2 part question for those with kids.

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  • DC
    Hall Of Fame
    • Oct 2002
    • 17996

    #61
    Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

    Originally posted by ProStylez
    I'm not saying I need to kiss his lips in fact I don't even know how it started. I never had a father around so it's not like my dad did it to me. I'm just saying if he comes up to me and gives me a kiss on his lips what I should do is say "Nah bro that **** is gay, you need to be a man...no homo" He is 4 not 14....if he wanted me to kiss his cheek I would and I actually do.
    If he's playing baseball and hits a home run I'm not going to kiss him on his lips after the game I know there are boundaries but once before bed I see nothing wrong with.
    Someone 20 inches shorter than you can't "come up to you and kiss you on the mouth." You HAVE to see him coming. I would just hug the dude or turn my cheek. I won't say it is gay, but I damn sure wouldn't allow him to think something like that is cool.

    Why wouldn't you kiss him on the lips after he hit a homerun? Because others might see how weird you are?
    Concrete evidence/videos please

    Comment

    • DC
      Hall Of Fame
      • Oct 2002
      • 17996

      #62
      Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

      My goal as a parent is to raise a nice, caring, decent and respectible child and I think showing them love is the best way to initiate that, especially until they are at an age where I can't converse with them on a higher level. The best I can do is lead by example.

      If my choices are to raise a loving and respectful child vs. a mean and tough one, I'll choose the first option every time. I've grown to be successful without the need to be a "tough guy" and I would prefer that route for my kids.
      Once again, use EXTREME points in a discussion.

      Who WOULDN'T choose the first option?

      Who said anything about raising a tough guy? I can't show my kid love and affection in ways other than kissing him on his mouth? I am missing that point in all of this.

      I want to raise a tough and mean guy all of a sudden huh? Where the hell are you getting this from?
      Concrete evidence/videos please

      Comment

      • ProStylez
        Goon Squad
        • Oct 2006
        • 1988

        #63
        Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

        Originally posted by DC
        Someone 20 inches shorter than you can't "come up to you and kiss you on the mouth." You HAVE to see him coming. I would just hug the dude or turn my cheek. I won't say it is gay, but I damn sure wouldn't allow him to think something like that is cool.

        Why wouldn't you kiss him on the lips after he hit a homerun? Because others might see how weird you are?
        I guess we will agree to disagree on everything.
        No harm done, I respect your opinion because that's what I was looking for.

        Comment

        • DC
          Hall Of Fame
          • Oct 2002
          • 17996

          #64
          Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

          Honestly, I think it is a cultural thing. I am pretty sure most black men won't and don't kiss their boys on the mouth.
          Concrete evidence/videos please

          Comment

          • ProStylez
            Goon Squad
            • Oct 2006
            • 1988

            #65
            Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

            Originally posted by DC
            Honestly, I think it is a cultural thing. I am pretty sure most black men won't and don't kiss their boys on the mouth.
            Damn I'd be offended right now if I was black.
            I'm Hispanic so I guess we are all homos then?

            Comment

            • Trevytrev11
              MVP
              • Nov 2006
              • 3259

              #66
              Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

              Originally posted by DC
              Once again, use EXTREME points in a discussion.

              Who WOULDN'T choose the first option?

              Who said anything about raising a tough guy? I can't show my kid love and affection in ways other than kissing him on his mouth? I am missing that point in all of this.

              I want to raise a tough and mean guy all of a sudden huh? Where the hell are you getting this from?
              I didn't say that was you. I'm just saying I won't deny my children affection when I feel they need it most and I won't deter them from showing whatever affection they want to show as long as I feel it is not inappropriate...if my two year old son wants a kiss, I would never turn him away.

              I'm not worried about when he gets older because I know all kids go through the same thing where it becomes uncool to kiss your parents. Every kid I've ever met has gone through that and it will work it's own way out.

              But I will let my kid tell me when it's time, I won't deny him. I would think the impact wouldn't be a good one.
              Last edited by Trevytrev11; 10-19-2009, 11:30 AM.

