How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

[ODogg]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I have posted in the past about my struggles with anxiety and have, just recently, gotten a better handle on it. Its definitely a long road and one that never ends because it is a part of you. I, like you, feel like I have just embraced who the true me is and that is a good thing. If your friends don't like who you are, then that is their loss, especially if you accept them for who they are. We all have difference of opiinions. I personally don't want someone around me who thinks exactly the same as I do, that would be quite boring.

I will leave you with this, which has helped me tremendously. When you start to doubt who you are and your struggle with anxiety and depression, just think the phrase "Progress, not perfection". My wife, who has been tremendous in helping me get a handle on my anxiety, told me that one night. She said its all about not trying to be perfect but just the progress you have made. If you take the moment in your life and compare it to the worst moment in your life, is it really the worst? Have you made even just a little progress in getting a handle on anxiety and depression? So, just think, "Its all about progress, not perfection."

Keep on doing the things you enjoy ODogg and keep working on yourself. Its a daily thing, so just take it minute by minute.

Thanks for the support and I am going to try that starting today. I think that will help. It's really difficult feeling isolated. I know it's sort of odd but I cannot wait for football just to feel a part of something again.

But I mean it when I say thanks for taking the time to write this. It really helps to know someone that I do not know has the same issues and cares enough about a stranger to spend some of one's own personal time to write out such a thoughtful reply

[l3ulvl]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

it's also difficult when your friends don't believe/accept your mental health issues, I've had a friend for 20 years that ghosted and deleted me a year ago, he doesn't get it, once he made the decision, I was like like wow ok then

a month ago at a store we crossed paths and locked eyes, it was crazy awkward, I thought we'd just keep walking, instead he stopped and turned and called me out by name, I said "no" in a panic, like, why is he talking to me? he's the one who ended this. He said "what's up, dude?" like all happy.

My brain can't handle this moment and I said "sorry man" and kept walking. It was a dick move, but I don't owe him a stop n chat after what he did

so as I walk away he shouts in the middle of the crowded store "not gonna say nothin!? just gonna keep walkin!?" making a scene, like I was in the wrong, I couldn't get out of there fast enough, it was horrible

he ends up messaging me (which I didn't think he could do after previously deleting me), calling me out for blowing him off and turning himself into the victim, it was ridiculous

[ODogg]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

it's also difficult when your friends don't believe/accept your mental health issues, I've had a friend for 20 years that ghosted and deleted me a year ago, he doesn't get it, once he made the decision, I was like like wow ok then

a month ago at a store we crossed paths and locked eyes, it was crazy awkward, I thought we'd just keep walking, instead he stopped and turned and called me out by name, I said "no" in a panic, like, why is he talking to me? he's the one who ended this. He said "what's up, dude?" like all happy.

My brain can't handle this moment and I said "sorry man" and kept walking. It was a dick move, but I don't owe him a stop n chat after what he did

so as I walk away he shouts in the middle of the crowded store "not gonna say nothin!? just gonna keep walkin!?" making a scene, like I was in the wrong, I couldn't get out of there fast enough, it was horrible

he ends up messaging me (which I didn't think he could do after previously deleting me), calling me out for blowing him off and turning himself into the victim, it was ridiculous

well that is awful, don't let him gaslight you, it is on him, I too have experienced this with my family, which is why I try to minimize my contact with them. they are all suffering greatly from mental health issues but they let it manifest in ways like above, confrontational basically...and with no sympathy for others struggles.

keep your head up, some folks just don't get it!

[tarheelguy4736]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

Thanks for the support and I am going to try that starting today. I think that will help. It's really difficult feeling isolated. I know it's sort of odd but I cannot wait for football just to feel a part of something again.

