Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

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  • ehh
    Hall Of Fame
    • Mar 2003
    • 28962

    #16
    Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

    Video games are the least of my concerns when it comes to marriage. I wouldn't classify myself as afraid but I'm very hesitant.

    Three weeks ago I broke up w. my gf of two years that I was living with - so it was pretty much like being married. I kinda freaked out, felt smothered or whatever and broke it off. I'm just not ready for that sorta thing and I don't know if I'll ever be. At this point my plan is to stay single until I'm in my mid-30's and then marry a girl ten years younger than me.
    "You make your name in the regular season, and your fame in the postseason." - Clyde Frazier

    "Beware of geeks bearing formulas." - Warren Buffet

    Comment

    • ehh
      Hall Of Fame
      • Mar 2003
      • 28962

      #17
      Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

      Originally posted by Buddy Knox

      - Being able to sleep with other women.
      - Not sure she's the "one".
      - Doesn't like her friends/family.
      - She's a good girlfriend but not wifey material.
      - She wants to be committed/married too soon.
      All truth. That was my problem, I'm 26 and my gf was 28 and extremely ready for marriage. My boys were joking with me after the first two months I was dating her that if I popped the question she'd be ecstatic and said yes. That combined w. the fact that I was never positive that she was the one was enough for me to break it off.
      "You make your name in the regular season, and your fame in the postseason." - Clyde Frazier

      "Beware of geeks bearing formulas." - Warren Buffet

      Comment

      • Pared
        Legen - WAIT FOR IT
        • Feb 2003
        • 39337

        #18
        Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

        Originally posted by ehh
        Video games are the least of my concerns when it comes to marriage. I wouldn't classify myself as afraid but I'm very hesitant.

        Three weeks ago I broke up w. my gf of two years that I was living with - so it was pretty much like being married. I kinda freaked out, felt smothered or whatever and broke it off. I'm just not ready for that sorta thing and I don't know if I'll ever be. At this point my plan is to stay single until I'm in my mid-30's and then marry a girl ten years younger than me.
        lol Nice plan.
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        • stewaat

          #19
          Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

          I'm seeing eye to eye with ehh right about now...I'll get married later on...too young (23) to settle down.

          I get tired of girls way too easily anyways...

          The grass is always greener...

          Comment

          • Koolie G
            MVP
            • Mar 2005
            • 1812

            #20
            Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

            Originally posted by ehh
            At this point my plan is to stay single until I'm in my mid-30's and then marry a girl ten years younger than me.
            Well, I can't say that this was my "plan", but this is how it has worked out. I just got engaged to a girl that I've been dating for almost 2 years. I will be 34 next week and she will be 24 this weekend. I didn't plan on being single this long, but that's just how it worked out.

            The only issue you may have with this strategy is that you get set in your ways when you are single for this long. I could always go play golf or play video games or go to any ballgame or out of town trip with my boys whenever I wanted. Now that all has a potential to cause conflict. If she told me I couldn't do those things, we'd not be getting married. I still play my 360, I still play golf almost everyday, but a lot of my buddies don't have a girl that "allows" that. I'm pretty lucky, but I definitely got used to doing whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it, and didn't have to take anyone else's schedules or feelings into consideration. Now I have to think about her in those situations. It definitely took me a while to realize that, and I haven't mastered it yet, but I think staying single for so long made that transition more difficult.

            We are still going to the Kentucky football game on Saturday, which is her birthday. She's not exicted about it, but that is the one thing she knew up front. When a Kentucky sporting event is going on, I'm watching it, no questions asked. She's about as cool with that as I could ask.
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            Comment

            • slickdtc
              Grayscale
              • Aug 2004
              • 17125

              #21
              Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

              Originally posted by Koolie G
              Well, I can't say that this was my "plan", but this is how it has worked out. I just got engaged to a girl that I've been dating for almost 2 years. I will be 34 next week and she will be 24 this weekend. I didn't plan on being single this long, but that's just how it worked out.

              The only issue you may have with this strategy is that you get set in your ways when you are single for this long. I could always go play golf or play video games or go to any ballgame or out of town trip with my boys whenever I wanted. Now that all has a potential to cause conflict. If she told me I couldn't do those things, we'd not be getting married. I still play my 360, I still play golf almost everyday, but a lot of my buddies don't have a girl that "allows" that. I'm pretty lucky, but I definitely got used to doing whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it, and didn't have to take anyone else's schedules or feelings into consideration. Now I have to think about her in those situations. It definitely took me a while to realize that, and I haven't mastered it yet, but I think staying single for so long made that transition more difficult.

              We are still going to the Kentucky football game on Saturday, which is her birthday. She's not exicted about it, but that is the one thing she knew up front. When a Kentucky sporting event is going on, I'm watching it, no questions asked. She's about as cool with that as I could ask.
              I'm still very young but I've noticed these same things. You have to take the other person into consideration, which I never had to do before. It's tough for me because I'm such a sports nut that I have to eliminate that sometimes because she doesn't care much about it (but she's pretty tolerable, which is all I can ask for).

              But we've found a good middle ground. She knows that I'm going to be playing video games sometimes or that I'm going to be engrossed in football from 1 PM until 7 PM on Sunday's. And I know she's going to want to watch her shows and stuff like that.

