When you realize you're not all that

[longshadow11]

I turned 50 this year. Single. I've always had women, but lately there has been a bit of a slowdown and I'm finding women I'm not all that interested in aren't interested in me either! I'm not attracting women who are close to as attractive as my exes. Realizing you're not as good looking as you thought is hard when you're single, especially when you're 50! Haha! Lately I have become the strikeout king! I know women don't care about looks nearly as much as we do, but they do care about confidence. Many single men my age derive confidence from making a great salary, but I'm a teacher. I do lawns on the side, but let's get real - if you don't make 6 figures at my age, you're not impressing anyone.

One of the surprises is that women in their 20s and early 30s are much sweeter and more into the idea of love than those in their late 30s and up. Slightly older women are very much concerned with money. I was dating a woman in her 50s who straight up told me I didn't make enough money for her and she ended it. At least she was honest.

I workout a lot and guys, not girls, tell me I look great for my age. You would think at 50 I would have cracked the code, but as I have aged I have become more confused with what women want. Other than money. I know I sound jaded, but I have dated 30 to 40 women over the last 3 years, and almost every single one of them has told me about the rich ex boyfriend who got away.

So what's the point of this? I don't know - just a guy who had confidence but the dating scene has kicked my butt. Maybe some of you have words of wisdom. I'm sure I'm like most of the men on here - I'm not a player and would love to meet the right woman. But I'm starting to think it's not gonna happen, so I'm quitting the whole thing and focusing on fixing up my house, traveling to places I want to see(alone), and saving money.

[slickdtc]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

I’ve got just one piece of advice...

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[ubernoob]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

I workout a lot and guys, not girls, tell me I look great for my age.

I think you found your audience.

[cusefan74]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

Wherever you are finding these chicks, you need to go somewhere else. There are plenty of women that don't care about money.

[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

You need to stop fishing at Materialistic Lake. If you require money to get women, then those women aren't dating you, they are dating your money. I know a guy right now that was homeless, don't work and still get girlfriends with high paying jobs. A lot of women don't care about income level. That is like saying you have to drive a certain type of car to get a girlfriend or be a certain height.

[countryboy]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

I turned 50 this year. Single. I've always had women, but lately there has been a bit of a slowdown and I'm finding women I'm not all that interested in aren't interested in me either! I'm not attracting women who are close to as attractive as my exes. Realizing you're not as good looking as you thought is hard when you're single, especially when you're 50! Haha! Lately I have become the strikeout king! I know women don't care about looks nearly as much as we do, but they do care about confidence. Many single men my age derive confidence from making a great salary, but I'm a teacher. I do lawns on the side, but let's get real - if you don't make 6 figures at my age, you're not impressing anyone.

One of the surprises is that women in their 20s and early 30s are much sweeter and more into the idea of love than those in their late 30s and up. Slightly older women are very much concerned with money. I was dating a woman in her 50s who straight up told me I didn't make enough money for her and she ended it. At least she was honest.

I workout a lot and guys, not girls, tell me I look great for my age. You would think at 50 I would have cracked the code, but as I have aged I have become more confused with what women want. Other than money. I know I sound jaded, but I have dated 30 to 40 women over the last 3 years, and almost every single one of them has told me about the rich ex boyfriend who got away.

So what's the point of this? I don't know - just a guy who had confidence but the dating scene has kicked my butt. Maybe some of you have words of wisdom. I'm sure I'm like most of the men on here - I'm not a player and would love to meet the right woman. But I'm starting to think it's not gonna happen, so I'm quitting the whole thing and focusing on fixing up my house, traveling to places I want to see(alone), and saving money.

Are you sure?




Seriously, I think you're trying too hard and are thinking too much about this. Just live your life. Fix up your house, travel, and one day out of no where you'll meet a girl/woman and something will just click.

And hey, maybe you haven't found the right woman yet, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy playing with the wrong ones! :wink:

[z Revis]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

Yeah I’m not sure where you’re finding these woman but it’s at the wrong place. Plenty of woman would be perfectly fine with dating a teacher even at your age. Ain’t like you’re homeless man lol.


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[RockinDaMike]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

Travel to asia and you'll find a beautiful honey no problem.

[longshadow11]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

I knew you fellas would help me get my head on straight. I'm doing exactly as advised - not worrying about it anymore. It has been hard. I live in a mid size city - about 120,00 - and run into my both of my ex wives. Both are pretty and it's hard seeing them with other men. I'm almost always alone when I bump into them and they are always with their dudes.

