OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

[bjf1377]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

I've typed something out here about 3 times, and I keep deleting it.

I'm very used to depression and anxiety, and I've been (knowingly) battling it for 10+ years. I think what bothers me the most now is the numbness. I know my depression is back and it's bad. But I'm not really "sad". There's just not much joy in anything, and while I'm not suicidal, I'm beyond comfortable with the idea of death. It used to scare the hell out of me. Now I just view it as a merciful end. I've screwed up my life over and over (from my perspective) and every time it seems to be coming together, something happens. I was really excited to start my first job as a cook. Now, I don't know if I'm going to go day one.

I genuinely am not suicidal. I've tried before and I'm much of wuss to deal with the physical pain. I know it's selfish of me and I know it would wreck my wife and my mother, but at the same time I just want the mental pain to end.

I know it's odd to be so up front about it all, but I needed to get this off my chest. All my friends and fairweather and only talk to me when they need something. My wife and mom have so much going on with their own issues that I don't want to be the proverbial straw on the camel's back. It's cathartic just typing it out at least

[Jr.]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

I've typed something out here about 3 times, and I keep deleting it.

I'm very used to depression and anxiety, and I've been (knowingly) battling it for 10+ years. I think what bothers me the most now is the numbness. I know my depression is back and it's bad. But I'm not really "sad". There's just not much joy in anything, and while I'm not suicidal, I'm beyond comfortable with the idea of death. It used to scare the hell out of me. Now I just view it as a merciful end. I've screwed up my life over and over (from my perspective) and every time it seems to be coming together, something happens. I was really excited to start my first job as a cook. Now, I don't know if I'm going to go day one.

I genuinely am not suicidal. I've tried before and I'm much of wuss to deal with the physical pain. I know it's selfish of me and I know it would wreck my wife and my mother, but at the same time I just want the mental pain to end.

I know it's odd to be so up front about it all, but I needed to get this off my chest. All my friends and fairweather and only talk to me when they need something. My wife and mom have so much going on with their own issues that I don't want to be the proverbial straw on the camel's back. It's cathartic just typing it out at least

Was there any particular event or occurrence that changed your anticipation toward your new job?

Suicidal ideation is something that is best dealt with in person, so if you need any assistance in finding someone to speak with, send me a PM. I'm not qualified myself to help, but I think I can help you find any resources you might need to help with your situation.

[bjf1377]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

Was there any particular event or occurrence that changed your anticipation toward your new job?

Suicidal ideation is something that is best dealt with in person, so if you need any assistance in finding someone to speak with, send me a PM. I'm not qualified myself to help, but I think I can help you find any resources you might need to help with your situation.

I think it was probably my wife's reaction. I expected her to be happy for me and supportive, but it just wound up seeming like an inconvenience to her. Like I said, she has her own issues, so logically I know she's dealing with that, but she took all the wind out of my sails a few hours after I got the job.

I love her dearly, but its like her anxiety feeds off of my issues, and my depression feeds off of her issues. After a while it just gets exhausting

[Hockeynut99]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

I never got over losing my brother 19 years ago and it still ****s with me to this day. so depression will always be apart of me.

[PVarck31]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

Hey guys, I just wanted to let anyone in the thread or viewing the thread that if you need someone to talk to my PM's/DM's are open. Same name on Twitter.

I've been in the mental health "system" for over 10 years and have experienced all the stages of seeing Psychiatrists and Psychologists from the first step of knowing I needed help and getting diagnosed, to the symptom management stage I am in now.

So if you have any questions or just need to vent or talk about anything please feel free to message me.

[Majingir]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

Today is the annual "Let's Talk Day" for mental health.

Definitely a useful day for many.

I kinda went off on twitter about stuff too so it reaches and hopefully helps a bigger audience. I'm sure everyone has stories to share. Might take months, years or decades to come out, but once they do, it's like a weight off your back.

[countryboy]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

Sorry for the thread bump, but I wanted to share a phrase that was given to me during times of need, that is hanging by both my bathroom mirror where I shave and a few other places within my house. It has helped me, I shared it with a friend of mine this morning, and thought I would share here, in case someone may need it.

[Majingir]

Re: OS Lets Talk (Mental Health Thread)

This week is the "most depressing week of the year" based on research/experts.

I think it's always the third or fourth week in January that their study shows.

Feels like a good time to bump this thread.

The last few years has been filled with pandemic talk, and even though it's not over, this year feels more "normal" than even this time last year, for better or worse.