I'm Demoting Myself: An EHM Scouting Career

[KA88NE]

June 5th, 2040

After a career with two different organizations spanning from 2014 to 2040, I've hung up my general manager boots. No, there aren't actually boots a general manager wears. Actually, most general managers wear nice suits and ties. But I am Charlie Edward and as a moonlight general manager, my attire could have been underwear and socks for all anyone cared.

And those who would have cared would have been surprised to know I won several Stanley Cups as the general manager of the Buffalo Sabres wearing nothing more than gym shorts and various tank tops. The 2030's were good to me.

My career started with the Edmonton Oilers in 2014. With no prior experience, they just gave me the job. All I had to do was walk into the office and ask. I do have to give myself some credit though, that was a pretty proactive thing to do. I woke up one morning, decided I wanted to be a general manager, and made it happen. I guess it's true what they say: some people dream while others make things happen.

The Oilers job looked fun: take over a team that should be winning, but for some reason isn't. It was really easy to diagnose the problem: the team was comprised of a bunch of rookies learning from other similar rookies. Not to mention, the forwards lacked the puck moving defensemen needed to actually do what they were good at: which was use the puck and do pretty things. They couldn't do those pretty things without the puck actually in their possession. And the goaltending situation? Oh boy.

Needless to say, I fixed all of those problems. Every. Last. One. And with Alain Vigneault as my head coach, we won three Stanley Cups. 2016, 2019, and 2020. Never missed the playoffs. Until the year I wanted to rebuild the team and they fired me.

It seemed the whole city was really upset about trades involving Taylor Hall, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, and Jordan Eberle. The players that brought glory back to that decrepit town. So f###ing cold.

I say I was fired, but I wasn't. It's just I knew I was going to be. The city was in rage, I was getting funny looks down every hallway I walked. It was very clear, my shelf life had expired. So I resigned. Sorry for lying.

That was on August 13th, 2025. After that, I waited patiently, lurking in the shadows for a good opportunity. Not just the first one that came my way. It took until a year later. July 13th, 2026. Stan Bowman, the former general manager of the Chicago Blackhawks, now general manager of the Buffalo Sabres, had been fired for the second time. His career really went downhill after Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews' insane cap hits kicked in during his time in Chicago.

But back to the story of a much more successful general manager! Unlike my first job with Edmonton, Buffalo actually made me type up a job application and interview. All I could say was: wow, a real organization, finally.

They made the right choice. I drafted the greatest goalie in the history of the NHL, Oscar Gustaffson (7-time Stanley Cup Champion, 5th all-time in wins with 589, first in shutouts with 127, a career goals against average of 1.74).

Buffalo Sabres: Stanley Cup Champions | 2032, 2034, 2036, 2037, 2038, 2039, 2040

Every player I drafted turned to gold. We rarely signed a free agent, as the majority of every team was comprised of as many as sixteen homegrown, Charlie-drafted players. Proof that a suit isn't required to figure out which hockey players are the best.

There are a handful of 7-time Stanley Cup Champions on the team not named Oscar Gustaffson, too. Including star wingers, Yvon Mantha and Jeff Rohlfs. As well as forwards, Deron Lawrence and Scott Moore. And defenseman, Jeff Rankin.

In other words, I've accomplished everything I wanted to in the game, far too soon. Even with the house rules I've had in place. I never coached any of the teams. I was strictly the general manager. The game simply was not fun anymore. Which is why today, Tuesday, June 5th, 2040, I've decided to resign as general manager of the Buffalo Sabres.

"It's not you, it's me," is what I told the media at my Good Bye Charlie press conference. Sad saps in Buffalo really wanted me to stick around so they could keep winning. It's so easy to win when a human manager is at the helm of your team, isn't it? That's the thing about the 2030s. Robots. Everywhere. I swear, most of these teams are run by robots. I guess George Orwell was right.

