Unique Situation, Advice would be great

[Bradster224]

Sorry if I get off track or this post gets extra long, but I really need help with this. Some of you may know me, but if you don't, I'm a 16 year old guy from Australia, nice to meet ya. Okay, to begin with my problem, I am a very awkward guy, I cannot talk to people in general I am not close with because I am very self-conscious about myself. I have a stutter and find it hard to pronounce words sometimes, this has been the subject of bullying at the start of high school, so that's where it stems from. Since I can't talk to people face to face comfortably, I like talking to people over the internet better (Such as you guys). My problem comes from this girl I "met" via a social app I had not too long ago. She was pretty attractive, so I messaged her, and we got along great, we talked for about 9-10 months, all the while I was really attracted to her. By this time we were pretty close friends, I found out she lived close to me, and she had broken up with her boyfriend a month prior. I ask her out (Please don't judge) she declines, but I persist over the next couple of months, she finally says yes, and everything's awesome. Then one day, one of my friends shows me a picture of her on an Instagram account. I query my girlfriend about it, and she admits she had been lying to me this whole time (Classic catfish) she lied about where she lived, her name, everything. My friends had warned me about this, but I was too stupid to realise. So I was very angry and heartbroken at this point, so obviously I wanted to end it there and never talk to her again. But then she says she hates her life, her parents abuse her, she's going to commit suicide. So I have to stay with her right? I don't want her to die. So she came clean about everything, and we've been together for the past 3 months since then. I still haven't met her, but I know what she looks like, and she is still reasonably attractive, I would say a 6.5. So I was wondering what you guys would've done in my situation, and what I should do now?


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[seasprite]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

If she is saying that she will kill herself if you "leave" and I put leave in quotes because you're really not together, then you should run and run away as fast as you can. She has issues that have nothing to do with you and its not your responsibility what she does to herself because you dont want a relationship.....or whatever the heck this is, with her. My advice would be to tell her to seek help.

[kingkilla56]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

I know you're young, but do yourself a favor and end all communications with this person immediately. That is the only advice you should follow. I also hope you haven't given this person any of your personal details like addresses, personal numbers, credit/debit numbers, any passwords or anything like that.

[Bradster224]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

She has my phone number, but that can easily be changed if it needs to be


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[cavsfan2]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

She's trying to guilt you into staying so her/his "joke" or scam can continue. Just cut ties. This person has some serious issues.

As for your confidence issues, that will get better over time. You gotta realize that the people who make fun of you for your stutter are the ones with the problem, not you.

[Comp]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

Trust me on this, run and never look back. I broke up with my ex because of her saying things along those lines (killing herself, wished she could be gone, etc.) because I would rather spent time lifting instead of sitting at her house while she studied for finals during her last semester and many other reasons too. Don't deal with crazy, you deserve better.

[Bradster224]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

She's trying to guilt you into staying so her/his "joke" or scam can continue. Just cut ties. This person has some serious issues.

As for your confidence issues, that will get better over time. You gotta realize that the people who make fun of you for your stutter are the ones with the problem, not you.

I can see that, it was too good to be true in the first place god dammit

Thanks for your support, means a lot


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[Bradster224]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

Trust me on this, run and never look back. I broke up with my ex because of her saying things along those lines (killing herself, wished she could be gone, etc.) because I would rather spent time lifting instead of sitting at her house while she studied for finals during her last semester and many other reasons too. Don't deal with crazy, you deserve better.

Sorry if this is too intrusive, but did she ever try to end her life after you broke up with her?


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[Comp]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

Sorry if this is too intrusive, but did she ever try to end her life after you broke up with her?


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Nope, she just got real angry at me and would call me and leave hateful messages and try to push my buttons and then she would send me facebook messages too. That lasted for a month and now she is dating a 33 year old who really has no drive in life and she is not putting her degree to use.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

Like already mentioned, run and don't look back. You don't need this kind of drama in your life. You are being manipulated into staying in the "relationship" You deserve better.

[Jr.]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

Call Child Support Services in her area. If she's being abused by her parents, she needs to be removed from the home. If she's lying, her parents will find out about it, as will you, and you'll have your reason to cut ties. If it's true, you're helping her out big time.

As for the suicide stuff, tell her to talk to her school counselor (if she has one, I don't know about schools in Australia). They're trained to work with suicidal thoughts/beliefs, not you. Don't put that responsibility on yourself because you're not qualified or able to handle it. It's most likely just a call for attention, but you never know.

If she brings up stuff about it, divert the conversation and just continue to tell her that you can't help her and aren't qualified to give her any kind of advice and she needs to speak with someone who is. There are suicide hotlines here in the US.. do some research and see if there is a number you can give her.

[mtoo22]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

In 4 years you will look back and realize running as fast as possible was the best decision you ever made

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[Vice]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

I have to say that I'm with Jr. If we assume that this person is, in fact, real, and faces these real problems, then suicide has to throw up red flags. Whether it's a strategic ploy for attention or a genuine feeling of miscontent, you're right in recognizing that it's too much for a 16 year old or a 61 year old to handle easily.

Sounds to me like you need to offer whatever external help you can, and cut your losses. I just can't see a happy ending in this for you given that you had decided to end this until self-harm became part of the equation.

[Phobia]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

Bradster, couple things I would suggest.

1) Like everyone has mentioned, run like the wind and break all ties. That is drama no man young or old needs to have apart of his life.

2) Drop the "internet" relationship thing. First of all you are not "with someone", "together", or "dating" if you have never met. You might have a bond and emotionally invested due to common interest, but you are far from "together". A long term relationship is tough on the most level headed, dedicated, emotionally invested adults, a young 16 year old "couple" this is the last thing they need.

I know you said please don't judge, and trust me I'm truthfully not judging one bit. I'm just offering in my opinion, some crucial advice. Work on meeting a girl you can hold hands, cuddle, have your first kiss, and create a real world bond. Something that carries significant weight in improving important life skills which include dating, heartbreak, how to talk to girls, and most importantly how to improve your own self esteem. Life seems scary and tough at 16, but trust me by the time you reach 35 all the things that seem huge now, you will realize were laughably insignificant.

[AUChase]

Re: Unique Situation, Advice would be great

Is this her ?