OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

[Majingir]

Been holding off on it all day hoping there'd be a sign(or more specifically a message) from anyone saying to start up this type of thread. But I really wanted to get one started up before a day like today ended(if there is a problem with it,I'll delete it)

In Canada today it was "Bell Lets Talk" day, which is an annual event where once a year people can do things like tweet, text among other things #BellLetsTalk and each time it happens, 5 cents gets donated towards mental health initiatives(by Bell). I think in general,over $6M might have been raised this year alone(getting backed by many celebrities,even big name ones in USA like Ellen).

Now onto the reason I made this thread. Seeing some of the posts people have made on these forums throughout the time I've been on here, and even today specifically seeing some posts from family/friends I have on Facebook who were actually using the "Bell Lets Talk" day to talk about their own anxieties/depression(some of which are some of the more outgoing people I even know, which made me surprised by it), I figured people really could use this type of thread. Now of course, if it's an extreme/emergency type of situation then this might not be the best/most appropriate place for you.

I'll get it started briefly then and just say that there's a reason I'm on this forum as often as I am and why at times I do get annoyed at some posts on here. I just come here mostly to just chat/vent about completely random topics just cause it helps clear my head. Even posting this thread now does that and I hope for others it can help them out alot too because on the internet especially, even moreso for those using screennames, it might be easier to talk about stuff with nobody really knowing who you are so you don't have to be as worried about being judged.

So if you just want somewhere to talk/vent or just want to share your stories/help others/seek advice, I hope this thread can be almost like a "safe space" for people. I want this to be a nice thread where people can feel free to be open about anything and not have to worry about people bashing them or making fun of them for anything.

[Bullit]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

I hope people take advantage of OS for just this reason.

Some of you may know the troubles I have gone thru for the last 4+ years and even now I still struggle with anxiety and depression. But I can honestly say if it were not for OS, I would be in a much worse state of mind.

There have been a lot of great folks who have always been supportive and just a friend to me on here. Sometimes that is all that is needed to make it thru a day, that simple fact that someone will listen or care that I am here.

So for anybody struggling, I am here if you need someone to listen. There are people here who can help get thru a day. Really there are. So just reach out, you will be surprised what this online community of "sports gamers" can do.

Peace to you all.

[Majingir]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

I hope people take advantage of OS for just this reason.

Some of you may know the troubles I have gone thru for the last 4+ years and even now I still struggle with anxiety and depression. But I can honestly say if it were not for OS, I would be in a much worse state of mind.

There have been a lot of great folks who have always been supportive and just a friend to me on here. Sometimes that is all that is needed to make it thru a day, that simple fact that someone will listen or care that I am here.

So for anybody struggling, I am here if you need someone to listen. There are people here who can help get thru a day. Really there are. So just reach out, you will be surprised what this online community of "sports gamers" can do.

Peace to you all.

Ya, this site does help fairly often. Just a nice place to vent at times about the silliest little things that might bother me at times.

In real life, most people I know, it's more on a serious level with conversation being about important things. Even family, it's mostly just about major important things in life or chatting about sports. It's nice to come here and post about random things I don't really talk to people in real life about. Sure, many times people just skip over it or wonder why I even posted in the first place, but I don't care at times.

Hopefully this thread does get more active cause I know OS Neighborhood has become much less active each year, but would be nice if we could get even a simple thread like this going.

[Jr.]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

I hope this isn't taken the wrong way, because having a place to vent and/or believe people are listening can be important. I would just warn people about giving advice if they're not actual mental health professionals. I'm sure everyone will post here hoping to help, but without knowing each other personally and having a legitimate therapeutic relationship, you may end up causing more harm than good.

Anyway, I hope people find whatever it is they're looking for from this thread. I always suggest when people post legitimate problems that they should seek actual professional help, if at all possible. If there is anyone in the Denver area that needs assistance with that, feel free to PM me as I have a lot of connections in the mental health field out here.

[Majingir]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

I hope this isn't taken the wrong way, because having a place to vent and/or believe people are listening can be important. I would just warn people about giving advice if they're not actual mental health professionals. I'm sure everyone will post here hoping to help, but without knowing each other personally and having a legitimate therapeutic relationship, you may end up causing more harm than good.

