Help me help myself

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  • ODogg
    Hall Of Fame
    • Feb 2003
    • 37953

    #46
    Re: Help me help myself

    Oh and you really need to check out this thread I created, a lot of great advice in here. This was back when I was not having much luck with women myself.

    http://www.operationsports.com/forum...y-get-one.html

    Plenty of reading there, about 500+ posts in that thread.
    Streaming PC & PS5 games, join me most nights after 6:00pm ET on TwitchTV https://www.twitch.tv/shaunh20
    or Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@shaunh741

    Comment

    • HotSauce2k3
      MVP
      • Nov 2002
      • 1848

      #47
      Re: Help me help myself

      Honestly the facial hair thing depends on the girl. I've been girls that preferred one or the other.

      Comment

      • Beantown
        #DoYourJob
        • Feb 2005
        • 31523

        #48
        Re: Help me help myself

        The fact that ODogg is now the one giving dating/picking up women advice scares the **** out of me and makes me feel rather confident that I can get a damn good girl once I figure out my own **** and get back out there again.

        No offense meant, ODogg, either...just saying if you went from where you were when you started that thread to dishing out advice, anyone can do it with the right attitude.

        Comment

        • Marino
          Moderator
          • Jan 2008
          • 18113

          #49
          Re: Help me help myself

          Hey man, we've all been there, you just have to not care as much about what others think. Be yourself, go out with friends you are comfortable with, that'll help you a lot. Keep expectations reasonable, don't worry about being rejected, that **** happens to all of us.

          Originally posted by Husker_OS
          Just go up and talk to them. I promise they won't bite your head off or get pissed you approached them. They may be disinterested, but who gives a damn? Move on to the next one.


          Get a friend you can go to the bars with. Use the "Have you met Ted?" line. I tell everyone who asks me for advice on this topic about this particular line. It NEVER fails.

          All you do is find 2 girls that you and your friend want to talk to. Whichever one your friend wants to talk to, you go up to her and say, "hey, have you met {insert friends name}?". 99% of the time, she'll say no and introduce herself to your friend. Then you introduce yourself to her friend.


          Meeting girls is simple. Finding one who isn't crazy is the hard part.
          This guy right here is very helpful, he has helped me a good bit when I was going through something similarly. Don't be bashful, you can talk to a lot of guys on here who will help, lord knows how much help Jason (Dickdalewood), Bob (Bluengold) and Husker here have been to me.

          It's just all about keeping things in perspective. Do the whole fake it until you make it.

          Comment

          • Marino
            Moderator
            • Jan 2008
            • 18113

            #50
            Re: Help me help myself

            Originally posted by Beantown
            The fact that ODogg is now the one giving dating/picking up women advice scares the **** out of me and makes me feel rather confident that I can get a damn good girl once I figure out my own **** and get back out there again.

            No offense meant, ODogg, either...just saying if you went from where you were when you started that thread to dishing out advice, anyone can do it with the right attitude.
            Next May it begins, we will be bagging them left and right.

            Comment

            • ODogg
              Hall Of Fame
              • Feb 2003
              • 37953

              #51
              Re: Help me help myself

              Originally posted by Beantown
              The fact that ODogg is now the one giving dating/picking up women advice scares the **** out of me and makes me feel rather confident that I can get a damn good girl once I figure out my own **** and get back out there again.

              No offense meant, ODogg, either...just saying if you went from where you were when you started that thread to dishing out advice, anyone can do it with the right attitude.
              Haha, that's why I hope this guy listens to me and my advice...because I have been single and dateless pretty much since high school but after listening to this David Wygant cat and some fellow OS'ers I'm like a different person with women. I realize about everything I was doing was wrong, acting too desperate, acting like the woman had all the power, thinking I wasn't capable of landing anything but the most homely, pudgy women, etc. Once I changed my attitude the entire scene changed.

              No offense to anyone out there but I heard so many lines that did not help at all. Stuff like "it'll happen, just give it time" - well that turned out to be nonsense, it can happen but you can't be completely waiting and not doing anything. Or how about "just be yourself"? That's the kick in the head to someone like myself, if you've been being yourself for years and it hasn't worked, how do you be "more of yourself"??

              That "be yourself" thing is the one thing that people would say that I used to really get annoyed by the longer I had no luck. Once I listened to Davids workshop I realized that yes you do be yourself but he tells you how to do it. And also, if by being yourself means doing the wrong thing, you need to be aware of it.

              One of the things I mean is that I'm shy but once I get to talking a little I tend to talk and talk and talk. I really think that was a big part of hurting my chances with women. I'd move in and establish a good rapport but then I'd talk too much about myself and just dominate the conversation. One of David's biggest tips about that was to quit thinking of what you're going to say next and instead just go with the flow of the conversation. Don't talk constantly about yourself either, ask a lot of questions of her and let her tell you about herself while throwing in some of your own info.

