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Old 09-15-2009, 05:16 PM   #1
JPhillips
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Newburgh, NY
Book Titles if They Were Written Today

Saw this featured at Andrew Sullivan and thought we could do just as good a job.

Quote:
Book Titles, If They Were Written Today

Then: The Wealth of Nations
Now: Invisible Hands: The Mysterious Market Forces That Control Our Lives and How to Profit from Them

Then: Walden
Now: Camping with Myself: Two Years in American Tuscany

Then: The Theory of the Leisure Class
Now: Buying Out Loud: The Unbelievable Truth About What We Consume and What It Says About Us

Then: The Gospel of Matthew
Now: 40 Days and a Mule: How One Man Quit His Job and Became the Boss

Then: The Prince
Now: The Prince (Foreword by Oprah Winfrey)

Your titles?
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Old 09-15-2009, 05:19 PM   #2
JPhillips
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Then: Hamlet
Now: Melancholy and Me, A Cautionary Tale

Then: Oedipus Rex
Now: I F#$%ed My Mom?
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Old 09-15-2009, 05:20 PM   #3
CamEdwards
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Then: The Communist Manifesto
Now: Hot, Flat, Crowded, and Total Bullshit: How Capitalism Is Destroying The World (foreword by Michael Moore)
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:15 AM   #4
KWhit
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YAY!!! POLITICS!
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:26 AM   #5
albionmoonlight
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Then: Paradise Lost
Now: Angels and Devils: A Couple's Guide to Living a Good Life in a Bad World
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:41 AM   #6
Honolulu Blue
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Then: Animal Farm
Now: March of the Pigs: A Tale About Revolutions, Windmills, and Becoming (Almost) Human
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:42 AM   #7
sterlingice
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KWhit View Post
YAY!!! POLITICS!

Two posts in and thread killed...

SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out!

Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!"
Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"



Last edited by sterlingice : 09-16-2009 at 10:43 AM.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:47 AM   #8
Izulde
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Then: Jane Eyre
Now: The Jane Eyre Story: How A Plain Girl Found Happily Ever After
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:58 AM   #9
JPhillips
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Location: Newburgh, NY
Then: The Art of War
Now: The Art of War: Overcoming Meddlers, Managers and Middlemen to Achieve Success
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Old 09-16-2009, 12:00 PM   #10
CamEdwards
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Location: Burke, VA
Then: Pride and Prejudice

Now: Arrogant Racist Teabaggers in Love

I'm sorry, I know it's political... I just couldn't resist.

Then: Moby Dick
Now: Great White Nope: How Whaling Is Destroying Nature's Most Magnificent Creature

Then: The Jungle
Now: Weinerland: The Hidden Horrors of Our Hot Dog Factories
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Old 09-16-2009, 12:12 PM   #11
gstelmack
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Then: War & Peace
Now: Europe in Flames: Based on actual events!
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Old 09-16-2009, 12:36 PM   #12
AENeuman
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Location: SF
Then: For Whom the Bell Tolls
Now: "Where you at?"

Then: As You Like It
Now: It is What It Is

Uhmmm...how would Cam rename The Stranger?
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Old 09-16-2009, 12:51 PM   #13
Kodos
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Then: Pride and Prejudice
Today: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
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Old 09-16-2009, 12:54 PM   #14
CamEdwards
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AENeuman View Post
Then: For Whom the Bell Tolls
Now: "Where you at?"

Then: As You Like It
Now: It is What It Is

Uhmmm...how would Cam rename The Stranger?

