The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

[lilbiggio]

11:28PM

Prologue


Our story begins exactly thirteen minutes and 11 seconds after the events that ended Part 2.

Holman Keezel had since been taken to the hospital by his security guard Josh. Now elsewhere maybe two or three blocks down the street, the Mystery Man had checked back into the Best Western Suite on Pine Crest avenue. And after a walk that may have seemed like hours but only took moments. He entered room 424 with a smile on his face.

Inside sat 6 people in suits eagerly awaiting an update.

Mystery Man: It has been done. It's over.

A man with a heavy voice spoke up

Man: Is he dead?

The mystery man hesitated a moment on his next words. It would have seemed that they should have flowed out of him quickly. This evening, this moment of victory which he had to wait for night in and night out for a year. Yet, he knew something they didn't.

Whatever had happend to Holman Keezel 13 no make that 14 minutes now earlier, was not by his hand. He had no clue whether Holman would survive or not but this truth could not be revealed. Hell no...

And the impending question was still lingering. Who was the angel investor? Who would take over the Braves now that Keezel was out of the way... The Powers that Be would want to know everything was finished, and at this moment it was only 50% done, but they didn't need to know that. They'd still ask, he was sure of it...

Those were questions he didn't know... so he did what he had to do.

Mystery Man: He is as good as dead. The bullet was fatal.

Another man spoke up

Man 2: That is good. Thank you for ending this tonight. {CENSORED}, you have worked hard we know that and we thank you for sticking with it. We can now prepare our next steps in this process. Go on and get yourself some sleep now, you can let yourself out...

Mystery Man:(interupting)...and my pay... that was a half million bounty on Keezel's head.

Man: Oh yes, you'll get your money in the morning... but right now is not the time. there is still the business of completing our investigation over who spotted Keezel the $500 million dollars and punishing that bastard as well for costing us so much money these past few years.

Mystery Man: ... oh uh yes.. alright, well it has been a long night... I'll see you tommorrow.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Hey guys... Glad to be back, the other post was getting kind of long but well the season ended kinda abruptly thanks to the Cardinals beating the heck out of us in 5 games in the 2011 NLDS.

It was time for a break. So FIFA got a couple of plays. We barbecued, we shot some hoops, did a little bit of everything to rid that taste of defeat out of our system. And well in 2 weeks it don't take long for OS to do what it do, and that post is already out of sight so we can start the 2012 edition of the Ted Turner Memoirs: Painkillers are a Man's Best Friend.

Hooray for me. Hooray for us. Hooray for America.

This is now that special time in which I now update you on the glorious Rags to Riches and back to rags story of Millionaire Ted Turner. The Synopsis is as follows heading into 2012: I mean hey if you didn't want to read over 20 pages of action and just happened to stumble in on this one, you're probably highly confused already so let's GO:


Our Story So Far (Updated 9/6/2011)

Ted Turner and the Braves for over 20 years enjoyed a lucrative and great relationship. However somewhere along the way, Mr. Turner was strong armed, cheated and kicked to the curb by fatcats in pinstriped suits and power ties. Not even allowed into the stadium that bore his surname.

As Turner laid his head in self pity and near suicide he gave one last attempt at taking back what was rightfully his. Planning to exact revenge on those that wronged him Turner sought to Buy back the Atlanta Braves in 2010 for $500 Million dollars.

Along the way with clever plot devices and utter luck, the Prince of Atlanta's $500 million dollar request was intercepted and repackaged by a former employee of Turner's, Mr. Holman Keezel.

Together Keezel and Turner executed the Unholy Alliance buying the Atlanta Braves back from Liberty Media in May of 2010. Due to circumstances Ted Turner could not outright own the Braves but he would serve as psuedo General Managers. This could not and has not been revealed to anyone as of today.

As the Braves became more competitve in the summer months pressure from Turner led to Keezel releasing Sitting GM Frank Wren from his contract to make room for Ted. This unexpected move left Wren in a state of bitter anger.

