So I have this girl problem

[bichettehappens]

This is basically what I've been thinking. I don't think it would be the best idea to do the whole facebook thing but that's just me. However, if I do see her sometime soon, I'll try and see if I can make something happen.

I'm just curious, why don't you think the Facebook thing would be a good idea?

Since, as you said, you can't get her out of your head I don't see what you have to lose. Why leave it up to chance that you see her again and just continue to think about her and wonder in the meantime?

[Herky]

Re: So I have this girl problem

Never let a girl ruin your college experience. I made that mistake and lost a good year of school to a girl who was never right for me from the start. We dated for about a year and then moved in together which was a terrible move right before my senior year. I let my grades slip when we broke up, and ended up having to go another year (5 year plan) in order to graduate. Once I got her out of my life and my head (it wasn't easy) I felt great and had a blast that final year of school.

Have fun with your friends and enjoy the college life. It can be the best time of your life.

[Yeah...THAT Guy]

Re: So I have this girl problem

I hate to piggyback off of a thread, but there's no need in having 50 threads about women problems.

I've been on three dates with this girl and we get along great. We're sort of a "thing" but neither of us really are ready to give it a name. We talk daily and see each other once every few days and it's become more and more frequent. She's got a few "guy friends" and she refers to them as BFFs, even out in public like on Facebook. So it's not like she's just referring to them as BFFs to me. They don't hang out on the regular and usually just tag along when she goes out with her group of friends.

On the flip side, when I'm with my big group, there are some girls in the group that I consider good friends. I know my intentions are good and I trust that hers are too, but I've never been crazy about the "guy friends" crap. I know some guys put it down and say "Hell no", but I've had girlfriends who are way too damn jealous and I don't want to be the same way towards her, because she's been honest with me from the get go..

I may just be over thinking it, because I really do trust her about it. They even call each other bro and sis.. I've seen it on FaceBook. So, to get down to "brass tax" here.. do you guys think I'm doing the right thing by trusting her on it ? I know you don't know her personally and it's hard for you to get a great idea.. just looking for a bit of insight.

Edit: It's also worth mentioning that I've met them. She invited me to come with her over to the Lakeview District in Birmingham to hang out with her friends and they were there. She was really touchy feely with me in front of them and it didn't seem weird for any of them..

I've never been burnt on this sort of thing before, so I think I'm doing the right thing.

Agreed with what everyone else has said; you just gotta trust her. I've been with my current girlfriend for about 6 months now, and she has a few guy friends, one of which she even hooked up with during her freshman year (just made out one night), but at the end of the day, I know I'm the one that she wants to be with and I know she's as committed to me as I am to her, so we just learn to trust each other. If you want to end up being in a relationship with her, you'll have to learn to trust each other anyway.

As for me, as I said, my current girlfriend and I have been together about 6 months now, and in September, she leaves for Turkey to study abroad until January. She's like one of 4 people from Syracuse that are going (2 boys, 2 girls). And I know both of the guys that are going with her [one is in our co-ed frat and has been with his current girlfriend for like 5 years, and the other is in her scholarship group and has hit on her before, but she absolute HATES him (long story, but basically, her sister and best friend had a big fight over him and are no longer friends because of it; dude's a total creep and hits on anything that moves)]. So as tough as it's going to be to be apart for about 4.5 months, I feel pretty confident that we're going to make it through. I've been in love one other time in my life, but something about this girl just feels completely different and special; so we've promised we'll do whatever it takes to make it through this upcoming semester.

But yeah, if I come here during the school year complaining about my girlfriend, the long-distance thing is probably why lol.

[NDAlum]

Re: So I have this girl problem

Vandy,

Since you aren't the type to sleep with girls out of a serious relationship I wouldn't even bother unless you are Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber: "So you're telling me there's a chance!!!!!"

She is going to be hit on so hard by so many guys it will be unreal.

I was in a LDR in college. My super hot girlfriend went to a different college and guess what...she was hit on 24/7. Ended up breaking up with me.

I played the role of punk ***** and it taught me a valuable lesson: the more you care, the less they do.

[Yeah...THAT Guy]

Re: So I have this girl problem

I played the role of punk ***** and it taught me a valuable lesson: the more you care, the less they do.

Vandy, for the record, I promise this isn't true about all girls.

I had a LDR for a year and half with my last girlfriend and she was madly in love with me and I loved her at one point too, but eventually, it just wasn't as much fun being with her anymore because I felt like I put in more of an effort to try to see her than she did and she slipped into anxiety/depression and just became a different person.

And I'm now in another LDR, at least I would call it that. She lives about 5.5 hours away, so we get to see each other during the summer every few weeks whenever one of us can get off work. We go to the same college so we see each other every day there, but she's going abroad to Turkey for 4.5 months, but I'm certain we'll survive being abroad. We both care an extreme amount about the other.

[Suntan Superman]

Yeah there is. An awful lot of pessimism in this thread. Not every girl is like that. Don't get me wrong, there is a ton that are, but you also can't go around assuming the worst all the time either. And that's aimed at both guys. Maybe she does go to college and gets hit on, who cares, cause maybe she doesn't care about them, at all. And really, her having guy friends isn't a bad thing as long as you aren't psychotically jealous or anything. Befriend her friends, and suddenly you have another set of ears and eyes for potential problems. Just sayin though, not everything is the end of the world.

[kingkilla56]

Re: So I have this girl problem

The thing is, this girl isnt your girlfriend, you never made a move, you havent kept in contact at all, and you are both moving to different colleges (which is a death sentence at this point). Assuming you go to school in late august, you have about a month and some change time to reconnect with this girl, get her to like you (again?), establish a relationship, and commit to each other through your college time. Keep in mind you are both freshmen and have no idea how **** goes down in college when it comes to booty sociology. Freshman year may be the most promiscuous one for you both as you meet a whole lot of sexy people in very precarious situations all the time.

