The Talk...With the Boss

[CMH]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

I talked with him yesterday. It went well.

We discussed a lot over two hours and he was both supportive but not understanding entirely.

It was mostly what I expected.

He had good arguments against my decision. Things like losing a solid paycheck and walking away from something I helped build.

He also didn't feel I would enjoy working on sets or being a teacher. I chalk that up to his personal opinion on how he feels about those things and not being me.

What's being missed is that what I'm desiring to go back to is what I always wanted to do and gave up so I could make a solid paycheck. He argues that it's not a decision you make at 30 when it's time to grow up, but I think it's exactly the decision you make at 30 (especially when you're single with no kids) to go after what you want rather than simply accept life as it is.

Yes, 30 is far different from doing it at say 23, but I also got a late jump on this having not gone to film school and started on sets until I was 25. So I'm late anyway. If I had started this at 18, going to school for film, then I would be in a different position right now. I made the decision to start this process even at 25, knowing that I had a late jump.

Anyway, while he doesn't understand my desire and feels I'm making a mistake (partly because he wants to keep me, the other part because he feels I'm not that type of person - which is another discussion that I rather not get into right now), he is willing to make it work.

I'm opening up to the idea of staying on in some way without being here full-time. I told him I'd be interested in working at events, but have no interest in the other work. How exactly we will work that out still needs to be discussed and we both agreed to continue talking about it.

It's heading in a positive direction. He actually made a good point to me which I appreciated. He told me that I need to stop thinking about how he'll handle the transition and simply just be selfish and ask for what I want.

While I think he mostly sees that being me asking for either more money or an assistant, I think I can be selfish and still compromise in some way to make it work for all of us. I know I want the freedom to work on commercials, film, television whenever the opportunity arrises and still be available to him for on-site events.

The other work I do here is "monkey-work" (which he actually said to me, so he gets why I don't want to do it anymore). So, perhaps I'll work with him on actively finding a replacement to handle those tasks. I'll stay on in an advisory role to that replacement and just slowly walk away from those duties rather than making a hard stance to leave December 1st.

I think that seems fair. I'm rambling a bit, but it helps to put my thoughts in writing.

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

Ha. Not burnt out. I'm not doing what I want to do at this position.

Any aggravation I might have is directed at knowing that when I go to work in the morning, I'm not doing anything I enjoy doing.

That's all this is about, really. I want to be a free agent again and work on set gigs. Won't be hard for me to figure out.


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You hit the nail on the head. Work is too big a part of your life to not enjoy it or feel unfulfilled from it. You have to be able to get up in the morning and LIKE what you do.

I've worked at a job I hated for a boss I despised. Did that for a month and quit with nothing lined up, but it was better to be 24, single and unemployed than working there. I liked getting up on those mornings, despite having little money I liked my life and knew better was in the mail.

Life's too short. I'm 45 and working at a good job for a good company, but I still don't know what I really am SUPPOSED to be doing with my life.

You already know, and that's a gift, IMO.

I'm glad the talk went well with your boss. You are making it as easy as you can for him, that should be enough.

The last job I left, I was there for 12 years as part of a 30 person department and we were a family. My boss was a great guy, and he thought I was one of his top people. When we had the chat, he actually cried a bit. My last day was like leaving a home where you are loved, that was really really tough. But I had to go.

Good luck with your new direction, CMH. Please keep updating this thread with your progress! I think you are doing the right thing, and whether you end up teaching OR video/film work, you'll be more complete if it's what you want to do.

[jeremym480]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

I think you did the right thing, CMH.

When I quit my last job, I knew that I was putting the Store Manager in a bind, because we were already short handed. I didn't want to burn any bridges, so I actually worked all day (from 8am-9pm) so he could have those days off. I knew that he had plenty of those days in front of him and wanted to help in any way I could.

I did that for a couple of reasons, one was because (to me) it was the right thing to do and two because if for some reason my new job didn't work out, then I was still in the good graces of the General Manager who oversaw all of the stores along the coast from the Florida Panhandle to Texas and if any of them needed help I could slide back in.

I'm all for opening new doors in life, but when you do sometimes it's best not to completely slam shut the one that were leaving behind. Instead leave them cracked (if that makes sense)

[CMH]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

I think you did the right thing, CMH.

When I quit my last job, I knew that I was putting the Store Manager in a bind, because we were already short handed. I didn't want to burn any bridges, so I actually worked all day (from 8am-9pm) so he could have those days off. I knew that he had plenty of those days in front of him and wanted to help in any way I could.

I did that for a couple of reasons, one was because (to me) it was the right thing to do and two because if for some reason my new job didn't work out, then I was still in the good graces of the General Manager who oversaw all of the stores along the coast from the Florida Panhandle to Texas and if any of them needed help I could slide back in.