Our story took an even futher dive into the dark side as, Holman Keezel months removed from gaining the rights of the Braves had his life nearly taken from him at gunpoint by a mysterious assailant. All the man asked was that the Braves throw the 2010 World Series vs. the Cleveland Indians..


As we all know though... things didnt' work out quite as planned. Atlanta became the 2010 World Champions of Baseball

2011

The following year things seemed to go smoothly, Holman and Ted went relatively under the radar albeit living under constant fear of death threats and random stalkings from our mysterious man in black. While this was going on, Ted and Holman fueded over the acquistion of a former Brave John Rocker.

Ted went behind Holman's back and signed Rocker to a minor league deal. To obscure his identity Rocker was to grow his beard out to bibical proportions, and rock gucci designer shades while on the mound. He was also to change his name to John Boy to throw off the scent of any New York haters. Although this made Rocker the coolest kid in the clubhouse it didn't equal wins, and Rocker has currently been stuck at the AA level working on a third pitch with Roger McDowell.

At the major leage level the Braves nearly went back to the World Series but were ousted by the St. Louis Cardinals in the Divisional series. It didn't help that they had manufactuerd the modern day 1927 Yankees thanks to poor A.I. or just sheer luck.. It would be later this night at 11:15PM that the mystery man and another man yet to be identified would meet up outside the clubhouse and through a turn of events that have yet to be explained, apparently have caused Holman Keezel to cease existing.

And that's where we will begin part 3...


To Catch up on the details, go to the following links
Ted Turner Memoirs: Vegeance and Apple Pie - 2010
Ted Turner Memoirs 2: Corruption - 2011

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Atlanta Braves 2010 Season Recap

Atlanta Braves 2011 Season Recap (NEW)


You just read about the behind the scenes stuff... or pretended to and just wanted to see some action. Well here it is homie. The actual Atlanta Braves baseball team. And man we're 2 years deep now. Here's All the top highlights from last year and I even threw in the year before too just for fun. You may have read about this in the previous chapters but it's always cool to reminence... lemonade as always sold seperately.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

With the Braves being the first team in Major League history to actually put someone in the front office on the disabled list. Ted Turner had to step in and take over the ship. The Winter Meetings still had to take place. The team still needed to either rebuild or reload.

Because of the dangerous situation that had happened to Holman Ted had Josh the security guy handle his dirty work. Had people not been paying attention they might have thought Josh had done the offseason managing himself... but these transactions reeked of Ted Turner.

No, not because Ted got ridiculous and made bad signings, but because in true Turner fashion, he again spent 30 days working on one target to lose him with no viable backup plan in motion. it was this same nonsense that had lost him Derrek Lee and Carl Crawford in the same offseason.




Ted Realized that the top draw Mark Buehrle was commanding too much dinero. Ted made the right move and scrolled down and found a rather good diamond in the second tier.



Ha.. Ha! CJ Wilson is a beast pitcher", Ted thought. And Texas only paying a pitiful 5Million for him? Hell we'll double the taxes...no..no, TRIPLE the taxes! 20 MIL!!


After deeming 20 million a little too cool for Wilson's parade, and dropping it down to a little over 17Mil. Ted sat back and drank some kool-aid. It wouldn't be long at this rate. Who would take 5 million over 17million? We just went to the World series, and were a few games last season from returning again. This was in the bag. Derek Lowe's replacement would be CJ Wilson.

Then it wasn't... CJ resigned with Texas for the lowball offer of 5Million.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.



Ego bruised but not beaten, Ted then entered the Jose Bautista sweepstakes. After a monster year in Toronto and the loss of Chipper Jones... we could certainly see a connection with bringing Bautista to the ATL.

But again, it didn't happen. The Yankees came out of nowhere and threw a ridiculous amount of money to sign Jose. Since A-Rod is still the everyday Third baseman, the Yanks will have to DH Bautista, or wait it out till Jeter retires and then move Arod over to SS... this was a bad signing but atleast it kept him out of St. Louis which was on his short list of 5 available teams.