But I mean it when I say thanks for taking the time to write this. It really helps to know someone that I do not know has the same issues and cares enough about a stranger to spend some of one's own personal time to write out such a thoughtful reply

Of course! The thing I have learned with dealing with all of this, specifically anxiety, is that we are not alone. Everyone deals with it, some more than others. I feel like we are getting to a point in society where it isn't frowned upon to talk about it more, which is a good thing.

I often share my story of struggle with anxiety with people who may be a little reluctant to open up or feel like what they are feeling doesnt matter. Because more times than not, someone is going through or has gone through what you are going through and if I can provide just a small slither of hope or help in anyway, then that is a good thing.

[tarheelguy4736]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I wanted to check in with everyone here on OS to see how people are doing. Just want people hear to know if you need someone to talk to, dont be afraid to reach out.

[ClassActFan]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I struggle. AVIDLY. I don't do well managing it, but people around me (except for my little lady -- she sees through my BS) think otherwise, that I'm cooler than a cucumber outside, but truthfully, it's more shakey than Marc Bulger trying to stand in the pocket for the 2008 STL Rams.

Real talk. I went back to school in the mid-2010s and it was tough to learn how to become a student again, but all was well. In November 2018, exactly a month before graduation and just a few days before having to take my degree assessment exam, on top of two 15-page papers being due for two respective classes, my mother had a stroke, which was one of the scariest moments of my life when she called me at 7pm and said, "I can't move." I asked, "What do you mean?" and she told me she could not move her legs or get out of bed.

I went over there, and because the door was locked, I had to break into my old childhood home to get to her. Promptly called for an ambulance. She was in the hospital for 18 days, missing Thanksgiving. I hosted the family Thanksgiving that year on top of the schoolwork, in between writing the papers and seeing my mom while she was in the hospital daily, and it took its toll on me.

Everybody thought I was doing great. Truth is, in the months prior to this, I had started using nicotine gum to help with my studying and paperwriting sessions on top of working to get my focus right and to fight fatigue. At first, it was OK. I used about 2mg once a week, but after my mother's stroke, it spiraled into several 8mg nicotine pouches a day, which I have never kicked and still cannot kick today. They are a crutch for anxiety now. Do not start them. They were a great nootropic, especially with caffeine, for studying way back when, but once I started chasing the dragon, it was over.

I know, that's a mild thing, but it's annoying to be beholden to anything in this life.

Anyway, a lot of crap went down as the years ensued. Mom never regained full feeling of one of her feet and has had to rely on a walker ever since. My aunt, her sister who is like a second mother to me, had a heart attack in 2019 and then a diverticulitis infection that went septic; in 2021 the same aunt was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer -- she has since beat the cancer, for now, but we nearly lost her a few months ago from pneumonia + a UTI that went septic. She has been on oxygen since.

The anxiety ramped up during the pandemic because I was deathly afraid of them getting COVID. They did, eventually, both of them at the same time in June 2022. My aunt's blood pressure dropped big time and fell in her home. THANK GOODNESS her grandson was over there (a walking distance away from here) and called me. We got an ambulance for her.

As for my mom, she is now in the early stages of dementia. She has more good days than bad days for now, but it does hurt to see that she is already a shell of who she used to be. My strong mother, who used to love to go outside and was into gardening, who loved to travel, who loved to read and laugh and cook dinners for the family... she does none of that. Well... a little bit of traveling but she can't handle much. She'll read but struggles to retain the information.

It hurts already and I dread the future, but as of right now I cherish every moment.

I'm a caregiver now. That's how I got back into gaming after the better part of a decade away. My wife is a saint for doing all that she does. She got me a Series X last year to deal with the stress, and it's helped.

I had general anxiety over random things before 2018, but usually, these days, I feel so much dread. Like an undercurrent of dread, like something awful is always on the horizon, after these past five years of seemingly everything going wrong.

I'm constantly second guessing myself on whether I'm doing enough, if I could be doing more. I know I'm just fighting the inevitable regarding my 72-year-old mother, but I have her take both Vitamin B complex and chelated magnesium glycinate for her mind in addition to her medicine, just in hopes she continues to enjoy her life, because she still has so much life right now. She loves Yellowstone and seeing the rabbits run around our yard. And ice cream from a local shop. And food. And George freakin' Clooney LMAO.

