My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

[RAZRr1275]

Re: Timmay = same guy who said stealing was fine

You think thats good a got a better one. Before my wifes grandmother passed, we used to visit her home every few months. She lived about 5 hours away in the panhandle of West Virginia. Well my wife always brought a gym bag with a change of clothes and toiletries. She would always place it in the upstairs shower stall which was never used, only that toilet in that bathroom was. So on the last day we were there my wife couldnt find her one last clean bra. She rooted around in her gym bag and kept muttering under her breath "I know i packed 3 bras" Finally she walked in her grandma's room and there was the bra hangin from the bedpost which was funny enough. So my wife figures "huh i guess she though that the bra was hers". As my wife is putting the bra on i noticed something, there was a brown smear on one of the cups. Here her grandma took a crap and used my wifes bra as toilet paper to wipe her *** with? Needless to say that bra went in the trash lol.

That's just wrong.

[the_future420]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

So did you show her your fistofrage?

[MC Fatigue]

Re: Timmay = same guy who said stealing was fine

Timmay replied in a thread not too long ago, about how it was justifiable to steal from others. It was in the thread about the guy who shot two burglars while talking on the phone with 911.

He didn't think the burglars were in the wrong.

I didn't say that at all. But way to twist my words around

Also - the two scenarios are completely different and have nothing to do with each other. But way to bring a conversation from another, completely unrelated thread into this one... You're on fire... Twisting people's words around, AND bringing arguments into different threads! 2 for 2. Got anything else for the hat trick?

[Aggies7]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

Fistofrage, at least this thread has went down the toilet.

[Double Eights]

Re: Timmay = same guy who said stealing was fine

I didn't say that at all. But way to twist my words around

Also - the two scenarios are completely different and have nothing to do with each other. But way to bring a conversation from another, completely unrelated thread into this one... You're on fire... Twisting people's words around, AND bringing arguments into different threads! 2 for 2. Got anything else for the hat trick?

I was bringing your thought process into question. According to you,

It's okay to steal from people (not companies, but people), but it's wrong to say your sister-in-law is fat... on the internet.

[MC Fatigue]

Re: Timmay = same guy who said stealing was fine

I was bringing your thought process into question. According to you,

It's okay to steal from people (not companies, but people), but it's wrong to say your sister-in-law is fat... on the internet.

You're clearly not getting it, and I'm not even going to bother.

[VTPack919]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

Reminds me of the time I was working electronics at K-mart as a summer job. I am sitting at the counter, minding my own business, trying to pass the time until college football came out. When I see the cutest little 2 or three year old come walking in with his father. I lose track of them and check someone out. After the transaction I spot the father looking down the back of the kid's shorts, I think nothing of it. Then I notice it. A nice little **** patty laying there on the ground, all mustard-brown in color. I don't panic, I remain calm. I went over to the garden center where my brother was working and asked him to tell me what he saw over by the fireworks. He came back and informed me that some had indeed shat in the store. As an aside, I must say, the kid picked the right store to **** in..... it was K-mart. If I was working at Target I might have been offended, but everyone who has worked at K-mart knows you have to have a certain mindset. "Okay, I am going to work at K-mart today, I better prepare myself mentally for some off the wall stuff."

As I get back to my counter I call the manager, I'm not getting paid enough and the job sucked enough already for me to get down and clean it; so she said to put a cart over it and that she would send someone to do it. Before I could get over there, a woman in some nice white sandles steps in it. She slides about a yard all on one foot, miraculously not falling over. I expected her to turn around and freak out when she found out what she stepped in, but she just looked back, shrugged and kept going. This woman must not have been a stranger to stepping in ****, she took it all in stride (literally).

When I bring the cart over I noticed that this nice half pound crap patty is not the only one, but there are a series of smaller ones leading all the way up into the bathroom door. I follow them and decide to take a peek inside as my curiosity was at an all time K-mart high. I took a deep breath and swung open the door. In retrospect, this is where I wish I had just thrown down the gun and badge and left.