Well this offseason sucked balls. We spent all our energies trying to get CJ.. we still lost him. Ted was demoralized. Would it be 2011 all over again? Had he not scrolled down just a little further things might have been bleak. But sitting just on the edge, almost left for dead.



Carlos Zambrano a great Cubs pitcher, black balled out of baseball for his immaturity. Praised for his intensity. This was a Ted Turner type guy. He had done it many times before taking chances on guys that nobody would touch with any common sense. Last year it burned him... and yet, here he was willing to give Zambrano a 5 year deal..

It seemed stupid at the time... and yet, at the end of the day while still stupid, at least it is a promising risk.

So there you have it, we didn't do any crazy Triple Play 95 type rebuilds... we also didn't get the opportunity to bring in a new ball club by giving everyone CC money... the game would have none of that.

Yet, felt like I should not be psuedopenalized by having Zambrano sign a deal of that magnitude. I Shake my damn head while feeling like atleast we replaced Lowe possibly.

Zambrano was the only signing of worth. We resigned the whole team pretty much and added old time Brave Rafael Furcal to play SS for chump change and peanuts.




Now that I think about it, I actually like the Furcal signing... another move reeking of Ted, and another great Brave back in the home red white, tonight.

Carlos Zambrano will rock #38
Rafeael Furcal paid Jordan Schafer $25,000 and an undisclosed amount of marijuana to change his jersey number from 1 to #2
Furcal will wear the number 1 thus ridding himself of 15 hopefully forever...

[Rexis]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

I would have just gamnled and throw one of the guys from the farm in the rotation. I mean, it's about time one of them get a chance... OR are you not using Knight and co's roster set?

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

I would have just gamnled and throw one of the guys from the farm in the rotation. I mean, it's about time one of them get a chance... OR are you not using Knight and co's roster set?

Oh yeah definately rolling with Knight's set... I think the loss of Lowe who was like my go to guy in combination with Kris Medlen who I deemed the next big thing going 3 for 13 last season really scared me into over paying for Zambrano to rock a Braves jersey.. I felt we had to get the vet just to have some sort of consistancy because pitching is what loss me the NLDS vs. the Cardinals.

The rotation heading into 2012 looks something like this, and this is without any ST played at all as of right now and off the top of my head based on the last time I fired up the Show 11:

1. Tommy Hanson
2. Carlos Zambrano
3. Jair Jurrjens
4. Kris Medlen
5. Mike Minor

(Guys on the bubble that could go either way but not really serving a specific purpose)

Brandon Beachy
Julio Teheran
Kenshin Kawakami

Again Atlanta's got a wealth of talent in the minors. We could theoretically start the youth movement this season, but I honestly don't know how many Medlen kind of games I could stand this upcoming season. I'm hoping he returns to form, and I might could let Minor be that guy this season that will be a little behind. But bringing up any more than 1 would certainly be a gamble.

Case and point bringing in Zambrano pushed everyone down a notch, and maybe made Kawakami expendable if I did go the youth route. He has tremendous value right now so I could shop him if the need is there. Spring training might answer some of those questions. but when you think about it, I probably could have gone without the signing but oh well what's done is done...

[The Big Squeezy]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Wow, I can't believe Wilson turned down your offer to stay with Texas. That's insane. At least you got Zambrano who will hopefully be able to keep it together and fit into your rotation.

I'll be reading this one as well, great job with it so far.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Wow, I can't believe Wilson turned down your offer to stay with Texas. That's insane. At least you got Zambrano who will hopefully be able to keep it together and fit into your rotation.

I'll be reading this one as well, great job with it so far.

Yeah it sucks in a way, because he held out for a long time before deciding to resign... but I can't hate the game for trying to keep it somewhat legit although that was a bit extreme of a measure to keep realism...

The first day of Spring Training is like the first day of school in the third grade. Everybody has a crazy story to tell about their vacation. Some kids got new shoes, or a cool Trapper Keeper. In the sense of our story friends, we got players coming in breaking all kinds of Ted Turner house rules:



John Rocker walked into camp sporting a new handlebar mustache. Now I'm not a person with the quality of hate that dislikes a good handle bar mustache (Damn you OS for banning the word H---er).... And I appreciate the thought of a person trying to keep his Baron Davis beard in control. But John Rocker had broken cardinal rule #1.