I'm all for opening new doors in life, but when you do sometimes it's best not to completely slam shut the one that were leaving behind. Instead leave them cracked (if that makes sense)

He sent me an email detailing his thoughts on a possible scenario that would have me on board till July 1st with the option to leave.

I've been thinking of doing something similar to his breakdown so it's not much out of my thoughts, though I will offer some extra conditions.

One thing he mentioned to me is that he respected me telling him I'm leaving December 1st rather than waiting till January 1st. I did it for a particular reason (even if it seems rather stupid because it kinda is, but I'm mostly an honorable guy). Well, I have a nice bonus coming my way at the end of the year and obviously I would be giving that up if I left early.

His offer to me suggests I stay so I take home that bonus, get my raise (I've received a yearly raise every April) and then walk away July 1st so I give him the summer to find my replacement.

The offer also broke down what he believes are my daily tasks (also asking me to include any he might have forgotten) and tell him which of those things I do and don't want to do anymore. Very fair.

Finally, it includes him offering to fund a small film project. More on this in a bit.

I'm very open to staying on till July 1st. What's important to note is that most of what he's offering was already available to me. If I stay, I'm getting my bonus, I'm getting a raise. The funding of a small film project has always been available to me. I just don't have anything to film right now (and if you have an interesting script, send it to me because maybe it's the project we make).

In addition, he will fund a small film project whether I'm there or not because his interest in film is anything he thinks could make him money. Which is obvious for any head of a production company. He won't say no if I walked away tomorrow and came back a few months later with a project that would make him money in the long run.

My counter-proposal will likely include me telling him what tasks I don't want to do, and what I will accept continuing to do. I think the list of what I will continue to do will be small because I will also counter I want the option to work on any projects that come my way.

So while I think he wants me to stay on and make a decision July 1st, I mostly want to kinda be around for projects I want to do (events) and am open to sticking around only to train my replacement.

It's a lot to consider, I feel. I still need to figure out my complete thoughts on this.

[Jr.]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

It sounds to me a little like he's baiting you to stay longer. Like one of those things where he knows that you like him and he's making concessions with the idea that you'll continue to take them until you end up agreeing to stay on for good.

You may be aware of that already, but if not, it's something to keep an eye on. If you understand what he's doing then it shouldn't affect your decision, but if not it can sneak up on you.

While staying on until July, would you still be able to take the small gigs that you were planning before?

[CMH]

It sounds to me a little like he's baiting you to stay longer. Like one of those things where he knows that you like him and he's making concessions with the idea that you'll continue to take them until you end up agreeing to stay on for good.

You may be aware of that already, but if not, it's something to keep an eye on. If you understand what he's doing then it shouldn't affect your decision, but if not it can sneak up on you.

While staying on until July, would you still be able to take the small gigs that you were planning before?

Yes I've considered it.

If I stay on till July without making my own rules, no way I can work on any gigs at my own leisure.

I would be in the same spot I'm in now. So, that's what doesn't work for me.

The biggest hurdle is he doesn't understand why I would want to work on set. It just doesn't register for him. He sees me doing PA work and he feels sorry for me (his own words) because he says its muck work.

It is muck work but so is the work I do now. So there's the disconnect. He is mostly seeing that aspect from his perspective. To him, why would I want to do that muck work when I can just do the safe muck work.

But my thoughts are: if I'm gonna do muck work, I rather do the muck work I enjoy. Because I know the low end film work is a lot of crap. It is. But I like that work. Really should have never stepped away from it.

Two regrets in life for a guy that tries not to make emotional decisions but one of those two is leaving the film world to take a regular job. It's also why I kinda "worry" a bit that once I get back, I may not even want to go back to school. But that's something for later.

I've rewritten what I'm doing quite a few times because I still can't get it down right.

Basically I want to be available unless I have a job elsewhere. I want that option to do as I wish. I can either do that as a paid independent contractor (meaning I've left) or as a part-time employee (meaning I've stayed under my conditions).





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[Money99]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

Good luck CMH.
I wish I was in your shoes.
I don't really care for my job either. It's not a bad gig, but it's not something I imagined I would do for the rest of my working life.
And the commute stinks. I work 70 minutes away so I'm always getting home a bit after 6pm - which makes any kind of sports for the kids a nightmare. I'm basically running into the house, getting changed and then running to the rink/baseball diamond/basketball court/karate without eating and then having to work with young kids. It's not always the best recipe, hahaha.

You've got the opportunity to do something you really want to. Hopefully that inspires you when it comes time to let your boss (and friend) know you need to move on to something else.

Good luck in your future endeavors. Hopefully one day, I'll be able to do the same.
Cheers!

[Jr.]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

Yes I've considered it.

If I stay on till July without making my own rules, no way I can work on any gigs at my own leisure.

I would be in the same spot I'm in now. So, that's what doesn't work for me.