              I have to give up some things some times but when I look at the big picture, it's pretty minor when compared to what I get from just being with her. That's why I know I wouldn't want to be single even though it has its perks. For me, being with someone that you really care for and that they care for you just as much is better then just caring for yourself.
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              Comment

              • onestop
                Rookie
                • Sep 2008
                • 5

                #22
                Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                I agree with the post above. Isn't it great when you find someone who tolerates everything about you and even loves that! Why would anyone give that up? Also, I feel sorry for the girl who was dated for 2 years and it's then you decided you weren't ready? Did you think about her at all? Why did it take so long to decide that? I understand not being ready--but then let the girl know you don't want anything serious from the beginning? Why try to be serious and then jump ship later?

                Comment

                • ehh
                  Hall Of Fame
                  • Mar 2003
                  • 28962

                  #23
                  Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                  Originally posted by Koolie G
                  Well, I can't say that this was my "plan", but this is how it has worked out. I just got engaged to a girl that I've been dating for almost 2 years. I will be 34 next week and she will be 24 this weekend. I didn't plan on being single this long, but that's just how it worked out.

                  The only issue you may have with this strategy is that you get set in your ways when you are single for this long. I could always go play golf or play video games or go to any ballgame or out of town trip with my boys whenever I wanted. Now that all has a potential to cause conflict. If she told me I couldn't do those things, we'd not be getting married. I still play my 360, I still play golf almost everyday, but a lot of my buddies don't have a girl that "allows" that. I'm pretty lucky, but I definitely got used to doing whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it, and didn't have to take anyone else's schedules or feelings into consideration. Now I have to think about her in those situations. It definitely took me a while to realize that, and I haven't mastered it yet, but I think staying single for so long made that transition more difficult.

                  We are still going to the Kentucky football game on Saturday, which is her birthday. She's not exicted about it, but that is the one thing she knew up front. When a Kentucky sporting event is going on, I'm watching it, no questions asked. She's about as cool with that as I could ask.
                  Yeah I can definitely see that being an issue. I'm a very independent person and have always been the kinda guy who "does what he wants, when he wants" and being considerate of another person is usually in the back of my mind.

                  Things were actually working out great w. my last gf until I moved in and realized that she really didn't have any close friends and that I was her entire universe. Her family life sucked and the only girls she'd hang out w. were co-workers who she didn't really like. She always wanted to do things together and the only time we wouldn't is when I told her I was going to do something by myself. Even if I was playing videogames for 2-3 hours she would sit there and read a book or magazine right next to me, it just got to be too much. It was like she was a puppy, always there waiting for me to come back or following me around.
                  "You make your name in the regular season, and your fame in the postseason." - Clyde Frazier

                  "Beware of geeks bearing formulas." - Warren Buffet

                  Comment

                  • PodSquad
                    Banned
                    • Jul 2005
                    • 460

                    #24
                    Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                    I really have no plans to get married. Im in love with the female form, I mean I could stare at naked chicks for hours on end and not ever get tired of it, I just cant deal with them personally. Even women I have had as close friends are crazy, I dont know how anyone could deal with it every day, for the rest of their lives even as aging and menopause make them even crazier.

                    Comment

                    • ehh
                      Hall Of Fame
                      • Mar 2003
                      • 28962

                      #25
                      Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                      Originally posted by PodSquad
                      I dont know how anyone could deal with it every day, for the rest of their lives even as aging and menopause make them even crazier.
                      Not to mention they stop looking good and putting out at that point.
                      "You make your name in the regular season, and your fame in the postseason." - Clyde Frazier

                      "Beware of geeks bearing formulas." - Warren Buffet

                      Comment

                      • stewaat

                        #26
                        Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                        The last two posts were both classic and I applaud you both.

                        Comment

                        • TarHeelMan
                          Th* H*mb*rg*r P*mp
                          • Jul 2002
                          • 7853

                          #27
                          Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                          Today is my 10 year anniversary of being married. I think some dudes make the mistake of getting married for the wrong reasons (read: sex), not thinking that when it wears off, there's nothing there. My brother in law has been married to his wife for 12 years, and he is the most miserable cat I've ever seen. Cases like his are the reason that other dudes shy away from committing to a chick.

                          Comment

                          • KG
                            Welcome Back
                            • Sep 2005
                            • 17583

                            #28
                            Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                            You just have to find that happy medium between putting in QT with her and having your own personal time. If neither one respects the others personal time than you're going to have problems.

                            A lot of people find the right person at the wrong time or the wrong person at the right time.

                            Oh, the power of the p-u*-*y
                            Twitter Instagram - kgx2thez

                            Comment

                            • ehh
                              Hall Of Fame
                              • Mar 2003
                              • 28962

                              #29
                              Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                              Originally posted by kgx2thez
                              A lot of people find the right person at the wrong time or the wrong person at the right time.
                              The story of my life...
                              "You make your name in the regular season, and your fame in the postseason." - Clyde Frazier

                              "Beware of geeks bearing formulas." - Warren Buffet

                              Comment

                              • McLite
                                MVP
                                • Feb 2003
                                • 2113

                                #30
                                Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                                I'm not. I look forward to getting married and having kids. I'm dating a great girl right now and I hope things work out that way.
                                - The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

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