Glory Glory Man United
March 2018
March 2nd
Manchester United 2 - 1 Crystal Palace
Lacazette 17', Benzema 86'
Hooper 89'
Simulated.
March 5th
Hull City 0 - 1 Manchester United
Henderson 90'
"Hull is a small and weak team but they still cause us trouble every time they play against us. That is unacceptable! Who are you?! You are Manchester United! Now go out there and show them that you actually are the best team in the world!"
Hopefully this time we would beat them easily. The players were getting in line in the tunnel and Fabio Coentrão came to me.
"Boss, I'm not happy."
"And why is that?"
"I would like to play more. I'm not enjoying sitting on the bench."
"Do you know why you don't get that much playing time? Because you aren't good enough. You won't be getting a lot of playing time when David is in the club."
"In that case I want to leave the team in the summer."
After saying that he turned around and walked to the bench. I don't even know why he thought that he could get into the starting eleven when the best left back in the world comes before him in the pecking order.
***
"Keep the ball! Don't waste your time with those idiotic backheels when the ball goes straight to an opponent!"
"Stay in position! In defence you run to here, not to there! Step up your game!"
"Tackle that fu*ker! You are the best in the world and he's a nobody!"
"Only two minutes of added time? Are you serious? Wait, come on Isco, pass it to Hendo! Shoot! YEEES! Take that, you bloody wankers!"
***
March 7th
I was wearing a suit, which I don't wear that often, and I walked through the door to the Glazer's office. They wanted to meet me again. Why? I have no idea.
"Good afternoon, mister Corleone."
"Good afternoon."
"As you probably recall, we lost and got humiliated in a cup match against West Bromwich."
Thanks a lot for mentioning it.
"Yes, I remember that. It was two months ago and the team has been better lately."
"But a club like Manchester United doesn't accept humiliations."
"Yeah, and that's why you let Van Gaal manage the club for a year and a half after he lost to MK Dons and Leicester."
"That's not important now. We have a FA Cup tie against Manchester City in a few days and you have to win the game. We want to see you win the domestic double."
"And the sky is blue. Of course you want us to win."
"If you happen to lose the match, hmm, let's say there are a lot of managers who dream about coaching at Manchester United."
"But none of them are as good as me. Now, excuse me, but I have a dinner reservation after thirty minutes."
I waved to them and walked out.
"What do you think, Joel?"
"About what? Corleone? He's a great manager but he doesn't respect anyone."
"You're right. The negoatiations with Ancelotti are going well and he should be with us in the summer. What do you say?"
"You want to fire Corleone?"
"Correct."
"I don't really know. He showed his quality last season."
"Nah. Even an ape could win everything with a team like that."
"I guess you're right."
***
March 9th

Quarter Final
Manchester United 3 - 3 Manchester City
Robben 51', 74', Lacazette 90'
Cavani 69', 89', Nasri 78'
"Yes, shoot already! Come on United!"
"Get closer to that long-haired ladyboy! NO! MANUEL YOU FU*KING IDIOT! HOW CAN YOU LET A LOW SHOT FROM OUTSIDE OF THE BOX GO IN?!?! If we had substitutions left your a*s would be getting roasted on the bench!"
"Pass it around, wait for space, yes, shoot, yeah! Suck it, you gloryhunters! Manchester is read!"
"Don't give him space! Tackle him! Now, Manuel, jump! NO! MANUEL, THE BALL WENT A COUPLE INCHES ABOVE YOU! WHY THE F*CK DIDN'T YOU JUMP YA PRICK?!"
"An easy steamroller, we'll get it and start the count... WHAT THE ****, MANUEL?! THE BALL WAS GOING STRAIGHT AT YOU!!! EVEN MY GRANDMOTHER WOULD'VE CATCHED THAT! YOU LITERALLY PUSHED THE BALL IN THE NET!"
"Come on, come on, come on, YEEEES! We are going to a replay!"
***
"Manuel, what the absolute f*ck was that?!"
"I'm sehr sorry, it was a misjudgement..."
"What was a misjudgement?! They had THREE SHOTS in the whole game! And you let all three go in!"
"I know, the ball curled in the first two goals and I was-"
"I don't care if it curled in the last minute! The shots were going straight at you! End let's not even talk about the third goal! It was almost as bad as Rob Green's mistake in the World Cup!"
"Yes, I know, it was wet and the ball bounced right befo-"
"I don't give a f*ck about your bullsh*t reasons! You are getting benched against Dortmund and in our two league games this month! Now piss off and sprint twenty laps around the training pitch! Actually, let's make that thirty."
"Are you serious? Everyone makes mista-"
"Vierzig, Manuel. Forty laps. NOW!"
***
March 12th

Round of 16, 2nd leg
Borussia Dortmund (0) 0 - 2 (3) Manchester United
Benzema 74', 77'
"High pressure boys, high pressure. Yes, steal the ball, run, faster, shoot, yes! We are going to the quarter finals!"
"Come on, finish this counter attack, Benzema, do it, come on! Game over, Borussia! See you next year!"
***
March 13th
"What do you mean you can't change the date of the FA Cup replay?"
"I'm sorry, it's against the rules."
"Are you serious?! We have a Champions League match the day before the cup game! Two games in two days is ridiculous!"
"Sorry, can't do that."
"Can you then move our league game which is two days before the Champions League game?"
"I'm sorry but it's impossible, it's too late to change the date."
"Thanks anyway. And tell your bosses that they are huge pricks."
***
March 21th
Manchester United 2 - 0 Derby County
Powell 15', Stones 78'
Simulated.
***
March 24th

Quarter Final, 1nd leg
Manchester United 3 - 1 Tottenham Hotspur
Benzema 24', Bale 72', Lacazette 80'
Bentaleb 8'
"Alright boys, we have beaten them in the league and we will beat them in the Champions League. A small win isn't enough, we need to score at least a couple goals because those FA pricks can't make good schedules. Go out there, and show those chickens that you are the best players on the planet!"
***
"Mark him, get closer to him, nooo! Come on guys, don't let that sh*t goal break you! You will beat them!"
"Come on Benz, come on Benz, come on! Yes! Now let's score a few more!"
"You can do it, Gareth! Yes, get in! What a shot!"
"Here we go! They are a lot slower than you and you know that! Alex, slot it in! Hell yes, bye bye Spurs!"
***
March 29th
Norwich City 1 - 2 Manchester United
Tettey 36'
Lacazette 28', Powell 73'
Simulated.
***
March 30th
"I have interesting news for you."
"What do you mean, Mino?"
"I heard that the American duo is negoatiating with Carlo Ancelotti about the manager position."
"Are you sh*tting me?"
"Do I sound like I'm f*cking with you? Because I'm not."
"So they want to replace me? Those backstabbing, burger-loving bastards. Has anyone showed interest in me?"
"Yes, there are a lot of clubs but they are too good for you. Everton, Lille, Monaco, even Real Madrid."
"F*ck you. I'm the best manager in the world right now. And at least I'm not a fat pizza baker."
"I'll travel to Manchester and I'll f*ck you myself."
"I couldn't care less about your empty threats. None of those teams interest me. I have to go, bye."
I was furious after Mino told me that the Glazers want me out of the club. I want to leave the club as soon as possible but it isn't an option right now. The World Cup will be played in few months and I don't want to lose the Bulgaria job. It seems like I'm in a deadend.
Thank you for reading this post! I hope you have enjoyed it! Any feedback or suggestions will be appreciated!
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