Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

[MC Fatigue]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

I feel ya man, most women are straight whores.

stereotype much?

[Schism 6]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

I know I am going to sound like a horrible person in this post, but bare with me.

Your case, just like mine, is never open and shut. It all depends on what judge you get and what his feelings are on this case. Most judges sympathize with the woman regardless of their history. If your ex can clean herself up and look pretty and act like some innocent victim in front of the judge, you stand no chance.

The actual ruling on my sons case came down to what they called " Default" . Basically because I failed to show up for the custody hearing the first time, I forfieted my rights to my son. I had no way of knowing a court case was even scheduled since her mom signed a form saying that I was served custody paperwork. No person of legal stature had to serve me, just a witness saying I recieved paperwork ( which was her mom ). Now...I proved without a shadow of a doubt that there was no way possible I had been notified, but the judge didnt care.

Now...from a legal perspective...what the judge did was illegal and here is why. According to the date I was supposedly served, I was still active duty deployed overseas. There is a law called the Soldiers and Saliors Act or the Soldiers Relief Act that protects soldiers from civilian courts while they are overseas. This law is open and shut, but the judge decided to not follow it even though it was brought up.

When I tried to bring an appeal, I was informed that unless I was able to provide any " mitigating" circumstances that were not availiable at the first court hearing, then I had nothing to appeal the ruling off of. You cant appeal simply because you dont agree with the judge I found out.

Everyday for 8 years my ex has made my son hate me. My son will want to go to Universal or something for his birthday and his mom will have him call me and ask to go. I tell him that I will do my best and he gets excited. Tickets are about $70 each....

My ex then tells me that I need to send enough money to take my son ( 70) and her (140 ) then I need to send her husband ( 210 ) and his son from a previous marriage ( 280 ). They have 2 kids of their own that arent mine so I need to send money for the other kids (420) to go. This is on top of the fact they MAY need to stay in a hotel which is another 120ish (540) and of course food for the whole family ( 640 )

So what turns into a simple birthday turns into a $640 out of pocket cost...on top of the $500 a month I have already sent... Im not in a financial position to do it, I just cant...

So now I am forced to tell my son I cant send money for him to go and I am made to look like an evil person. Her husband has no problem carrying his son to Universal and mine isnt allowed to go, but if I want him to go, I have to pay for the entire family..

This has gone on for years. I no longer care. I have given up.

If your ex is as evil as mine has been....and it pains me to say this....let him go. You will never win if the court system sides with her.

It has taken me years to get to this point, but I came to realize that if she kept pushing me into a corner and making my son hate me on a daily basis, I would be in prison for the rest of my life because I would have killed her.

One day I stopped answering my phone. I have not talked to her or my son in about a year now and I am finally at a middle ground of peace. I send my money and thats it. No contact, no pictures, no birthdays, no Christmas...nothing anymore.

If she is as evil as you say, she will do everything to use the love of your son to fug your world up.

In 8 years I have never recovered financially from the diaster of her having my child. I now owe so much money and my credit is so bad that everytime I apply for any type of job Im qualified for, my background and credit check comes back to haunt me and its all because of that one bitz.

The only hope I have is that when my son is 18 and wants to come kick my azz for being such a deadbeat dad, that he will take the time to listen to my side of the story and pray to God he can find it in his heart to listen , forgive, and understand why things were the way they were.

I know exactly how you feel, words can't describe my daughters mother. My story is even more crazy than yours, believe it or not....

[Schism 6]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

stereotype much?

Look at the statistics, women have ALL the power when it comes to sex, so with our climbing pregnancy rates in the unwed, not to mention abortion and adoption numbers and yeah my stereotype is dead on.....

[kehlis]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

Look at the statistics, women have ALL the power when it comes to sex, so with our climbing pregnancy rates in the unwed, not to mention abortion and adoption numbers and yeah my stereotype is dead on.....

Nah...

Sounds more like bad rationalizing on your part.

[MC Fatigue]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

Look at the statistics, women have ALL the power when it comes to sex, so with our climbing pregnancy rates in the unwed, not to mention abortion and adoption numbers and yeah my stereotype is dead on.....

[Crimsontide27]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

No, I'm a retired cop. That's NOT how it works.

There is a requirement on the books due to an incident many years ago where the cops went to a domestic dispute (doesn't matter where, just as long as the two people in the dispute have a relationship) and just left thinking the dispute was settled. Well, ends up they went back a few hours a later and one of those two people had killed the other (can't remember if it was the man or women). There was a minor assault originally and the one assaulted had said they didn't want to press charges, so the cops left. You can't do that anymore.

