WWE 2011 Alternate Universe | EWR

[WeirdViper]

Re: WWE 2011 Alternate Universe | EWR

December 19th 2011
Next PPV: TLC December 25th 2011

AJ Lee vs Sarah Stock.

Match Background: AJ Lee is the reigning WWE Raw Womens champion, and has been since 28 August 2011.

The Match: Stock just WAFFLES AJ Lee with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Stock goes for a splash but AJ Lee puts the knees up. STIFF high kick on Stock by AJ Lee. Stock reverses an irish whip...and AJ Lee runs into the referee! DDT from the top rope by AJ Lee. That looked KILLER. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! AJ Lee misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Hard back suplex on AJ Lee. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Super kick by Sarah Stock. Covers for a quick two count. Tor-NADO DDT from Sarah Stock, AJ Lee got planted! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. AJ Lee avoids a Sarah Stock avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Flying cross body off the top rope! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! AJ Lee gets taken down out of nowhere! Brie Bella comes running down the aisle and into the ring! AJ Lee turns around. Brie Bella spins AJ Lee around. Brie Bella hits the Sitout Facebuster! Brie leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three for Sarah Stock, AJ Lee got pinned. Brie Bella obviously hasn't finished her attack yet! AJ Lee stands up. Brie Bella spins AJ Lee around. Brie Bella hits the Sitout Facebuster! Brie Bella eventually leaves, having caused enough damage.

Match Rating 3.5*

John Cena is in the ring. Dustin Rhodes comes out, and challenges him to a match tonight. The challenge is accepted.

Segment Rating 4*

Tyler Breeze vs Tyson Kidd.

Match Background: This is a continuation of the Hart Dynasty vs Breeze \ Ryder feud.

The Match: Dropkick connects to the butt of the jaw and Breeze goes down. Breeze kicks Tyson Kidd in the gut to reverse the momentum. Tyson Kidd walks into a high dropkick from Tyler Breeze, almost losing several teeth in the process. Tyler Breeze misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! DDT from the top rope by Tyler Breeze. That looked KILLER. Cover, but there's no one to count for Tyler Breeze! Tyson Kidd pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Hard back suplex on Breeze. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Flying reverse elbow by Tyson Kidd. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tiger suplex on Breeze. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Tyler Breeze comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Tyson Kidd takes a NICE hurrancarana from Tyler Breeze. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Breeze charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Tyson Kidd moves in for the kill. Fisherman Neckbreaker!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Tyson Kidd remains in the ring, celebrating the victory.

Match Rating 3.5*

Barrett \ Owens are backstage. They was building up the feud with Lesnar \ CM Punk. I respect you, Booker Man.

Segment Rating 4.5*

John Cena vs Dustin Rhodes.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Cena scoops and slams Dustin Rhodes. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Dustin Rhodes fights out of a grapple. Dustin Rhodes hits some punches. How generic. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Cover, but there's no one to count for Dustin Rhodes! John Cena reverses a hip toss. Fallaway slam by John Cena puts down Dustin Rhodes. Spear by John Cena. Covers for a quick two count. John Cena scores with a big spinebuster. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Dustin Rhodes elbows John Cena in the face to break a hammerlock. Dustin hits a piledriver on John Cena. That used to end matches, you know. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Dustin drops an elbow...but John Cena moves out of the way. John Cena moves in for the kill. Attitude Adjustment! 1....2....3. John Cena goes into the crowd, where he celebrates his victory

Match Rating 4*

Kane is backstage. He was on Hype Central (HYPE CENTRAL!!!) tonight, this time for a match with Jack Swagger. Can you believe that I just marked out for Lance Wright? How many people even remember that guy?

Segment Rating 4*

Jack Swagger vs Kane.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Spear by Kane. Death valley driver by Kane! No one executes that move properly anymore. Death valley driver by Kane! No one executes that move properly anymore. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Bodyslam by Kane. There's a two count on the pin. Kane misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Flying shoulder tackle by Swagger sends Kane CRASHING to the mat. Massive backbreaker on Kane and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Swagger goes for a splash but Kane puts the knees up. Big piledriver on Swagger. Jack Swagger is in trouble. Chokeslam! 1....2....3. Kane slides to the outside and grabs a chair, then climbs back into the ring. Swagger turns around...and gets planted with a huge chair shot to the head! He is left down and out on the canvas.

Match Rating 3*

AJ Lee is in the ring, and she calls out Brie Bella. Brie runs down and hits the ring, and they brawl all the way back into the aisle, and eventually out of sight backstage.

Segment Rating 3.5*

David Hart Smith vs Zack Ryder.