              Comment

              • DC
                Hall Of Fame
                • Oct 2002
                • 17996

                #67
                Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

                Originally posted by ProStylez
                Damn I'd be offended right now if I was black.
                I'm Hispanic so I guess we are all homos then?
                I don't know what HIspanics do. I know I see many white people do it and I don't know of any blacks to do it.
                Concrete evidence/videos please

                Comment

                • DC
                  Hall Of Fame
                  • Oct 2002
                  • 17996

                  #68
                  Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

                  Originally posted by Trevytrev11
                  I didn't say that was you. I'm just saying I won't deny my children affection when I feel they need it most and I won't deter them from showing whatever affection they want to show as long as I feel it is not inappropriate...if my two year old son wants a kiss, I would never turn him away.
                  So if my son wants to kiss my lips and I give him a hug that is denying affection? He wouldn't come at me that way because he won't even get used to doing that.

                  So if your son is a teenager and he still wants to kiss you on the mouth you would be cool with that?
                  Concrete evidence/videos please

                  Comment

                  • Trevytrev11
                    MVP
                    • Nov 2006
                    • 3259

                    #69
                    Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

                    Originally posted by DC
                    So if my son wants to kiss my lips and I give him a hug that is denying affection?
                    To a two year old it may come across that way. I guess it depends what they are used to. But if he gets a kiss from his mother, but his dad turns him away, I could see the kid feeling rejected. What if your kid ran to you with his arms open for a hug and instead you patted him on the head? I guess it'd be the same feeling to that kid. How would you feel if your parent treated you different than the others. Do you think a 2 year old knows the difference between being a man vs. being a lady? They're just kids, they won't understand any of that.

                    Originally posted by DC
                    So if your son is a teenager and he still wants to kiss you on the mouth you would be cool with that?
                    I'm not worried about this because I know it will work itself out. Every kid goes through the stage where it is no longer cool to kiss their parents in front of friends and we'll find our way to express ourselves whether it's through a bear hug, a hand shake or what.

                    I can remember when my mom used to drop me off at school and steal a kiss before I left. Eventually I turned away from them. So we made a deal that we did it before we left the house when no one could see. With my dad it turned into a hug, but that was my choice because of what was and wasn't cool at that time.

                    Kisses and hugs, IMO are much more important to kids early one when they are learning how to give and receive love and develop. I can sit down with my teenager (or my first grader) and explain why we should or shouldn't do something. I can't have that conversation with my 2 year old. I can't explain to them why I can't give them what they are asking for, they would just feel rejected, IMO.
                    Last edited by Trevytrev11; 10-19-2009, 11:42 AM.

                    Comment

                    • DC
                      Hall Of Fame
                      • Oct 2002
                      • 17996

                      #70
                      Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

                      Well my son will know it isn't cool to kiss daddy at age 1
                      Concrete evidence/videos please

                      Comment

                      • TheLetterZ
                        All Star
                        • Jul 2002
                        • 6752

                        #71
                        Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

                        Let's leave race out of this discussion.

                        Comment

                        • DC
                          Hall Of Fame
                          • Oct 2002
                          • 17996

                          #72
                          Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

                          How does this look?
                          Concrete evidence/videos please

                          Comment

                          • Trevytrev11
                            MVP
                            • Nov 2006
                            • 3259

                            #73
                            Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

                            Like a happy family and a dad that loves his daugther...period.

                            Just like this:

                            [img/]http://cache1.asset-cache.net/xc/813...FD13ED7B73D4BC[/img]
                            Last edited by Trevytrev11; 10-19-2009, 11:51 AM.

                            Comment

                            • DC
                              Hall Of Fame
                              • Oct 2002
                              • 17996

                              #74
                              Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

                              And this?
                              Concrete evidence/videos please

                              Comment

                              • mgoblue
                                Go Wings!
                                • Jul 2002
                                • 25477

                                #75
                                Re: 2 part question for those with kids.

                                I don't remember if my mom ever kissed me on the lips, but I just remember kisses on the cheek as I got older (and I'd protest those because it was deathly embarrassing for an 8 year old to be kissed by mom in front of people!)

                                I think my Dad did kisses on the cheek when i was really young, but as I got older we'd just hug...I dunno, even now I don't kiss my Dad on the cheek at all, we just hug if I was visiting and leaving...Moms are more for hugging and cheek kisses. I think it's just different for dad/son as they get older, before they're 5ish who cares...

                                Can't imagine kissing either parent on the lips, I guess I associate that more as romantic/sexual vs. friendly.
                                Nintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-7009-7102-8818

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