Anyway, I hope people find whatever it is they're looking for from this thread. I always suggest when people post legitimate problems that they should seek actual professional help, if at all possible. If there is anyone in the Denver area that needs assistance with that, feel free to PM me as I have a lot of connections in the mental health field out here.

That's why I said in the op that "extreme circumstances" should be dealt with elsewhere. If it's just little things where people want to vent then it's fine. If it's serious life crisis type stuff then obviously this isn't the best place to go.

And by "mental health", it doesn't just mean something like depression or anger management or anything like that, it can also be things like anxiety/nerves and other things. Stuff like that for example people might feel easier talking about by hiding behind a screen name.

[bjf1377]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

So I've reverted to being more of a lurker around here for the last couple years, but I wanted to chime in here because it feels good to vent sometimes. That and I think it's nice to ignore the stigmas around mental health issues.

Thanks to some bad genetics, I wound up with the depression and anxiety my mom & sister have. I didn't really realize it until 2006, I think (I was 20 then). Over the years I've gotten to the point where I've become very aware of my issues and when they flare up, which is a blessing and a curse. I've been on and off medication, I've been hospitalized (voluntarily) twice, and over time, realized that I was probably dealing with this as a child, but I just wasn't aware of it or didn't know what it was.

Lately, however, I've become increasingly scared about what my concussion history is doing to my brain. Between the ages of 14-28, I suffered at least 8 concussions that I'm aware of. It's been gradual, but I've noticed myself going downhill mentally over time. I was a 4.0 student in HS and got a lot of scholarship offers. Move ahead 5 or 6 years and I dropped out of college. I can't focus long enough to read anything longer than a basic article on a website. My short term memory is terrible. I've dealt with a handful of different issues with my head (cluster headaches, dizziness, etc). Worst of all (in my opinion) is the new levels of depression & anxiety hit.

I've actually gotten to the point where I consider what I'm dealing with now to be totally different from my depression & anxiety because it doesn't seem to work in correlation with either of them. The first part of it is just that little voice in my head telling me to hurt/kill myself. I can be perfectly fine, and actually be in a decent mood, but in my head, this dark thought keeps popping up. Honestly at this point, I don't freak out when I get suicidal thoughts because I'm used to them, but the randomness of these one wear me down over the course of a day or two and cause me to eventually have a breakdown. It's a new "demon" for me that I haven't learned how to handle yet, so it's frustrating.

The second part that freaks me out are the thoughts I have of hurting other people. I'm a big teddy bear and not one to enjoy violence. Hell, I've only ever thrown 2 punches in my life (and both were damn good, might I add). But with this latest "demon", I'll occasionally start thinking about just beating the living hell out of various people, or worse if I were to get really suicidal. These thoughts really bug me cause it's just not who I am. This is the blessing part about being self aware because I know that I could never do something like this, but I just can't stop the thoughts from popping up.

This is all why I get freaked out when you hear about athletes that have had CTE that have committed suicide, and the handful that have snapped and tried to hurt others before killing themselves. I see the similarities in what happened to them and what I feel is starting to creep into my head. I can't tell you how many times I've just wanted to run off and leave my wife and my family so they don't have to see me go downhill. I have a doctor's appointment on Friday and I know I want to bring up CTE and I want to have him send me to a neurologist, but there's a large part of me that thinks I probably won't go see my doctor and I'll put off seeing the neurologist some more because I don't want to find out that I'm more broken than I already am. It sucks. It honestly does. And I know I have had an easier life than a lot of people, and I should be happy, but with genetics and everything else, it all becomes relative.

If you made it this far, and you're still worried about talking to people about your issues, always remember what one of my psychologists said: Anxiety & depression are illnesses. People talk about other health issues freely all the time, so you shouldn't treat mental health any differently. The more people you talk to, the more you'll realize have issues similar to yours.

Sorry for the long post

[ODogg]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

Well this place has helped me out a lot, especially with my drinking issues I had. There's a thread out there somewhere and it's lengthy.

