GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

[dsallupinyaarea]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Yeah, we're just cut from a different cloth. To each it's own.

[Phobia]

Wow HnV that is way deeper than I would ever look at this situation. Like I said really early in this thread and pretty much agree with Wharton on this.

Trust is all that needs to be discussed. Either you have it or you don't. All the other outside influences mean nothing to that simple little thing..............trust


Sent from da lil phone.

[Bmore Irish]

I can sort of see both sides of this coin. That being said, I'm sure as hell not gonna tell my girlfriend who she can/can't be friends with, but I also don't mind tellin her what I think about certain friends haha. It goes both ways though, and if she decided she couldn't be with me because I didn't get along with one of her friends, then I'd consider myself lucky that I hadn't gotten in too deep before it was too late.

Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk 2

[wwharton]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

I agree with almost all of the points made here. I think we can isolate our fundamental difference of opinion here on one specific part: Whether or not this friend should continue to be so.

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My original post said that the GF should have unfriended this girl immediately. And if she hadn't it would at least make me wonder about my OWN PARTNER'S priorities.

I am not talking about anyone succumbing to peer pressure. I'm talking about friendship and what it really means.

I isolated only two parts of your post bc I agree that's really all that matters. And though I know we'll continue to disagree on this (which is perfectly fine btw... just means we won't be fishing from the same pool, lol)...

1) It's the woman's decision whether or not the friend should continue to be so, not anyone else's. If she decides to continue to be friends it's for reasons only she needs to know. We don't own our partners and, at least for me, can't expect them to think exactly like we do about everything. Like I said, there could be a million more reasons this girl is seen as a good friend that far outweigh this one bad in her mind.

2) That's the "guilty by association" mentality I was talking about. Somebody wants to judge me based on who I hang out with rather than ONLY what they know of me and that's a quick way to get shown the door in my world.

[XtremeDunkz]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

if my gf's friend tells her its ok to cheat on me then i am making the decision that she needs to disassociate with her or im out.

[Fresh Tendrils]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

if my gf's friend tells her its ok to cheat on me then i am making the decision that she needs to disassociate with her or im out.

If you have to tell her that then she probably isn't the one for you, right?

[XtremeDunkz]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

not necessarily true. Girls can have a tendency to be quite dense. Sometimes you have to spell it out for them.

[Fresh Tendrils]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

not necessarily true. Girls can have a tendency to be quite dense. Sometimes you have to spell it out for them.

How's that different than anybody else?

I just don't want to be at a point in a relationship where I have to police what the other person is doing, who they're hanging with, etc. That is not a relationship. That is babysitting.

[VTPack919]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

not necessarily true. Girls can have a tendency to be quite dense. Sometimes you have to spell it out for them.

Dense women tend to be dense; I am not sure women on the whole do.

[AUChase]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

I'm not telling my girlfriend who she can and cannot hang out with.

I don't know all of her friends and I don't care to.

I probably have some friends that would encourage me to do really stupid things. It doesn't make them any less of a friend to me and it doesn't mean I share their same views on everything. At the end of the day, It's my decision to do certain things, regardless of what my friends say I should do.

It's just an excuse and if you're with a girl that is that easily persuaded, It might be time to look in another direction.

It's not always as simple as just not being friends with someone. My best friend and I (I call him a best friend cause we have been tight since Kindergarten) have never let women come in between us. If his girl thought we shouldn't hang out or vise vera (it's happened before) we both made it clear that it's not even an option.

I don't want someone telling me who to be friends with either.

Friends are still your friends, even when **** goes South with your significant other. Without them, where do you turn ?


Just my thoughts on the whole thing.

[wwharton]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

I also think it's funny to say "If my girl's friend encouraged her to cheat on me I'd make her stop being friends with that girl."

My guess is your girl probably has an idea how you'd feel about this before it actually happened and just wouldn't tell you. Probably means she wouldn't tell you about other things either. I think you guys think you're making your relationship better by taking control, but the universe unfolds as it will. You throw a road block, there will be a way around it. The focus should only be on the person. If you can trust her to do the right thing then everything/everyone around her is irrelevant.

[VTPack919]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

My best friend has done something like that to me in the past. I just said no and laughed it off. Didn't even think about ending the friendship. I really don't think it's a big deal. If her friend is enough to convince her to do something like that the relationship wouldn't last anyway.

[mgoblue]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

I also think it's funny to say "If my girl's friend encouraged her to cheat on me I'd make her stop being friends with that girl."

My guess is your girl probably has an idea how you'd feel about this before it actually happened and just wouldn't tell you. Probably means she wouldn't tell you about other things either. I think you guys think you're making your relationship better by taking control, but the universe unfolds as it will. You throw a road block, there will be a way around it. The focus should only be on the person. If you can trust her to do the right thing then everything/everyone around her is irrelevant.

Plus think about it from your side. What if she hated one of your friends and told you to stop being friends? Not so easy then, huh?

I wouldn't tell her to stop being friends with someone because I wouldn't want her doing it to me.

That being said, we'd have a big talk about how this friend is a douche and maybe she should reevaluate her friendship....Then she can figure it out.

[slickdtc]

I have friends who are idiots or nuisances. Not the same but similar enough. That doesn't mean we aren't friends.

What really doesn't matter here is the friend suggesting or even encouraging infidelity. What does matter is that Altimus's girl was like, "Nah."

I can tell someone to jump off a cliff. If they do it, am I to blame?

[Bmore Irish]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

I have friends who are idiots or nuisances. Not the same but similar enough. That doesn't mean we aren't friends.

What really doesn't matter here is the friend suggesting or even encouraging infidelity. What does matter is that Altimus's girl was like, "Nah."

I can tell someone to jump off a cliff. If they do it, am I to blame?

Actually if you made some sort of suicide pact with them and then didn't jump when they did, legally, you could be to blame. Depends on what kind of evidence is left.