              Example of doing it "wrong":

              me: What's your favorite band?
              her: Well I like Nirvana and Stone Temple Pilots
              me: ahh cool, well mines Pink Floyd...blahblahblah

              Example of doing it "correctly":

              me: What's your favorite band?
              her: Well I like Nirvana and Stone Temple Pilots
              me: ahhh...fan of the 90's grunge scene eh?
              her: yes!! omg...blahblahblah

              And by all means when she turns around and ASKS you for your favorite band, at that point tell her. If she never asks, you move on. Keep a bit of mystery about yourself and let her know that you're more interested in knowing about her and less about telling her about you. The bottom line is really listen because most men when they talk to women really don't, they just don't listen and if a woman thinks "wow this guy really cares what I think, he's really listening to what I say" well then you're moving up in a major way in her book...
              Streaming PC & PS5 games, join me most nights after 6:00pm ET on TwitchTV https://www.twitch.tv/shaunh20
              or Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@shaunh741

              Comment

              • ANDROMADA 1
                So long to a Legend.
                • Dec 2008
                • 5024

                #52
                Re: Help me help myself

                I would just add, say something funny. Keep em laughing.

                Comment

                • Jano
                  You Dead Wrong
                  • May 2004
                  • 3161

                  #53
                  Re: Help me help myself

                  Originally posted by ODogg
                  Here is his website, ironically his blog today is about shy men: http://www.davidwygant.com/
                  I still got them files Odogg I will be bringing him the "good news" too as soon as I get them uploaded lol. And glad to see its helped you out man, I'm gonna break them out and start listening again too! Need to brush up for sure!
                  Last edited by Jano; 08-05-2011, 06:33 AM.

                  Comment

                  • OSUFan_88
                    Outback Jesus
                    • Jul 2004
                    • 25642

                    #54
                    Re: Help me help myself

                    While working out is good, it's not important. Let me just say that. I've had a friends who had no muscle and they can get chicks like nothing.

                    That being said, make sure you smile and be friendly but DO NOT be a friend. I cannot stress this enough, you have to be attentive and smile and be actively participating, but make damn sure you do not offer any advice. The minute she starts thinking of you as the friend, it's over.

                    That was constantly my problem. I'm not saying be a dick, but do not, do NOT be the friend. It's a hard rut to break out of and it's hard not to do that.

                    I guess my suggestion is be a friendly guy, but make your intentions known at the beginning.
                    Too Old To Game Club

                    Urban Meyer is lol.

                    Comment

                    • NDAlum
                      ND
                      • Jun 2010
                      • 11453

                      #55
                      Re: Help me help myself

                      It's not about muscles it's about confidence.

                      Working out and feeling better about your appearance is huge for personal confidence.

                      Those guys with no muscles who get girls: they already have confidence.
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                      • TheMatrix31
                        RF
                        • Jul 2002
                        • 52931

                        #56
                        Re: Help me help myself

                        Chicks are way, way, WAY too much work.

                        Comment

                        • TripleCrown9
                          Keep the Faith
                          • May 2010
                          • 23724

                          #57
                          Re: Help me help myself

                          I haven't attempted anything yet, but if a girl says no, am I supposed to keep trying or what's the protocol?
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                          • Marino
                            Moderator
                            • Jan 2008
                            • 18113

                            #58
                            Re: Help me help myself

                            Originally posted by SwampStomper90
                            I haven't attempted anything yet, but if a girl says no, am I supposed to keep trying or what's the protocol?
                            If she says no, move on.

                            Comment

                            • jeremym480
                              Speak it into existence
                              • Oct 2008
                              • 18198

                              #59
                              Re: Help me help myself

                              Originally posted by ANDROMADA 1
                              I would just add, say something funny. Keep em laughing.
                              This and I'll add always leave them wanting more. If your actually talking to a girl in a bar situation make small talk, be funny and listen. Also, remember sometimes it's just about "planting seeds" and by the law of averages you want to plant as many seeds as possible. If you're making small talk with a chick and you've seen her at that bar before then make contact and if you sense and awkward lull in the conversation then, move on. You'll likely see her again. You have to remember to always leave them wanting more. If there is no awkwardness then, you can work towards the next step of getting those digits.

                              - A few things I'd suggest is to try your best to forget about meeting women and just go out to have fun. If you go out just to try to get laid, then you will appear desperate. Seriously, women have some sort of sixth sense about picking up on that.
                              - Don't be a "wall flower". There's a hundred guys out there just like you. There's only one way to stand out and that's by actually speaking to them.
                              - Also, if you go out with a group of your friends then hang out with them but, also distant yourself from them at times. Shy girls are less likely to approach you if your in a group.
                              - When your at the bar or moving around smile at women. Hell, say" hello" or "how you doing?". Anything to break the ice. Breaking the ice is half the battle. Again talk to everyone. What's the worst that can happen?

                              That's all I've got for now. If you want anymore advice I'm going to have to start charging.
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                              • TripleCrown9
                                Keep the Faith
                                • May 2010
                                • 23724

                                #60
                                Re: Help me help myself

                                Well step 1 down. I shaved down from a full somewhat scraggly beard to a reasonable goatee.
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                                9 4 1 8 27 6 14 45 26 34

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