It looked like I had found the holy grail of fecal disasters. My mind swirled as I tried to piece together what could have caused this to happen, like a detective at the scene of the murder. I could not come to a conclusion. Was this kid a dookie filled grenade? Was he still alive? Is he still in here somewhere? Could this be a terrorist attack? I had so many questions and no answers were there to be found. The discarded diaper lay strewn in the corner. It stood no chance. A mere finger in the dike holding back an ocean of diarrhea.

There was not one part of this bathroom that was not effected. The sink, mirror, stall, toilet, generic bathroom portrait of a random landscape, everything was covered in this henious up-heaval of intestinal bile. I almost collapsed, as I am sure the air was more methane than oxygen at this point. I had to get out. It was divine intervention that the only thing that survived the holocaust of crap was the door handle. I got out of there and never used that bathroom again. I was scarred. No amount of mister clean or hydrochloric acid could ever rid that bathroom of it's horrible past.

I still, to this day, can not think of a scenario in which this could have taken place. I hope the kid was alright becuase three laxitives, a plate of deviled egss, and a sack of taco bell couldn't cause the sheer amount of product this kid put all over the place. The amount of coverage was also amazing. It was as if the father stood in the center of the bathroom and spun 360 degress holding his kid like a flamethrower covering the bathroom until he saw fit.

Worst day of my life.

[TheGamingChef]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

Reminds me of the time I was working electronics at K-mart as a summer job. I am sitting at the counter, minding my own business, trying to pass the time until college football came out. When I see the cutest little 2 or three year old come walking in with his father. I lose track of them and check someone out. After the transaction i spot the father looking down the back of the kids shorts, I think nothing of it. Then I notice it. A nice little **** patty laying there on the grown, all mustard-brown in color. I don't panic, I remain calm. I went over to the garden where my brother was working and asked him to tell me what he saw over by the fireworks. He came back and informed me that some had indeed shat in the store. As an aside, I must say, the kid picked the right store to **** in, it was K-mart. If I was working at Target I might have been offended, but everyone who has worked at K-mart knows you have to have a certain mindset. "Okay, I am going to work at K-mart today, I better prepare myself mentally for some off the wall stuff."

As I get back to my counter I call the manager, I'm not getting paid enough and the job sucked enough already so she said to put a cart over it and that she would send someone to do it. Before I could get over there, a woman in some nice white sandles steps in it. She slides about a yard all on one foot, miraculously not falling over. I expected her to turn around and freak out when she found out what she stepped in, but she just looked back, shrugged and kept going. This woman must not have been a stranger to stepping in ****, she took it all in stride.

When I bring the cart over I notices that this niced half pound crap patty is not the only one, but there are a series of smaller ones all the way up into the bathroom door. I follow them and decide to take a peek inside as my curiosity was at an all time K-mart high. I took a deep breath and swung open the door. In retrospect, this is where I wish I had just thrown down the name badge and left.

It looked like I had found the holy grail of fecal disasters. My mind swirled as I tried to peice together what could have caused this to happen, like a detective at the scene of the murder. I could not come to a conclusion. Was this kid a dookie filled grenade? Was he still alive? Is he still in here somewhere? Could this be a terrorist attack? I had so many questions and no answer were there to be found. The discarded diaper lay strewn in the corner. It stood no chance. A mere finger in the dike holding back and ocean of diarrhea.

The was not one part of this bathroom that was not effected. The sink, mirror, stall, toilet, a-typical bathroom portrait of a random landscape, everything was covered in this henious up-heaval of intestinal bile. I almost collapsed as I am sure the are was more methane at this point than oxygen. I had to get out. It was divine intervention that the only thing that survived the Hollocaust of crap was the door handle. I got out of there and never used that bathroom again. I was scarred. No amount of mister clean or hydrochloric acid could ever rid that bathroom of it's horrible past.