[Majingir]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

Thought I'd bump this. Should've like 20 hours ago since today is the annual "let's talk" day, but obviously this can be used for any time of year people see fit. It obviously impacts all kinds of people, everyone from unknowns to pro athletes. Even saw pieces done recently on some players and how their careers were cut short basically because of mental health issues.

It's a mainstream reminder each year about just how big of an issue it is and how difficult it is for people. Some might never admit it(for various personal reasons), and everyone has their own ways(healthy or not) with dealing with it.

But like I said last year too, at least having a thread like this, hopefully some can use this way if it helps. Clear your head, get it off your chest, use this anonymity to your advantage, and hopefully if needed, others here could help by simply just listening(technically reading) and/or responding.

[cusefan74]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

I think this is a great thread and hope more people take advantage of it. This is a great way for people to get things of there chest or talk about things that they don't feel comfortable talking about with a shrink or whatever. I'll tell a little about myself.

My childhood was great in many ways, but there are also things that weren't great and at times way on me to this day, but not all the time, but non the less they are there.

I grew up with a tough mother, she grew up in a tough house. Getting spanked as a kid or slapped as a teenager was not uncommon, but to tell you the truth it doesn't bother me, I never thought about those things over the years. What has come to light the last few years is that my mom was a real b*tch all those years. Yell and scream and the spankings and slapping all came from her. My parents where divorced and she would drive me crazy. Always mad about something, even when I didn't do anything wrong. Always lying to me. She would say one thing then do something totally different or just say she never said it. She picked me up from football practice one day and yelled at me for not being at practice. I'm like...what? You just watched me run off the field into the locker room, but she just went off calling me a liar and blah..blah..blah. Just crap like that was normal with her.

At 16 my girlfriend had a baby girl, yeah I'm a dad at 16. I was obviously thinking with the wrong head, as we do at that age. When she was a year old, she lived with her mother at her parents house, they left the state and didn't say anything. I had an idea where they went and we ended up finding them, but since then I have only seen my daughter maybe 6 times. It's been 27 years now and it doesn't bother me as much, but I missed her whole childhood and it sucks. Now I have a 10 year old son that I am enjoying every minute with.

So over the years I have had trouble with depression on and off. Sometimes it's ok, sometimes not. It seems to get tied to how life is going. If a couple things go wrong, and there it is. I get stressed out easy, although I don't show it. My wife says I need to talk to somebody about it, but I'm uncomfortable talking to some stranger like that. So here I am unloading some stuff on you guys, strangers, but for me it's easier to do behind a computer screen like this. Although there are more things I could go on about, I think that's enough for now.

[Majingir]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

I'm not usually someone who is good at keeping in touch with people, if anything I'm probably famous for not doing so, though it never usually bothers me much since I'm good at brushing things off. But lately that's been something I've been hoping to change, but just feel like it's too late at times, or the few times I've cared enough to try keeping in touch, others couldn't care less. Really just depends on them more than me. I suck at making an effort/extending my hand, but if someone else were to, I'd have no problem at all with it.

Also, many people need or want validation from others to determine their worth and boost self-esteem, but I'm basically exact opposite. I couldn't care less about what others think. My self motivation ability is probably better than most people. I just do things mainly for myself, though if anyone ever wants me to help, I'm more than willing to, though they gotta ask, which drives people crazy cause they hate asking.

I hate this time of year though. No matter how good December was, and how good I think March and beyond will be, January - February often seems to be a dull and depressing time of the year. I'm usually fine with how things go most of year, but some reason it just bothers me around this time of year.

I think this is a great thread and hope more people take advantage of it. This is a great way for people to get things of there chest or talk about things that they don't feel comfortable talking about with a shrink or whatever. I'll tell a little about myself.

Ya, just nice for people to get things off their chest. Extreme matters should be dealt elsewhere, but just random little things to vent about, at least people have a place like this to do that.

[PVarck31]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

I'm glad to see this thread I mentioned this a long time ago in another thread, but since this is becoming a big thing right now I figured I'd share. I will try not to make this long winded and just give you the basics.