So police are now OBLIGATED to arrest both parties when violence is used, or the threat of bodily harm is said. The cops hook them both up and tell them to "tell it to the judge", they don't have a choice. When things are thrown, that's assault. He said "she tried" to throw something? I'm just trying to figure this out because initially it was just the "b" word, now it's an assault and I'm not sure if she just "tried", or didn't, but he did.


Just something missing here, if we're going to really try to come to some conclusion on this story.

Not to doubt you in the least bit, but regardless wether it is a law or not, thats not how it works in the real world in most places.

My ex was mad because I wouldnt take her back, hit me over 20 times in the legs and chest and finally made it to my face and busted my nose and lip before I had enough. Told her if she ever hit me in the face again I was gonna knock her azz out. 4 hours later the police were at my door because she called them and said I "beat" her.

I still had blood clots stuck in my nose and a cut lip.....she didnt have a red mark on her. I was arrested for assualt for " striking her" even though there was zero evidence that she was touched ( which she wasnt ) .

I sat in jail for 2 days before I could get the correct change for bail money. She sat at home , slept in the bed, and went to my house and vandalized my car while I was in jail.

She told me she did it, I called the police....was told there was nothing they could do since there was no evidence. Asked them why there was no evidence needed to lock me up for " beating her ", yet they couldnt arrest her for causing $4000 damage to my car.

Was told to shut up cuz that was the way it was. Told him to 'F### off" and was immediatly re-arrested and thrown back in jail to post bail for public profanity.

When it comes to women versus men when it comes to the police and justice system, men are screwed. Doesnt matter what the " LAW " is , as most police pick and choose what to follow and when they want to follow it.

[Scottdau]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

There is one difference, you can hurt her, can she hurt you? And if she can then you need to not be alone with her. I haven't seen too many cases where a guy is not able to stop a women from beating him, but maybe in your case it was different. I have seen more cases where the woman can't stop the guy from beating them. Strength plays a big factor and most men are way stronger than their women. Also I think you need to learn to be quiet with cops. Don't even talk to them even if you are given a bad time by them. The best thing to do is call a lawyer or just keep your mouth shut. That would be my advice. Also that is what my friend's dad told me many years ago. He was a judge.

[Crimsontide27]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

There is one difference, you can hurt her, can she hurt you? And if she can then you need to not be alone with her. I haven't seen too many cases where a guy is not able to stop a women from beating him, but maybe in your case it was different. I have seen more cases where the woman can't stop the guy from beating them. Strength plays a big factor and most men are way stronger than their women. Also I think you need to learn to be quiet with cops. Don't even talk to them even if you are given a bad time by them. The best thing to do is call a lawyer or just keep your mouth shut. That would be my advice. Also that is what my friend's dad told me many years ago. He was a judge.

In order to stop a female from beating on you, at some point you have to touch them. That was something I wanted to avoid more than anything. No way was I going to grab her arms or wrists and try to restrain her and then she turn around and say I was abusing her and point out that her wrists or forearms were red.

I could write a novel about all these situations because there is so much more to it...but it has been a living hell for me with this one girl. I live over 2000 miles away from her, havent seen her in 8 years, and yet I am still hounded on a bi-annual basis by this bit##.

Her recent husband got so sick of her crap that he wanted a way out and didnt know what to do. He started sleeping on the couch to avoid her after work. Guess who called the police and said he raped her? Guess who lost their job? Guess who sat in jail with zero evidence? Guess how many news articles have been written in his town? Guess who is not getting custody of the kids? Take a wild guess at who do you think will owe a crapton of child support? Guess who has death threats on them for raping their " innocent" wife?

Now guess who gets to sit on their tail at home and collect welfare? Guess who sits at home and gets cash aid ? Guess who is the darling of the small town because she has been abused? Guess who has the sympathy of everyone because she is a small tiny pretty latino girl and her husband is the big bad wolf?

[jim416]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

Not to doubt you in the least bit, but regardless wether it is a law or not, thats not how it works in the real world in most places.

I'll back out now, but you are wrong. Police Departments, due to liability issues, have specific guidelines that they follow and they follow them. Any officer deciding to let a true domestic violence call slide, or not handle it properly is in deep trouble. That's how it works in the real world.

[dopeboy206]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

There is no Violence in my case it was a dispute, mostly verbals. I still went to jail. That right there made me lose faith in the justice system. The law favors women and I agree with Crimson that females have the upper hand.