I have an addictive personality. My dad is my hero, but he was an alcoholic. He died from cirrhosis 20 years ago. He simply could not go a day without drinking, but he is forever my hero because he gave his all for the family and was always present in my life despite owning a business and working tirelessly. I digress. I only drink socially, which is only 6-8 times a year, because I don't want to ever fall into that trap.

Ahh.... rambling my life story on a forum that I joined nearly 20 years ago to talk about video games. Sorry. If you read this far, thank you. Just venting. I'm grateful for all the good things in life. Truly. But my biggest fight is that, "what's terrible that is going to happen next?" feeling. So ever-present.

Much love to all you guys fighting the good fight.

[l3ulvl]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I don't really have anything to chip in, but thank you for sharing best wishes on all fronts

[ODogg]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I struggle. AVIDLY. I don't do well managing it, but people around me (except for my little lady -- she sees through my BS) think otherwise, that I'm cooler than a cucumber outside, but truthfully, it's more shakey than Marc Bulger trying to stand in the pocket for the 2008 STL Rams.

Real talk. I went back to school in the mid-2010s and it was tough to learn how to become a student again, but all was well. In November 2018, exactly a month before graduation and just a few days before having to take my degree assessment exam, on top of two 15-page papers being due for two respective classes, my mother had a stroke, which was one of the scariest moments of my life when she called me at 7pm and said, "I can't move." I asked, "What do you mean?" and she told me she could not move her legs or get out of bed.

I went over there, and because the door was locked, I had to break into my old childhood home to get to her. Promptly called for an ambulance. She was in the hospital for 18 days, missing Thanksgiving. I hosted the family Thanksgiving that year on top of the schoolwork, in between writing the papers and seeing my mom while she was in the hospital daily, and it took its toll on me.

Everybody thought I was doing great. Truth is, in the months prior to this, I had started using nicotine gum to help with my studying and paperwriting sessions on top of working to get my focus right and to fight fatigue. At first, it was OK. I used about 2mg once a week, but after my mother's stroke, it spiraled into several 8mg nicotine pouches a day, which I have never kicked and still cannot kick today. They are a crutch for anxiety now. Do not start them. They were a great nootropic, especially with caffeine, for studying way back when, but once I started chasing the dragon, it was over.

I know, that's a mild thing, but it's annoying to be beholden to anything in this life.

Anyway, a lot of crap went down as the years ensued. Mom never regained full feeling of one of her feet and has had to rely on a walker ever since. My aunt, her sister who is like a second mother to me, had a heart attack in 2019 and then a diverticulitis infection that went septic; in 2021 the same aunt was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer -- she has since beat the cancer, for now, but we nearly lost her a few months ago from pneumonia + a UTI that went septic. She has been on oxygen since.

The anxiety ramped up during the pandemic because I was deathly afraid of them getting COVID. They did, eventually, both of them at the same time in June 2022. My aunt's blood pressure dropped big time and fell in her home. THANK GOODNESS her grandson was over there (a walking distance away from here) and called me. We got an ambulance for her.

As for my mom, she is now in the early stages of dementia. She has more good days than bad days for now, but it does hurt to see that she is already a shell of who she used to be. My strong mother, who used to love to go outside and was into gardening, who loved to travel, who loved to read and laugh and cook dinners for the family... she does none of that. Well... a little bit of traveling but she can't handle much. She'll read but struggles to retain the information.

It hurts already and I dread the future, but as of right now I cherish every moment.

I'm a caregiver now. That's how I got back into gaming after the better part of a decade away. My wife is a saint for doing all that she does. She got me a Series X last year to deal with the stress, and it's helped.

