Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

[stewaat]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

Do you believe the same about finding a redhead better looking than brunette?


EDIT: Forgot to answer the original question. No, I wouldn't feel like I failed.

Yes

Do you believe you can change whether your sexual orientation later in life then? Can you get influenced by enough heterosexual activity to turn straight?

Yes. Straight to gay and gay to straight.

Really? It's that important to you that your son be straight?

I would in no way feel like a failure if my son were to be gay. That's something that I cannot control as a parent. As long as he is happy and lives a loving, productive life, I would be happy and proud of him.

I'm not sure why some would be disappointed in themselves when their son is going down a path that makes him happy. To me, that is a selfish behavior - putting your own cultural expectations above your son's true happiness.

Well I'm the only male member in my family. Therefore I would like to pass my name on down the generations.

Culture has influenced our perspectives on this subject as well. If nobody was ever gay in the first place would we even have this discussion?

Actually I'm digging my own "argumentative grave". I just remembered an anthropology class where some animals performed homosexual activity. Ok maybe it isn't just cultural.

I still want to have a straight son so he can carry the family name on.

[bkrich83]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

Yes



Yes. Straight to gay and gay to straight.



Well I'm the only male member in my family. Therefore I would like to pass my name on down the generations.

Culture has influenced our perspectives on this subject as well. If nobody was ever gay in the first place would we even have this discussion?

Actually I'm digging my own "argumentative grave". I just remembered an anthropology class where some animals performed homosexual activity. Ok maybe it isn't just cultural.

I still want to have a straight son so he can carry the family name on.

Couldn't be influenced by the Catholic education you received could you? :wink:

I've seen way to many studies performed by people way to smart that point to genetics being the determining factor to totally dismiss the argument it's something you're born with.

[jerseyboi2284]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

stewaat: I understand the carrying the name aspect, About a year ago I had a family get together for my aunt announcing her being engaged and my cousin the only child born from her is left carrying their last name. Anyway he used this as his "coming out" and it really upset my aunt due to the fact there would be no one else to carry the last name on through the next generation. So in that aspect I agree you would WANT your son to be straight in order to carry on the family name. But still I wouldn't feel as though I didn't do something right.

But to answer the question No, I wouldn't feel like a failure but I do believe in family legacy and carrying on a name so I would do my best to fulfill my IMO obligation to my family (and adoption doesn't count)

[stewaat]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

Couldn't be influenced by the Catholic education you received could you? :wink:

I've seen way to many studies performed by people way to smart that point to genetics being the determining factor to totally dismiss the argument it's something you're born with.

Saying my D in religion at ND was well deserved is an understatement. I have no knowledge of religion nor do I want any.

I'm agnostic and pretty sure my religion teacher hated me

Anyways I remembered that bonobos showed homosexual activity...

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/07/0722_040722_gayanimal_2.html

[TheMatrix31]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

If it's something you're born with, doesn't that mean it's probably hereditary? What if there is no family history of being gay?

[bkrich83]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

Saying my D in religion at ND was well deserved is an understatement. I have no knowledge of religion nor do I want any.

I'm agnostic and pretty sure my religion teacher hated me

It was a joke, hence the smiley.

[Acid]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

I wouldn't have a problem with it, and I wouldn't feel like I failed in any way.

[Hootiefish]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

If it's something you're born with, doesn't that mean it's probably hereditary? What if there is no family history of being gay?

There are many genetic abnormalities that are not hereditary. Some bits of genetic code require a 'perfect storm' to become exposed.

[DC]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

Well I'm really pleasantly suprised to see the open-mindedness of this group...one of the main reasons I frequent these boards.

Like others have said, initially, there would be a sense of shock and probably dissapointment. I wouldn't be dissapointed in myself or my son, but just for the fact that I wouldn't get to share certain things that I hoped to do.

It'd kind of be in the same general sense of if my son didn't like sports. As a father, there are certain things you hope to share with your son like teaching him about girls, etc. and that would just be something I'd miss out on.

I would get over it and definitely accept what ever choice he made and would support him 100% either way.

Great post. I agree 100% with everything you said

Especially the sports part

[Pared]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

To be honest, I don't want my kid to be gay. I have a couple of friends that are gay and that's all fine and dandy for them... but I don't want my kid to be gay. I've seen too many incidents that have resulted in physical damage because of it.

It seems to be more accepting in today's society though. One 1/2 show of MTV and you see it's almost as if it is "promoted" or the "cool thing to do" to be openly... "flamboyant." Almost as if it is an act at times.

I find it hard to believe that a lot of guys on the board say "nah, it's cool if my son is gay" yet get so worked up about comments with a homosexual tone on the boards, though.

Just an observation.