Match Background: This is a continuation of the Hart Dynasty vs Breeze \ Ryder feud.

The Match: David Hart Smith snap suplexes Ryder HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, DH Smith is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Ryder takes a quick lariat. Covers for a quick two count. David Hart Smith misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Ryder slams David Hart Smith. David Hart Smith charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Hooks the leg for a two count. Zack Ryder scores with a standing spinebuster. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Zack Ryder with a spinning neckbreaker on DH Smith. David Hart Smith powers out of a Zack Ryder headlock. Tiger bomb by David Hart Smith, which is nowhere near as cool as a botched Pedigree but gets the job done. Covers for a quick two count. TIGER DRIVER~! '91 nearly crushes the spine of Ryder! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Zack Ryder takes a butterfly suplex from DH Smith. David Hart Smith gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to DH Smith. Ryder flips out of a David Hart Smith bodyslam attempt. BIG clothesline on DH Smith. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Zack Ryder connects and David Hart Smith is down! David Hart Smith grabs Zack Ryder from behind and shoves him into the ropes, then scores with a roll-up...but Ryder rolls through with the move! He used a pull of the tights to get DH Smith over! 1....2...3! The referee was out of position and didn't see it! Zack Ryder goes into the crowd, where he celebrates his victory

Match Rating 4*

Paul Heyman is backstage with CM Punk \ Lesnar. Paul Heyman blasted Barrett \ Owens, continuing their feud with CM Punk \ Lesnar.

Segment Rating 4*

Brock Lesnar and CM Punk vs Wade Barrett and Kevin Owens.

Match Background: Lesnar and Barrett have been feuding for quite some time now. Neither has managed to get an in-ring victory in this feud. CM Punk and Owens have been feuding recently. Owens has yet to get an in-ring victory in this feud. Wade Barrett is the reigning WWE champion, and has been since 28 August 2011. Kevin Owens is the reigning WWE Intercontinental champion, and has been since 30 October 2011.

The Match: BIG clothesline on Lesnar. Owens hits a piledriver on Brock Lesnar. That used to end matches, you know. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Kevin Owens and Wade Barrett. Barrett \ Owens whip Lesnar into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Running knee lift from Wade Barrett. Covers for a quick two count. STIFF~! chop lights up Lesnar who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Lesnar backdrops Wade Barrett out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Brock Lesnar. Brock Lesnar scores with a big spinebuster. Tag to CM Punk. Second rope flying axe handle, Barrett goes down. One day, CM Punk might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Gutwrench into a powerbomb, aka the Doctor Bomb and Barrett hits hard. Barrett ducks a wild right hand. Tag between Wade Barrett and Kevin Owens. Nice piledriver on CM Punk. High Angle DDT by Kevin Owens just SPIKES CM Punk down! Pin, but CM Punk is out just before the three count. CM Punk takes a back suplex. CM Punk pushes out of a Kevin Owens hold. Massive backbreaker on Owens and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Kevin Owens is in trouble. Here it comes - Go To Sleep. 1....2...3, it's finished. I don't think the fight has finished. Lesnar \ CM Punk and Barrett \ Owens have begun brawling again! They wind up brawling all the way down the aisle and out of view.

Match Rating 4*

Show Rating 4*

[WeirdViper]

Re: WWE 2011 Alternate Universe | EWR

December 23rd 2011
Next PPV: TLC December 25th 2011

Rey Mysterio is in the ring. Seth Rollins comes out, and challenges him to a match at TLC: Tables, Ladders and Chairs. The challenge is accepted.

Segment Rating 3.5*

Gail Kim vs Michelle McCool.

Match Background: Gail Kim is the reigning WWE SmackDown Womens champion, and has been since 12 August 2011.