Dial Meh for Murder: How Homicide Helped Me Understand the Benign Indifference of the Universe




What, you were thinking I'd go with a song title from the Cure?
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Old 09-16-2009, 01:56 PM   #15
Izulde
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JPhillips View Post
Then: The Art of War
Now: The Art of War: Overcoming Meddlers, Managers and Middlemen to Achieve Success

Heh. Ironically enough, I'll be delivering a lecture to my sections tomorrow that I'm calling "Bringing Sexy Fighting Back: Sun Tzu's The Art of War, Business, And You"
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Old 09-16-2009, 02:44 PM   #16
boberot
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Paper Lion
Paper Lion, or My Improbable Journey to Detroit's Starting QB Job


Exodus 34: 11-27
10 Can't Fail Tips for Eternal Paradise!!
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:07 PM   #17
QuikSand
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divisiveness aside, Cam is just killing this thread
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:08 PM   #18
QuikSand
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(in a good way, his titles are brilliant)
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:21 PM   #19
flere-imsaho
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Location: Chicagoland
Then: I, Robot
Now: Me, Robot

Then: Leviathan, The Matter, Forme and Power of a Common Wealth Ecclesiasticall and Civil
Now: The Government Wants to Rule your Life, and Why this shouldn't Bother You

Then: Mein Kampf
Now: I'm OK, You're OK, People Not Like Us are Not OK
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:28 PM   #20
flere-imsaho
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Then: Silent Spring
Now: Coverup! How Big Business will Kill Everything in the World!

Then: The Elements of Style
Now: Strunk & White's Guide to Everything Grammar, Sponsored by Random House

Then: The Right Stuff
Now: Adventures in Space, or Your Grandpa Was A Stud
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:31 PM   #21
CamEdwards
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSand View Post
(in a good way, his titles are brilliant)

You crushed me with your first post, and sent my spirits soaring with this one.
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:36 PM   #22
CamEdwards
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flere-imsaho View Post

Then: Mein Kampf
Now: I'm OK, You're OK, People Not Like Us are Not OK

I lol'ed.

Then: Are You There God, It's Me Margaret.
Now: Is Anyone Reading My Tweets? It's Me Margaret.

Then: Then Again, Maybe I Won't
Now: Then Again, Maybe I Shouldn't Have Posted Those Pics on Facebook
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:45 PM   #23
sterlingice
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Location: Back in Houston!
Quote:
Originally Posted by flere-imsaho View Post
Then: The Elements of Style
Now: Strunk & White's Guide to Everything Grammar, Sponsored by Random House



SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out!

Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!"
Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"


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Old 09-16-2009, 03:54 PM   #24
sterlingice
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
Then: One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Now: Chicken Soup for the Russian Peasant's Soul

Then: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Now: Chief and McMurphy's Excellent Adventure!
(ok, maybe not)

SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out!

Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!"
Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"


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Old 09-16-2009, 03:57 PM   #25
JPhillips
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Location: Newburgh, NY
Then: Revelation
Now: The Idiot's Guide to the Apocalypse
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:59 PM   #26
dwardzala
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Then: First Amendment - Freedom of Speech
Now: First Amendment - I Can Share My Opinion as Long as Its Politically Correct
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:02 PM   #27
Ronnie Dobbs2
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Location: Bahston Mass
The First Amendment isn't a book.
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There's no I in Teamocil, at least not where you'd think
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:04 PM   #28
Ronnie Dobbs2
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Location: Bahston Mass
Then: The Idiot, by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Now: My Political Thoughts, by Charlie Sheen
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:25 PM   #29
gstelmack
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Location: Cary, NC
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronnie Dobbs2 View Post
Then: The Idiot, by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Now: My Political Thoughts, by Charlie Sheen

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Old 09-16-2009, 04:50 PM   #30
CamEdwards
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Burke, VA
Then: The Iliad
Now: And The Horse They Rode In: The Courageous and Cunning Heroes of Troy

Then: The Odyssey
Now: 10 Years Gone: Misadventures in the Mediterranean with Witches, Goddesses, and One-Eyed Sheep Eaters.
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Old 09-16-2009, 05:04 PM   #31
JPhillips
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Location: Newburgh, NY
You really do have a talent Cam.
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Old 09-16-2009, 05:05 PM   #32
Jughead Spock
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Location: Lowcountry, SC
This -

