Should there be privacy within a marriage?
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
Well I can list several times I like privacy. First off - when I'm taking a dump, I'm a fan of the door closed and people not trying to talk to me. I like my privacy there.
I also like having some privacy at home sometimes to just relax and play a game or do some studying. It sure can suck having people around you all the time and never having a minute to yourself.
I have my own bank account and one benefit is I can buy my wife something without her seeing every charge that goes through...
etc, etc, etc.
Privacy isn't just a verbal thing, it can be a physical thing. It's not just about talking and sharing every little thing, it's also about having time to yourself and not having someone around you all the time.
Everyone needs some privacy in their lives; and I'd say anyone saying they don't is a liar to either others or to themselves.
I agree the notion that my wife is my best friend, I can tell her anything. If my friends tell me something, they can assume that she will know as well.
I just must be different, but I can't imagine my marriage if my wife and I kept our computer passwords, etc. all a big secret. That just seems weird to me. To each his own, I guess.Comment
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
Yeah, there is a difference between telling your wife you are taking a dump and having her hold your hand while you do it. Of course I don't need her in there, but I wouldn't have a problem telling her I was going to the bathroom.
I agree the notion that my wife is my best friend, I can tell her anything. If my friends tell me something, they can assume that she will know as well.
I just must be different, but I can't imagine my marriage if my wife and I kept our computer passwords, etc. all a big secret. That just seems weird to me. To each his own, I guess.
She knows MANY embarrassing stories, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We laugh at each other all the time.Twitter - WTF_OS
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
Agree completely. I can't imagine a "secret" marriage. We share everything, and she is my best friend. For those saying "What happens when you tell those things, and she leaves later on down the road?" Well.... I don't see my life without her. I know that things can change for the worse, but I'm not holding back on the assumption of "if" this happens. My wife is my best friend.
She knows MANY embarrassing stories, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We laugh at each other all the time.Comment
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
The reality is: if I can't find someone that agrees with my few minor annoyances then I won't get married. So I have no problem being single for life because I already know that dropping the three or four things that I must have in any relationship will only result in me being unhappy. No thanks."It may well be that we spectators, who are not divinely gifted as athletes, are the only ones able to truly see, articulate and animate the experience of the gift we are denied. And that those who receive and act out the gift of athletic genius must, perforce, be blind and dumb about it -- and not because blindness and dumbness are the price of the gift, but because they are its essence." - David Foster Wallace
"You'll not find more penny-wise/pound-foolish behavior than in Major League Baseball." - Rob NeyerComment
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
I like a little free space, my wife and I share all $$ but, I usually sneak a little $$ aside every month for her Bday, and chrismas presents.Gaming hard since 1988
I have won like 25 Super Bowls in Madden so I am kinda a big deal.Comment
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
My wife knows every purchase I make, everything I do, etc. I keep nothing from her, as she doesn't keep anything from me. We do bills together with receipts weekly. November/December we use a credit card for Christmas which we pay off right after Christmas every year so there's no finding out about gifts, etc.
We've been open from the start on all topics and it's allowed us to be together for 13 years now, as happy as we were 13 years ago.
Once you hide one thing, it snowballs, and eventually will catch up with you IMO.Comment
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
My wife and I have one joint account and 20% of our income goes into each of our "fun money" accounts. I can spend that on stupid stuff like video games or sports stuff.
We do have privacy, I don't walk in on her pooping and I keep the computer pr0n to myself.Proud member of the OS Bills Backers.
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
honestly its all dependant upon the security and trust of a marriage. I made a thread a while ago about flirting and going to far. I admitted that i like to look at boobs, but my wife from jump street has alway known that i tell her anything. if she wants to get on my facebook she can or my email , my cell phone i don't care i have nothing to hide. we share bank accounts and while it does suck sometimes when i want to buy her something i just take money out.
i must say when it comes to exes it can be touchy especially if they were in the picture when you and your wife started dating.
my wife and I have been together for thirteen years married for almost nine. she is my buddyComment
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
My wife knows every purchase I make, everything I do, etc. I keep nothing from her, as she doesn't keep anything from me. We do bills together with receipts weekly. November/December we use a credit card for Christmas which we pay off right after Christmas every year so there's no finding out about gifts, etc.
We've been open from the start on all topics and it's allowed us to be together for 13 years now, as happy as we were 13 years ago.
Once you hide one thing, it snowballs, and eventually will catch up with you IMO.
I think if you have issues sharing everything you do with your partner you are probably not ready to get married. Complete honesty is the only way marriages can successfully work in the long term imo and i personally wouldn't want it any other way. There is nothing worng with still wanting your own private space (i still love it when i have the house to myself occasionally so i can hog the big tv playing games and generally lounge around like a slob) but keeping secrets ain't healthy imo.
I think people getting married before they are truly ready to commit + marrying for the wrong reasons (aka money) are why the divorce rates are so high.
Jnofx said every married person he knows is miserable where as i generally find the opposite is true in my circles. Sure divorces etc still happen but most of the married people i know are very happy and lead full, interesting lives. I have several single friends who are lonely and wish they had found the right person but it just hasn't happened for whatever reason.
Both being single and married can be great fun, it's just how you look at it and make sure you select the right woman (easier said than done) but I personally love being married and don't miss my single days at all.Last edited by Jonesy; 01-19-2010, 07:41 PM.Comment
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
Me and my future wife(little more than year away). Been together a while now, been living together for right at 5 years. When we got into the relationship we both agreed no secrets PERIOD. Privacy like taking a crap with the door closed is completely different than what is being insinuated here. You should hide nothing with your spouse. All it will do is start a issue and then that issue compounds into a much larger situation than it should of ever been.
Also we both agreed on our own checking accounts and then a joint savings account. Reason being is we both work hard for our money and if she wants to go out and buy 2 pair of shoes then so be it. She should not have to ask my permission if the bills are paid and money is being saved. Same thing goes on my end, when I want a new game. I go buy it, period. Finance battles can turn into a divorce quickly. So I am a firm believer couples should discussed from the very beginning how they feel the money should be handled. We are just lucky enough we both agree we should be able to spend our money we make. We are adults and can handle the responsibility of paying bills, saving money, and not excessive spending.Last edited by Phobia; 01-20-2010, 01:59 PM.Comment
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
Secrets lead to trouble, imo. My wife and I have been together for nearly 11 years now and we have been open and honest with each other from the start.
It really is a key to a healthy relationship.Currently Playing:
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Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?
Now if a girl comes over and flirts with me, I am not running home to tell my girlfriend. First of all it provides ZERO benefit to the relationship and will only make her question why I am telling her that. If you are a honest person and she trust you, she should know u would not act on it.
I have a funny story about something similar to this. My girl trust me completely. Well for Downtown live, which is a huge party in Lafayette that has bands and people from around the world come and party. Basically like everything else in Louisiana it is another reason to get drunk.
Well this little bar we popped in to had these smoking hot bartenders. Well one was given me free drinks and was just talking up a storm with me. My buddy said "She keeps hitting on u like that Sherry is gonna get pissed". So to show him the trust we have. I called her over. I said "Sherry check this out, I am getting free drinks from this girl cause she has the hots for me". My boy was so surprised when she said "Well keep flirting, that way we don't have to pay for drinks". Hour or so we left and had no tab and I went home with my girlfriend happy and drunk as can be lol. End of story.Last edited by Phobia; 01-20-2010, 03:42 PM.Comment
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