I'm Bipolar. The onset was about 2002 ish. But I didn't actually know it until I started having serious issues. I was in a manic phase for about a year. I'm got gonna tell you everything that happened during that time because it's too much. But if you look up manic phase, I pretty much fit everything.

I finally got help but was being treated with the wrong meds and wrong diagnosis. So I continued to have manic phases and then deep depression to follow. And at this time my anxiety was out of control

Anyway, I finally found the right doc. He diagnosed me as bipolar and immediately took me off antidepressants. This doctor was basically the pioneer of getting bipolar people off of antidepressants because they actually make your symptoms worse. Because of him Psychiatrists are following his treatment regimens

So I started to get a little better. But still having too many symptoms. I would rapid cycle. Which if you've never experienced that you are very lucky.

I would go from manic to depressed or have total breakdown all through the course of a day. It was hell.

Had to get another doc when we moved. We adjusted meds and I'm finally at a place where I am more stable than I've ever been. If it wasn't for my wife helping through all this, making sure I got treatment and stayed on my meds, I think I'd be in a mental institution right now.

I still struggle. There is no cure, only management of the symptoms. I have good days and bad days. I still have depression. I still get manic. I still have horrible anxiety, and I still have breakdowns. But they are more spaced out now. I'd say everyday is a struggle, but it's gets a little easier if you seek help.

I also have a few debilitating phobias. I'm not gonna get into them But they are so bad they affect my everyday life.

So please, if you need it, or your loved ones think you need help. Get it.

[notsobabybombers]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

In Canada today it was "Bell Lets Talk" day, which is an annual event where once a year people can do things like tweet, text among other things #BellLetsTalk and each time it happens, 5 cents gets donated towards mental health initiatives(by Bell). I think in general,over $6M might have been raised this year alone(getting backed by many celebrities,even big name ones in USA like Ellen).

Now onto the reason I made this thread. Seeing some of the posts people have made on these forums throughout the time I've been on here, and even today specifically seeing some posts from family/friends I have on Facebook who were actually using the "Bell Lets Talk" day to talk about their own anxieties/depression(some of which are some of the more outgoing people I even know, which made me surprised by it), I figured people really could use this type of thread. Now of course, if it's an extreme/emergency type of situation then this might not be the best/most appropriate place for you.

I'll get it started briefly then and just say that there's a reason I'm on this forum as often as I am and why at times I do get annoyed at some posts on here. I just come here mostly to just chat/vent about completely random topics just cause it helps clear my head. Even posting this thread now does that and I hope for others it can help them out alot too because on the internet especially, even moreso for those using screennames, it might be easier to talk about stuff with nobody really knowing who you are so you don't have to be as worried about being judged.

So if you just want somewhere to talk/vent or just want to share your stories/help others/seek advice, I hope this thread can be almost like a "safe space" for people. I want this to be a nice thread where people can feel free to be open about anything and not have to worry about people bashing them or making fun of them for anything.

I want to thank you for making this thread. I try ti be active on this forum because it gives me a place to connect with other people and talk about my interests. That takes my mind off of itself/the things I deal with, even for just a few seconds. I really appreciate knowing that there are people like you out there that are willing to listen and to facilitate safe spaces for sharing.

I'm going through a pretty rough time right now. I started dating this girl a little over a week ago and we hit it off amazingly well. She loves comic books, she's smart, funny, mature and so many of the things I want in a potential relationship. The first few days were fantastic. I was happy. Then I kept worrying that I didn't deserve someone so amazing. (I struggle with self-esteem/self-worth.)

I was convinced that I was doing something wrong, that she was upset with me. (Even though nothing had actually happened to make me think that. It was all in my head.) Last Thursday, when we were texting, I asked her about it, and she assured me that I hadn't done anything wrong. But she asked me to not ask if I was doing something so much, because I had done it a few times throughout the week. I had even said that I was worried that my excessive worrying would scare her away but, every time, she said it wouldn't scare her away and that she wasn't going anywhere.

