More Relationship Advice

[AUChase]

Re: More Relationship Advice

If you tell her you been looking through her phone, she's going to tell you exactly what everyone else here did.

If you hide it, it will eventually resurface. Something like that always does, likely in a later fight or dispute.

I just think you ****ed up and put yourself in a worse situation when you invaded her privacy.

Let us know how it goes.. Good luck.

[J-Clutch1]

Re: More Relationship Advice

At this point I'm terrified of telling her I looked through her phone. From what you guys are saying, that's the kiss of death

It is the kiss of death. There really is no positive reaction you could expect.

Let it go for now, and if you notice you two are becoming distant or something of the sort, then just say that - let her know what you feel and that you want to be assured she still thinks things can work out.

[ScoobySnax]

I think it's time for an "OS Relationship Advice Thread"

[kingkilla56]

Re: More Relationship Advice

At this point I'm terrified of telling her I looked through her phone. From what you guys are saying, that's the kiss of death

Well yeah, you didnt make this easy on yourself. You can either bring it up head on and explain yourself and what made you do it, or you can just sit there and let your imagination freak you out...which is already happening it seems. Hey maybe this will all just blow over and you can just accept that she has a friendship with her ex. That she keeps secret...because you told her it upsets you.

3 options
break up,
shut up and deal with it,
or take it on head on and accept what comes from that convo with her

If you cant communicate with your significant other then you are doomed in the long run anyway. But 17 year olds dont like being that direct. Good luck!

[Fly3]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Thread is going in circles.

[Redskinsfan26]

Alright fellas, I wanna thank all of you because I really do appreciate it. It helps a lot to talk it out with level-minded people. Right now the best thing for me is to wait a day, collect my thoughts, and just talk to her about it.

You guys have made it clear that communication is key, so maybe the best route is to explain everything, and admit that I was wrong. If that ends the relationship, then so be it.

I

[jeremym480]

Re: More Relationship Advice

I would say next time she's talking about him, bring it up like "whats he up to? Hows he doing?" and then you can move the conversation like have you and him become friends? whats been up? You've been talking about him a lot lately. If you know your girl, you will probably be able to tell if shes hiding something,etc.

Stop looking at her phone too. lol.

This is probably the best course of action. Next time she brings him up just causally ask about him and she if she fesses up. Not that she really has anything to fess up to from what I've heard, but you can at least she if she pulls an Evan.

If she's truthful, then you have nothing to worry about, but if she lies then your distrust of her was warranted. If that's the case, then it's best to just cut your losses. Either way, I would stop snooping on her from now on. Nothing good can come from that. If you can't trust her why are you in a relationship with her to begin with?

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Best course of action at this point would be to sleep with one of her friends.

Jeezus, that was a good laugh

[cardsfan2222]

Re: More Relationship Advice

You have to decide if your trust issues are worth ending the relationship over. Any girl you date is going to have exes or guy friends. You can't expect her to never talk to other guys. I would definitely not recommend you ever telling her you went though her phone. Not only will that probably end this relationship, but you don't want it to get around that you snoop.

[wwharton]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Some of the best advice on here. You hit the nail on the head when you said it's because I don't want to lose her. This is my first real relationship, so every little thing makes me jump to worst case scenario, which is a horrible state to be in. I guess it's just something I have to work on

Thing is this is mostly likely far from your last relationship. That means two things. One, this one will end at some point. And two, you'll learn along the way and get better at situations like this IF YOU WANT TO. Sounds like you wish you weren't freaking out about stuff like this so just think it through and you'll get better.

Alright fellas, I wanna thank all of you because I really do appreciate it. It helps a lot to talk it out with level-minded people. Right now the best thing for me is to wait a day, collect my thoughts, and just talk to her about it.

You guys have made it clear that communication is key, so maybe the best route is to explain everything, and admit that I was wrong. If that ends the relationship, then so be it.

I

If this is the route you want to take, just make sure you put everything on you. Any hint that you think she did something wrong and she will flip on you and any chance at helpful communication is out the window. Don't ask if she's still into her ex (don't do it... trust me, just don't). The conversation should be around you having trust issues and the reason being bc of how important she is to you... and most importantly, you're telling her bc you want to and plan on working on them.

She might still flip out. If so, lesson learned... everyone in this thread promises you'll be fine and there will be another girl you don't think you can live without in the future. She also may actually be feeling her ex and your honesty should bring that to a head if not immediately then soon. End result would also suck for this relationship but it'd be a good way to getting to an inevitable place.

From what we know, it seems like it's nothing though and you don't have anything to worry about. And being open and honest may bring you two even closer together. Either way, it's worth the risk. I'd say it's just good that you even care enough to have this thought process. That alone will help you grow no matter the result.

[Nathan_OS]

Re: More Relationship Advice

This is basically it man.

Don't go snooping around your girls stuff. EVER.

And if you don't trust her, why are you with her?

Unless she gives you the go ahead to go snoop WHILE she's there, which is rare, then don't ever do man.

[Redskinsfan26]

This is basically it man.

Don't go snooping around your girls stuff. EVER.

And if you don't trust her, why are you with her?

Unless she gives you the go ahead to go snoop WHILE she's there, which is rare, then don't ever do man.

I gotcha. Lesson learned.

[shugknight]

Re: More Relationship Advice

When you go through somebody's phone, that means you don't trust her.

When you don't trust her, that means there is reason to believe she's not being faithful to you.

When any of these things come into play during a relationship, it's best to cut your loses.

Otherwise, you'll lose your mind anytime she goes out with her friends or gets a text message.

[SuperBowlNachos]

Re: More Relationship Advice

Stopped reading when I saw you were 18 and she was 17.

Dump her. I assume you are either still in HS or just graduated. You'll get over it in a week.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: More Relationship Advice

To be brutally honest, statistics say it wouldn't have worked out anyway. You'll never have any peace/long-term happiness because you don't trust her. Probably best to move on. Need to be in a relationship with someone you trust.