So what now? I'm not leaving the game of hockey. No way. I've signed on as a freelance consultant. In other words, I'm not actually with a team. I'll essentially be a scout writing my thoughts on every draft class, predicting player career paths, and telling the story of the league as it unfolds year by year.

And the story should get a lot more interesting with me watching from afar.

[KA88NE]

Stanley Cup Champions
by year since game start date

2014-2015: St. Louis Blues def. New York Rangers
2015-2016: Edmonton Oilers def. Tampa Bay Lightning
2016-2017: Nashville Predators def. Buffalo Sabres
2017-2018: Pittsburgh Penguins def. Chicago Blackhawks
2018-2019: Edmonton Oilers def. Montreal Canadiens
2019-2020: Edmonton Oilers def. Boston Bruins
2021-2022: Pittsburgh Penguins def. Vancouver Canucks
2022-2023: Calgary Flames def. New York Rangers
2023-2024: Tampa Bay Lightning def. Dallas Stars
2024-2025: Ottawa Senators def. Anaheim Ducks
2025-2026: Colorado Avalanche def. Detroit Red Wings
2026-2027: Edmonton Oilers def. Montreal Canadiens
2027-2028: Minnesota Wild def. Carolina Hurricanes
2028-2029: Vancouver Canucks def. Detroit Red Wings
2029-2030: Anaheim Ducks def. Detroit Red Wings
2030-2031: Nashville Predators def. Philadelphia Flyers
2031-2032: Buffalo Sabres def. Chicago Blackhawks
2032-2033: Chicago Blackhawks def. Buffalo Sabres
2033-2034: Buffalo Sabres def. Calgary Flames
2034-2035: St. Louis Blues def. New Jersey Devils
2035-2036: Buffalo Sabres def. Calgary Flames
2036-2037: Buffalo Sabres def. Edmonton Oilers
2037-2038: Buffalo Sabres def. Colorado Avalanche
2038-2039: Buffalo Sabres def. Calgary Flames
2039-2040: Buffalo Sabres def. Vancouver Canucks

Career Goal Leaders
1) Wayne Gretzky - 894
2) Steve Stamkos - 841
3) Gordie Howe - 801
4) Taylor Hall - 792
5) Sidney Crosby - 778
6) Patrick Kane - 753
7) Alexander Ovechkin - 748
8) Marcel Dionne - 731
9) Jaromir Jagr - 723
10) Connor McDavid - 721

Career Assists Leaders
1) Wayne Gretzky - 1963
2) Sidney Crosby - 1260
3) Raymond Bourque - 1169
4) Paul Coffey - 1135
5) Connor McDavid - 1130
6) Jaromir Jagr - 1073
7) Steve Yzerman - 1063
8) Gordie Howe - 1049
9) Marcel Dionne - 1040
10) Mario Lemieux - 1033

Career Point Leaders
1) Wayne Gretzky - 2857
2) Sidney Crosby - 2038
3) Connor McDavid - 1851
4) Gordie Howe - 1850
5) Jaromir Jagr - 1796
6) Marcel Dionne - 1771
7) Taylor Hall - 1758
8) Steve Yzerman - 1755
9) Steve Stamkos - 1746
10) Patrick Kane - 1733

Career Win Leaders
1) Carey Price - 723
2) Jonathan Quick - 640
3) Ronnie David - 622
4) John Gibson - 605
5) Oskar Gustafsson - 589
6) Matej Tomek - 581
7) Patrick Roy - 551
8) Sergei Bobrovsky - 550
9) Semyon Varlamov - 546
10) Tuukka Rask - 522

Career Shutout Leaders
1) Oskar Gustafsson - 127
2) Terry Sawchuk - 103
3) George Hainsworth - 94
4) Carey Price - 85
5) Glenn Hall - 84
6) Jacques Plante - 82
7) Tiny Thompson - 81
8) Alec Connell - 81
9) Tony Esposito - 76
10) Lorne Chabot - 72

[KA88NE]

June 20th, 2040

It's that time of year again. I've gotta say: what a relief to not have to be a part of it. Don't get me wrong, I love draft day, which is a few days away. It's the draft year I hate. Watching over fifteen scouts for 365 days and deciding which ones are best to send to really important things is an arduous process.