[Rainey]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

To be honest, I don't want my kid to be gay. I have a couple of friends that are gay and that's all fine and dandy for them... but I don't want my kid to be gay. I've seen too many incidents that have resulted in physical damage because of it.

It seems to be more accepting in today's society though. One 1/2 show of MTV and you see it's almost as if it is "promoted" or the "cool thing to do" to be openly... "flamboyant." Almost as if it is an act at times.

I find it hard to believe that a lot of guys on the board say "nah, it's cool if my son is gay" yet get so worked up about comments with a homosexual tone on the boards, though.

Just an observation.

I agree. I think people wish and act like they are much more open and free thinking when actual situations do not effect them on a truly personal level. When it actuality their entire opinion would change if the said situation would be theirs.

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

I find it hard to believe that a lot of guys on the board say "nah, it's cool if my son is gay" yet get so worked up about comments with a homosexual tone on the boards, though.

Just an observation.

Could it be because these comments are made with negative intent? Could the same thing be said for similar comments regarding, race, religion, political affiliation, etc?

I mean if you told someone they were acting like a "homo" or a "queer" wouldn't that carry the same negative connotation as if you told someone that they were acting like a "jew" or something? Though I don't think any jewish person is ashamed of their religion, when something is said in this context, the speaker would obviously be insinuting that it is a bad thing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm guilty of calling my friends homo's and even f-g because they know and I know that when I say it, it has nothing to do with the true definition. I use them as slang for being stupid, rediculous, ect. However, if I said this to someone I didn't know very well and it was offensive to them, the blame would definitely be on me.

[nyisles16]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

To be honest, I don't want my kid to be gay. I have a couple of friends that are gay and that's all fine and dandy for them... but I don't want my kid to be gay. I've seen too many incidents that have resulted in physical damage because of it.

It seems to be more accepting in today's society though. One 1/2 show of MTV and you see it's almost as if it is "promoted" or the "cool thing to do" to be openly... "flamboyant." Almost as if it is an act at times.

I find it hard to believe that a lot of guys on the board say "nah, it's cool if my son is gay" yet get so worked up about comments with a homosexual tone on the boards, though.

Just an observation.

I don't think anyone said "it's cool", just that it really not a big deal to some. Seeing that there are bigger problems in life, being gay is the least of them.

I would also beg to differ on the "adoption" issue as well. I see no reason why adopting a child would not enable for someone to have their name to carry on (when I refer to "you" it is general terms). What happens to a straight couple that have troubles getting pregnant or can't get pregnant?

If that's the case, then "artificially" getting pregnant doesn't count either.

[Pared]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

That's a fair question.

I just find it hard to believe that if you walked in on your son with another boy out of the blue at the age of 17 in your own home that the same guys here who believe that they would be fine with it wouldn't be bothered.

I know if I walked in on my son with a girl I would be thinking "atta boy!" lol

I've been a few lesbian clubs (for my own selfish reasons, to be honest ) but I just wouldn't want my child to deal with that persecution... and I wouldn't want to deal with it as well.

I would just want my kid to be a baseball star... with a hot wife and lots of money. Nothing too crazy.

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Parental Question: Let's Try and Keep This 100% Mature Please

It seems to be more accepting in today's society though. One 1/2 show of MTV and you see it's almost as if it is "promoted" or the "cool thing to do" to be openly... "flamboyant." Almost as if it is an act at times.

This part I do somewhat agree with. I have no problem with someone being gay, straight or bi. But what does tend to bother me is when someone feels the need to throw their sexuality in your face. It is fine if you are proud that you are openly gay, but why feel the need to celebrate it in such a way? I don't celebrate my straightness. In fact for the most part my sexuality doesn't come up.

Also, and maybe this goes hand in hand with what you said and I said above, but "flamers" bother me. Not because they are gay, but simply because they are so over the top about it and again, they throw it in your face, it kind of leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Maybe they are the minority of the gay community, but because they are the ones flaunting it, it is how you begin to stereo-type the community.

Maybe someone can answer this and I'm really not trying to be rude here and if I cross a line, I am sorry, but why is it thay some (definitely not all) gay men, all of a sudden develop a very feminine personality once they become openly gay.

For example, there was a guy that I went to high school with who was your typical guy back in the day. He dated girls, played some sports and was just one of the guys. When he went to college, he discovered he was gay. Well when I ran into him a few years ago, all of a sudden he talks with a bit of a lisp, is very flamboyant with his actions and just is your stereo-typical "Big Gay Al". I just got to wondering of why this sometimes happens.

It could be something that has always been inside of them, but it doesn't seem so (not them being gay, just the flamboyantness).

If I did have a homesexual son, as I said earlier, I would be accepting and fine with it. I would just try to help him be as normal of a guy as possible.