I've been climbing upwards ever since, but it's been hard and it's been something I've personally have had to put a helluva lot of effort into.

I guess if I were to offer anything to you, it'd be this - find at least one or two people you can confide with and can trust - a close friend, a parent, a counselor, a teacher / professor, someone on this forum - and also don't be afraid to ask for help if you are struggling in any capacity. Personally it took me a long time to learn the second and I'm admittedly still working on the first, and nothing has really come easy for me to this end, but I'm getting there. In an ideal world, however, no one else has to learn this the arduous and drawn-out manner that I have.

Agree with this. My freshman year of college I was miserable, largely because I didn't put myself out there enough and basically kept to myself and mainly hung around with my "friends" from high school. Then I started surrounding myself with different people and then things started to get better. Surrounding myself with a few really good friends rather than a lot of not close friends like I had in high school. If you find a few close friends you can confide in, in my experience, that is extremely helpful.

[ubernoob]

Re: Self esteem i need some help

Step One: Stop caring what the **** high school students think. Find things you enjoy, and do those things. Try new things. But mainly? Stop caring what others think.

That's really just the key to life, there. If you're doing something that will/does make you happy, that's all that matters.