Keep yourself Disguised at all times

Although this rule wasn't written earlier in the story, or even mentioned in a subtle way, now was as good a time as any to throw this in there, and yes... Ted Turner was not pleased with these developments. The PR nightmare of ESPN figuring out that John Boy Rocker was really John Rocker could be in jeopordy.

Thankfully he still had the cool *** sunglasses. For the time being until the beard could grow back out that would be a happy compromise.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Spring Training Part 1 of 2

The first half of Spring Training taught us a couple of things...



5.Judging by what happened against the bad boys of the AL, there is a very good chance that Carlos Zambrano will NOT be iimposing his will on too many people this season. Sorry.

I gave him starts vs. New York and Boston and Zambrano got rocked once the lineup came around for seconds... His slider is money though... gotta give him that, but Big Z is not untouchable to opposing hitters unfortunately.

4.Jordan Schafer is holding his spot at the midpoint of March as the team's starting CF. This guy has quickly become a star in the making. But surprisingly, Nate McLouth is not just sitting on the bench collecting money so far in 2012. Nate has had a splendid Spring with 3 Jimmy Jacks, and an above .300 average so far... so he might still be able to grab the spot back. But if I had to bet money, McLouth will be traded by July.

3.Rafael Furcal's presence at the top of the order is mighty. A switch hitter with speed and contact really makes our lineup a lot more potent. Alex Gonzales days are numbered.



What the HALE?!

2.Dan Uggla who was relatively silent all season last year, did absolutely jack **** in the playoffs, and did not play like a power hitter that the simulation would make one think in games that we played . Has returned...

With a VENGEANCE.



Ok, ok... maybe he just returned and nothing more, but we NEED this kind of Dan Uggla. If he can keep playing like this, the team just got substantially better.



1.Freddie Freeman still sucks for some reason on MLB the Show 11... he doesn't hit for power. He's not really fast. He's not clutch, and he plays average to below average defense.. but atleast he got long sleeves. Next to John Boy he is easily the coolest looking player on the field.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Sorry for the delay in between updates. It is rather hard to get into any kind of rhythm during ST. With the CPU subbing guys in for no reason, combined with the general lazy feel to each day, it was quite the obstacle getting through the final weeks of March.

But it's done. And now, we can tie up everything into a nice little package and move on into the Regular season with a few things learned about our squad, and a couple dissapointments, and surprises.


Spring Training part 2 of 2



This should be fun...

John Rocker got better over the offseason. That's a win. John Rocker is still giving up unneccessary demoralizing homeruns. that's a loss. As a result he'll start off back in AA. But it looks like unlike 2011, he won't be there for long. He finally has a third pitch and had a decent but not major league worthy spring.

Minor had a teriffic Spring. Came up out of nowhere and took the 4th spot in the rotation with a 2.05 ERA in 6 starts and 21 strikeouts as well.. As our only lefty not only will we be counting on him to mature fast, we will need him to take his nickname of Lefty Sinclair with honor and make it work. As we found out with "John Boy". If you say it enough times, it'll stick... I guess.

I hate the first games of the year. Everybody seems to play like absolute boo boo defensively. Rafael Furcal just got cheated on this one. Easy routine pop fly to short. He's there for about 5 seconds, and then out of nowhere, ball hits him in the head Canseco style. I was so pissed I saw no need to capture this moment in any way.

Well... I guess one more photo won't hurt.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

30 Clubs in 30 Days: Atlanta - MLB Network

Hazle Mae gets an exclusive interview with new Braves pitcher Carlos Zambrano. And the MLB Tonight Crew discuss random things, while some brief highlights of the Grapefruit League conclude our Spring Training Coverage.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Ah yes.. you smell that? That's the smell of April.

It's something about writing about April in the middle of September that makes the sun shine a little brighter. Something that makes the trees rustle a little more. The Dos Equis taste a little better.