Quote:
Then: The Iliad
Now: And The Horse They Rode In: The Courageous and Cunning Heroes of Troy

and this -

Quote:
Then: Moby Dick
Now: Great White Nope: How Whaling Is Destroying Nature's Most Magnificent Creature


are pure f'ing gold.
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Old 09-16-2009, 05:40 PM   #33
DataKing
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Location: Chicago
Then: The Miller's Tale
Now: National Lampoon - The Landlord's Wife
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Diablo III (BattleTag: DataKing#1685)
Allegiances:
Chicago Bears - Detroit Red Wings - Kansas Jayhawks
Awards:
2011 Golden Scribe - Other Sports Category (The Straight(away) and Narrow - A Forza Motorsport 3 Dynasty)
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Old 09-16-2009, 05:46 PM   #34
JPhillips
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Newburgh, NY
Then: The Personal Memoirs of U.S. Grant
Now: There'd be no U.S. without Grant. How a Hard Drinking Hero Saved the Nation

Then: Summa Theologica
Now: Finding God in Everything: Daily Questions for Spiritual Affirmation (Updated to include the Prosperity Gospel!)
__________________
To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers

Last edited by JPhillips : 09-16-2009 at 05:55 PM.
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Old 09-16-2009, 07:25 PM   #35
Groundhog
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Location: Sydney, Australia
Quote:
Originally Posted by flere-imsaho View Post
Then: I, Robot
Now: Me, Robot

I'd have gone with iRobot.
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Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
--Ambrose Bierce
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Old 09-16-2009, 07:38 PM   #36
CamEdwards
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Location: Burke, VA
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPhillips View Post
Then: Summa Theologica
Now: Finding God in Everything: Daily Questions for Spiritual Affirmation (Updated to include the Prosperity Gospel!)

Nice!

And thanks for the kind words... I only wish writing witty updated book titles paid as well as writing witty books.
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Old 09-16-2009, 11:33 PM   #37
Wolfpack
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Location: Raleigh, NC
Then: Little House on the Prairie
Now: Agri-Business Startups in an Era of Hostile Competition

Then: 1984
Now: 1984: An Alternate History Novel

Then: Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire
Now: Goths and Vandals: The End of Society As We Know It
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Old 09-17-2009, 04:53 PM   #38
ColtCrazy
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Location: Midwest
Then: To Kill a Mockingbird
Now: Southern Justice: A Look at American's Race Relations

Then: The Twits
Now: The People with Intellectual Challenges (for the PC crowd)

Then: Lolita
Now: The Joey Buttafucco Story
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:09 PM   #39
flere-imsaho
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Location: Chicagoland
Then: The Oxford English Dictionary
Now: A Collection of Word Lists from Various English Variants, Abridged
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Old 09-17-2009, 10:26 PM   #40
JPhillips
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Location: Newburgh, NY
Then: The Longest Day
Now: Tom Brokaw's The Greatest Day of the Greatest Year of the Greatest Generation
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To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers
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Old 09-17-2009, 10:36 PM   #41
SteveMax58
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Then: A Christmas Carol
Now: Sixth Sense II: All Grown Up
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Old 09-17-2009, 10:45 PM   #42
sovereignstar
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Then: Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Now: Dude, Where's My Raft?
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Old 09-17-2009, 11:11 PM   #43
kcchief19
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Location: Kansas City, MO
Then: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Now: Keep Fucking That Chicken
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Old 09-18-2009, 06:54 AM   #44
Honolulu Blue
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Location: Michigan
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColtCrazy View Post
Then: Lolita
Now: The Joey Buttafucco Story

Alternate version:

Then: Lolita
Now: Please Don't Stand So Close To Me (In Public): That Famous Book By Nabokov
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Old 09-18-2009, 08:36 AM   #45
SteveMax58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kcchief19 View Post
Then: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Now: Keep Fucking That Chicken

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Old 09-18-2009, 12:56 PM   #46
bigmouth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kcchief19 View Post
Then: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Now: Keep Fucking That Chicken


i laughed so hard at this one i almost stop breathing.
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