The Match: Spin kick by Gail Kim to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Gail Kim crushes Michelle with a huge legdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Michelle McCool powers out of a Gail Kim headlock. Chop from Michelle on Gail Kim causing the knock down. Michelle suplexes Gail Kim to the canvas and floats over. Covers for a quick two count. Forward suplex from Michelle, but not done very well. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Right hand from Michelle on Gail Kim. Gail Kim comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Gail Kim crushes Michelle with a running senton. There's a two count on the pin. Springboard dropkick from Gail Kim. Nicely done. Pin, but Michelle is out just before the three count. Second rope flying axe handle, Michelle goes down. One day, Gail Kim might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Gail Kim kicks the leg, knocks Michelle down, and goes to work on it. Gail Kim goes for a splash but Michelle puts the knees up. Gail Kim just EATS a swinging neckbreaker slam from Michelle. Sloppy discus punch from Michelle McCool barely connects on Gail Kim. Alicia Fox comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Gail Kim turns around. Alicia Fox spins Gail Kim around. Alicia Fox hits the Fox Kick! Alicia Fox leaves the ring, the damage done! The ref gets into position, administers the three count, and it's over. Michelle McCool pins Gail Kim. Alicia Fox isn't finished with her attack yet! Gail Kim stands up...and walks into a boot to the gut from Alicia Fox. Fox Kick!!! Gail Kim has been put down on the canvas! Alicia Fox shakes her head and raises three fingers instead. Gail Kim gets picked up...and hit with another Fox Kick! Gail Kim is spread-eagled on the canvas. Alicia Fox again raises three fingers. Referees hit the ring, but are too scared to get too close. They can't stop this carnage...Fox Kick, the third one in a row! Alicia Fox eventually leaves the ring, as medics come to attend to Gail Kim, who isn't moving.

Match Raiting 4*

Wyatt Family are backstage. They continued the feud by ripping into Motor City Machine Guns. Hooray for properly booked feuds!

Segment Rating 3.5*

Big Show vs Sheamus.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Bodyslam by Big Show. Big Show hits a piledriver on Sheamus. That used to end matches, you know. Hooks the leg for a two count. Big Show misses a clothesline. Big Show gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Fallaway slam by Sheamus puts down Big Show. There's a two count on the pin. Sheamus scores with a standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Sheamus slams Big Show down and motions to the crowd. Sheamus misses a clothesline. Nice piledriver on Sheamus. Hooks the leg for a two count. Big Show scores with a big spinebuster. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Sheamus charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Big Show ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Sheamus counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Big Show by Sheamus. Remember when that was a legit finish? Powerbomb on Big Show. Sheamus gets a roll-up...and grabs a handful of tights as well! The referee doesn't see it: 1....2...3!! Sheamus goes into the crowd, where he celebrates his victory

Match Rating 3.5*

Stacy Keibler is backstage with Drew McIntyre. Stacy Keibler talked trash about Bobby Lashley, continuing the feud with Drew McIntyre. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will always help build up a rivalry. Well, I guess sticks and stones would as well, but you know what I mean.

Segment Rating 3.5*

Eve Torres vs Layla El.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Eve Torres strikes Layla. Eve hits a quick kick on Layla. Layla walks into a spinning heel kick which almost causes a decapitation! Face crusher from Eve on Layla sets up for an elbowdrop. Layla backdrops Eve Torres out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Layla El. Big kick from Layla staggers Eve but that's about it. Weak bodyslam by Layla. Hooks the leg for a two count. Eve Torres avoids a Layla El avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Eve Torres uses a running dropkick into the corner. That was just...ugh. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flying knee to the face from Eve Torres. For the record it was more of a Rusty Wizard than a Shining one. Pin, but Layla is out just before the three count. Eve goes for a splash but Layla puts the knees up. Uninspired brawling from Layla El. Layla charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Layla walks into a spinning heel kick which almost causes a decapitation! Eve Torres moves in for the kill. Swinging Neckbreaker! 1....2....3. Eve Torres climbs each turnbuckle in turn, working the crowd as she celebrates her victory

Match Rating 3.5*

Alicia Fox is walking backstage when she is spotted by Gail Kim, who attacks. They brawl around the arena for a while, until Gail Kim gets a clear upper hand and sends Alicia Fox into retreat.

Segment Rating 3.5*

Bobby Lashley vs John Morrison.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Rude Awakening neckbreaker on John Morrison by Lashley. Remember when that was a legit finish? Full nelson slam on Morrison. Hooks the leg for a two count. Morrison blocks a kick from Bobby Lashley. Morrison slams Bobby Lashley. Lashley takes a flying neckbreaker from John Morrison. Hooks the leg for a two count. DDT from the top rope by John Morrison. That looked KILLER. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Flying elbow from John Morrison connects. Lashley blocks a kick from John Morrison. Morrison walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. There's a two count on the pin. Death valley driver by Bobby Lashley! No one executes that move properly anymore. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on John Morrison by Lashley. Remember when that was a legit finish? Lashley scoops and slams John Morrison. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Bobby Lashley misses a clothesline. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Vicious kick to the teeth from John Morrison. Drew McIntyre comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Bobby Lashley turns around. Drew McIntyre spins Lashley around. Drew McIntyre hits the Future Shock! McIntyre leaves the ring, the damage done! The ref gets into position, administers the three count, and it's over. John Morrison pins Lashley. Drew McIntyre pushes the referee aside, then continues to assault Lashley! Right hands rain down on Bobby Lashley, pounding him into the canvas. Satisfied with his work, Drew McIntyre turns and leaves the ring, the damage done.