I still to this day can not think of a scenario in which this could have taken place. I hope the kid was alright becuase three laxitives, a plate of deviled egss, and a sack of taco bell couldn't cause the sheer amount of product this kid put all over the place. The amount of coverage was also amazing. It was as if the father stood in the center of the bathroom and spun 360 degress holding his kid like a flamethrower covering the bathroom until he saw fit.

Worst day of my life.

Lmao!

[Sandman42]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

The amount of coverage was also amazing. It was as if the father stood in the center of the bathroom and spun 360 degress holding his kid like a flamethrower covering the bathroom until he saw fit.

[RAZRr1275]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

Reminds me of the time I was working electronics at K-mart as a summer job. I am sitting at the counter, minding my own business, trying to pass the time until college football came out. When I see the cutest little 2 or three year old come walking in with his father. I lose track of them and check someone out. After the transaction i spot the father looking down the back of the kids shorts, I think nothing of it. Then I notice it. A nice little **** patty laying there on the grown, all mustard-brown in color. I don't panic, I remain calm. I went over to the garden where my brother was working and asked him to tell me what he saw over by the fireworks. He came back and informed me that some had indeed shat in the store. As an aside, I must say, the kid picked the right store to **** in, it was K-mart. If I was working at Target I might have been offended, but everyone who has worked at K-mart knows you have to have a certain mindset. "Okay, I am going to work at K-mart today, I better prepare myself mentally for some off the wall stuff."

As I get back to my counter I call the manager, I'm not getting paid enough and the job sucked enough already so she said to put a cart over it and that she would send someone to do it. Before I could get over there, a woman in some nice white sandles steps in it. She slides about a yard all on one foot, miraculously not falling over. I expected her to turn around and freak out when she found out what she stepped in, but she just looked back, shrugged and kept going. This woman must not have been a stranger to stepping in ****, she took it all in stride.

When I bring the cart over I notices that this niced half pound crap patty is not the only one, but there are a series of smaller ones all the way up into the bathroom door. I follow them and decide to take a peek inside as my curiosity was at an all time K-mart high. I took a deep breath and swung open the door. In retrospect, this is where I wish I had just thrown down the name badge and left.

It looked like I had found the holy grail of fecal disasters. My mind swirled as I tried to peice together what could have caused this to happen, like a detective at the scene of the murder. I could not come to a conclusion. Was this kid a dookie filled grenade? Was he still alive? Is he still in here somewhere? Could this be a terrorist attack? I had so many questions and no answer were there to be found. The discarded diaper lay strewn in the corner. It stood no chance. A mere finger in the dike holding back and ocean of diarrhea.

The was not one part of this bathroom that was not effected. The sink, mirror, stall, toilet, a-typical bathroom portrait of a random landscape, everything was covered in this henious up-heaval of intestinal bile. I almost collapsed as I am sure the are was more methane at this point than oxygen. I had to get out. It was divine intervention that the only thing that survived the Hollocaust of crap was the door handle. I got out of there and never used that bathroom again. I was scarred. No amount of mister clean or hydrochloric acid could ever rid that bathroom of it's horrible past.

I still to this day can not think of a scenario in which this could have taken place. I hope the kid was alright becuase three laxitives, a plate of deviled egss, and a sack of taco bell couldn't cause the sheer amount of product this kid put all over the place. The amount of coverage was also amazing. It was as if the father stood in the center of the bathroom and spun 360 degress holding his kid like a flamethrower covering the bathroom until he saw fit.

Worst day of my life.

roflmao. This is sooooooooo wrong and soooooooooo funny at the same time.

[Brandon13]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

That may be the funniest thing I've ever read here. Gotta love K-Mart.

[poster]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

I was just about to go to bed, but I noticed some new posts in this classic thread. I have been laughing so hard that I don't think I can sleep. What a story VT. LMAO

[oakfan162]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

This is just a classic thread all around. It just keeps getting better!

[Knight165]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

VTPack....that is friggin' hilarious!

M.K.
Knight165

[bucksfan07]

Re: My Wifes Fat Sister and other holiday disasters

funny, funny story