Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

[PVarck31]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

Im not denying things were being thrown cause they were but it was mainly verbal just cause I didn't add it the 2nd time doesn't mean I am swtching it up.All I'm saying was it was mostly verbals. So even if I didn't hit her it's still assault? I told the cops the same thing she said except that she threw objects first how come I went to jail instead? I'll tell you why. It's because I talked back to him. Also because she was a women and they (2 cops) gave her benefit of the doubt.

Im not trying to be a jerk here, but the way you described what went down, you deserved to be arrested. You never get into it with a cop. You will NEVER win. That being said, I still really hope you get your son back.

[Schism 6]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

If he deserved it so did she....

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

If he deserved it so did she....

Agreed. Both should have been put in jail.

either both go or no one.

[MassNole]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

Rules say I can't solicit business.....you figure the rest or someone could explain that.

[sb24]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

^^^^^ translation..... Go get a lawyer.

[MassNole]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

Further a lawyer in MASSachusetts of course where the child lives.
NOw LEt me ask, does she live in Boston or another town?

[Brandwin]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

Further a lawyer in MASSachusetts of course where the child lives.
NOw LEt me ask, does she live in Boston or another town?

Nice!

Send MassNole a PM and exchange some information.

[p_rushing]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

are you going to give him an OS discount? is Steve going to get a finders fee?

[yankeesgiants]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

To be more specific when I say mostly meaning it was 90% verbal. There was no violence whatsoever unless you consider throwing and missing is violence/assault like the ex cop said.

Here is a breakdown:

She initiated the first pitch with a cellphone, I countered back with a empty glass cup of beer, both missed. She started talkin sh** and threw her shoes at me but missed so I responded back with a bowl of nachos but also missed. I told the cops what happened but he wasn't trying to hear me out cause she called them and they wanted to side with her. I felt that I was already guilty in their books despite me telling them my story. One cop even came up to me and said "don't think you're macho man and get away with it we won't tolerate your bull**** and that's when I started to talk back because I was trying to explain my story but neither of the 2 cops would listen to me. I ain't tryna make anyone side with me but I totally agree with what homeboy said about females having the upper hand when it comes to these domestic disputes.

My brother went through a similar situation as yours except without the excess kids and got custody and yes it was in Boston. Can you win custody? YES. BUT, you need to be prepared for all out war. My brother and I set out plan to 5 year plan to get custody. The goal was to have custody by 9th grade. He actually got him a year earlier. The first step for him was to finally blame himself and not others. If you want to know how we did it let me know.

[funky_chicken]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

I am sorry to hear about the two situations, dopeboy206 and Crimsontide27. Disgusting what those women have put you guys through. Then people wonder why I am still single. It is because of evil women like that. Dopeboy206, I wish you the best. Hopefully you get custody of your son.

[dopeboy206]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

To massnole: She lives in Lowell about 45 minutes west of Beantown and just south of New Hamsphire.

And thank you for the support Funky Chicken

[dopeboy206]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

My brother went through a similar situation as yours except without the excess kids and got custody and yes it was in Boston. Can you win custody? YES. BUT, you need to be prepared for all out war. My brother and I set out plan to 5 year plan to get custody. The goal was to have custody by 9th grade. He actually got him a year earlier. The first step for him was to finally blame himself and not others. If you want to know how we did it let me know.

Please share. I need the best advice as possible from people who been thru this or know someone who has.

[AnArtofWar]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

It sounds like you have a good chance...I am sure with a good lawyer you have an amazing chance from what seems to have happened, with the word of her sister on the 2 day leave...if you have proof of him being there for 2 years...and the lawyer can make it seem like what you did years back means nothing, which I am sure it is, seeing as you were 18 and made some bad choices...and of course showing she has been a bad mother and such.

Read the whole thread now..and man Crimson that is some sad stuff..hopefully what you wish to happen does happen at the very least. It still amazes me sometimes how messed up the judicial system is...and how ordinary it is for such evil people to roam this world.

[yankeesgiants]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

Please share. I need the best advice as possible from people who been thru this or know someone who has.

A little backround on the situation. My brother had some assaults on his record in his past and his sons mother had a drug problem and was just a lazy person. They were no longer together at this point and had not been for many years. They were going to put his son in foster care. My brothers attitude was that he is paying x,y,z, amont of money and that she was supposed to be doing the right thing. He failed to see that the situation was his fault. It's his fault because the court didn't even consider him a viable option. My mother has been placing kids in daycare for 30 years and has some connections with the state. Because of this, my nephew was not placed in foster care. This was going to be call to arms, and here is what we did:

Preliminary things that you need to do if not done:

Birth Certificate:

If it's not signed, get it signed! You have no skin in the game without your name on the certificate. she actually fought him on this for the first 4 years of his life. He finally got it signed after multiple trips to court.