With Spring Training now becoming a memory that we hopefully won't have to endure again for another full calender cycle we head into the 2012 Regular season with the final cuts list. These are the guys we'll be rolling into battle with against the big ugglies of the National League's East:



The Boys from Cobb County: A recap
Brian McCann is hands down the best catcher in the National League. Buster Posey is good in his own right, but McCann's power and contact numbers have earned him the spot as team captain heading into 2012 and Chipperless. His stats were getting so nutty at one point this spring, we just simply stopped playing him for fear of injury. This guy was straight beastin' in the Grapefruit circuit.

The biggest shakeup was the absence of Nate McLouth from the starting lineup. Jordan Schafer raised some eyebrows after Nate went down with a 60 day injury last season, but now with a head to head competition, Schafer was so much better than McLouth it wasn't even funny. He earned this opportunity, and now we don't know what the hell to do with Nate McLouth who is now serving as the 4th outfielder.

The Rotation

Ace- Tommy Hanson
2. Jair Jurrjens

These two are our best pitchers and are strikeout machines.

3. Carlos Zambrano
4. Mike Lefty Sinclair Minor.
5. Kris Medlen

Zambrano is too good to be anywhere other than 3. Minor impressed us so much this spring that we want him at the 4 hole to start off the next series after our first three give it a go in a 3 game set. Kris Medlen is hanging on by a thread in the starting rotation falling all the way from his 2010's rookie year status of #2 dog in da yard, to last on the totem pole at #5.

Kawakami is right on his heels, but the youth movement as suggested by Rexis has led me to giving Medlen the nod, this time around.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

A 9-3 Groundout, one of the rarest plays in the great game of baseball. A play only accomplished 7 previous times in the over 180 year history of the game. Somewhere back in the day, Abner Doubleday, preferably while smoking that good opium with a glass of hot tea and a slice of mince meat pie, had good reason for this not to be a routine play. It's embarrasing bro..


Yet, MLB the Show 11, allows for the impossible to become reality on an everyday basis... simply with a little bit of luck, a splash of hard work, and at times questionable coding.. history can be written and broken at any moment.

On a seemingly routine frustration play that we've all done plenty of times, Jason Heyward of the Atlanta Braves became only the 8th player in league history to enter a very exclusive fraternity. The "I threw a ball just for the hell of it to first base, and actually got the put out, 9-3 Ground Out Kappa Alpha fraternity" is pretty hard to get in, because frankly the odds of getting thrown out from rightfield are pretty long odds.. Damn, what a hilariously legendary way to open up the 2012 season I must say boys and girls!

We won't dwell on why he was playing so shallow with no one on base in a tie game, because the play was cool as hell.


ESPN Sunday Night Baseball - 9-3 Ground Out


For the third season in a row the Ted Turner Memoirs kicks off the season with a L. I thought due to the fact that everything seemed to be rolling pretty well in March that we'd break that streak... but then I forgot about Stephen Strasburg. And Stephen Strasburg did what he does, which is throw 100 mile cheese that was darn near impossible to foul off, let alone hit.



Hanson wasn't too bad himself on this opening night game at Ted Turner's Field. However after a back and forth duel between the aces went into 5 scoreless frames. Andruw Jones of all people broke the tie with a two run bomb to left. Virtual Checkmate with Strasburg on the mound.



Uggla would tie the game with a 3 run shot of his own in the 7th. The game would then go into a bit of a lull as both bullpens unloaded reliever after reliever into the game, until finally our pen did what it does best, and choked away all the momentum with an atagonizing solo shot given up, this time on the hand of Eric O'Flaherty.



Oh well, 0-1, yall know the drill, rotation sim and pick up where we left off this time with Jurrjens on the bump. Hopefully it'll be a better result next time out.

[BestServedCold]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

I've actually been thrown out from right field in a (real-life) baseball game.... then I threw the guy that threw me out from right field from right field lol.

btw, I'd love for you to create a player in my coaching dynasty
http://www.operationsports.com/forum...p-signups.html

I'm surprised that no one seems to want to join it, but I guess I overwhelmed them with the application process