I think this is the ultimate crux of any sports game.
Control.
The moment you start controlling a player is the moment his ratings start to go wonky. If you run the remainder of the route what is the point of a route running rating? Same goes for catch ratings with 'user' catching or diving, etc.
I see and appreciate where you are coming from; but I also wonder of you react like I do when I try to user-pick in this game and the ball is right there for my DB and he doesn't catch it.
"WTF?! Dude, CATCH the BALL!!!!"
I might give Coach Mode a try just to see if it makes the games a little less of a scream-fest.