Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

[12]

Area 1:

This area is growing and flourishing. It has three cities and the population is around 250,000. There are a lot of schools... Some are good, some are not so good. There's a lot to do in the area. There is a minor league baseball team, a junior hockey team and an Arena League Football team. The housing market is OK, but for us to stay here, we need to live in a subdivision where your neighbors are close. We would build a house in one of these subdivisions. I enjoy where I work but it is a bit of a commute (45 minutes each way). There will likely be more programs available for our two sons, such as sports and such.

Area 2:

This is a small, close knit community. The town has around 2,500 people in it, so it's small. The area is absolutely beautiful and there is more to do outdoors (camping, hiking, rivers, etc...). There is also a ski resort nearby. Here's the big kicker... It's my wife hometown and she absolutely loves and misses it. It's more country than anything else. No subdivisions. The school gets good ratings and our boys would be in smaller classrooms. There would still be opportunities for them as far as sports go, but it would be in a bigger town about 30 miles away. Her family is still there and she would be happier, though she wouldn't be "unhappy" in Area 1, as it has grown on her. I would have roughly the same job, but the commute would be 30 minutes instead of 45. We could build our dream house on her dad's land. I would be moving further away from my immediate family, though not by much (an hour or so).

What do you guys think? This is a decision that we will most likely need to make in the next 6-8 months.

I truly believe that I could be happy in either place. I love the town she grew up in... It's country and it's pretty bad***. We could have a quiet, "country" life where our kids would most likely have an amazing childhood spent in the outdoors. It's very enticing, but so is staying where we're currently at (Area 1). It's not going to be an easy decision. A little more info, her family is very non-intrusive, and I could see someone saying to keep your distance from family, but that's not really an issue here.

[snepp]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

I'd pick option 2.

[12]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

I'd pick option 2.

Thanks, snepp... I got a job offer not long ago in Rapid City, SD. Just thought I'd mention it... I went to Wyoming on an antelope hunt with my dad and we went to Mt. Rushmore. Love that area, but the offer wasn't good enough to leave.

[12]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

I'm just going to write here... It helps me process my thoughts.

I won't have to see any more wet dogs in "Area 2" because there won't be a neighbor's house when my son hits bombs. No wet dogs that still blow my mind.

The only thing I worry about in "Area 2" is opportunities for my two young sons. "Area 1" will have opportunities galore for them. Early education programs, early sports programs, better competition, etc... Bigger isn't always better, though. This is an area that is growing like CRAZY and classroom sizes probably aren't the best. The landscape here is flat and boring. There's not a lot to do outdoors. No mountains. In "Area 2," the education my sons would receive would be solid. Smaller classroom sizes. My wife is a stay-at-home mom right now so I am not worried about their intellectual development as she works with them a lot. My 2-year-old is advanced by all accounts. I shouldn't be worried about their schooling.

This is the ONE opportunity that I can provide for my wife to live in her hometown again. She's everything to me, so why is this even a question? I'd be happy there, too. I am pretty low key and don't need a bigger city to make me happy... But it sure is nice to be able to walk to the stadium and watch a minor league baseball game. It's nice to have everything that you need within spitting distance. We always thought we'd get there some day, but it would be when we retire.

I don't know... Still not sure. Would really appreciate opinions. I said 6-8 months, but really, if this is something that we do, we need to get the wheels rolling now so I can set up my transfer and get things handled.

[slickdtc]

Sounds to me like 2 is great, and 1 is just bigger (therefore more). But 2 has the things bigger and more doesn't offer.

You say 2 is more country. But is it isolated? How far to get to those attractions a more serious city offers?

I'd love to move to a more rural area later, but I don't wanna have to drive an hour to get to a grocery store. Ya know?

Otherwise, 2 sounds like the no-brainer.

Besides, happy wife, happy life.

[PVarck31]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

2 for sure.

[Fresh Tendrils]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Area 1 only speaks to me since it offers all those recreational and education programs for the kids, but if the schools aren't as good as in Area 2 then that becomes a moot point to me.

I like privacy and space so Area 2 obviously lends itself more to that. Some subdivisions are nice and spacious while others are practically different colored boxes stacked on top of each other.

[JODYE]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

I can offer this from personal experience. Not sure how much it will help in your decision though.

Growing up, my parents made a similar decision.

We lived in a big city, bigger schools, more opportunities, better competition etc. and personally I loved it. Might have just been my makeup but I was an ultra competitive kid. Had established myself on the local baseball and basketball teams as one of the best players.