The next day, we planned to get lunch and then hang out. She said she was busy and, because we had plans for Saturday anyway, we only got lunch. I felt like something was wrong/she was upset with me but I didn't say anything. Saturday, we saw a movie then we went to her place to hang out. 20 mins in, she said she had a lot of work to do so she asked me to leave. She said it wasn't about me, that she really was busy but she likes spending time with me. It didn't help as I left really upset and convinced something was wrong.

I got home, and I was really anxious and I just had to know. I asked her again if anything was wrong, if I did anything wrong, if she was upset with me. She said "there's nothing wrong, that I didn't do anything wrong and to trust me to tell you if anything is because right now I feel like you don't trust me." I tried to explain that it was not an issue of trust but that it's just my own stuff/insecurity.

She replied "we've only been together for a week, I do trust you but it's nerve wracking that you have asked me multiple times if you've done something wrong. It sends up a few red flags. I really like you, I do, but if you can't control this then I'm going to have to end this before it gets worse."

I replied saying that I promised to be better, to not worry so much and that I'll he the best that I can be because I like her a lot and want to be with her.

She didn't respond. Sunday at noon, I texted saying, "hey, I took some time to think. I care about you and want to make this work. Can we start over?"

No response.

I texted after the SB, saying sorry the Patriots lost. (She's a huge fan.) She responded "yeah I know it sucks (that they lost. But I think we need to get together sometime because I've bee thinking too and we need to talk."

***
I read that and thought, if that's not a pre-breakup text, I don't know what is. I responded "okay, whatever works for you."

Monday around 12:00 I asked her how her day was going. She said "good, you" and I tried to continue the conversation with a reply but she didn't respond. Everyone I talk to about it says she wants space so I need to give it to her. So I didn't text her yesterday and I didn't hear from her.

I keep thinking about it and I don't want her to think I don't like her anymore if I don't text her/keep the dialogue open so I texted today, saying hope you're having a good week. No reply.

I don't know if she wants to be with me or break up with me. I read that text about the "red flags" and was sure that she's going to break up with me. But she hasn't changed her relationship status on Facebook; it still says in a relationship with me. Everyone I talk to about it says if she was going to break up with me, she would have changed her relationship status to single or at least taken the fact that she's in a relationship with me off her FB. I'm crazy about this girl and I want to make it work. I don't want to push her further away but this is so hard, not knowing whether she's going to break up with me.

[ODogg]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

You have to get out of your own head and you have to stop asking her if something is wrong. Trust me, I went through most of my life single and for one reason why, women hate needy. They like the calm, self confident man. I'm not one and I don't believe you are either but we have to fake it. At least early on in the relationship I mean you need to keep those thoughts to yourself.

When you are together for a good while, then a woman will appreciate your opening up and showing your personal doubts about yourself in that manner, but early on it's very off putting.

I don't think it's too late for you but you need to lighten things up in some way. Start by laying off going after her for awhile. Give her some space. When she talks to you eventually you want to keep it casual and fun and ask her out for a burger or something.

You are doing the same thing I did so many times that sabotaged myself with women, you're going too deep and too personal too quickly.

As a side note, I have some dating audio files that may help you if you want them, just PM me. They seriously helped me with many issues of this nature.

I was single until I was 40 years old (I wasn't exactly the 40 year old virgin but damned close) and after using these tapes I was able to find several women and my luck turned (I am happily married now). The tapes are made by a man named David Wygant, of which the movie Hitch was based on. He's not a guy out to help you bed women or con them or anything, he's a dating coach and he coaches for both men and women so he's not about pick up lines or anything of that nonsense.

The real life Hitch - David Wygant

Just let me know if you want these files man, I hate to see fellow OS buddies struggling and I know they helped me immensely. I think it's about 8 hours worth of help and it's all really interesting stuff, never boring.

[l3ulvl]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

idunno man, that's a lot of assurance needs for only a week

does that tie into "mental health" somehow?

[PVarck31]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

idunno man, that's a lot of assurance needs for only a week

does that tie into "mental health" somehow?

It definitely ties into it. It's potentially a form of OCD.