Match Rating 3.5*

Motor City Machine Guns are backstage. They talked trash about Wyatt Family, continuing their feud. Now, THIS was a good, solid way of hyping it up.

Segment Rating 3.5*

Motor City Machine Guns vs Wyatt Family.

Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. Motor City Machine Guns are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Motor City Machine Guns and Wyatt Family have been feuding for quite some time now. This match is for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team titles. Wyatt Family have been WWE SmackDown Tag Team champions since 25 November 2011.

The Match: Alex Shelley hits a rolling kick on Bo. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his ****ty execution of it. Tiger suplex on Wyatt. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, dammit. Chris Sabin scoops up Bo. Shelley bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Table shot! Chris Sabin misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Alex Shelley charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Face jam onto the table. Tor-NADO DDT from Bo Rotundo, Sabin got planted! STIFF~! chop lights up Shelley who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Alex Shelley is in big trouble...Double Uranage!! 1....2....3! Wyatt Family climb opposite turnbuckles, working the crowd as they celebrate their victory.

Match Rating 4*

Seth Rollins and Rey Mysterio are in the ring on opposite sides of a table, about to sign a contract to face each other in an upcoming match. Seth Rollins signs it. Mysterio also signs it, but is immediately attacked by Rollins, who drives the table into his ribs. Rey Mysterio is in trouble. Avada Kedavra! Seth Rollins walks off, having won this battle.

Segment Rating 3.5*

Show Rating 3.5*

[WeirdViper]

Re: WWE 2011 Alternate Universe | EWR

PREVIEW

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
BROCK LESNAR W/PAUL HEYMAN VS WADE BARRETT(c)

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
SETH ROLLINS VS REY MYSTERIO(c)

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
CM PUNK W/PAUL HEYMAN VS KEVIN OWENS(c)

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
BOBBY LASHLEY VS DREW MCINTYRE(c) W/STACY KEIBLER

RAW WOMENS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
BRIE BELLA VS AJ LEE(c)

SMACKDOWN WOMENS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
ALICA FOX VS GAIL KIM(c)

RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
TYLER BREEZE/ZACK RYDER VS HART DYNASTY(c)

SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS VS MIZ & MORISSON VS THE YOUNG BUCKS VS THE WYATT FAMILY(c)

[WeirdViper]

Re: WWE 2011 Alternate Universe | EWR

December 25th 2011

PRE SHOW

Christian vs Daniel Bryan vs Dolph Ziggler vs Shelton Benjamin.

Match Background: This will be a four corners bout.

The Match: Christian with a spinning neckbreaker on Ziggler. Ziggler gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Covers for a quick two count. Massive backbreaker on Ziggler and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Ziggler pushes out of a Christian hold. Dolph Ziggler snap suplexes Christian HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Ziggler is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! There's a two count on the pin. Christian takes a quick lariat. Hooks the leg for a two count. Christian blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Christian gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Christian. Tag to Daniel Bryan. Hard back suplex on Ziggler. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Super kick by Daniel Bryan. Ziggler takes a flying neckbreaker from Daniel Bryan. DDT from the top rope by Daniel Bryan. That looked KILLER. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Bryan tags out to Shelton Benjamin. Ziggler takes a flying neckbreaker from Shelton Benjamin. Ziggler walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Covers for a quick two count. Second rope flying axe handle, Ziggler goes down. One day, Shelton might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. There's a two count on the pin. Flying cross body off the top rope! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Tag between Dolph Ziggler and Christian. Big piledriver on Shelton. BIG clothesline on Shelton. Christian connects with rights and lefts and Shelton Benjamin is down! Shelton Benjamin reverses a hip toss. Tor-NADO DDT from Shelton Benjamin, Christian got planted! Shelton Benjamin moves in for the kill. Pay Dirt!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!!

Match Rating 3.5*

MAIN CARD

Motor City Machine Guns vs Miz and Morrison vs The Young Bucks vs Wyatt Family.

Match Background: This will be a TLC bout. Motor City Machine Guns are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team titles. Wyatt Family have been WWE SmackDown Tag Team champions since 25 November 2011.

