GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

[wrigleyville33]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

She'll be fine as long as she drops the classic "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" line if other guys try to hit on her during this edc thing.

[Altimus]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Alright, so update time.

Throughout the whole weekend she pretty much texted me every hour, especially when at the concert. She would text how it's going, pictures and videos of EDC and etc. So we were in constant communication pretty much.

However, like you guys said and what I feared is she said she was offered drugs daily multiples times and guys kept hitting on her. Worse her dumb friend was like Mike isn't here so you can do it. Either way she didn't and barely drank.

In the end I learned I can't apply past experiences as it's not fair to her and just stresses me out. I'm happy I trusted her but next time she goes to a show for a few days like this I'm going with. Not because I don't trust her, just the others around her.

[VTPack919]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Alright, so update time.

Throughout the whole weekend she pretty much texted me every hour, especially when at the concert. She would text how it's going, pictures and videos of EDC and etc. So we were in constant communication pretty much.

However, like guys said and what I feared is she said she was offered drugs daily multiples times and guys kept hitting on her. Worse her dumb friend was like Mike isn't here so you can do it. Either way she didn't and barely drank.

In the end I learned I can't apply past experiences as it's not fair to her and just stresses me out. I'm happy I trusted her but next time she goes to a show for a few days like this I'm going with. Not because I don't trust her, just the others around her.

Exactly, and that has nothing to do with how much you trust her. Glad everything went alright, she sounds like a keeper!

[dsallupinyaarea]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Alright, so update time.

Throughout the whole weekend she pretty much texted me every hour, especially when at the concert. She would text how it's going, pictures and videos of EDC and etc. So we were in constant communication pretty much.

However, like you guys said and what I feared is she said she was offered drugs daily multiples times and guys kept hitting on her. Worse her dumb friend was like Mike isn't here so you can do it. Either way she didn't and barely drank.

In the end I learned I can't apply past experiences as it's not fair to her and just stresses me out. I'm happy I trusted her but next time she goes to a show for a few days like this I'm going with. Not because I don't trust her, just the others around her.

Glad to hear everything worked out.

[shugknight]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Good news all around. Things happened that everyone said they would, but you also learned one thing about her.. That she's trustworthy and isn't foolish enough to be tempted or pressured into situations she's not comfortable in.

Sounds like a winner.

Now.. it's time for you to go to the strip club!!

[OSUFan_88]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Worse her dumb friend was like Mike isn't here so you can do it.

Holy ****, you need to have a talk with this friend ASAP.

I'd be furious with this person.

[HealyMonster]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Alright, so update time.

Throughout the whole weekend she pretty much texted me every hour, especially when at the concert. She would text how it's going, pictures and videos of EDC and etc. So we were in constant communication pretty much.

However, like you guys said and what I feared is she said she was offered drugs daily multiples times and guys kept hitting on her. Worse her dumb friend was like Mike isn't here so you can do it. Either way she didn't and barely drank.

In the end I learned I can't apply past experiences as it's not fair to her and just stresses me out. I'm happy I trusted her but next time she goes to a show for a few days like this I'm going with. Not because I don't trust her, just the others around her.

Hate to tell you this bro, but your girlfriend most likely cheated on you.

Spoiler

LOL, just kidding man, glad it worked out

[Heroesandvillains]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Holy ****, you need to have a talk with this friend ASAP.

I'd be furious with this person.

Agreed.

Sorry to bump this thread but I just read through it and was startled by the part about the "friend."

Any person that would enable cheating should NOT be a friend of your relationship. Not associated with by her, you or both of you. Ever. Even casually (FB, texting, etc).

This person should not be in your girlfriend's life any longer. And honestly, if she didn't unfriend her immediately after ECD on her own volition, I'd have to wonder whether this girlfriend too was worth keeping around.

Friends like this are not friends.

[dsallupinyaarea]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Slipperly slope when you start telling your significant other who she can and can't be friends with. I'd pick a better battle.

[Fresh Tendrils]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Personally, if my friend is telling me to cheat I'm gonna knock him upside his head and leave his *** where he stands.