I had general anxiety over random things before 2018, but usually, these days, I feel so much dread. Like an undercurrent of dread, like something awful is always on the horizon, after these past five years of seemingly everything going wrong.

I'm constantly second guessing myself on whether I'm doing enough, if I could be doing more. I know I'm just fighting the inevitable regarding my 72-year-old mother, but I have her take both Vitamin B complex and chelated magnesium glycinate for her mind in addition to her medicine, just in hopes she continues to enjoy her life, because she still has so much life right now. She loves Yellowstone and seeing the rabbits run around our yard. And ice cream from a local shop. And food. And George freakin' Clooney LMAO.

I have an addictive personality. My dad is my hero, but he was an alcoholic. He died from cirrhosis 20 years ago. He simply could not go a day without drinking, but he is forever my hero because he gave his all for the family and was always present in my life despite owning a business and working tirelessly. I digress. I only drink socially, which is only 6-8 times a year, because I don't want to ever fall into that trap.

Ahh.... rambling my life story on a forum that I joined nearly 20 years ago to talk about video games. Sorry. If you read this far, thank you. Just venting. I'm grateful for all the good things in life. Truly. But my biggest fight is that, "what's terrible that is going to happen next?" feeling. So ever-present.

Much love to all you guys fighting the good fight.

May I suggest you see if you can see a psychotherapist? This is what has helped me so much. It's weird to recommend a therapist to folks because it typically is done in sort of an insulting way "Get a therapist!!" but I mean it in a positive way because much of what you have on your plate, the addictions, the second guessing your choices, the regret maybe of something that has yet to happen...all of it, can be managed with techniques to give you peace of mind.

With peace of mind on your main issues, your family's health issues, COVID, the addiction of nicotine gum, will lessen and with that pressure going down so too will you find that other, every day frustrations at your job, with your significant other, etc will considerably go down in terms of anxiety.

Another thing I can recommend to you is something called The Power of Now. Look it up as an audio book or a regular book you read (people still read books??) as it is a Buddhist approach to simply trying to enjoy the moment.

And by that I mean, visit with your mom and truly just enjoy being with her having a simple lunch. Not worrying about the past, did you do the right thing that one time, did you react correctly, etc, etc and not focusing either on the future as in her health is getting worse, when will she not recognize me, etc etc.

The ability to live in the present moment, even during a bad time, and enjoy life's simple pleasures of now, you will find an amazing release from the stress of second guessing your past (this was a MAJOR issue with me) and dreading a future in which people get sick, die or just, in general terrible things COULD happen. Living in the now frees you from this burden of the past and the future.

You will, hopefully, find that your addictions, even without specifically addressing them, whether its your gum, video games, exercise or whatever you may lean on to help with your mental health, will lessen on their own. And then when you find specific techniques to deal with, and conquer your addiction that is your go-to (in this case the nicotine is probably your primary) then it will not be quite as difficult when your mental health is better.

Humans have always managed by trying to learn from our mistakes in the past, so that we can make better the future. That leads us to the illusion of control in our lives that we do not have. We cannot change the past and many times when we find that we are dwelling on it, that is why we are doing so, we want to change what we did, or maybe didn't do. And we cannot predict the future either, and so we tend to focus on all the horrible things that could happen and the reason is, we think we can change those things.

Yes, sometimes we can change those things, but often we cannot. Like for dementia we can only do so much but we cannot climb a mountain or run a race and defeat it. It stresses us out incredibly that we are not able to do that and so we have a large burden of anxiety.

To accept that you cannot change some things, such as your mother's health, will lead you to feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety because, whether you realize it or not, you believe in your mind that if only you did x, y and z for her that you could lessen her burden and solve her problems.

