Child Custody Question

[SeaTownGamer]

I know I will get an answer like go talk to a lawyer and I understand but I just want to ask a question to my OS fams before I do...

First off I am a father with custody of a 14 year old teenager son. I been raising him all his life...I live on the west coast (Seattle) and his mother lives in the east coast...Everything has its ups and downs raising a teenager but for the most part it’s been good. I’ve never stopped him from communicating with his mother and don’t say anything bad about her. She visits every other year or two. I try to keep a cool relationship with her.

Around last year I received a phone call from his mother that she has stage 3 colon cancer. And a few days ago my baby’s mother called me and said she has 6 months to live and her sister and her has been pressing me to send my child over there to be with her during her last days. It sucks and I feel really bad but I’m afraid by sending him over I will lose custody and me and her sister (his aunt) don’t have the best relationship and I worry she would try to pull a sneaky move on me. Will sending my kid away jeopardize me still being the custodian parent?

Edit: I posted this in the wrong forum can mods move this to the proper section. My apologies.


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[RobotRosKO]

If no custody agreement, don't do it. These courts are for the woman. You pay just enough to keep them from getting free housing but still less so they get food stamps. And leave you enough to enjoy hardly anything. If she never saved up enough gas money all these years, thats on her.

[baconbits11]

So if there's no proof of this cancer, it could be a lie. I would go with your son to visit his mother and spend some time there if you can to check this all out. They could be trying to pull a fast one on you, but as the last poster said, the court is for the woman. you should see a lawyer and get some formal written legal custody arrangement in any event.

[SeaTownGamer]

Quote: Originally Posted by baconbits11

So if there's no proof of this cancer, it could be a lie. I would go with your son to visit his mother and spend some time there if you can to check this all out. They could be trying to pull a fast one on you, but as the last poster said, the court is for the woman. you should see a lawyer and get some formal written legal custody arrangement in any event.

She’s been posting about this cancer all over social media so I don’t think she’s lying. And how much do these lawyers cost? One thing I don’t want is to lose physical custody of my child


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[baconbits11]

Quote: Originally Posted by SeaTownGamer

She’s been posting about this cancer all over social media so I don’t think she’s lying. And how much do these lawyers cost? One thing I don’t want is to lose physical custody of my child Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Remember, just because it's on "social media" doesn't mean it's true. Most lawyers I've heard of give a free consultation. I would check into that. The point to remember is that the only real custody is legal custody. If you don't have a court award you custody, there is always a risk you will lose your child. Also, court is stacked in woman's favor so that is why you need a lawyer who fights for dads. Some law firms specialize in that.

Whatever you do, don't just send your son to her by himself!

[bigbob]

I have to ask this stupid question because parents tell me all the time that "I have full custody of my child." Do you have custody through the courts, or do you think you have custody because you have always had him? (If I missed that in your post, I am sorry.)

If you have custody through the courts, what are the terms of the custody agreement? What does visitation look like on the custody agreement?

If there is no custody agreement through the courts, if you send him, she has the right to not let him return to you. If there is no court custody agreement, the parent who has him makes the decisions for them.

There are a lot of factors that need to be taken accounted for. If you can give me more details, I can help you with a better answer.

[NDAlum]

My man if you don’t have something from the courts then I wouldn’t do it. You risk her taking control of the kid and not giving back. Then you have to go through the courts. Even then if she refuses it has to go through the courts again to take enforcement action.

[NDAlum]

Quote: Originally Posted by bigbob

I have to ask this stupid question because parents tell me all the time that "I have full custody of my child." Do you have custody through the courts, or do you think you have custody because you have always had him? (If I missed that in your post, I am sorry.) If you have custody through the courts, what are the terms of the custody agreement? What does visitation look like on the custody agreement? If there is no custody agreement through the courts, if you send him, she has the right to not let him return to you. If there is no court custody agreement, the parent who has him makes the decisions for them. There are a lot of factors that need to be taken accounted for. If you can give me more details, I can help you with a better answer.

And even if there is a custody agreement you likely have to go through the courts again to hit her with a violation.