Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

[mgoblue]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

I would do option 2 as long as you prepare yourself for lots of 30 mile drives to do sports with the kids. If you don't mind doing that a few times a week it'll be fine. That seemed to be your only main concern.

I get a more "happy" feel from you on option 2 vs. option 1. Just me reading into your posts, but it's the vibe I get. Usually vibes and "going with your gut" are good.

Smart guy posting here though, I often talk things over like this with people. My dad is awesome at being devil's advocate. Helps you analyze and feel good with your decision.

I will say that you'll be happy with whatever you pick, and both options seem pretty good.

[ABR173rd]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Area 1:

This area is growing and flourishing. It has three cities and the population is around 250,000. There are a lot of schools... Some are good, some are not so good. There's a lot to do in the area. There is a minor league baseball team, a junior hockey team and an Arena League Football team. The housing market is OK, but for us to stay here, we need to live in a subdivision where your neighbors are close. We would build a house in one of these subdivisions. I enjoy where I work but it is a bit of a commute (45 minutes each way). There will likely be more programs available for our two sons, such as sports and such.

Area 2:

This is a small, close knit community. The town has around 2,500 people in it, so it's small. The area is absolutely beautiful and there is more to do outdoors (camping, hiking, rivers, etc...). There is also a ski resort nearby. Here's the big kicker... It's my wife hometown and she absolutely loves and misses it. It's more country than anything else. No subdivisions. The school gets good ratings and our boys would be in smaller classrooms. There would still be opportunities for them as far as sports go, but it would be in a bigger town about 30 miles away. Her family is still there and she would be happier, though she wouldn't be "unhappy" in Area 1, as it has grown on her. I would have roughly the same job, but the commute would be 30 minutes instead of 45. We could build our dream house on her dad's land. I would be moving further away from my immediate family, though not by much (an hour or so).

What do you guys think? This is a decision that we will most likely need to make in the next 6-8 months.

I truly believe that I could be happy in either place. I love the town she grew up in... It's country and it's pretty bad***. We could have a quiet, "country" life where our kids would most likely have an amazing childhood spent in the outdoors. It's very enticing, but so is staying where we're currently at (Area 1). It's not going to be an easy decision. A little more info, her family is very non-intrusive, and I could see someone saying to keep your distance from family, but that's not really an issue here.

I would go option 2 but I'm pretty big into the out doors and I believe overall it's a better experience for kids growing up.

[TracerBullet]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

If #1 is where I think it is....I've always heard to not live in Pasco...

I think it has to be that area . Wouldn't know much about the area myself, but he is definitely right about the sports having a ton of choices when the kids are growing up.

[The GIGGAS]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Pick #2. Schools are better? That's where your priority has to lie. Helps that you have a shorter commute, and everyone seems to be better off if that's the one you pick.

[KingV2k3]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Well, as awkward as it must be to still live next to the "wet dog crew", is moving really the only option?



Seriously though:

I'm a small (or big or giant) city guy...it's a multi culti world and it's prob good to live where your kids encounter a wide range of people, places and things...

Well, that's my take...

I'm sure you'll make the right decision....

However, don't ship out until the "eternal question" has been addressed re: "wet dog"...

[SPTO]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

I'd go with option 2 as it seems to basically have everything you'd want in terms of living conditions and such. As others have said living 30 minutes away from a bigger city isn't such a bad thing. You'll be separated from the hustle and bustle but be close enough that you can do some of the things like putting your kids in sports and whatnot. Also living in the outdoors and doing more outdoor activities will be good for them in the long run.

It also seems to me that living in what would be your dream house in your wife's home town would be one of the better things you can do. She'd absolutely love it there and sure, driving 45 minutes to and from work is a bit of a pain. I don't live in the country myself but my sister, father and brother in law all drive about 30-45 minutes to and from work themselves so it's more common than you'd think.

[DukeC]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Go with option 2. If it makes the wife happy and you actually like your in-laws (and the kids actually get to see their grandparents more often) I say go for it.

A happy wife = A happy home (I would know, because my mom wasn't happy in the city (Los Angeles) and she (with me in tow) ended up moving back to the country (The South) within 4 years)

[Yeah...THAT Guy]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

I grew up in the suburbs outside of Rochester, NY, like 10 minutes away from the downtown area probably. It's nice, and I definitely prefer it over the rural area where my current girlfriend grew up when she moved to America about 10 years ago. It's like a 15 minute drive to the nearest Wegmans (not sure if everyone knows what Wegmans is, but it's basically just a very good supermarket). She's only about 45 minutes away from Philadelphia, which isn't bad at all, but I personally don't think I could have made it growing up in the area she did. It's nice to get away from everything every once in awhile, and her house is absolutely gorgeous (her garage is probably about 3/4 the size of my house), but I personally would rather have the small house with more stuff around me than.