[DocHolliday]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Went to EDC and didn't do any drugs?

Spoiler

She is doing it wrong

[Heroesandvillains]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

Slipperly slope when you start telling your significant other who she can and can't be friends with. I'd pick a better battle.

I respect your opinion but I am sorry you see it this way.

When two people unite, all friends that aren't friends of the relationship are a danger and a threat to the relationship.

Now, I'm not referring to friends that offer to listen about problems and critique the partner and offer advice where they see fit (if their intentions are good). But a friend that advocates infidelity under any circumstance is not really a friend at all. Even bad relationships should not end in unfaithfulness.

This is a battle that needs to be fought.

[wwharton]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

I respect your opinion but I am sorry you see it this way.

When two people unite, all friends that aren't friends of the relationship are a danger and a threat to the relationship.

Now, I'm not referring to friends that offer to listen about problems and critique the partner and offer advice where they see fit (if their intentions are good). But a friend that advocates infidelity under any circumstance is not really a friend at all. Even bad relationships should not end in unfaithfulness.

This is a battle that needs to be fought.

And this is why there's somebody out there for everybody. One of my friends could be escorting naked women into my hotel room, it's still my decision whether or not I'm going to do anything with them. That's for me to deal with and my significant other to trust that I will properly. I'll be damned if anyone tells me what friends I can or can't have... especially guy friends (or girl friends if it's a woman we're talking about). As already mentioned, if you feel like you need to control any part of the environment around your significant other to keep them faithful then you don't trust them enough to be your significant other.

And this train of thought always rubs me the wrong way bc it's just an extension of "guilty by association" or "birds of a feather flock together". I'm my own person and I'm asking someone to be with me, not my friends. I want someone who I can respect on the same level because if any adult will blame their friends for any idiotic decision they make I don't want anything to do with them on any level.

This thread should be a perfect example of how this all works. Some of you would've possibly caused a big fight about this with your lady. Maybe enough to keep her from going, and whether you realize it or not, the uncertainty brought on about it would hang over you for the rest of your relationship. Instead, the woman here proved where she stands and how an adult should handle a situation like this. I bet their relationship is stronger over something a simple as this. Trust is a powerful thing. Gotta let go of the control issues.

Don't get me wrong, that friend is a POS and you may want to "accidentally key her car or do other bad things. But it still needs to be up to the woman whether she remains in her life. Nobody's perfect and that "friend" isn't there to help her with guys... she's got a guy. Nobody knows what that friend means to her but her. With everyone, gotta learn how to take the good with the bad.

[mgoblue]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

And this is why there's somebody out there for everybody. One of my friends could be escorting naked women into my hotel room, it's still my decision whether or not I'm going to do anything with them. That's for me to deal with and my significant other to trust that I will properly. I'll be damned if anyone tells me what friends I can or can't have... especially guy friends (or girl friends if it's a woman we're talking about). As already mentioned, if you feel like you need to control any part of the environment around your significant other to keep them faithful then you don't trust them enough to be your significant other.

And this train of thought always rubs me the wrong way bc it's just an extension of "guilty by association" or "birds of a feather flock together". I'm my own person and I'm asking someone to be with me, not my friends. I want someone who I can respect on the same level because if any adult will blame their friends for any idiotic decision they make I don't want anything to do with them on any level.

This thread should be a perfect example of how this all works. Some of you would've possibly caused a big fight about this with your lady. Maybe enough to keep her from going, and whether you realize it or not, the uncertainty brought on about it would hang over you for the rest of your relationship. Instead, the woman here proved where she stands and how an adult should handle a situation like this. I bet their relationship is stronger over something a simple as this. Trust is a powerful thing. Gotta let go of the control issues.

Don't get me wrong, that friend is a POS and you may want to "accidentally key her car or do other bad things. But it still needs to be up to the woman whether she remains in her life. Nobody's perfect and that "friend" isn't there to help her with guys... she's got a guy. Nobody knows what that friend means to her but her. With everyone, gotta learn how to take the good with the bad.

I agree. I trust that my wife would get fed up with this chick and dump her. Or handle her in her own way.

