Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

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  • Pappy Knuckles
    LORDTHUNDERBIRD
    • Sep 2004
    • 15966

    #76
    Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

    Originally posted by The GIGGAS
    See, that's what I wanted. A legit concern.

    And to say I don't have that would be false. I do worry about things like that, but I also hope that who I become and whoever my wife (is and) becomes works together and is able to become a better unit.

    I'm scared, but in an optimistic way, I guess is the best way to say it.
    You seem like a good dude, Giggas. I couldn't go down your path, but I definitely wish you and your girl the best.

    Comment

    • The GIGGAS
      Timbers - Jags - Hokies
      • Mar 2003
      • 28474

      #77
      Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

      Originally posted by Buddy Knox
      You seem like a good dude, Giggas. I couldn't go down your path, but I definitely wish you and your girl the best.
      Thanks man.
      Rose City 'Til I Die
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      • slickdtc
        Grayscale
        • Aug 2004
        • 17125

        #78
        Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

        Originally posted by The GIGGAS
        See, that's what I wanted. A legit concern.

        And to say I don't have that would be false. I do worry about things like that, but I also hope that who I become and whoever my wife (is and) becomes works together and is able to become a better unit.

        I'm scared, but in an optimistic way, I guess is the best way to say it.
        I'm the same way.

        Just within the time I've been in this relationship, I know I have changed. How can't you? When you're with someone for so long, they impact you as do the new experiences you get within that time too. So yes, I assume that when we get married or when something not planned happens it's going to affect us and mold us differently. But I also have confidence that it won't make us grow apart because our bond is too strong for that. It's been tested before and it'll be tested again and it won't break.

        Originally posted by Bird006
        I just don't want that burden. I know it sounds bad to call someone you love a burden in your life, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to do everyhting I want to if I have someone else's feelings to consider. Maybe I'll be able to find someone who I can do those things with, or will allow me the freedom to do whatever I want to do (Travel, get my degree, play/watch sports, videogames, etc.).

        I know one day I'll be married. My father got married when he was 18, and he's been happily married to my mother for well over 30 years. That's not what I want, though. I know he feels like he missed out on plenty of things because of it. I want to wait until I'm at least 30, have a career that I love, and know that I'm with the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
        That's just the differences between people. Yes, sometimes it's tough having to take into account what my girlfriend wants when some of my friends want to do something and I can't because I already have plans. So sure, I'm going to miss out on some things. But the pro's of being with a person that I truly love far outweigh the con's of whatever it is I couldn't do that night or day. That's how I feel.
        NHL - Philadelphia Flyers
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        Originally posted by Money99
        And how does one levy a check that will result in only a slight concussion? Do they set their shoulder-pads to 'stun'?

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        • Bird006
          MVP
          • Mar 2003
          • 961

          #79
          Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

          Originally posted by slickdtc
          I'm the same way.

          That's just the differences between people. Yes, sometimes it's tough having to take into account what my girlfriend wants when some of my friends want to do something and I can't because I already have plans. So sure, I'm going to miss out on some things. But the pro's of being with a person that I truly love far outweigh the con's of whatever it is I couldn't do that night or day. That's how I feel.
          I definitely feel that, man. I've turned down my friends plenty times just to stay at home with the girl or to take her out. My view here is on life in general..

          Is love worth giving up everything you can be? Say I get into writing school somewhere far away from home, but the girlfriend gets into art school in the city. Which becomes more important? I could easily stay here, go through with Journalism and be successful that way.. But I know I'd be happier and more satisfied if I reached my full potential of what I love to do.

          Comment

          • ezekiel55
            Th*s F*c* C*sh*s Ch*cks
            • Nov 2003
            • 2156

            #80
            Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

            I'm 26 and recently got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship about a year and a half ago. Since then I've been having the time of my life, and just dating women.

            I changed my whole perspective on relationships and stay away from getting too serious. Its been the best time of my life since I took this stance...obviously there are times when I'll feel a bit lonely, but that is outweighed by the fact the women I'm seeing know that I dont do the whole bf/gf thing...meaning I'm not gonna call everyday, or hang out for hanging outs sake.

            The funny part about taking this stance is that I've been in the healthiest relationships of my life. If a girl gets too serious I tell her to **** off and I'm not ready for that nonsense. In most casess the girls have curtailed that behavior, some of the times they'll give me the "I need to be in a serious relationship" business and we part ways.

            The reason I'm doin it this way now is not due to a fear of commitment, but a commitment to myself to be as happy as possible...If my hearts not 100% in it, why should I sacrifice my happiness in my prime.

            Comment

            • Pappy Knuckles
              LORDTHUNDERBIRD
              • Sep 2004
              • 15966

              #81
              Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

              Originally posted by zekey55
              I'm 26 and recently got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship about a year and a half ago. Since then I've been having the time of my life, and just dating women.

              I changed my whole perspective on relationships and stay away from getting too serious. Its been the best time of my life since I took this stance...obviously there are times when I'll feel a bit lonely, but that is outweighed by the fact the women I'm seeing know that I dont do the whole bf/gf thing...meaning I'm not gonna call everyday, or hang out for hanging outs sake.

              The funny part about taking this stance is that I've been in the healthiest relationships of my life. If a girl gets too serious I tell her to **** off and I'm not ready for that nonsense. In most casess the girls have curtailed that behavior, some of the times they'll give me the "I need to be in a serious relationship" business and we part ways.

              The reason I'm doin it this way now is not due to a fear of commitment, but a commitment to myself to be as happy as possible...If my hearts not 100% in it, why should I sacrifice my happiness in my prime.
              I feel you 100%.

              I think the aftermath of a long term relationship gives you a lot of time to realize who you really are and what you want in life. A relationship doesn't fit in my life anytime in the near future. The only thing a female is good for right now is a roll in the sheets and some good conversation. I think my last relationship failed because we became a couple too soon and eventually it became apparent that we just weren't the right fit. She's a great girl though and I wish her the best.

              Comment

              • ehh
                Hall Of Fame
                • Mar 2003
                • 28962

                #82
                Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                Very good post zekey. That's why I ended my last relationship, my heart wasn't in it anymore and I wasn't happy. Life is too short to stay in that sort of mess.
                "You make your name in the regular season, and your fame in the postseason." - Clyde Frazier

                "Beware of geeks bearing formulas." - Warren Buffet

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                • stewaat

                  #83
                  Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                  I feel you guys. I had a relationship with a girl 3.5 years...so it's not like I've been the single guy forever. I enjoy not having a gf more than having one. Maybe one day that will change...who knows.

                  They call it your life because it's yours to live...

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                  • ehh
                    Hall Of Fame
                    • Mar 2003
                    • 28962

                    #84
                    Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

                    Originally posted by stewaat
                    I enjoy not having a gf more than having one. Maybe one day that will change...who knows.
                    Hopefully not.
                    "You make your name in the regular season, and your fame in the postseason." - Clyde Frazier

                    "Beware of geeks bearing formulas." - Warren Buffet

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