Having said that, obviously not everyone is wired the same way. Everyone likes different things, and from what I know, your kids are probably young enough that whatever you pick, they'll adjust to it rather easily if I had to guess.

I'm not really the kind of person that wants a "dream house" if it means not being around much stuff. A 30 minute drive to a major city isn't bad at all. Hell, I've driven 3-6 hours to get to major cities from Rochester. But personally, I'd get bored after a few weeks if there isn't much to do in the area.

[cardsfan2222]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

I'd go with option 2. Happy wife and a dream home without close neighbors sounds like a great choice. My wife and I both have our parents nearby, and one of the biggest benefits is free babysitting. I feel much better leaving them with family than with a regular babysitter.

[Knight165]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Here's my take.

I was born.....grew up in....and still work in option 1.
The grandaddy of all big cities.
It was great.....and I probably wouldn't trade it in for anything. But for each opportunity that was great(greater than you can get in a small town in some ways)....there was an equally and imposing pitfall(most also greater than you would find in small town). I was lucky to avoid those for the most part(I'm no Angel....unless you work for the Inspector's General office...than I never did anything wrong. )

....which brings me to my next phase.....as soon as I felt it was possible, I boogied out of the big Apple and live in a community of LESS than what your option 2 is.
If I had young kids.....I would say this town is fine for them as a base, but honestly, I would have them get into a bigger actual city A.S.A.P. so they can get some great opportunities in the workplace.

I'm sorry I did nothing but play both sides....but really....it's what you make of it. Not all great[insert choice of vocation here] came from the big city.....they made it there somehow.

Tough choice for sure.

M.K.
Knight165

[slickdtc]

This thread needs more wet dog

[RAZRr1275]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

I'd say its all about the school and your kid's education so I'll say option 2 with a caveat. Smaller isn't always better. That opens itself up more to cliques, bullying etc since there's less room to avoid people who are problems so I'd visit the schools and get a feel for them first to see how that goes and just make sure that they fit in the place where you're taking them.

[Chaos81]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Area 1 AINEC.

[WazzuRC]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

Apostle, where is area #2 if you don't mind me asking?

I really like the Tri-Cities area actually. It's a growing place with a lot of promise in the next 10-15 years. If I could live anywhere in Washington outside the Greater Seattle area, it'd be there.

[12]

Re: Big life decision... Where would you rather raise your kids?

It is tough not to get pissed off at my wife's dad.

We asked him if we could build on his land... He said, "Why build on my land when you can have a free house?"

He was talking about his mom's house, which was built in the 1950's, but it's nice enough. It's out in the country and has a HUGE yard and some land. He inherited it. We immediately got excited. Are you kidding me? The house needs some upgrades here and there, but it would be absolutely perfect. My wife got pretty emotional when he said this (in a good way) and I was excited too. Not having a mortgage would be a dream come true because then I could put a good chunk of money away for both of my son's college.

We told him he had to be serious because if he was, I'd get the transfer paperwork in right away. A day later, he says that he is not willing to make any commitments.

Let me just talk about my wife's dad for a minute so you guys can get a bit of a clearer picture - he has money. He never made a huge annual salary but this is a guy who has inherited everything that he has. He does not spend money and took an early retirement from his job, which paid him pretty well. He's never had a mortgage or a car payment. In the six years I've known him, I've never seen him a buy a thing, literally. No new clothes, nothing. Funny thing is, he has never helped us nor bought his grand sons a birthday present. He's not a bad guy, but he's one of those guys that is all talk. He told my wife before we got married that he would pay her student loans off. He never has. No big deal, I don't expect help. I sure as hell don't ever ask for it, and neither does she. But he makes a habit of saying things and never following through.

So now, after getting mine and my wife's hopes up, he says he's not ready to make any commitments. This guy inherited probably 100 acres of land, and he doesn't sound like he wants to let us build on it. It's not like this land is profitable for him, as he does nothing with it, but he just doesn't want to share anything in his life and that's what ultimately fried his marriage to my wife's mom 20 years ago.

I don't need his help. I've never asked for his help. But damn it, don't say something if you have no real intentions of following through. This is his ONE chance to get his daughter and his grand sons to be closer to him, and he isn't going to take it.

Am I being unreasonable? I need to talk to him, because I have a good thing where I'm at, and if he's not serious about it, I won't transfer and my wife's dream goes down the toilet for now.

Not sure what to do next... Our house could sell tomorrow and we would not know what to really do.