Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

[Speedy]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

I'm just wondering why it is as high as it is. Because I would to think that MOST (not all) people are getting married to the person they truly believe is the best. Maybe they weren't looking for the right thing? Or maybe the "right one" changes as we get older and change ourselves? Maybe humans aren't even meant to be monogamous to begin with?

Then you look on the flip side, and there are 50% of couples that stay married. What is it that keeps them going strong? Is there a common denominator between them?

I think most divorces occur simply because one/both mates didn't marry for love but rather because of circumstances. Sprite is right regarding the "sanctity" of marriage...in my mind, marriage is a vow that cannot be broken except due to extreme issues. Hey, I was cheated on but the love I had for her could look past her fault (once she was genuinely contrite).

[kehlis]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

I think most divorces occur simply because one/both mates didn't marry for love but rather because of circumstances. Sprite is right regarding the "sanctity" of marriage...in my mind, marriage is a vow that cannot be broken except due to extreme issues. Hey, I was cheated on but the love I had for her could look past her fault (once she was genuinely contrite).

Kudos to you man. I can look past a lot of faults but cheating is a deal breaker for me.

[seasprite]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

I think most divorces occur simply because one/both mates didn't marry for love but rather because of circumstances. Sprite is right regarding the "sanctity" of marriage...in my mind, marriage is a vow that cannot be broken except due to extreme issues. Hey, I was cheated on but the love I had for her could look past her fault (once she was genuinely contrite).

You're a better man that I! Ive been divorced twice, so I know all about "sanctity"

[tdawg3782]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

One of the main reasons I bring this up is because of marriage statistics show that 50% of marriages end in divorce and that subsequent marriages have an even HIGHER divorce rate.

That's CRAZY to me. I also a study done that showed that 78% of the divorces were initiated by the woman. That's a scary thought when thinking about everything together.

I'm just wondering why it is as high as it is. Because I would to think that MOST (not all) people are getting married to the person they truly believe is the best. Maybe they weren't looking for the right thing? Or maybe the "right one" changes as we get older and change ourselves? Maybe humans aren't even meant to be monogamous to begin with?

Then you look on the flip side, and there are 50% of couples that stay married. What is it that keeps them going strong? Is there a common denominator between them?

I understand commitment is a big factor. Also kids, and finances help keep people together.

I know this sounds crazy, but I DONT want that. I mean, I do. I just don't want that to be the DRIVING force behind why my partner and I stay together. I want us to stay together because we want each other and nobody else...because we keep falling in love with each other again and again. That's what I want our motivation to be.

Is that even possible or realistic? Or am I just reaching, a sorta pipe dream?


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I think the reason for the high rates are two fold. 1st is people getting married for the wrong reasons (financial, pregnancy, getting out of a situation, etc). 2nd is that Marriage isn't easy. There is work involved. Some times are gonna be hard and you have to persevere to make things work. You have to sacrifice to make things work. Even more so if kids are involved. But people are to self centered and don't want to try so they take the easy way out and give up. It sucks but it's true. If you eliminated those I'm sure the average would drop drastically.

As for me I met my wife at work. I was 19 and she was 17. I was obviously attracted to her (but she wasn't drop dead gorgeous). I asked her out and kind of thought I'd be able to get in real quick. Don't judge (I was 19) lol. But she was a good girl and wasn't having any of that nonsense which was actually really refreshing. So we became friends and we hung out all the time but I never worried about getting at her sexually. We did fun stuff together. It was like we were dating but we weren't. She'd even stay over and sleep in my bed but we just slept and I guess cuddled lol. We really didn't see other people during this time but we just became really really good friends. This aspect alone made her seem like the most beautiful women I'd ever met. It really is true how much personality can affect how someone looks to you. When she graduated HS she had a Army scholarship offer to go to school in San Fran to become a Nurse. We were from San Diego. So she was going to move. Up until that point I hadn't really thought about it but when it was finally almost happening I realized I would be devastated if she left. I pored my heart out to her and told her how I felt. Thank god she didn't really want to go and felt the same way about me. 14 years (11 married) and 4 kids later we are still going strong.

As has been said I think a big part is how she completes me and I complete her. Together we are a very strong team. She doesn't have to make me laugh because I'm the joker but she understands my humor and flows with it. We fight and argue but that's normal. In the end we both realize that our Marriage will have issues that come up but we just have to work to get through it.

[Darkleaf]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

I didn't know until she was gone.

Edit: 7 years later and I still dream about her, no matter who I'm beside at the time damn.

[TMagic]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

I didn't know until she was gone.

Edit: 7 years later and I still dream about her, no matter who I'm beside at the time damn.

What's the story here brother?

[Jr.]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

One of the main reasons I bring this up is because of marriage statistics show that 50% of marriages end in divorce and that subsequent marriages have an even HIGHER divorce rate.

That's CRAZY to me. I also a study done that showed that 78% of the divorces were initiated by the woman. That's a scary thought when thinking about everything together.

I'm just wondering why it is as high as it is. Because I would to think that MOST (not all) people are getting married to the person they truly believe is the best. Maybe they weren't looking for the right thing? Or maybe the "right one" changes as we get older and change ourselves? Maybe humans aren't even meant to be monogamous to begin with?

Then you look on the flip side, and there are 50% of couples that stay married. What is it that keeps them going strong? Is there a common denominator between them?

I understand commitment is a big factor. Also kids, and finances help keep people together.

I know this sounds crazy, but I DONT want that. I mean, I do. I just don't want that to be the DRIVING force behind why my partner and I stay together. I want us to stay together because we want each other and nobody else...because we keep falling in love with each other again and again. That's what I want our motivation to be.

Is that even possible or realistic? Or am I just reaching, a sorta pipe dream?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Relationships evolve over time, people fall in and out of love. I don't think there is a "right one" despite my answer previously. I think there are people that are highly compatible to each other, so I think there can be a lot of "right ones" so to speak. The "right one" can be momentary as well, as each person identifies and re-evaluates what they want/need in a partner.

I think the stigma of divorce has also weakened so more people are considering it an option. It's like diseases... once they are identified and people get diagnosed, the rates of diagnoses typically skyrocket because it becomes an option. As divorce became more common, the social stigma attached to it lessened, so more people are considering it as an option, so it becomes more common.

My wife and I are going on 2 years of marriage. Things are great.. better than they were for most of our time dating. Does that mean we're destined to stay married for life? Who knows. I sure hope so, but so many things can change that.