Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

**ehh** · 09-30-2008, 10:44 AM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by stewaat

Why does mature have to mean wanting to settle down? That's what I don't get. I'm mature and don't want to settle down.

Mature and love are two of the most overused words on this planet.

That is a very good point. I consider myself to be mature (all my gf's have told me the same thing) but I have no desire to settle down before my 30's.

**onestop** · 09-30-2008, 11:34 AM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

So if you are broken up because the guy is afraid of marriage even though you had a great relationship of 1.5 years and you are both in your late 20s. What's the best way to get him to realize that marriage isn't that scary? What's the best way to get someone like this back?

**ehh** · 09-30-2008, 12:08 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by onestop

So if you are broken up because the guy is afraid of marriage even though you had a great relationship of 1.5 years and you are both in your late 20s. What's the best way to get him to realize that marriage isn't that scary? What's the best way to get someone like this back?

........

I doubt it was the fear of marriage that ended the relationship.

**Pared** · 09-30-2008, 12:57 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

lol do you know onestop, ehh?

**mgoblue** · 09-30-2008, 01:01 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by onestop

So if you are broken up because the guy is afraid of marriage even though you had a great relationship of 1.5 years and you are both in your late 20s. What's the best way to get him to realize that marriage isn't that scary? What's the best way to get someone like this back?

You can't...you basically have to let that person mature and figure out what they want, and if it involves you...

**Bird006** · 09-30-2008, 01:44 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by Pared

lol do you know onestop, ehh?

LOL

Marraige is terrifying. End of story.

**ehh** · 09-30-2008, 02:32 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by Pared

lol do you know onestop, ehh?

I knew my ex was clingy and needy but I didn't think it was so bad that she'd register at OS and ask for advice.

**The GIGGAS** · 09-30-2008, 02:33 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by Bird006

LOL

Marraige is terrifying. End of story.

Why?

**stewaat** · 09-30-2008, 02:37 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by The GIGGAS

Why?

One woman the rest of your life is scary. What if she lets herself go after you guys get married and she's no longer attractive?

I'm just going to have a clause in my prenuptial agreement where if my wife lets herself go I am allowed to have sex with a good looking woman until she gets her act together.

**The GIGGAS** · 09-30-2008, 02:40 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by stewaat

One woman the rest of your life is scary. What if she lets herself go after you guys get married and she's no longer attractive?

I'm just going to have a clause in my prenuptial agreement where if my wife lets herself go I am allowed to have sex with a good looking woman until she gets her act together.

That's pretty shallow. It's not all about looks... I mean, I can see why putting trust in another human can be scary... but it's not like we're all going to look good forever (even if you think you will).

**Bird006** · 09-30-2008, 03:01 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by The GIGGAS

That's pretty shallow. It's not all about looks... I mean, I can see why putting trust in another human can be scary... but it's not like we're all going to look good forever (even if you think you will).

LOL, let's just say my reason is a little different than Stewaat's.

I agree that what he said is a little shallow and it makes the immature stereotype understandable.

Me?

I just don't want that burden. I know it sounds bad to call someone you love a burden in your life, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to do everyhting I want to if I have someone else's feelings to consider. Maybe I'll be able to find someone who I can do those things with, or will allow me the freedom to do whatever I want to do (Travel, get my degree, play/watch sports, videogames, etc.).

I know one day I'll be married. My father got married when he was 18, and he's been happily married to my mother for well over 30 years. That's not what I want, though. I know he feels like he missed out on plenty of things because of it. I want to wait until I'm at least 30, have a career that I love, and know that I'm with the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

For now, I'll meet new people, do what I love, and most importantly, use protection.

**PdiddyPop** · 09-30-2008, 03:07 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by kgx2thez

A lot of people find the right person at the wrong time or the wrong person at the right time.

I'd be the guy that found 2 women as the wrong person at the right time. Thank god I was only engaged and not married. Plus wasn't living with either one either. Made it much easier to move on from.

**Pappy Knuckles** · 09-30-2008, 06:21 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by onestop

So if you are broken up because the guy is afraid of marriage even though you had a great relationship of 1.5 years and you are both in your late 20s. What's the best way to get him to realize that marriage isn't that scary? What's the best way to get someone like this back?

If someone doesn't wanna be with you there's nothing you can do to change their mind. There are always a lot of factors involved when it comes to a relationship.

**ehh** · 09-30-2008, 11:07 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by The GIGGAS

Why?

I don't think marriage is terrifying, but long term change is a huge reason for concern. Ask any couple that's been married for 25+ years - the person you get married to in your early/mid 20's is not going be the same person ten years, twenty years, etc. And I'm not talking about their appearance, I mean their personality, basically who they are as a person. People change over the years and in many marriages people grow apart because of all the change.

**The GIGGAS** · 09-30-2008, 11:39 PM

Re: Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

Originally posted by ehh

I don't think marriage is terrifying, but long term change is a huge reason for concern. Ask any couple that's been married for 25+ years - the person you get married to in your early/mid 20's is not going be the same person ten years, twenty years, etc. And I'm not talking about their appearance, I mean their personality, basically who they are as a person. People change over the years and in many marriages people grow apart because of all the change.

See, that's what I wanted. A legit concern.

And to say I don't have that would be false. I do worry about things like that, but I also hope that who I become and whoever my wife (is and) becomes works together and is able to become a better unit.

I'm scared, but in an optimistic way, I guess is the best way to say it.

Why are men afraid of commitment/marriage?

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