Your brain fart(s) of the day

[Majingir]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

After a few seconds, I realized what stupidity I have done and decided not to get it back.

*Throws plate away*

"Hey! You threw the plate away!"

"I know"

"And...don't you want to get that plate back?"

"No! This is a reminder. Stupidity shouldn't go unpunished."

"Nobody will ever know...."

"I'll know!"

I'm notorious 'round these parts for throwing silverware away. I've tried to blame it on the maid for stealing said silverware, problem is we have no maid.

and when that was pointed out to me, I said and that's because we had to let her go for taking that silverware.
no dice, didn't work

"Why do you have 5 forks, 6 spoons but only 2 knives"

"Um...the maid took it."

"You don't have a maid"

"Exactly"

*Slowly puts the knives away*

[Caulfield]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

thought I was going to get in a brouhaha coming out of a local eatery last night. as I approached the door to leave I notice through the glass door another fella about to come in. so in this age of social distancing and out of an abundance of caution I decide to let him go ahead and enter first. but as I await, he stops and apparently does the same. so I go on and try to leave again but this fool decides he'll enter too at the same time. so I wait again but so does he. now I'm just getting mad and start to leave again but instead repeat the same dance with this idiot for another probably ten seconds before I realise the other fella coming in is my reflection.

[Blzer]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

thought I was going to get in a brouhaha coming out of a local eatery last night. as I approached the door to leave I notice through the glass door another fella about to come in. so in this age of social distancing and out of an abundance of caution I decide to let him go ahead and enter first. but as I await, he stops and apparently does the same. so I go on and try to leave again but this fool decides he'll enter too at the same time. so I wait again but so does he. now I'm just getting mad and start to leave again but instead repeat the same dance with this idiot for another probably ten seconds before I realise the other fella coming in is my reflection.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wT9FxN1MDTc" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Majingir]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

thought I was going to get in a brouhaha coming out of a local eatery last night. as I approached the door to leave I notice through the glass door another fella about to come in. so in this age of social distancing and out of an abundance of caution I decide to let him go ahead and enter first. but as I await, he stops and apparently does the same. so I go on and try to leave again but this fool decides he'll enter too at the same time. so I wait again but so does he. now I'm just getting mad and start to leave again but instead repeat the same dance with this idiot for another probably ten seconds before I realise the other fella coming in is my reflection.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wT9FxN1MDTc" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

https://youtu.be/Nnw2nG4I6I4

[Blzer]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

https://youtu.be/Nnw2nG4I6I4

Yeah, that's a better analogy. I couldn't think up one on the spot, so I just thought of something when it actually is another person, haha.

[Majingir]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

*I walk into a store, past a staff member at the entrance*

Them: Would you like a cart?

*I turn around*

Me: No Thanks.

(Turns out they were asking someone else, so I proceeded to continue walking as fast as I could away from them)

[Majingir]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

For context, I was expecting a call from my bank today to discuss something I wanted to do.

*Phone rings, caller ID shows my bank*

Person: Hello, may I speak to (name)?

Me: Yes, this is him.

Person: Great. I see that you wanted to speak to us about (banking stuff) today. Let me just pull up your file.......Oh, sorry, I realized I called you (some other name) just now.

Me: Oh.....

A double brain fart. They were calling for me, but called me a different name at the beginning. I was expecting a call, and didn't even bother to realize they called me a different name and just instantly said they're talking to the right person.

[Caulfield]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

file this one under TMI:

Spoiler

woke up earlier this morn, still heavily sleep, nowhere near full awake, to tinkle.

waay too sleepy to even stand, so I sit just to tinkle. after about 10-15 seconds I realise my feet are getting soaking wet as I'm putting absolutely nothing in the bowl

that was enough to completely wake me up then lol

[Caulfield]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

and file this one under The Further Restroom Misadventures of Caulfield:

I just can't seem to win for losing.

left out of Paula Deen's in Pigeon Forge a little while ago but stopped off in their restroom before I walked out.
saw another person coming through to the restrooms so I politely held the door open for them to enter.
only to realise it was a woman going into the women's restroom.

double whammy, brain fert/faux pas

[Majingir]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

I was outside and my back towards the fence while I was doing something.

Neighbour: Hey mister, do you mind helping me for a second?

Me: Sure.

*Turn around*

Nobody's there. They weren't talking to me. They were in their yard talking to someone else. I'm hoping they didn't hear my response, but they probably did.

[Blzer]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

I just held an automatic door open for someone.

I gotta eat something.

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[LambertandHam]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

Was grabbing something at WalMart, had a gift card for it. I ring the item up, then the gift card, wondering why it wasn't taking. Turns out I didn't hit "Pay" first and the register thought I was buying the gift card too instead.

[l3ulvl]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

I just held an automatic door open for someone.

I gotta eat something.

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this probly isn't a brain fart but it's auto door related, I set the alarm off when I went through the door at the store, so I pulled back and waited for someone to check my receipt.

no one came. There were people sitting around on benches being like "just go, man", but they weren't workers. I want the "all clear" from someone to let me know I'm good to go

I'm standing around like "um hello?" finally I started running my cart though the detector over and over so the alarm would go off continuously lol, finally the U Scan worker waives to me, but she didn't really waive, her hand was steady, like a stop signal. She stares at me like she's saying "just go!" but her hand signal was to stop! I say "am I good? are you sure" and everyone was annoyed with me

but it's like, if I ran though the door after the alarm went off they might've thought I was legit stealing

[Blzer]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

this probly isn't a brain fart but it's auto door related, I set the alarm off when I went through the door at the store, so I pulled back and waited for someone to check my receipt.

no one came. There were people sitting around on benches being like "just go, man", but they weren't workers. I want the "all clear" from someone to let me know I'm good to go

I'm standing around like "um hello?" finally I started running my cart though the detector over and over so the alarm would go off continuously lol, finally the U Scan worker waives to me, but she didn't really waive, her hand was steady, like a stop signal. She stares at me like she's saying "just go!" but her hand signal was to stop! I say "am I good? are you sure" and everyone was annoyed with me

but it's like, if I ran though the door after the alarm went off they might've thought I was legit stealing

I'm the same. I'm too honest at a store, haha.

Sometimes I feel guilty when I leave a store not having purchased something. Not guilty that I didn't make a purchase, but in making them think that I was stealing something in the process haha.

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[Blzer]

Re: Your brain fart(s) of the day

Was grabbing something at WalMart, had a gift card for it. I ring the item up, then the gift card, wondering why it wasn't taking. Turns out I didn't hit "Pay" first and the register thought I was buying the gift card too instead.


[emoji38]

I thought I had a scheme down where I could buy a gift card with a gift card.

It was where Jamba Juice gave you something like a $30 gift card value for $25 or something, so I had this whole idea in place... and I can't remember what it was anymore.

Bottom line, you can't do it haha.

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