Im not telling you this to ruin your dreams but in reality this thing with this girl is over. No it never began so it is unfair to yourself to focus 100% on this girl. Trust me when I say, you wont even remember this girl's name when you hit campus (especially if you live on campus). Im not saying you will want to get all the girls on campus nor should you want to. You will meet so many people and develop so many crushes and feelings so fast you wont even know what to do with it.

So in closing, just get past this next month and enjoy your last HS summer with your friends. No need to drive yourself crazy over what could have been. And in the future, ask a girl out when you like them and dont wait months and years to do it.

[legendkiller5]

Re: So I have this girl problem

The thing is, this girl isnt your girlfriend, you never made a move, you havent kept in contact at all, and you are both moving to different colleges (which is a death sentence at this point). Assuming you go to school in late august, you have about a month and some change time to reconnect with this girl, get her to like you (again?), establish a relationship, and commit to each other through your college time. Keep in mind you are both freshmen and have no idea how **** goes down in college when it comes to booty sociology. Freshman year may be the most promiscuous one for you both as you meet a whole lot of sexy people in very precarious situations all the time.

Im not telling you this to ruin your dreams but in reality this thing with this girl is over. No it never began so it is unfair to yourself to focus 100% on this girl. Trust me when I say, you wont even remember this girl's name when you hit campus (especially if you live on campus). Im not saying you will want to get all the girls on campus nor should you want to. You will meet so many people and develop so many crushes and feelings so fast you wont even know what to do with it.

So in closing, just get past this next month and enjoy your last HS summer with your friends. No need to drive yourself crazy over what could have been. And in the future, ask a girl out when you like them and dont wait months and years to do it.

Pretty much agree with everything in this post, same with ND's post.

Some of these comments make me wonder when the last time some of them have been on a college campus.

[DocHolliday]

Until you take her to Poundtown, no point in being jealous, cause you may be heavy in the friend zone anyway.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Yeah...THAT Guy]

Re: So I have this girl problem

Pretty much agree with everything in this post, same with ND's post.

Some of these comments make me wonder when the last time some of them have been on a college campus.

I'm currently in college lol. I don't know, I just don't see girls the same way as a lot of people. Even my friends at school are just looking to get it in most of the time. Just not my style. I want something serious.

[Cusefan]

Re: So I have this girl problem

I'm seeing this girl right now that I really like and I'm pretty confident that she likes me too. She has a kid So she is obviously much busier than I am so I have to take what she gives me. I'm just trying not to text her too much(I call when I can but she has piss poor cell reception at her house), I have honestly not felt this way about a girl in awhile though.

Tonight we're going to Skype, go for a walk tomorrow, then I'm going to take her to a baseball game Friday night.

[Buckeyes_Doc]

Re: So I have this girl problem

I'm seeing this girl right now that I really like and I'm pretty confident that she likes me too. She has a kid So she is obviously much busier than I am so I have to take what she gives me. I'm just trying not to text her too much(I call when I can but she has piss poor cell reception at her house), I have honestly not felt this way about a girl in awhile though.

Tonight we're going to Skype, go for a walk tomorrow, then I'm going to take her to a baseball game Friday night.

"The walking date is a good date. You don't have to look right at the other -person." -Jerry Seinfeld

[Cusefan]

Re: So I have this girl problem

I figured I would bump this thread so I can explain my girl problem. She is my downstairs neighbor and we are very good friends, I am pissed at myself for not pulling the trigger fast enough but it is what it is. So I'm hanging oUt with her today and I was actually thinking how I wanted to ask her out. So Her friend comes over and we are just talking and drinking beer, then her new boyfriend comes over. I honestly didn't even know she had a boyfriend.

He honestly just rubbed me the wrong way. He was mean to her dog, her dog is the sweetest and he Would swat at it. He actually called it over then kicked at it. A good person doesn't do that. I was thinking about trying to get his name and have mY friend run a police report.

[areobee401]

Re: So I have this girl problem

I figured I would bump this thread so I can explain my girl problem. She is my downstairs neighbor and we are very good friends, I am pissed at myself for not pulling the trigger fast enough but it is what it is. So I'm hanging oUt with her today and I was actually thinking how I wanted to ask her out. So Her friend comes over and we are just talking and drinking beer, then her new boyfriend comes over. I honestly didn't even know she had a boyfriend.

He honestly just rubbed me the wrong way. He was mean to her dog, her dog is the sweetest and he Would swat at it. He actually called it over then kicked at it. A good person doesn't do that. I was thinking about trying to get his name and have mY friend run a police report.

Don't do that.

[Husker_OS]

Re: So I have this girl problem

Vandy, to get over a girl you have 2 options. Meet a new girl and date her or meet several new girls and hook up with them. Gotta clear out the memories and thoughts of the hoops girl. So replace them.

As for the "the more you care, the less they do", it's true. But one condition, she has to be hot. Girls who are hot are going to have tons of guys trying to date her. You're going to eliminate yourself if you're the needy one. You're also going to eliminate yourself if you're the guy who seemingly has nothing going on in life.

If a girl thinks you don't have a good social life, she isn't going to want any part of it. The less you say in a text, the better. Gives her the impression you're busy and makes her intrigued. She'll start being more chatty in her texts as a result but DO NOT return the favor.

And keep in mind, once the relationship is serious, this stuff doesn't matter. But early on, you have to play the game. Don't buy the bs that girls who play the game for a little while in the beginning aren't worth it.