Accepting that you cannot, is something most folks don't want to do because it may be interpreted by others as you not caring. I've experienced this myself when something happens, or is happening and my wife will ask me what I think and I say that I find it unfortunate but we cannot change this. Now she doesn't say it but I think it "oh my she thinks I do not care"

This is an internal voice of guilt, that you feel guilty because you cannot change what is not changeable. It is unfortunate but this is the root of most of our anxiety, at least I believe. Learning to accept what you cannot change and just trying to live to the best of your ability may seem like, to you, that others may interpret your lack of worry or anxiety as not caring. It is not, it is caring for yourself and those around you by being the best that you can be considering the circumstances.

If you can learn to do this, not wonder about the past, not second guess yourself, and not dwell on a future filled with the worst things you can think of, you can enjoy life with your mom now much more and then, down the road, in the future, you can look back and say, man we really did a lot of wonderful things and had a lot of fun together and you will not have regrets!

This is my advice, I don't know about your religion or views on God or anything like that, so don't take my advice about exploring Buddism as a way to explore yet another religion or whatnot, because it is as much a philosophy as anything else. In fact, that's what appeals to me is that it is free from any type of religious thought and instead chooses to focus on appreciating life and the miracle of living right now in the moment.

I admire your strength for pulling through as you have, for a lot that has happened in a short time. This is why I have spent the time to type this freakin' mini novel in an attempt to help you in any way that I can, having learned from my serious mental health issues, I know there is a way out of the terrible, terrible burden of mental health crusing anxiety and addiction and how those things can affect your life. It doesn't have to be that way!

[bdbjdfsbjds]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

For me, deep breathing and mindfulness exercises always did wonders. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I'd pause, take deep breaths, and really focus on the present moment. It might sound simple, but it does require practice to master.

I got that tip from a therapist who helped me to overcome my anxiety problems. I went for individual counseling in NYC, where my therapist introduced me to various exercises, like guided visualization, where I'd imagine being in a calm place, and grounding exercises that required focusing on my senses. We'd also dissect some triggering moments and find healthier ways to react.

[ODogg]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I am discussing my third ketamine treatment here on my stream from last night, thought I would share, it's been a very helpful treatment for me so far for treatment resistant anxiety & depression

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[ODogg]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I figured I'd check in and mention some of the things that I am doing now.

1. Medical marijuana - I smoke this now but am weaning myself off of it and going to pills and edibles. I don't want to continue to smoke, but using this helps my mind to stop from racing and bouncing from topic to topic so rapidly, ie it helps me to focus. I use lowdose, not much, just enough to settle my mind.

2. E-Ketamine (Spravato) is still every 2 weeks and I'm looking to change it to once every 3 or 4 weeks, mostly because I enjoy it and I do think it helps, but it's quite a chore to go downtown to Columbus and spend two hours on site while my wife has to wait and/or find something to do (she's been doing spa treatments, LOL)

3. Psychotherapy and anti-Depressants (Effexor) - I do the Effexor once a day, medium sized dose and I do talk psychotherapy once a month with a doctor who has helped me greatly. Without the Effexor, if I stop taking it, within about 3 days I become obsessively focused on all my failings, and a horrid voice in my head encourages me to just disappear, which I guess is different from encouraging suicide, but emanates from the same place.

When I go through these moments I used to try to go the opposite way and encourage myself, but lately I've been finding that what works better is just leaning into it and wording things clearly at myself, designed to insult and provoke me and at some point it seems to become ridiculous and breaks the "hold" it seems to have on me, but only momentarily, until I can go back on Effexor.

Because of these episodes I do not think I will ever be able to get off anti-depressants, unless something changes dramatically in the world of meds.

4. I have found that indulging in certain things that may seem out of place, such as a morning ice cream cone, or say, eggs for dinner, seems to stimulate my mind into feeling relief from the tediousness of daily life. As a creative person I think I abhor routine, but unfortunately I also am a logical person who has to have routine.

So having recognized this I know mostly adhere to my routines, but like I said, instead of eating breakfast of toast and eggs at 9am, maybe one day I go get a chocolate milkshake or taco bell for breakfast. Just something to maintain routine, but be a bit off the beaten path on what I normally do.

