Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

[Burns11]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

Him pushing past my daughter, who is confined to a wheelchair, to the extent that his body is rubbing against hers and knocking her glasses from her face is a hell of a lot different then somebody brushing up against my car and leaving fingerprints. A lot different.

And maybe the instinct is wrong, but the instinct was/is the instinct.

That being your takeaway from that analogy is sad, and just proves you didn't want opinions and discussion, you just wanted absolution.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

That being your takeaway from that analogy is sad, and just proves you didn't want opinions and discussion, you just wanted absolution.

in my humble opinion, you comparing the two situations is sad.

And I did want opinions and discussion, which is why posted the thread. I didn't come hear looking for approval, to be told its ok what I did, forgiveness, or anything of the sort. I don't need any of that from the community. I got that from my wife and daughter.

[jeremym480]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

in my humble opinion, you comparing the two situations is sad.

And I did want opinions and discussion, which is why posted the thread. I didn't come hear looking for approval, to be told its ok what I did, forgiveness, or anything of the sort. I don't need any of that from the community. I got that from my wife and daughter.

He's not comparing your daughter to a car... he's comparing the reaction. Which I think is a fair analogy. Obviously we weren't there and we can only play "Monday Morning Quarterback", but if nothing was ever said, would the situation have escalated the way it did?

For the record, I don't blame you. I was a bit of a hot head back in the day so I can say for 100% that I would have done anything different than you if someone had done something like that to one of my loved ones. However, I know that demanding things in an aggressive manner towards another adult rarely results into anything positive.

[Burns11]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

in my humble opinion, you comparing the two situations is sad.

I'm not comparing the two situations, it's an analogy meant to show you the psychological parallels of two situations.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

He's not comparing your daughter to a car... he's comparing the reaction. Which I think is a fair analogy. Obviously we weren't there and we can only play "Monday Morning Quarterback", but if nothing was ever said, would the situation have escalated the way it did?

For the record, I don't blame you. I was a bit of a hot head back in the day so I can say for 100% that I would have done anything different than you if someone had done something like that to one of my loved ones. However, I know that demanding things in an aggressive manner towards another adult rarely results into anything positive.

And again, I don't think its a fair analogy. My reaction was based on my feel to "protect" my daughter. And if he asks her to move, or goes around, the situation doesn't escalate the way it did, right?

[Cardot]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

And again, I don't think its a fair analogy. My reaction was based on my feel to "protect" my daughter.

I don't understand how demanding an apology aligns with protection? If I felt my child was in danger, my sole focus would be getting them away from the danger. Demanding an apology would only prolong the situation and seem to bring the problem closer.

[Burns11]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

And if he asks her to move, or goes around, the situation doesn't escalate the way it did, right?

He was wrong, him being in the wrong doesn't mitigate you being wrong as well.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I don't understand how demanding an apology aligns with protection? If I felt my child was in danger, my sole focus would be getting them away from the danger. Demanding an apology would only prolong the situation and seem to bring the problem closer.

Protection was when he verbally abused her.

I demanded an apology because she deserved one. And I wasn't going to let her, nor should she feel, like less of a person who deserves little respect, to not demand one for her.

If you're out and someone basically pushes past you to get somewhere, would you expect/demand/request them to apologize to you? Whether you verbalize it or not, would you in your mind, expect them to apologize?

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

He was wrong, him being in the wrong doesn't mitigate you being wrong as well.

I never claimed it did.

[TheShizNo1]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

If you're out and someone basically pushes past you to get somewhere, would you expect/demand/request them to apologize to you? Whether you verbalize it or not, would you in your mind, expect them to apologize?

I'd probably ask them what their problem is. If they apologize, cool. If not, my day goes on without an altercation.

In your case? I'll have hoped I talked to my child about life and people. How some people just suck and how life isn't fair. Hopefully this child would grow and learn how to not let those kinds of actions by that guy impact him/her too much. Hopefully my wife and I have made her/him feel loved and special enough that she/she doesn't take to heart what foolish strangers say about her/him. And hopefully I don't contradict what I've told her/him by letting my emotions get the best of me and making something a potentially bigger deal than what it was.

But hopefully I'm never in that situation.

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[ANDROMADA 1]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

Sorry to hear that Country.

You did what you saw fit to do. I would have gladly chin checked him for you before he got the words out. Its business and that fool made it your business by making contact with your child in such a brazen manner. He got off easy.


best regards

[ubernoob]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I never claimed it did.

It's the way you're acting, not your words that claim such.

You are just in here looking for "Yeah man, way to go you did the right thing" when you didn't. It's as simple as that.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

It's the way you're acting, not your words that claim such.

You are just in here looking for "Yeah man, way to go you did the right thing" when you didn't. It's as simple as that.

I'm glad you know what I'm here for moreso than I do. Appreciated.

[countryboy]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

I'd probably ask them what their problem is. If they apologize, cool. If not, my day goes on without an altercation.

This right here escalates things according to some in this thread. What you would've said and what I said are really no different in terms of aggression towards the person.

In your case? I'll have hoped I talked to my child about life and people. How some people just suck and how life isn't fair. Hopefully this child would grow and learn how to not let those kinds of actions by that guy impact him/her too much. Hopefully my wife and I have made her/him feel loved and special enough that she/she doesn't take to heart what foolish strangers say about her/him. And hopefully I don't contradict what I've told her/him by letting my emotions get the best of me and making something a potentially bigger deal than what it was.

We have talked to our daughter about life and how some people stink in it. Which is why she didn't say anything to the man. So yes, she knows to an extent how life stinks at times and how some people can downright at times make it miserable for the rest of us.

Having said that, I will always raise my kids to know that fighting isn't always the answer, but sometimes you have no choice. You can't just lay down and let the world push you around, which is what I feel that I demonstrated, right or wrong, in this situation.

But hopefully I'm never in that situation.


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I hope so as well. It truly is a no win situation.

[NDAlum]

Re: Did I handle this situation incorrectly? Advice/opinion appreciated.

If I do something like this in my job I would be fired and the city would be sued. No questions asked