The Match: Spin kick by Bo Rotundo to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Lightning kick by Bo on Morrison. John Morrison avoids a Bo Rotundo avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Big piledriver on Matt. Matt Jackson avoids a Bray Wyatt avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Matt hits a dropkick on Bray Wyatt and gets right back up. Chris Sabin blasts Nick with a slingshot into the ladder. Power drive elbow by Chris Sabin. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. John Morrison connects with a back heel kick on Nick and gets back up quickly. Morrison hits a dropkick on Nick Jackson and gets right back up. Nick gets splashed through a table by John Morrison. Flying cross body off the top rope! Alex Shelley dropkicks Bo after leaping off an upturned shopping cart! Matt is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. The Miz slams Matt Jackson onto the ladder. Nick Jackson dives off the top rope, moonsaulting Chris Sabin through it. DDT from the top rope by Nick Jackson. That looked KILLER! Bo Rotundo hits a dropkick off the table. Miz and Morrison whip Matt into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Spear! Nick is down! Face-first suplex onto the ladder from Bo! Bo Rotundo and Bray Wyatt climb the ladder and grab the prize for the win.

Match Rating 4*

Brie Bella vs AJ Lee.

Match Background: This will be a ladder bout. AJ Lee and Brie have been feuding recently. Neither has managed to get an in-ring victory in this feud. This match is for the WWE Raw Womens title. AJ Lee has been WWE Raw Womens champion since 28 August 2011.

The Match: Dropkick connects to the butt of the jaw and Brie goes down. Dropkick into the ladder by AJ Lee, sending it into Brie! THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Brie takes a flying neckbreaker from AJ Lee. Brie ducks a wild right hand. Dropkick into the ladder by Brie, sending it into AJ Lee! Badly executed second rope splash by Brie convinces me that I can do better. AJ Lee powers out of a headlock. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Brie is down! Brie walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Brie blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Some chops from Brie, are pretty much no sold as AJ Lee doesn't seem to be any worse for wear. AJ Lee flips out of a Brie Bella bodyslam attempt. Brie takes a flying neckbreaker from AJ Lee. AJ Lee has Brie Bella down on the canvas. Here it comes...Octopus! Brie Bella is almost unconscious with pain! AJ Lee goes up ladder and grabs the prize for the win. AJ Lee goes into the crowd, where she celebrates her victory

Match Rating 3.5*

CM Punk vs Kevin Owens.

Match Background: This will be a ladder bout. CM Punk and Owens have been feuding recently. Owens has yet to get an in-ring victory in this feud. This match is for the WWE Intercontinental title. Kevin Owens has been WWE Intercontinental champion since 30 October 2011.

The Match: Ladder-shot by CM Punk. CM Punk hits a piledriver on Kevin Owens. That used to end matches, you know. Owens ducks a wild right hand. Kevin Owens hits some punches. How generic. Kevin Owens with a spinning neckbreaker on CM Punk. CM Punk gets a face-full of ladder. Flying shoulder tackle by Owens sends CM Punk CRASHING to the mat. CM Punk fights out of a grapple. CM Punk hits a piledriver on Kevin Owens. That used to end matches, you know. Delayed BRAINBUSTAH~! by CM Punk who held onto that one for ages. Vertical suplex by CM Punk. Whip into the ladder by CM Punk. Owens reverses a waistlock. BAAACK Body drop by CM Punk gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Brutal sit out powerbomb on CM Punk! CM Punk begins to climb the ladder. Kevin Nash comes out of the crowd and slides into the ring....and shoves the ladder! CM Punk is sent crashing hard to the canvas! Kevin Owens goes up ladder and grabs the prize for the win. Owens and Nash put the boots to CM Punk, stomping away on him.

Match Rating 4.5*

Bobby Lashley vs Drew McIntyre.

Match Background: This will be a tables bout. This is a continuation of the Lashley vs McIntyre feud. McIntyre has yet to get an in-ring victory in this feud. This match is for the WWE United States title. Drew McIntyre has been WWE United States champion since 14 October 2011.

The Match: Bobby Lashley pulls McIntyre onto the table for a powerbomb, but he uses a backdrop to get out of the predicament. Spear by Bobby Lashley. Lashley charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. McIntyre hits a right hand. Fallaway slam by Drew McIntyre puts down Bobby Lashley. Drew McIntyre goes to slam Lashley through a table, but he manages to escape. Bodyslam by McIntyre. McIntyre charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Spinebuster by Bobby Lashley. Bobby Lashley scores with a standing spinebuster. Running knee lift from Bobby Lashley. Bobby Lashley goes to suplex McIntyre through a table, but he slips out the backdoor. Drew McIntyre once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Flying shoulder tackle by McIntyre sends Lashley CRASHING to the mat. High Angle DDT by Drew McIntyre just SPIKES Bobby Lashley down! Stacy Keibler is at ringside! Lashley wastes valuable time by yelling at Stacy! Drew McIntyre takes advantage of the distraction and nails Lashley from behind! Bobby Lashley is in trouble. Here it comes - Future Shock. McIntyre climbs onto the table with Bobby Lashley and uses a powerslam to break the table for the win! Drew McIntyre remains in the ring, celebrating the victory.