5. Continued downplay (not elimination!) of social media and my phone use. I have learned how to minimize my social media use. I no longer post anything on my wall, nor do I tag anyone. I only post in my videogame channel and a couple of other game channels. I don't reply to much anything controversial. I use X sometimes and vent a little there but trying to downplay, and mostly cease, that as well.

As for my phone, I resent being tied to it, and now, after taking daily breaks from it where I don't check it for an hour, or more, I am finding out that the biggest shock is I don't feel as constrainted, or trapped, by my phone. Ditto for social media. I don't check it all the time for a response I may, or may not, really dread to read, and when I do check it I am not worried about some of the ugly replies to my posts since most all that I post is positive or simple news links about games or positive, non-controversial news links.

6. I continue to use philosophy as an exercise for my brain to partake in. My brain is active and like an active dog needs to get out there and run and thinking about the nature of the universe, life and death, all those big topics, without anger, emotion, just philosophical thinking, and reading from others on it, has lent me a great deal of brain freedom and combined with not using social media and my phone as much, feels great for my mental health.

7. Whenever I get anxious I do look forward to something I am really looking forward to doing, right now it is playing EA College Football, and so I think about it a good bit. I think we all need to have something to look forward to, even if it's not something that is that important to others or seen by "society" as important. It's what you yourself find important and the world doesn't matter.

All in all everything is going pretty good for me, much better, about 1,000 times better than even a couple of years ago.

Oh yeah I also started playing that game KIND WORDs on Steam where you write emails to random folks and then have random folks write you back. It's really cool and a very positive way to get you into the right frame of mind. Highly recommend this little game ($5) for those of us who want a little ray of sunshine in our digital lives.

[Dead2009]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I know it doesn't always work for some, but gaming. Horror movies usually help me relax as well.

[ODogg]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I know it doesn't always work for some, but gaming. Horror movies usually help me relax as well.

Ditto for both for me as well. I also enjoy a lot of true crime shows on Investigation Discovery as well.

[l3ulvl]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

1. Medical marijuana - I smoke this now but am weaning myself off of it and going to pills and edibles. I don't want to continue to smoke, but using this helps my mind to stop from racing and bouncing from topic to topic so rapidly, ie it helps me to focus. I use lowdose, not much, just enough to settle my mind.

I'm actually thinking of getting back into cannabis, it's legal here and there are dispensaries nearby. My problem is it's really difficult going to places I've never been before, it's weird as a grown man to admit that, but that's just what it is, I don't know the process, it's just weird


But anyway, I've never been a person who likes to get high, but if I take a puff or two, my anger problems go away. Back when I was younger I called it my "herbal anger management", and with how angry I get with things (and also dealing with sleep issues, another thing it helped with), I might try and jump back in, the closest spot even has curb side pickup


ultimately, I probly won't, anxiety/fear is too in control, but the idea of drinking less and having fewer sleep/anger problems is enticing

[ODogg]

Re: How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

I'm actually thinking of getting back into cannabis, it's legal here and there are dispensaries nearby. My problem is it's really difficult going to places I've never been before, it's weird as a grown man to admit that, but that's just what it is, I don't know the process, it's just weird


But anyway, I've never been a person who likes to get high, but if I take a puff or two, my anger problems go away. Back when I was younger I called it my "herbal anger management", and with how angry I get with things (and also dealing with sleep issues, another thing it helped with), I might try and jump back in, the closest spot even has curb side pickup


ultimately, I probly won't, anxiety/fear is too in control, but the idea of drinking less and having fewer sleep/anger problems is enticing

I hear you but I'd make a real effort to try it again on your own terms and see if it helps you. It certainly has helped me. I rarely get "high" but sometimes I do on the weekends. The vast majority of the time though I do low dose and just use it to contain my incredible anxiety and negative self talk. It does really help man.