If I couldn't trust my wife it'd be crazy. I guess that's how some guys turn all possessive and whatnot.

I know what my wife is like, so I know she won't cheat or do anything crazy. If you don't know someone well enough to trust then you definitely shouldn't marry them.

[Heroesandvillains]

Re: GF going to EDC for weekend without me... question

And this is why there's somebody out there for everybody. One of my friends could be escorting naked women into my hotel room, it's still my decision whether or not I'm going to do anything with them. That's for me to deal with and my significant other to trust that I will properly. I'll be damned if anyone tells me what friends I can or can't have... especially guy friends (or girl friends if it's a woman we're talking about). As already mentioned, if you feel like you need to control any part of the environment around your significant other to keep them faithful then you don't trust them enough to be your significant other.

And this train of thought always rubs me the wrong way bc it's just an extension of "guilty by association" or "birds of a feather flock together". I'm my own person and I'm asking someone to be with me, not my friends. I want someone who I can respect on the same level because if any adult will blame their friends for any idiotic decision they make I don't want anything to do with them on any level.

This thread should be a perfect example of how this all works. Some of you would've possibly caused a big fight about this with your lady. Maybe enough to keep her from going, and whether you realize it or not, the uncertainty brought on about it would hang over you for the rest of your relationship. Instead, the woman here proved where she stands and how an adult should handle a situation like this. I bet their relationship is stronger over something a simple as this. Trust is a powerful thing. Gotta let go of the control issues.

Don't get me wrong, that friend is a POS and you may want to "accidentally key her car or do other bad things. But it still needs to be up to the woman whether she remains in her life. Nobody's perfect and that "friend" isn't there to help her with guys... she's got a guy. Nobody knows what that friend means to her but her. With everyone, gotta learn how to take the good with the bad.

I agree. I trust that my wife would get fed up with this chick and dump her. Or handle her in her own way.

If I couldn't trust my wife it'd be crazy. I guess that's how some guys turn all possessive and whatnot.

I know what my wife is like, so I know she won't cheat or do anything crazy. If you don't know someone well enough to trust then you definitely shouldn't marry them.

I agree with almost all of the points made here. I think we can isolate our fundamental difference of opinion here on one specific part: Whether or not this friend should continue to be so.

First, friends that advocate lying because they believe the person will not get caught is not doing what friends are designed to do - that is caring for that person's welfare.

We could be talking a number of topics outside of infidelity and the same would be true. Taking drugs, stealing from your job, abusing a child, etc. My fiancé would do none of these things if her friend suggested it. The subject at hand is whether or not this person is truly a "friend."

I believe they are not.

Further, I believe these people are dangerous and are unhealthy to be around.

Relationships are delicate. Any outside person attempting to pull the relationship apart are at the very least a distraction, and can chip away at the delicate material relationships are built out of. Even if the relationship is unbreakable. These chisels create strain; no matter how minor they appear to be.

A friend of mine, a devout Christian, told me one day about a co-worker of his. This friend, "Told (him) a joke where the punch line had a girl on her knees getting punched in the face." I think some of you may know the joke.

On Sunday - this being several days after the joke - while at church, he suddenly remembered the joke and it hit him. He said, "I realized that I shouldn't be thinking about these things. I have a wife and three kids that I love more than anything and here I am at church, thinking unintentionally about that joke. About that image. I don't want to be around stuff like that. I don't want friends like that anymore."

Now I'm not advocating someone unfriend anyone because they hold different values than you or your partner. That's not my point. My point is that the human brain is easily imprinted, thoughts can come up out of nowhere, and random things like "she's my friend and thinks I should sleep with some dude" should not have to even be considered. Especially when the words came out of the mouth of a confidant or ally.

The friend is NOT on the GF's side. Not on the BF's side, and therefore is not on the side of the relationship. Period.

My original post said that the GF should have unfriended this girl immediately. And if she hadn't it would at least make me wonder about my OWN PARTNER'S priorities.

I am not talking about anyone succumbing to peer pressure. I'm talking about friendship and what it really means.