The biggest hurdle is he doesn't understand why I would want to work on set. It just doesn't register for him. He sees me doing PA work and he feels sorry for me (his own words) because he says its muck work.

It is muck work but so is the work I do now. So there's the disconnect. He is mostly seeing that aspect from his perspective. To him, why would I want to do that muck work when I can just do the safe muck work.

But my thoughts are: if I'm gonna do muck work, I rather do the muck work I enjoy. Because I know the low end film work is a lot of crap. It is. But I like that work. Really should have never stepped away from it.

Two regrets in life for a guy that tries not to make emotional decisions but one of those two is leaving the film world to take a regular job. It's also why I kinda "worry" a bit that once I get back, I may not even want to go back to school. But that's something for later.

I've rewritten what I'm doing quite a few times because I still can't get it down right.

Basically I want to be available unless I have a job elsewhere. I want that option to do as I wish. I can either do that as a paid independent contractor (meaning I've left) or as a part-time employee (meaning I've stayed under my conditions).





Sent from my mobile device.

It seems like you've got a good idea of what you want, even if you're adjusting a bit. You're giving it a lot of thought, which is great, and writing it down is a good way to ensure that you're sticking with why you were originally making this decision.

My only concern would be that you lose sight of your plan for next year until you start school, and end up missing out on opportunities that you were looking forward to when you made the decision about your future plans.

I only bring this up because it's happened to me before. I have a plan, but once I start to act on it, I get talked out of it because I feel bad for the other party or something, and end up in a similar spot that I was in before.

[CMH]

It seems like you've got a good idea of what you want, even if you're adjusting a bit. You're giving it a lot of thought, which is great, and writing it down is a good way to ensure that you're sticking with why you were originally making this decision.

My only concern would be that you lose sight of your plan for next year until you start school, and end up missing out on opportunities that you were looking forward to when you made the decision about your future plans.

I only bring this up because it's happened to me before. I have a plan, but once I start to act on it, I get talked out of it because I feel bad for the other party or something, and end up in a similar spot that I was in before.

You're right. I can't lose sight of my plan.

And my plan is to not lose sight of it. It's been hard to put into words what I am comfortable doing so long as I'm following my plan.

I guess it feels like I'm demanding things and I'm not that type of person so it's difficult to step out of that comfort zone and be the demanding type.

What's definitely happening is I'm gonna make myself free to work where I want (set gigs). Right now I am very ready to go back to school Fall 2013. Nothing has changed that.

I'm willing to continue finding a way to work for him while accomplishing the above because 1. I want to help and 2. It will be a paycheck.

It's a bit like me knowing I have one client that will pay me when I'm needed. I'm looking to rekindle that relationship with an old producer (and he's already reached out about commercial gigs) so he can be a second "client." And I'll continue to add more.

This may sound weird but I know my talent is me. I'm a hard worker. I'm dedicated. Loyal. Sometimes to a fault but bosses have always loved me for that because I basically act blind to everything else and zero in on just their needs.

So in many ways I'm looking at myself as a service to people that need my type around them to get things done.

That's how I see it.


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[DickDalewood]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

Yah... No matter what, you always need to watch out for número uno. He may be upset, pissed, sad, whatever... but honestly, that's not your problem.

You do what's right for you first and foremost, because everyone else will just as readily do the same.

Good luck man

[Jimbo614]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

Here's what I did once...I counted up all the pro things about my current job, such as..
Am I happy doing what I do?
Am I making enough money?
Do I like the people I work with?
Do I like my Boss?
What Benefits am I entitled to?
Am I good at what I do?
etc
And then I went in to my Boss at the time, and gave him my list.. And the answers were all
No, Nope, No, I guess so, none, no etc.
He got the point. Thankfully, he found my presentation to be hilarious. We had a good laugh and parted as friends.

[ehh]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

The time is here for me...

I received an offer on a position tonight that's about a 20% raise, full medical (don't have at my current job) and 401k (ditto). It's a significantly better opportunity, we'll see how my boss reacts tomorrow when I break the news.

[23]

Hard to pass that up

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[Jr.]

Re: The Talk...With the Boss

The time is here for me...

I received an offer on a position tonight that's about a 20% raise, full medical (don't have at my current job) and 401k (ditto). It's a significantly better opportunity, we'll see how my boss reacts tomorrow when I break the news.

Congrats! Fingers crossed that your boss is happy for you, or is willing to provide equal compensation to try to keep you

[CMH]

The time is here for me...

I received an offer on a position tonight that's about a 20% raise, full medical (don't have at my current job) and 401k (ditto). It's a significantly better opportunity, we'll see how my boss reacts tomorrow when I break the news.

That's great news especially when you were already considering moving on. To get a better opportunity is extremely fortunate.

Let us know how it goes when you talk to the boss.


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