How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

[jasontoddwhitt]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

That's the neat part...I don't proactively manage it.

In all seriousness, over the past year, I have survived a terminated engagement, being laid off, and a particularly nasty bout of Covid.

I survived the first three and have upgraded from being a fat a** to having a dad bod by losing 55 pounds. So hey, I look at the brighter side of things and realized what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

[dickey1331]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I just deal with it and learn to live with it. I dont really do anything. Frog boy is kinda how I deal with it. I deal with it by doing nothing. Essentially stopped caring.

[EUBlink]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

While ignoring it or dealing with it may seem like a perfectly acceptable response, and for one that handles anxiety and stress like this, perhaps that is an acceptable response for the time being, but the overwhelming majority of people, at some point in their lives, will experience anxiety that cannot be simply ignored or dealt with as has been discussed when talking about dealing with it by just dealing with it.

Anxiety and stress, when ignored, can lead to serious health issues later down the road such as, but certainly not limited to, depression, insomnia, gastrointestinal problems as well as the possibility of the anxiety triggering the onset of other mental health issues or disorders.

Basically, I respect that some people can deal with anxiety easier than others, but not everyone can and, as our society has evolved/devolved socially, many more are now dealing with chronic anxiety, which is a tell-tale for developing generalized anxiety disorders and beyond.

Study the mind. Our brains are so intimidating to really study at first but once you start finding ways to trick your own brain to control or manage stress, make it easier to learn, learn to read faster and retain written text or audio lessons better than before, and all of this without the need for any additional medication than your daily regimen, you can really open the door to a multitude of possibilities toward improving your own life and other lives around you... just by learning about your own mind and how to better control it.

Just my two cents on handling anxiety just by assuming it will always go away. There may, and likely will, come a day that your brain just doesn't flip the switch like it did before, and having techniques to better deal with situations before they begin will make you appreciate having the ability to do so.

[l3ulvl]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

Even when I get advice from experts I'm like "but what if..."


The "but what if" is my killer. Even when they have extra help I always have "yeah but what if" in response to everything, and they can't really help. They try, but when you're in your own head to the extreme, you can't just force it to work. It's frustrating


I had a therapist help me with easy stuff, and I struggled with that, like, maintenance needed to come over and check smoke alarm batteries. Easy peasy right? My mind can't handle it, they gave an 8 hour window of when they'd come up over. What if they come over when I'm going to the bathroom? what if I fart and it stinks and they come over right after? What if I'm asleep and wake up with a boner and have to answer the door like that? Therapist suggested I wake up and squeeze ice cubes, it'll switch the focus in my body because of all the nerve endings in my palms. My response of course "but what if they shake my hand?"

[Caulfield]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

Even when I get advice from experts I'm like "but what if..."


The "but what if" is my killer. Even when they have extra help I always have "yeah but what if" in response to everything, and they can't really help. They try, but when you're in your own head to the extreme, you can't just force it to work. It's frustrating


I had a therapist help me with easy stuff, and I struggled with that, like, maintenance needed to come over and check smoke alarm batteries. Easy peasy right? My mind can't handle it, they gave an 8 hour window of when they'd come up over. What if they come over when I'm going to the bathroom? what if I fart and it stinks and they come over right after? What if I'm asleep and wake up with a boner and have to answer the door like that? Therapist suggested I wake up and squeeze ice cubes, it'll switch the focus in my body because of all the nerve endings in my palms. My response of course "but what if they shake my hand?"

*fist bump*
if covid taught us anything, it's that

[EUBlink]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

Even when I get advice from experts I'm like "but what if..."

The "but what if" is my killer. Even when they have extra help I always have "yeah but what if" in response to everything, and they can't really help. They try, but when you're in your own head to the extreme, you can't just force it to work. It's frustrating

I had a therapist help me with easy stuff, and I struggled with that, like, maintenance needed to come over and check smoke alarm batteries. Easy peasy right? My mind can't handle it, they gave an 8 hour window of when they'd come up over. What if they come over when I'm going to the bathroom? what if I fart and it stinks and they come over right after? What if I'm asleep and wake up with a boner and have to answer the door like that? Therapist suggested I wake up and squeeze ice cubes, it'll switch the focus in my body because of all the nerve endings in my palms. My response of course "but what if they shake my hand?"

This may sound silly, but hear me out.

When you go through the “What if?” scenarios mentally, do you answer the question or just try to ignore the urge and move on? You may find that pushing yourself to answer each and every “What if?” with a reasonable response, it may help you curb the impulse to ask yourself that question.

Also, our brains are devices of habit. When you wake up each day, try saying, out loud, something along the lines of, “Today, I won’t concern myself with the “What if?”, but will approach each step by living only in that moment alone.” If you repeat the same sentence to yourself one or multiple times every single day, you may also find that you are training your mind to be more at ease. It’s really not much different than having a cup of coffee or a cigarette or even just reading the news when you wake up daily, as your mind will establish that repeated process and you will create a controlled, healthier habit within your own brain.

[ODogg]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I thought I had a fairly good handle on things but then when trying to make plans for Thanksgiving I got into it with my mom, who refused to go to my dad's house for Thanksgiving (they invited her) but demanded that after the party I bring her a plate.

I told her that my plans were to visit her first, hang out, then go to my dads, and I couldn't bring her a plate afterwards as it'd be too late at night and I had a 3 hour drive home. I recommended she get a turkey dinner or something from the store or a local restaurant (I mean it's just food in my view, the important thing is seeing family & friends) but she wouldn't accept it and kept begging me and my wife to travel 2 hours out of our way to bring her a plate of turkey and stuff.

I got frustrated by all the back and forth and just canceled the entire trip. Now I will be making my own Thanksgiving meal for my wife and I at home.