Then my 9th grade year, my parents made the decision to move, to a close knit, small community in a farm house about 15 minutes outside of town.

At first, everything was fine and dandy. Community was very friendly and the school was great. Teachers were very attentive.

Then the sports seasons started rolling around, and started seeing the cons. In close knit communities, whether it is admitted or not, favoritism will be played. All these kids that are at that school, most likely grew up together and were in school together all through elementary and middle. These coaches know every kid before they even get to HS.

Like I said, at my previous school, I had established myself as one of the top players on the team, and had the HS wanting me to participate in fall workouts as an 8th grader, for a varsity team that has produced numerous MLB prospects.

I get to the new school, where they hold a 3 day tryout of drills and 7 inning games for freshman wanting to play baseball.

Went through the drills and the games no problem. In fact, I lead everyone with the most hits for the 3 days and hit 2 HRs which for freshman was pretty rare. After the tryouts, they picked the roster. I thought I had a starting position locked, seeing I had shown I was by far the best hitter on the field. I was wrong. I had the pleasure of playing the same position as the HS strength training coaches son. He was given the starting CF spot, while I was delegated to the bench. I was extremely dejected, and being a young kid, at that time I couldn't process what had happened. So I suffered for a season, watching this kid hit about his body weight, doing everything the coaches asked, with no reward. I ended up getting like 2 starts and my parents were so pissed that I decided to quit and play travel ball. Which ended up being a terrible decision. Although I was named a national all-star 3 times, I only recieved one college offer to play and it was for a small D-2 school in New Jersey. Still one thing that I haven't gotten over. Especially when I saw kids I used to be worlds better than, getting drafted or getting D-1 offers.

So, from that perspective, I would say avoid the small communities and if you don't, get your kid in AAU ball.

Now as I've gotten older, and am working on a family on my own, I am absolutely terrified to raise my kid in a large city for a number of reasons, and can appreciate my parents decision to get me out of the school that I was set to attend.

Yes it's nice to be close to all those things you list, but I think having a stable happy home is most important. If you love your wife as much as you elude to, as I do my own, I would do my best to provide that for her, even if it's not something that I would want ideally.

Really, I think the best thing to do would be to talk to her, and lay it out on the table. Both list your priorities and pros and cons of each destination and really see where you both stand. If your relationship is strong, I'm sure you both can compromise and make each other happy at the end of the day.

I wish you the best in your decision but if I had to choose at this point, it would be number 2.

[JerzeyReign]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

I'm a city person but I'd pick Option 2. With "city life" 30 miles away its almost like the best of both worlds.

[Sublime12089]

Sub division in the suburbs in area 1 would be best imo. Should have the better schools in the district and would offer the kids more opportunities and a more ddiverse range of activities for them to develop their interests.

Sent from my HTC VLE_U using Tapatalk 2

[Dirty Turtles]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Option 2 for me as well. I guess mostly because I was born and raised in the rural type of setting. The ability to build your dream home is pretty big too, especially if the subdivision has strict rules on home construction. Nothing I hate more than driving past a housing development and all the homes look virtually the same.

[roadman]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Jerzey hit the nail on the head, you can still do city stuff 30 minutes away.

As for 13, I understand your frustrations with what you went through, but Apostle's children are much younger.

We live 10 minutes from a city with 80,000 people, 30 minutes from downtown Milwaukee and 1 hr. without traffic from downtown Chicago.

We have everything we need within a short drive.

Option #2 for me, it all depends what's best for your internal family.

If it was me building on my in-laws land, I'd stick with option 1 because they are intrusive. I should know, they lived with us for 6 months.

[8]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Sounds like your heart is with option 2. To put you at ease I have 2 cousins that grew up on a cattle farm in a tiny town in central NC, they both have college degrees (one has a masters) and both have really good jobs.

I personally would pick option 2 and actually did. I moved from a suburb of Baltimore to the same town in NC that my cousins live in. We have things out here that we would never have had in maryland. We have a nice house, big yard, and our closest neighbors are cows. To me this is the perfect place to raise my 2 year old girl. It's all in what you value most I guess.

It also sounds to me like having your dream home and making your wife very happy is going to make you very happy.

[gerg1234]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

If #1 is where I think it is....I've always heard to not live in Pasco...

[Champion8877]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Option 2 for sure.

I grew up living in the country and loved it. Hunting, fishing, riding fourwheelers, going for walks back through our woods, climbing trees, having bon fires, shooting guns, etc. I could not imagine how boring living in the city would have been for me growing up. I'm just a more outdoors kinda person and love the country.