Child Support:

If your not signed up for it, sign up for it! It leaves a trail but as long as your paying and paying ON TIME, this should not be a issue.

Here was the plan and how we pulled it off:

Getting a Career:

My brother need to get a meaningful job. No more entry level bouncing around. He got his CDL and started driving trucks. This showed the court that he was serious about what he is doing. It showed stable employment which the court is looking for.

Increased Child Support payments:

My brother knew that she would not ever work and was basically living off his payments. She would drag him into court all the time for increased payments for sh**s and giggles. I convinced him to not fight the increases, just pay the extra money. It worked out in his favor in the long run.

Court arranged visitation:

No excuses! He had to make each and every visit. This is important because the judge was going to ask the kid who he wanted to live with. My brother and his son did everything together and she did nothing with him.

Doumentation:

Document any and everything. keep your receipts and take lots of pictures and video of you interacting with your child. All of it matters.

Drugs/Illegal activity:

If your using or dealing, you need to get clean. My brother was a major weed head to the point that he could not work because he cound't pass a drug test. That CDL made him kick the habit because they will test you if you get in a accident.

Friends:

If you have shaddy friends or people who arent positive around you, got to get rid of them. This was hard for my brother but he understood that these people played a large part in his problems. In custody cases, you cant have any slipups or any distractions. As a man your margin for error is less then zero.

Stable home/relationship:

This was the game changer that flipped things in my brothers favor. he was able to show the court that he was in a long term relationship. his then girlfriend now his wife had 2 kids from a pervious marriage. They did things as a family. The stable home was HUGE factor in him getting custody. Each of the kids had there own bedrooms. That is the first question the judge asks you.

Confrontation/Conflicts:

Avoid it at all cost! You have have to learn to walk away. Dont argue, just get up a leave. That's a battle you cant win.

Watching your kid fail:

This kills you but in order for you to get custody, it has to happen. You CANT be a crutch for her bad behavior. My nephew was missing 60+ days of school and failing. You do what you can do but unless he is under your roof, you really cant control this. You can save a kids up to age 12/13. After that, it's a crapshoot. That is why we locked in at the age. My nephew was a great kid in a bad environment which we all knew. My brother's girlfriends kids were both honor roll students. This was another HUGE win for my brother in the courtroom.

Deconstructing her plan of attack:

This was the easy part because her plan after years of court battles has never changed from day 1. Her attack was my brother is violent and unfit. He of course would take the bait and get in a screaming match in the courtroom. It was going to take disapline and self sacrafice to defeat her but he held the line and pulled it off.

The attacks she used and the counter moves we used :

Attack: Bringing up your past arrests
Counter: Get anything you can expunged from your record. It's hard to do but try your best.

Attack: Pushing your buttons to get a reaction
Counter: Say okay and just walk way or hang up the phone. Dont argue and dont get physical in any way!!

Attack: Trying to deny him visitation with excuses and trying to get a reaction out of him when he went to pick up his son.
Counter: We started to use a police escort to pick up and drop off his son. Her face was priceless when we started doing this.

Attack: He came over my house this day and hit me.
Counter: This was hard to beat because of his past but technology is your friend. His work truck has GPS on it so it tracks his whereabouts. We also got it put on his car and his girlfriends car. We took screenshots of the TV with him and the kids in front of it on the hour after he got home from work similar to these to verify his whereabouts:




The victory:

She was reduced to rubble, nothing but the lying empty suit we always knew she was. We had all of these things plus school records, DSS statements, and the reccomendation of a phycolagist. We really never made personal attacks on her in the courtroom. We let her situation speak for itself. All we need now was for his son to say "I want to live with my dad". Once he told that to the judge, it was over. Victory was ours.

Custody battles in general:

It's a war. Nothing is off the table. she will use everything against you. The key is to have everything in place first. Since DSS is involved in your case, you need to get your "stuff" together ASAP!!! Your going to suffer a few setbacks but dont let it deter you. Stay on the ball!! You cant allow to manipulate you in any way. In fact you need to have this mentality going into the courtroom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3J2zudcnYkY

[dopeboy206]

Re: Do I Have A Shot At Getting Custody Of My Kid? (Serious Topic)

Yankeesgiants I love you man! No Homo.