It's frustrating as I feel I have a pretty good handle on most things, but I just can't deal with my family and how they act around the holidays. Makes me really think my wife and I need to move away sooner rather than later, as we've been planning.

Now that everything has been canceled and I won't be seeing anyone, the reality is it's sort of hitting me that I'm pretty much on my own, as I have been most of my life and only have my wife as an anchor in my life and that realization is pretty disheartening.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful to have my wife but it's still disappointing to think that at age 52 all I really have in my life really is one person.. And I just don't know, or even if, I can deal with/interact with my family, or even if they are worth the time or not of thinking about any further.

I think what also makes it depressing is that despite all the therapy and years of working on myself, nothing at all seems changed with how my family act and interact with me and it's looking like nothing ever will either.

[countryboy]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

Why not still go to your Dads and enjoy Thanksgiving with the family and friends that are there? If your Mom doesn't want to accept the invite, then that's her issue to deal with, not yours. I know she's demanding you bring her plate, but tell her no and enjoy yourself at your Dads house.

[ODogg]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

Why not still go to your Dads and enjoy Thanksgiving with the family and friends that are there? If your Mom doesn't want to accept the invite, then that's her issue to deal with, not yours. I know she's demanding you bring her plate, but tell her no and enjoy yourself at your Dads house.

Yeah that's what my older sister said but then my mom would be mad at me for going down there (it's about 5 hours or so round trip) and not visiting her. I did consider doing this but my wife thought it best we just not go to not cause grief.

[countryboy]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

Yeah that's what my older sister said but then my mom would be mad at me for going down there (it's about 5 hours or so round trip) and not visiting her. I did consider doing this but my wife thought it best we just not go to not cause grief.

But you could do everything you had planned. Visit your mom and then go to your Dads house and enjoy Thanksgiving with family and friends. If your mom gets mad at you because you didn't bring her back a plate from a dinner she was invited to, then so be it.

Why sacrifice yourself and your connection with other family members because of her being mad? I understand its uncomfortable, but I think backing out all together is not only providing her with the power to decide what family functions you attend, but also bringing you grief from other family members because you chose to not attend simply because it upset your mom.

You stated the most important things is family and friends, but are willing to sacrifice that in order to keep peace with your mom who seemingly trying to get you to join in her misery, and right now is accomplishing that

[Hammerhunker]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I wake up everyday (most days actually, I like to embellish things) with the feeling of impending doom. My focus is on what is around the corner instead of what is around me in the moment. I spend such quality time dwelling on what may be...so frustrating.

I do attempt to focus on the grind; the daily focus on my responsibilities and the wonderful positives I have in my life. I love the reminder of "get to" instead of "have to". That helps me focus. Doesn't always get done very well, but I try.

It's the way I am with many years of honing and unless I find the magic spell, I expect I'll be dwelling until the end.

[GatorsLF3]

How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

So part of your homework is to find a way to reduce stress. You have also made a post about about social media being damaging but on Twitter it’s a whole different story.

[mike9199]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

Meditation, avoiding stress, dealing with my problems on time

[Smallville102001]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I would say biggest thing would be try to advoid what ever your stress/anxiety trigger is. I can't get away from mine unfortunately.

I don't really handle it. That is why I am around 50 lbs over weight been stressed out for basically 10+ years just can't seem to catch a break, and so I eat a lot of things like cookies, ice cream etc to try to cop with it. Was stuck at a job I hated for 9 years because I couldn't find another job no matter how hard I tried. I keep hearing people say there are jobs out there but like 80% of jobs will not train you and expect you to have a 4 year degree and lots of experience. I even went back and got my AA to try to stand out a little bit more. Out of the remaining like 20% of jobs that don't require you to have a 4 year degree and such you are one of like 50 people who are trying for the one spot.

At the job I hated and feelt so trapped there for those 9 years that I would basically have panic attacks ever day at work. For years I would have just quit but if you quit you can't go on unemployment and if you can't go on unemployment or find a job than how do you make money? I was worried that I would snap any day and get fired to because off all the frustration that I had built up combined with the fact I don't have a poker face like at all.

I also feel like I can't be my self with woman seem to just creep woman out and that also was causing me daily panic attacks for a while as I was being reminded a lot that I am not even good enough for the friendzone because of stuff that had happened. I am not natural a confident person and all the time I have put into job hunting to only not hear back/get rejection emails has killed my already naturally low self esteem and the few issues I had with woman and feeling like I can't be my self only killed my self esteem even more.

I finally got out of job middle of last year only because of a friend putting in a word in for me but only for the new job to get bought out a few months later and be told they would be closing by end of 2022. So it's like really just really I can't find a job I finally get out only for new place to get bought out shortly after and force me back to dealing with this broken job market. How cursed am I? So yeah going to get laid of this Friday December 30, and will have to go on unemployment and I know normally you can only be on unemployment for 6 months and that is nothing considering I have basically been job hunting for 10 years and can't get anything. I am bitter person as a result of this and I wish I could get back the thousands and thousands of hours I have spent looking for a job back.

Even though you don't get a lot from unemployment if I could I would just live on unemployment for all my life or go out on disability for emotional destress because that is all job hunting causes me any more. I have not been able to sleep to because of it before this I could fall asleep In like 15 minutes and stay asleep all night until my alarm clock went off now it's waking up like 6 times a night. Looking at jobs makes me like physical sick now because I am just so tired of doing it feels like all my life is anymore is working and looking for work just so over it

[PVarck31]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

The biggest problem for me is to see the difference between the anxiety episodes and the beginning of depression. When do you realize that your current situations is not okay anymore and you should get a professional help?

I think you answered your own question. If you feel that way, then seek help. Better to do it now before things get worse.