[jim416]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

You're changing your story. You said things were thrown, that's an assault whether it hits the person, or not. Battery is an actual physical contact if something thrown does hit a person.

One more time. What was the charge against you? I'm curious, you must know the penal code section as verbal disputes are NOT arrestable domestic violence offenses unless you make a specific physical threat against a person that puts that person in fear or a reasonable expectation that you can carry out the threat. You are a "B" does not fit into that. I'm gonna come back later tonight and beat the crap out of you does.

The law does NOT favor females and they do NOT have the upper hand. That is pure bunk. Sorry.
I'm interested in this, but don't think you're being completely forthright, and this time I WILL back out for good.

Later.

[dopeboy206]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

You're changing your story. You said things were thrown, that's an assault whether it hits the person, or not. Battery is an actual physical contact if something thrown does hit a person.

One more time. What was the charge against you? I'm curious, you must know the penal code section as verbal disputes are NOT arrestable domestic violence offenses unless you make a specific physical threat against a person that puts that person in fear or a reasonable expectation that you can carry out the threat. You are a "B" does not fit into that. I'm gonna come back later tonight and beat the crap out of you does.

The law does NOT favor females and they do NOT have the upper hand. That is pure bunk. Sorry.
I'm interested in this, but don't think you're being completely forthright, and this time I WILL back out for good.

Later.

Im not denying things were being thrown cause they were but it was mainly verbal just cause I didn't add it the 2nd time doesn't mean I am swtching it up.All I'm saying was it was mostly verbals. So even if I didn't hit her it's still assault? I told the cops the same thing she said except that she threw objects first how come I went to jail instead? I'll tell you why. It's because I talked back to him. Also because she was a women and they (2 cops) gave her benefit of the doubt.

[aholbert32]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

There is no Violence in my case it was a dispute, mostly verbals. I still went to jail. That right there made me lose faith in the justice system. The law favors women and I agree with Crimson that females have the upper hand.

What does "mostly" verbal mean? Either there was all verbal and no violence or it there was some violence and/or physical contact?

[dopeboy206]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

What does "mostly" verbal mean? Either there was all verbal and no violence or it there was some violence and/or physical contact?

To be more specific when I say mostly meaning it was 90% verbal. There was no violence whatsoever unless you consider throwing and missing is violence/assault like the ex cop said.

Here is a breakdown:

She initiated the first pitch with a cellphone, I countered back with a empty glass cup of beer, both missed. She started talkin sh** and threw her shoes at me but missed so I responded back with a bowl of nachos but also missed. I told the cops what happened but he wasn't trying to hear me out cause she called them and they wanted to side with her. I felt that I was already guilty in their books despite me telling them my story. One cop even came up to me and said "don't think you're macho man and get away with it we won't tolerate your bull**** and that's when I started to talk back because I was trying to explain my story but neither of the 2 cops would listen to me. I ain't tryna make anyone side with me but I totally agree with what homeboy said about females having the upper hand when it comes to these domestic disputes.

[Knight165]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

To be more specific when I say mostly meaning it was 90% verbal. There was no violence whatsoever unless you consider throwing and missing is violence/assault like the ex cop said.

Here is a breakdown:

She initiated the first pitch with a cellphone, I countered back with a empty glass cup of beer, both missed. She started talkin sh** and threw her shoes at me but missed so I responded back with a bowl of nachos but also missed. I told the cops what happened but he wasn't trying to hear me out cause she called them and they wanted to side with her. I felt that I was already guilty in their books despite me telling them my story. One cop even came up to me and said "don't think you're macho man and get away with it we won't tolerate your bull**** and that's when I started to talk back because I was trying to explain my story but neither of the 2 cops would listen to me. I ain't tryna make anyone side with me but I totally agree with what homeboy said about females having the upper hand when it comes to these domestic disputes.

Look....you've had enough troubles with this...but this is SO not what you stated and reiterated...repeatedly.

There was assault....

Assault/Battery

In most states, an assault/battery is committed when one person 1) tries to or does physically strike another, or 2) acts in a threatening manner to put another in fear of immediate harm. Many states declare that a more serious or "aggravated" assault/battery occurs when one 1) tries to or does cause severe injury to another, or 2) causes injury through use of a deadly weapon. Historically, laws treated the threat of physical injury as "assault", and the completed act of physical contact or offensive touching as "battery," but many states no longer differentiate between the two.

You should have filed a complaint.

M.K.
Knight165