Do you read on the throne?

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  • JohnnytheSkin
    All Star
    • Jul 2003
    • 5914

    #16
    Re: Do you read on the throne?

    I used to read the paper when I was growing up...good times!

    As for those who bring their laptop, YUCK! It's one thing to read a piece of paper (magazine, newspaper, notes) when you chuck them quickly, but a laptop? Something you use multiple times per day? Do you sanitize the thing with a wipe when you're done? Use sanitizer on your hands after wiping your *** before putting it down, close it before flushing (don't forget the fecal spray unless you close the lid) and then wash your hands before picking it back up?

    It's the reasons above that I won't bring my DS or PSP with me in there...I'd have a sanitary meltdown with my OCD/OCPD.
    I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. - Douglas Adams

    Oh, sorry...I got distracted by the internet. - Scott Pilgrim

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    • Scottdau
      Banned
      • Feb 2003
      • 32580

      #17
      Re: Do you read on the throne?

      I usually read my video game manuals.

      Comment

      • superjames1992
        Hall Of Fame
        • Jun 2007
        • 31382

        #18
        Re: Do you read on the throne?

        I pretty much always read Sports Illustrated while on the toilet, LOL.
        Coaching Legacy of James Frizzell (CH 2K8)
        Yale Bulldogs (NCAA Football 07)
        Coaching Legacy of Lee Williamson (CH 2K8)

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        • Cebby
          Banned
          • Apr 2005
          • 22327

          #19
          Re: Do you read on the throne?

          Originally posted by JohnnytheSkin
          As for those who bring their laptop, YUCK! It's one thing to read a piece of paper (magazine, newspaper, notes) when you chuck them quickly, but a laptop? Something you use multiple times per day? Do you sanitize the thing with a wipe when you're done? Use sanitizer on your hands after wiping your *** before putting it down, close it before flushing (don't forget the fecal spray unless you close the lid) and then wash your hands before picking it back up?
          Are you incompetent at pooping or something?

          It's a simply process.

          1. You site down with laptop. I place mine on the ground and bend over when I need to do something. If you feel like holding it, you set it on the ground following step 2.

          2. You poop. Most people poop into the toilet, so the laptop should not get any poop on it.

          3. Upon completion, you wipe your *** in the preferred method, flush the toilet, and then wash your hands.

          4. You pick the laptop up and bring it to desired location.

          For wiping, you shouldn't need to coat it in sanitizer. The point of the toilet paper is to get the left over feces on the paper, not your hand.

          As for the fecal spray, what the ****? I guess we've now answered the question of "HOW THE **** WAS THERE POOP ON THE ****ING WALL AND CEILING?!?!?!" in these public bathroom stories. If you're producing "fecal spray", you may want to see a doctor. I've had the liquid poops when I've been ill, but never to the point where I would have to fear for my possessions in the bathroom.

          The key to laptop pooping is that you don't actually want to touch your feces. I've never had a problem with this, but it makes me feel better to know that some people struggle with this.

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          • TheMatrix31
            RF
            • Jul 2002
            • 52931

            #20
            Re: Do you read on the throne?

            Clorox Sanitation Wipes.

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            • countryboy
              Growing pains
              • Sep 2003
              • 52835

              #21
              Re: Do you read on the throne?

              Originally posted by Cebby
              I've had the liquid poops when I've been ill, but never to the point where I would have to fear for my possessions in the bathroom.
              I can't shave with my eyes closed, meaning each day I have to look at myself in the mirror and respect who I see.

              I miss the old days of Operation Sports :(


              Louisville Cardinals/St.Louis Cardinals

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              • sportsdude
                Be Massive
                • Jul 2002
                • 5001

                #22
                Re: Do you read on the throne?

                I always read. The overwhelming majority of the time it's Sports Illustrated but if I'm sitting down reading a book and nature calls, well I'll take that in there with me and continue reading.

                I enjoy taking SI with me because sometimes when I've read everything I want to read I end up finding another story that I had no desire to read and end up liking it.
                Lux y Veritas

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                • auburntigersfan
                  Release the Kirchen
                  • Aug 2006
                  • 4737

                  #23
                  Re: Do you read on the throne?

                  I read about half the time.

