At what point is cheating on your spouse okay?

[mjb2124]

Re: At what point is cheating on your spouse okay?

Exactly. It seems like the blame is getting placed on her for losing her sex drive. Would this guy cheat if his wife was in an accident and paralyzed?

Bingo. What if HE was permanently disabled from a car accident? Should she just get up and have sex with someone because he can't? I'm sure he wouldn't want that.

Again, he should get out or live with it. Sex isn't the only thing that defines a relationship/marriage. He should love her and accept her for who she is now. That is why they supposedly got married in the first place....not only for the sex.

[mjb2124]

Re: At what point is cheating on your spouse okay?

I am really surprised by the responses here. I'm seeing a LOT of guys who've married their first girlfriend and not seen much of life. This is not 'Chasing Amy'!

I think you're sorely mistaken. I think many might have higher morals and an outlook on life beyond sex.

[Shaver]

Re: At what point is cheating on your spouse okay?

Well, you keep banging on morals and religion, but if your friend in a religious man... then this decision is between him and GOD... and not for anyone else to judge.

[Stu]

Re: At what point is cheating on your spouse okay?

And again...divorce is NOT an option...they have two youngs kids who they 100% are not letting grow up without both parents.

So let me get this straight. He's thinking about the kids when choosing not to get divorced but he doesn't think cheating will negatively effect his kids? What happens when the wife finds out and their relationship goes downhill forcing the kids to live in a hostile environment?

[Brandwin]

Re: At what point is cheating on your spouse okay?

I have yet to read this thread, but never is the answer. Not happy and it's not going to work, seperate.

[Graphik]

Re: At what point is cheating on your spouse okay?

So let me get this straight. He's thinking about the kids when choosing not to get divorced but he doesn't think cheating will negatively effect his kids? What happens when the wife finds out and their relationship goes downhill forcing the kids to live in a hostile environment?

One thing I have yet to see mentioned is the age of the kids. If he's past 40 then I'm willing to bet his kids are heading to if not in their teens. I'm sure they'd be willing to understand a divorce if they sat down and talk with them. They aren't exactly infants and wont understand. The best bet would be to seperate but at the same time, maybe he cant justify a seperation based off sex alone.

[ehh]

Re: At what point is cheating on your spouse okay?

It's very interesting how some of the people who say NEVER EVER are people who are...

A) Still teenagers
B) Not married
C) Never been in a serious relationship.

Now I'm 24, have a serious GF in a long distance relationship. She lives an hour away in NY so I usually see her once or sometimes twice a week. I have never cheated on her and certainly don't plan on it.

But there's no way anyone under 35 can fathom what the original poster is talking about. 20+ years of marriage, hell some people in this thread haven't even been on this planet for 20 years let alone married for 20!! And I'm sure some of you are still virgins as well. How do you know how you'd react to that? You can put yourself 20 years into the future? Having sex with the same person for 20 years, you're going to have lust for other people - it's just natural.

Now I'm not saying it's okay to act on the urges because I fully believe in commitment and I think cheating on someone is one of the worst things you can do, but to say one someone is a terrible human being for having lust towards another person outside of their SO is idiotic.

As for the original topic, it's an unfortunate situation that his wife is on meds that took away her sex drive. But that's part of marriage, "til death do us part." Through thick and thin, sickness and health. He should stay with her and be faithful to her absolutely.

Also, does he communicate well with her? Does he discuss their sex life and express his urge to have sex more frequently? One of the most important things I learned in my first serious relationship 5-6 years ago is that communication is extremely key, including your sex life. Me and my current GF talk about sex all the time and it certainly strengthened our relationship. We talked about what each other likes, fantasies, etc. We've tried just about everything (she loves watching porn together!) and it definitely brings us closer.

[Shaver]

Re: At what point is cheating on your spouse okay?

Where did anyone say he was a bad person for having lust?

I'm going to lock this thread because some posters are using it as an excuse to call other posters virgins while making non-sensical statements.

Thanks drive thru.