Match Rating 3.5*

Tyler Breeze and Zack Ryder vs Hart Dynasty.

Match Background: This will be a tables bout. Hart Dynasty are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Hart Dynasty and Breeze \ Ryder have been feuding for quite some time now. This match is for the WWE Raw Tag Team titles. Hart Dynasty have been WWE Raw Tag Team champions since 14 November 2011.

The Match: Standing leg lariat by Tyson Kidd on Ryder. Tyler Breeze takes a butterfly suplex from DH Smith. Tyson Kidd pulls Ryder onto the table for a piledriver, but he uses a backdrop to survive. David Hart Smith misses a clothesline. Spin kick by Tyler Breeze to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Breeze \ Ryder whip Tyson Kidd into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Full nelson slam on DH Smith. Zack Ryder goes to suplex DH Smith through a table, but he slips out the backdoor. Tyson Kidd counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Ryder takes a quick lariat. Tyson Kidd throws Tyler Breeze onto the table, then climbs to the top rope...and hits a flying splash to break the table and get the win. Hart Dynasty climb opposite turnbuckles, working the crowd as they celebrate their victory.

Match Rating 4*

Alicia Fox vs Gail Kim.

Match Background: Alicia Fox and Gail Kim have been feuding for quite some time now. Gail Kim has yet to get an in-ring victory in this feud. This match is for the WWE SmackDown Womens title. Gail Kim has been WWE SmackDown Womens champion since 12 August 2011.

The Match: Alicia Fox hits an arm drag on Gail Kim, follows it up with about 3 more and locks in an armbar for good measure. Suplex into a front slam from Alicia Fox, but the execution was CRAPTASTIC~!. There's a two count on the pin. Gail Kim comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Dropkick connects to the butt of the jaw and Alicia Fox goes down. Spin kick by Gail Kim to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. There's a two count on the pin. Tiger suplex on Alicia Fox. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Pin, but Alicia Fox is out just before the three count. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Gail Kim goes for a splash but Alicia Fox puts the knees up. Alicia Fox scores with a poor face jam on Gail Kim. Covers for a quick two count. Alicia Fox uses something that LOOKS like a reverse suplex. The judges say yes, but barely. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Alicia Fox hits a dropkick on Gail Kim. Actually, it barely touched! Alicia Fox hits a back kick, doubling Gail Kimover. Alicia Fox misses a clothesline. Gail Kim hits a dropkick on Alicia Fox and gets right back up. Power drive elbow by Gail Kim. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Alicia Fox is in trouble. Eat Defeat!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Gail Kim remains in the ring, celebrating the victory.

Match Rating 4*

Seth Rollins vs Rey Mysterio.

Match Background: This will be a tables bout. Rollins and Mysterio have been feuding recently. Neither has managed to get an in-ring victory in this feud. This match is for the World Heavyweight title. Rey Mysterio has been World Heavyweight champion since 25 September 2011.

The Match: Rey Mysterio kicks the leg, knocks Rollins down, and goes to work on it. Rey Mysterio pulls Rollins onto the table for a piledriver, but he uses a backdrop to survive. Mysterio uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Rey Mysterio hits a rolling kick on Rollins. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his ****ty execution of it. Rollins powers out of a headlock. Seth Rollins goes to suplex Mysterio through a table, but he slips out the backdoor. Lightning kick by Rollins on Mysterio. Mysterio blocks a punch. Mysterio crushes Rollins with a huge legdrop. Power drive elbow by Rey Mysterio. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Rollins reverses a waistlock. STIFF high kick on Mysterio by Seth Rollins. Mysterio flips out of a Seth Rollins bodyslam attempt. Mysterio uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Mysterio throws Seth Rollins onto the table, climbs to the top rope...and uses a flying elbow drop to collapse the table and pick up a victory. Rey Mysterio is still in the ring celebrating. Seth Rollins pushes the referee away. Seth Rollins spins Mysterio around. Seth Rollins hits the Avada Kedavra!

Match Rating 4*

Brock Lesnar vs Wade Barrett.

Match Background: This will be a ladder bout. Lesnar and Barrett have been feuding for quite some time now. Neither has managed to get an in-ring victory in this feud. This match is for the WWE title. Wade Barrett has been WWE champion since 28 August 2011.

