My dad passed away last night

[Motown]

Re: My dad passed away last night

Wow, Blaaz...I lost my Dad the same way(heart attack). I'll never forget the day the doctor called me & told me they brought my Dad back 3X, but the 4th time they lost him. I was devastated. I had to be strong for my Mom, & go & pick out the casket & his attire to be buried in. I know what your going thru, & if you ever need to talk, I'll be there for ya. Sorry for your loss man. My condolences to you & your family.

[ChubbyBanana]

Re: My dad passed away last night

Blzr I am sorry to hear about your loss. Thoughts and prayers to your and your family.

I know I lost my dad at a time in my life where I was growing as a person also. It's rough. Just know there are people out there thinking about your and your family.

[WTF]

Re: My dad passed away last night

Wow. I just saw this thread brother, definitely sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family.

[Sinner]

Re: My dad passed away last night

Really sorry for your loss Blzr...praying for you and your family for sure.

[TarHeelMan]

Re: My dad passed away last night

I'm so sorry to hear this fam. My condolences to you and your loved ones; I hope that the warm memories of him can provide you comfort in your time of grief.

[Herky]

Re: My dad passed away last night

Sorry to hear about his.

[Blzer]

Re: My dad passed away last night

I want to thank everybody for saying what they have said in this thread. The OS community is amazing, and I never want to leave it.

I kept wanting to come back into this thread, but it's hard to write so much about it. These posts really cannot be truer (and I know I've made this kind of post a lot here):

http://www.operationsports.com/forum...9&postcount=15
http://www.operationsports.com/forum...0&postcount=12

I'll be as descriptive as I remember it, and the day is vividly scarred into my memory. I have other things to say below the dashed lines regarding another [related] matter.

We were on vacation in San Diego, staying at our beach house. It was Sunday and I had to fly back home that night to start the new school year the next day, although my family was going to stay down there. My dad normally doesn't come out on the beach, he'll stay right inside the house, just a couple hundred feet away from where we lay our towels. On that day he decided to come out, swim trunks and all. I was sort of mind-numbed to the fact as I was laying down on my towel, listening to music.

It was about 3:45. When I opened my eyes and saw nobody else on the towels, I looked out toward the water and saw a crowd around somebody, dragging the person out from the ocean. They were silhouetted in black because of the sun gleam. I wanted to help so I started to sprint toward the shore. As I got closer, my sister yelled for me to call 9-1-1, so I started to sprint back to get my phone. I described the situation as I hardly knew it, but as they got closer to me I realized it was my father. I sank. Someone else took the phone from me.

Many moments pass, lifeguards and paramedics come, and the rest is too descriptive to detail... but they would oscillate getting him breathing and not breathing, heart beating and heart not beating, etc. He was never conscious during the time. They rushed him to a hospital, and we followed (me, my two sisters, one's husband and one's boyfriend). My mom was with my dad and my grandpa followed behind. That time in the ER was a wreck. We were by his side for the next long time as they... once again... got him and and out of breathing and not breathing, heart beating and heart stopping.

After some time, the doctor pretty much explained that he was going on last-ditch efforts to keep him alive, yet even at that point he had lost a lot of oxygen in his brain. It was about that time we were holding his hand and saying our goodbyes. They shut off the machines at 6:05 PM that night. I know of some of the things that happened in the water before I realized the situation, but I won't say them on here. I only hope he wasn't in any pain.

I still had to fly back home that night, and off to work I went (as you all know from the first post). Every time I'm with people, it's a great distraction. We held services for him a few weeks ago, and his birthday was just on September 21st. We are watching a lot home videos and keeping this hilarious man in memory. I've never seen somebody impact lives so instantaneously the way he did.

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Anyway, very recently my younger sister went back to UCLA for school, and it has just been me and my mom. My mom has been very worried about our finances. She always asks me if I'm going to keep my job for years to come, and I just say that I hope they keep me on. Our homeowner is raising our rent by over 40% (from $2800/mo to $4000/mo) in January, and we have all other bills and insurance to take care of as well. She fears we won't "make it," and that worries me as a result.

I am posting this today because both of us missed him a lot today. I came home from work and saw my mom sitting in front of an old TV out of the garage and watching a video my dad made for her 30th birthday, singing "Forever Young" on it. She was crying, and I immediately went to console her. We are strong, but we aren't that strong. I never thought money would be hard to come by... as long as I had him. Now our future has certain different considerable options about where to move to, who to get as a roommate, if I should drop my Masters program right now, if my mom should pick up the nursing program again, taking on second jobs... etc. It's kind of painstakingly difficult to figure out where to go from here.

I'm sorry this transitions from the loss of my father to our current financial state, but this is something that I've suddenly realized is very real, and I truly feel like I can't do it without him. By "it," I just mean everything. I use everything as an excuse for a distraction, because if I don't I just feel so empty inside. I can't believe I am living without my father right now and able to tell about it coherently, even if it's been seven weeks now.

Anyway, that's my rant. I'm open to any conversations ya'll want, even though this time passed long ago. This man simply cannot be forgotten though, that much I know for certain.

[aukevin]

Re: My dad passed away last night

Man that is scary stuff at the beach, sorry you went through that. It sucks that after all that then you have to deal with the money stuff. When my dad got sick and died it but a lot of financial stress on my mom. I had to get help from some awesome family members I have to get through school, and unfortunately my mom has to work more than she had expected to because of the stock market disaster in 2008 and the company my dad worked for him whole life went under and lost a lot of the retirement she was counting on. I've tried giving my mom money to help out but she won't take it, so instead I try to buy her things that help improve her life like iPads, vacations, stuff like that. You guys will figure it out, it'll just take time to do so and adjust. Sounds like you are all in it together so that is what will help the most.

[Moses Shuttlesworth]

Re: My dad passed away last night

Wow. Blzer I haven't been on OS a ton lately but I just noticed this thread.

If there is anyone who has consistently shown genuine respect towards others on this board over the last few years, it has definitely been you. There is no doubt in my mind you got that trait from your popps.

The good man is resting now, after a life of toiling under the sun. Keep your head up. You're becoming even stronger.

[jmillhimes]

Re: My dad passed away last night

Sorry to hear man. Lost my dad on 12/16/13. Died from a heart attack. He was 75 years old. Had a bad heart but couldnt get the VA hospital to do crap. Just kept running tests. Couldnt stop smoking and we were down to see him on the 15th and he was breathing wierd and just wanted to sleep. The next day he coudnt get out of bed and my mom called me to tell me he would go to hospital the following day. He looked at my mom after she hung up the phone and took his last breath. She called me back an hour later at the hospital to tell me he was gone. It hurt for so long but I think he was ready to leave this world. he fought diabetes and heart issues for five years. take pride in knowing your dad is in a better place