
Things were just starting to look up for the San Diego Padres. The team won 88 and 89 games in consecutive seasons, and it was a forgone conclusion that the team would break out and make some noise in the playoffs in the 2008 season. Then the season rolled around and things didn't quite go like Padres brass had planned. The team went from a 2007 record of 89-74, just missing out on the postseason, to a game away from being historically bad, going just 63-99. 99 games lost, that's a lot of losing in a 162 game stretch. Fans were beginning to get restless. The team has been around since 1969, and they have never won a World Series title. The team has the ingredients to win, a great slugger in 1B Adrian Gonzalez and an ace in Jake Peavy. But it became clear the fans or the ownership didn't really trust the direction of the team, so it was time to clean house of current management and call the one man who garnered respect in every aspect of San Diego culture.....

Heyoo! Ron Burgundy here. Many of you may know me from my Emmy award winning work as a part of the Channel 4 News Team, but my friends and family know me as something first. And no, I know what your thinking, that isn't handsome devil. Although that would be accurate it's not what I had in mind. What I am talking about is being the first fan of the San Diego Padres. Nobody in San Diego loves or knows the Padres better than Ron Burgundy does, I can promise you that. I've been a Padres fan since long before our German forefathers founded this fantastic city built out of a slice of heaven. I've cheered them through thick and thin, mostly thin, except for those jerseys that looked like they were covered in thick baby excrement. One thing I've never seen as a lifelong Padres fan is my team take home a World Series Championship, and I think it's about time for that to happen. It's clear the current leadership wasn't going to get it done, and that's when something pretty special happened.
I had just had my third date of the night with one of Chanel 4's finest interns, what I like to call a slow Tuesday. I was relaxing in my AquaJet 9000 enjoying a great steak and a glass of scotch when my phone rang out of nowhere. The man on the other end informed me he was with the San Diego Padres, and they were in dire straights. The team was losing the confidence of the community and they were afraid that they'd lose the great city of San Diego forever. That's when they knew they only had option, they must reach out to the King of San Diego, Ron Burgundy. They knew if they wanted the backing of San Diego they needed to look no further than the most trusted man in the history of this town, me. I quickly expressed interest in their deal, and let it be known that if they wanted a winner in this town then I was the man they needed to see. And that's where it began, a lifelong resident of San Diego, Mr. San Diego as I have come to be known took the reigns of my favorite franchise in the history of sport. This is the story of how I, Ron Burgundy turned the San Diego Padres into the greatest baseball team of all-time! Now if you'll excuse me I've got to go get to some important and breaking news....
CANNONBALL!!!
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