Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

[countryboy]

Ok, I am seeking the help of OS to provide opinions/help and let me know how they would've handled a situation that I was placed into over the weekend, that my wife is still highly upset with me about.

My wife, step-daughter, and I were out shopping over the weekend at one of the local malls. Now, my step-daughter has SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) and is confined to a wheelchair. Any time we are out she is very careful and observant of people around her, making sure that she doesn't run into them with her wheelchair.

Well as we are in a store my step-daughter is stopped and looking at something and this guy wanted to get by her. Well, with her chair she takes up quite a bit of space in tight areas. Instead of this "guy" asking her to move he tries to step around her and bumps and rubs up against her with his arm going across her face and knocking her glasses off. I see this and holler something derogatory towards this "guy" and tell him that he needs to apologize to her. He says "excuse me. I'm sorry that your a ******** little girl who shouldn't be allowed in public because you don't know what the ____ is going on cause you're ********". As soon as he said that other people in the store backlashed at him verbally, my little princess was in tears, and I snapped and attacked the man. I won't go into detail about what all happened, but we were separated fairly quickly by patrons and I was asked to leave the store and the mall by security, but wasn't disciplined further after fellow patrons explained to security what had transpired. One security officer said that the "guy" was a piece of trash and was lucky that we were separated and I didn't kill him.

In any event, my wife is thoroughly pissed at me because of this. She says that I acted inappropriately, scared my step-daughter because I turned violent (she's never seen me mad), and I was lucky I wasn't in prison. I don't disagree with her in her opinion, but tried to explain that I just snapped and went into protective mode of my step-daughter, but she still doesn't understand.

Now I ask you for your opinion/advice, was I wrong? Did I handle the situation incorrectly? Please, I'm confused and not sure what to think. I feel as though I did the right thing in protecting my step-daughter, but have been beating myself up for how I scared her.

Advice and/or opinions appreciated.

[Burns11]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

You were wrong, it's never good to lose your cool like that. That said, the other guy was an ******* who deserved more than you gave him. So you were both wrong, it's not good to lose your cool and attack someone in public/in front of your daughter, and you were right because the guy needed a beating.

[aukevin]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

The guy deserved to be punched out and I don't think anyone witnessing would blame you. Unfortunately, it isn't always that simple. An assault charge is the last thing you need so I get where your wife is coming from. You don't want to be in trouble with the law and also your job depending on how personal and legal matters like this could affect it. It's hard to not react with your protective instincts, but I think you'd have been better to verbally express what you thought of this scum and not let it get physical unless you had to defend yourself or kid.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

The guy deserved to be punched out and I don't think anyone witnessing would blame you. Unfortunately, it isn't always that simple. An assault charge is the last thing you need so I get where your wife is coming from. You don't want to be in trouble with the law and also your job depending on how personal and legal matters like this could affect it. It's hard to not react with your protective instincts, but I think you'd have been better to verbally express what you thought of this scum and not let it get physical unless you had to defend yourself or kid.

At that moment in time, I felt as though I was defending her. With him right in front of her and spewing this garbage in her face, I felt at that moment that I was defending her.

I understand what you're saying though, and I think about that as well. How would it have affected my wife and step-daughters life if was to get into more trouble due to what happened.

[jeremym480]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

Two wrongs don't make a right.... but I probably would have tried to beat his *** too.

[fistofrage]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

Yes you handled it incorrectly, you could have gone to prison. Some people are just d-bags and they don't care you won't be the first person or the last he's been a jerk to.

You should have followed him to his house and 3 months later after he's gone and done stupid things to other people, then you strike. Be creative and have fun with it.

[Brandwin]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I agree with others. I think you were wrong for attacking him, but I sure as hell can understand why you did and being in the same situation I can't say that I would be able to keep my cool either.

Just make sure you talk your daughter about the situation, explain why you did it, how you know it was wrong and how people can sometimes let their emotions get the best of them.

I think you're wife has a right to be upset, but not letting it drag on for days. If you apologized and realize you were in the wrong, there isn't much more you can do.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I agree with others. I think you were wrong for attacking him, but I sure as hell can understand why you did and being in the same situation I can't say that I would be able to keep my cool either.

Just make sure you talk your daughter about the situation, explain why you did it, how you know it was wrong and how people can sometimes let their emotions get the best of them.

I think you're wife has a right to be upset, but not letting it drag on for days. If you apologized and realize you were in the wrong, there isn't much more you can do.

I have talked to my daughter and explained why I did it and apologized for scaring her. She told me she forgives me and loves me for protecting her. But that I did scare her.

And I'm not disagreeing that my wife should be upset, but that she refuses to let it go. I have apologized and told her at that moment I didn't think of any consequences, just I wanted the guy to hurt....badly.

[Ghost Of The Year]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

Probably as far you needed to go was just grab him by the front of his shirt collar to get his attention. I don't know if any punches were thrown but that would have been too far. As for reassuring your wife, she needs to know you'll do whatever it takes to protect her & your family. She may not be able to acknowledge that, but she damn sure know it now.

[LowerWolf]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I probably wouldn't have done a thing ... because I would have been so floored that a person could say something like that to a little girl.

[ThreeKing]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

You didn't do anything wrong.

I'm not a big believer of, 'two wrongs don't make a right', crap. You did what you needed to do. Some ignorant people out there need to learn the hard way. Hopefully someone beats that idiot's ***.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I probably wouldn't have done a thing ... because I would have been so floored that a person could say something like that to a little girl.

I was already in shocked that he pushed by her the way he did. But when he looked her face to face and spewed that crap, I was shocked and then well....angry.

[mgoblue]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

Getting physical was wrong, aside from pushing him away from her. I feel that would be allowed...then you stand in front of her and let him swing if he's a douche.

I understand where you were coming from though, and can't really fault you...I don't think I'd have gone in swinging, but sometimes you don't think.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

Agree with what's been already been said. Can't put your hands on somebody if all they are doing is running their mouth. But....

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[kingkilla56]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

Dude you're lucky that situation didnt get any worse than it did. That guy you attacked could have had a weapon and felt the need to use it on you, while your daughter and wife were on scene. What if he had a firearm and decided to shoot? You would have compromised the safety of your family and everyone in the area. You dont know this man nor what he's capable of. Please do not attack strangers unless you MUST defend yourself.

Try to keep a cool head next time something like this happens. Your wife is wise to be upset at this situation imo. You dont know what a random person on the street is capable of.