The Match: Lesnar takes a headbutt from Wade Barrett. Wade Barrett throws the ladder into Lesnar. Fallaway slam by Wade Barrett puts down Brock Lesnar. BAAACK Body drop by Lesnar gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Brock Lesnar comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Barrett gets slammed hard onto the ladder. Massive backbreaker on Barrett and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Barrett reverses a waistlock. Full nelson slam on Lesnar. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Lesnar! Wade Barrett gets taken down out of nowhere! STIFF~! chop lights up Barrett who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Wade Barrett comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Barrett slams Brock Lesnar down and motions to the crowd. Triple H comes running down the aisle with a chair! Barrett and Brock Lesnar continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. Triple H slides in and blasts Brock Lesnar with a chair to the head! HHH climbs out of the ring, the damage done! Brock Lesnar is in trouble. Wasteland!!! That shook the ring. Wade Barrett climbs the ladder and grabs the prize for the win. Barrett and HHH put the boots to Brock Lesnar, stomping away on him.

Match Rating 4.5*

Show Rating 4*

[WeirdViper]

Re: WWE 2011 Alternate Universe | EWR

December 26th 2011
Next PPV Royal Rumble January 29th 2012

AJ Lee vs Sarah Stock.

Match Background: AJ Lee is the reigning WWE Raw Womens champion, and has been since 28 August 2011.

The Match: AJ Lee uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Flying cross body off the top rope! Covers for a quick two count. Stock ducks a wild right hand. Standing leg lariat by Sarah Stock on AJ Lee. Flying elbow from Sarah Stock connects. Hooks the leg for a two count. Diamond Dust from Sarah Stock and AJ Lee is out! Pin, but AJ Lee is out just before the three count. Stock uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! AJ Lee kicks Sarah Stock in the gut to reverse the momentum. Flying reverse elbow by AJ Lee. There's a two count on the pin. DDT from the top rope by AJ Lee. That looked KILLER. Pin, but Stock is out just before the three count. Spin kick by AJ Lee to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Standing leg lariat by AJ Lee on Stock. Sarah Stock pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Stock uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! AJ Lee walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Brie Bella comes running down the aisle with a chair! Stock whips AJ Lee into the ropes. Brie jumps onto the apron with the chair! Collision between Brie, AJ Lee, and the chair! AJ Lee staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! Brie Bella has a chair. AJ Lee stands up...and gets floored by a shot to the head. Another two shots smack down across her back, leaving her unmoving on the canvas. Brie sets the chair up, then picks up AJ Lee. She gets whipped into the ropes...and then drop toe holded, sending her face first into the chair! Brie Bella has left AJ Lee down and bloodied in the ring after a brutal assault!

Match Rating 3.5*

Wade Barrett is walking backstage when he is spotted by Brock Lesnar, who attacks. They brawl around the arena for a while, until Brock Lesnar gets a clear upper hand and sends Barrett into retreat.

Segment Rating 4*

Cody Rhodes vs Derrick Bateman.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Derrick Bateman snap suplexes Rhodes. Bateman drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Rhodes. A Gut buster connects on Rhodes and hits hard. Big dropkick by Derrick Bateman, who got a ton of air on the move. Derrick Bateman misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Derrick Bateman charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Spear by Cody Rhodes. Covers for a quick two count. Bateman powers out of a headlock. Reverse DDT on Rhodes. Covers for a quick two count. TIGER DRIVER~! '91 nearly crushes the spine of Rhodes! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Rhodes counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Cody Rhodes ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Bateman reverses a Cody Rhodes hammerlock. A Gut buster connects on Rhodes and hits hard. Cody Rhodes is in trouble. Man-Tastic!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Derrick Bateman goes into the crowd, where he celebrates his victory

Match Rating 3.5*

Kelly Kelly is backstage. She was on Hype Central (HYPE CENTRAL!!!) tonight, this time for a match with Melina. Can you believe that I just marked out for Lance Wright? How many people even remember that guy?

Segment Rating 3.5*

Kelly Kelly vs Melina.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Melina gets hip tossed by Kelly. Kelly snapmares Melina and goes for the DREADED chinlock. Melina takes a hard, stinging chop from Kelly. One word: Ow. Kelly hits a dropkick on Melina. Actually, it barely touched! Melina counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Face crusher from Melina on Kelly sets up for an elbowdrop. Back heel kick from Melina on Kelly but it misses by miles. Hooks the leg for a two count. Kelly Kelly fights out of a grapple. Kelly Kelly uses a running dropkick into the corner. That was just...ugh. Hooks the leg for a two count. Swan dive headbutt from Kelly but without much elevation on the move. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Kelly Kelly misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Kelly Kelly gets hip tossed by Melina. Kelly Kelly powers out of a Melina headlock. Flying elbow from Kelly Kelly, grazing the target slightly. Melina is in trouble. K2!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Kelly Kelly goes into the crowd, where she celebrates her victory

Match Rating 3.5*

Hart Dynasty are in the ring. Out onto the stage comes Michael McGillicutty, and he challenges them to a match against him and his mystery partner. They accept. He announces his mystery partner, who is Jack Swagger. Out comes Swagger, and the two teams stare each other down.