I'm taking 3 months to do the things I want and not date at all. Gonna catch up on videogames, get my house fixed up, and travel a little. Read some books, read some comic books, workout, and reestablish old friendships.

I've been rejected a lot! And each time I feel like I have to prove the woman was wrong by going out and getting as many as I can. Pure stupidity. And being 50 has made me afraid I will be alone until I die, but I realized the other day as long as I am healthy and able to work hard and go have fun, being alone isn't bad at all.

I'm finally going through a divorce care class; something I should have done 8 years ago. And I am already seeing so many things I've done wrong.

But back to the title of my post - ageing is hard. I've been a little delusional and thought I could hang with the young bucks. It's good to realize I'm not in any way a stud and what really matters is being a kind person.

[Feared]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

I knew you fellas would help me get my head on straight. I'm doing exactly as advised - not worrying about it anymore. It has been hard. I live in a mid size city - about 120,00 - and run into my both of my ex wives. Both are pretty and it's hard seeing them with other men. I'm almost always alone when I bump into them and they are always with their dudes.

I'm taking 3 months to do the things I want and not date at all. Gonna catch up on videogames, get my house fixed up, and travel a little. Read some books, read some comic books, workout, and reestablish old friendships.

I've been rejected a lot! And each time I feel like I have to prove the woman was wrong by going out and getting as many as I can. Pure stupidity. And being 50 has made me afraid I will be alone until I die, but I realized the other day as long as I am healthy and able to work hard and go have fun, being alone isn't bad at all.

I'm finally going through a divorce care class; something I should have done 8 years ago. And I am already seeing so many things I've done wrong.

But back to the title of my post - ageing is hard. I've been a little delusional and thought I could hang with the young bucks. It's good to realize I'm not in any way a stud and what really matters is being a kind person.

Have you considered maybe moving to another City? Not like just pack everything and go, but maybe when the time's right.

Seems like the issue is you've run the well dry in your mid sized city, you know all the spots and your comfortable. Maybe a relocation is just what you need to breath some new life, meet new people, different Restaurants, Clubs, Bars.. whatever.

[Herky]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

Travel to asia and you'll find a beautiful honey no problem.

This is correct. A friend of mine who never had luck with the ladies here (he will even admit he's very plain looking) went to Japan for 2 years for work and said women were all over him. He'd go out at night and once they found out he was American they lined right up.

He ended up asking to stay another two years but sadly got sent back to Michigan where he's back to getting no women.

[woodjer]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

This is correct. A friend of mine who never had luck with the ladies here (he will even admit he's very plain looking) went to Japan for 2 years for work and said women were all over him. He'd go out at night and once they found out he was American they lined right up.

He ended up asking to stay another two years but sadly got sent back to Michigan where he's back to getting no women.

I can vouch for this, too. My family and I went to Japan when I was 14 and I got hit on (didn't realize it then) left and right. My parents found it funny and even struck up a relationship with one pair of sisters (and their mom) that lasted for several years after we got back. Kinda weird when they finally pointed out what I was too young/dumb to see.

[longshadow11]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

A new location would help tremendously, but my daughter lives with me and she has 3 more years of school. When I go to bigger cities the dating app on my phone blows up - one weekend I had over 100 messages from women most of us would consider 7s or 8s. It's frustrating. Thankfully some of the women who live 3 hours away are up for a little distance dating. The bad part is it's difficult to sustain a relationship with a 3 hour drive and it's expensive.

Pretty frustrating that great looking, fun women from big cities are interested but women in my town, who aren't nearly as attractive or interesting, are not. Even my parents don't get it - they think my exes have done their best to ruin my reputation. I know I may come across as a little shallow, but don't we all want a woman we find attractive?

I am taking the advice to stop looking for a few months. I need a break from being dumped - ha! And I need to take some time to work on my attitude and restore my confidence.

[roadman]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

I think you might be trying too hard to equal or pass the looks of your exes.

Sometimes, nice and stable out last and out perform the exes.

[SmashMan]

Re: When you realize you're not all that

I know I may come across as a little shallow, but don't we all want a woman we find attractive?

Well yeah. I've never met someone, man or woman, who wasn't attracted to their partner and still got with them. That part's human nature. It's when you get to this point:

I think you might be trying too hard to equal or pass the looks of your exes.

that you'd be running into issues. If you're not attracted to a woman, cool. That happens. If it gets to a point where you're telling yourself that you aren't because you're comparing to women from your past and letting that sabotage you, that'd be a problem.

Obviously not saying you're at that point because what the hell do I know about you (haha), but just something to watch for.