                  I either read Ski Magazine or ESPN the Magazine and at school there is usually the NY Times or Tulsa World to read.
                  WUSTL

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                  • JohnnytheSkin
                    All Star
                    • Jul 2003
                    • 5914

                    #24
                    Re: Do you read on the throne?

                    Cebby, I love you man, I don't know how you are so ignorant at times, but bro...really, you try way too hard for your "digs" or "humor":

                    Dr Karl, Karl Kruszelnicki, Great Moments in Science, bacteria, germs, toilet seat, Charles Gerba, E. coli, Klebsiella pneumonia, Streptococcus, Salmonella, Staphyloccus aureus, Pat Rusin, great moments in science








                    Dr. Gerba has also studied germ counts in the house, and by doing so, discovered the right way to flush the toilet. You should flush with the lid down.

                    If you flush with the lid up, a polluted plume of bacteria and water vapour erupts out of the flushing toilet bowl. The polluted water particles float for a few hours around your bathroom before they all land. Some of them will land on your tooth brush.

                    Dr Gerba also found that in the home, the kitchen sponge had the highest germ count, followed by the kitchen sink. The lowest bacteria count, out of 15 household locations, was the toilet seat. He said (perhaps a little jokingly), "If an alien came from space and studied the bacterial counts, he probably would conclude he should wash his hands in your toilet". He went on to say what they might do in your sink.

                    So if you flush with the lid up, you are probably brushing your teeth with toilet water. I guess that's one story to tell the males in your household, so that they put the lid down, because if they put the lid down, they have to put the seat down as well.


                    So, since everyone on OS is such a manly man, I'm sure no one closes the lid. And thus, you get the fecal spray.

                    If you ever in your high school days took the swabs to the agar in biology class, you would have known this.
                    I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. - Douglas Adams

                    Oh, sorry...I got distracted by the internet. - Scott Pilgrim

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                    • AlexBrady
                      MVP
                      • Jul 2008
                      • 3341

                      #25
                      Re: Do you read on the throne?

                      No, but I have been known to "choke the bishop" while sitting on the throne.

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                      • DakkoN
                        All Star
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 5611

                        #26
                        Re: Do you read on the throne?

                        definitely.. i'd hate going in there and not having anything to read..
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                        • Slimshoom
                          Pro
                          • Feb 2007
                          • 635

                          #27
                          Re: Do you read on the throne?

                          Originally posted by AlexBrady
                          No, but I have been known to "choke the bishop" while sitting on the throne.
                          ok really? did ANYONE want to know this

                          as for the question...I always take something to read unless nothing is available or its going to be bad. I typically take a novel (yes, a novel) in with me, although a magazine or newspaper works just fine. I also typically sit with my pants down and read after im done actually going. Right now im working on Stephen King's It, so it is my daily toilet reading material.
                          Teams I Live and Die with:

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                          NCAAFB: Michigan Wolverines
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                          • Cebby
                            Banned
                            • Apr 2005
                            • 22327

                            #28
                            Re: Do you read on the throne?

                            Originally posted by JohnnytheSkin
                            So, since everyone on OS is such a manly man, I'm sure no one closes the lid. And thus, you get the fecal spray.
                            Going by those articles though, your desk, sink, shower, or anywhere in public will have a disproportionate amount of bacteria that the toilet spray is essentially irrelevant.

                            It doesn't really matter to me though, because our toilets are broken and covered by a counter-like piece, so every time we flush, we have to open the top part and pull up the lever, so I have to keep the lid down anyway. And I keep my toothbrush in a cabinet. If these scientists followed my example, we'd all be better people.

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                            • AlexBrady
                              MVP
                              • Jul 2008
                              • 3341

                              #29
                              Re: Do you read on the throne?

                              I usually take all my clothes off when I sit on the throne. I get hot easily so it just becomes a burden when trying to drop a deuce.

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                              • Slimshoom
                                Pro
                                • Feb 2007
                                • 635

                                #30
                                Re: Do you read on the throne?

                                i feel weird taking a dump naked...
                                Teams I Live and Die with:

                                MLB: Detroit Tigers
                                NCAAFB: Michigan Wolverines
                                NFL: New York Giants/Detroit Lions
                                NHL: Detroit Red Wings
                                NBA: Detroit Pistons
                                NCAABB: Oakland University Golden Grizzlies



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