Segment Rating 3.5*

Hart Dynasty vs Michael McGillicutty and Jack Swagger.

Match Background: Hart Dynasty are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Mike McG \ Swagger and Hart Dynasty are currently feuding. Neither team holds an in-ring victory since the feud started. Hart Dynasty are the reigning WWE Raw Tag Team champions, and have been since 14 November 2011.

The Match: Michael McGillicutty takes a butterfly suplex from DH Smith. BRAINBUSTAH~! by David Hart Smith! There's a two count on the pin. DH Smith tags out to Tyson Kidd. Hart Dynasty hook up Mike McG, then hit a double suplex. Hard back suplex on Mike McG. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Covers for a quick two count. Tyson Kidd hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Tyson Kidd walks into a drop toe hold. Northern Lights Bomb very nearly crushes the spine of Tyson Kidd! Tag between Michael McGillicutty and Jack Swagger. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Tyson Kidd by Swagger. Remember when that was a legit finish? Gutwrench into a powerbomb, aka the Doctor Bomb and Tyson Kidd hits hard. Tyson Kidd kicks Jack Swagger in the gut to reverse the momentum. Tyson Kidd tags out to David Hart Smith. Doctor Bomb connects and Swagger landed hard. Swagger gets hit with SPLASH MOUNTAIN~! out of the corner! Pin, but Swagger is out just before the three count. David Hart Smith gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to DH Smith. Swagger counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! DH Smith takes a quick lariat. David Hart Smith slams Swagger, who rolls onto his stomach. What is Jack Swagger doing? David Hart Smith picks him up and signals for a powerbomb. He raises Swagger up...but then falls backward, getting crushed by his opponent in the process! Jack Swagger is on top! 1....2....3! Looking at the replay, it appears that Swagger had taken a chain out of his tights and wrapped it around his fist! David Hart Smith must have been punched with that chain while in mid-powerbomb! What a cheap shot! Mike McG \ Swagger climb opposite turnbuckles, working the crowd as they celebrate their victory.

Match Rating 4*

Kevin Owens is walking backstage when he is spotted by CM Punk, who attacks. They brawl around the arena for a while, until CM Punk gets a clear upper hand and sends Owens into retreat.

Segment Rating 3.5*

Kane vs John Cena.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Kane is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. John Cena gets taken down out of nowhere! Kane hits a right hand. Kane misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! Kane scores with a standing spinebuster. Cover, but there's no one to count for Kane! Cena counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Cena slams Kane down and motions to the crowd. Spinebuster by John Cena. There's a two count on the pin. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by John Cena just KILLS Kane! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Kane kicks John Cena in the gut to reverse the momentum. Big piledriver on Cena. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! John Cena comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Kane can barely stand. Attitude Adjustment!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! John Cena goes into the crowd, where he celebrates his victory

Match Rating 4*

Brie Bella is walking backstage when AJ Lee comes from behind and attacks her with a chair. AJ Lee walks off after hitting a few more chair shots, leaving Brie down on the floor.

Segment Rating 3*

Brock Lesnar and Christopher Daniels vs Kevin Owens and Wade Barrett.

Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. Lesnar and Barrett have been feuding for quite some time now. So far, Lesnar hasn't managed to get a pin or submission over Barrett since the feud started. Wade Barrett is the reigning WWE champion, and has been since 28 August 2011. Kevin Owens is the reigning WWE Intercontinental champion, and has been since 30 October 2011.

The Match: Wade Barrett with a spinning neckbreaker on Daniels. Death valley driver by Kevin Owens! No one executes that move properly anymore. Owens \ Barrett whip Daniels into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Barrett slams Brock Lesnar onto the table. Daniels ducks a wild right hand. Running knee lift from Brock Lesnar. Lesnar rams Barrett into a table. DDT from the top rope by Christopher Daniels. That looked KILLER. Lesnar slams Wade Barrett. Wade Barrett is in trouble. F5! 1....2....3. Lesnar \ Daniels climb opposite turnbuckles, working the crowd as they celebrate their victory.

Match Rating 4*

Show Rating 3.5*