The other teams had it easier. They had computers set up the scouting staff schedules. I preferred to do it on my own. How else do you think our prospect pipeline got as deep as it did?

48 hours. That's how long the fun part of the draft lasts.

I was the most annoying; wheeling and dealing even when it wasn't necessary or if I didn't want to. My logic? Maybe Pittsburgh was more willing to trade its 17th pick for my 23rd pick and a prospect than Philadelphia would have been for the same package at 16. You never know which GM will stay smart and which will be a complete moron, so might as well make sure you're trying to take advantage of all of them at all times.

Let us not forget the trade that allowed the Buffalo dynasty to continue long after franchise centers, Jack Eichel and Sam Reinhart exited their primes.

The story of my career. #4, Taylor Hall truly was the straw that stirred the drink, everywhere I went. Even after his playing career had ended. Hall was the leader of the Oilers teams I managed, and the spark plug to the first of many Stanley Cups in Buffalo. I can only describe the man with one word: an absolute winner. I know what you're thinking: that's four words. Well, just let me be, okay?

Flashback: I take you back to Draft Day 2032. The number one prospect on our draft board was the seventh ranked player in the draft: Shael Fleury. A mid-sized center with an all-around game comparable to Jonathan Toews, but perhaps not as a physically strong.

Our scouts all agreed that Shael had captaincy material written all over him. But picking at the 30th spot, we knew we had no shot unless we could somehow squeak into the Top 10.

Thankfully, we had the ammo necessary to make it happen. But it was a risk. A risk not too different from the risk I took trading a 33 year-old Taylor Hall a year before my abrupt exit from Edmonton.

2025. I traded Hall a year before (not coincidentally) I believed his value was to decline in order to nab the eighth pick in the draft from Minnesota, making him a member of the Wild.

That pick turned into Wil MacDonald, who is now 33 years old. A graceful, quaint franchise center with the foot work of a ballet dancer and is still the face of the franchise.

He led the team to a Stanley Cup in 2027, a year after my departure from that garbage city that couldn't smell general managerial talent even if it was right on its nose. And you could definitely smell me. I mean, I was smelling material. I'm at least an 8/10 on the general manager scale, and I can't believe they didn't recognize that.

Forward to 2032, and the situation had risen again. I'd signed Hall as a bargain free-agent to help propel our team past the Eastern Conference Finals. Between 2028 and 2031, our hearts were broken almost as many times as the Buffalo Bills of the 1990's.

Oscar Gustafsson struggled between the pipes come every playoff season, and many didn't know whether to blame it on me or him. They called him The Greatest Regular Season Goalie That Ever Lived.

Often times, I'd wonder if I should trade him for a slightly less talented goalie with better poise. Maybe Winnipeg's Ronnie David. Sure, he's four years older and not as awe-inspiring in terms of talent, but he seems to be himself no matter the circumstances.

So often did I ponder such thoughts, in fact, that I actually did make a phone call to Winnipeg GM, Derek Armstrong on several occasions in an attempt to pull the deal off. Unfortunately, he wasn't interested. And I can't blame him. Look at the all-time wins leaderboard. David is third all-time with 622 and is still 37. Otherwise, there was no goalie worth making the deal for.

It was clear we had an all-time great on our hands. And yet, somehow, that was a problem. Oscar was the reason we were so dominant, but he was also the reason we couldn't win the Stanley Cup. This had Shakespeare written all over it.

Gustafsson was a player who, as you may or may not have figured out, I decided to keep. But once again, I traded Taylor Hall. If he was the story of my career, this trade was the best chapter of the book.

You might think he hated me for my ruthless behavior, but he didn't. Taylor and I were friends like you wouldn't believe, despite what those PSYCHOS in Edmonton would tell you.

Here are the psychos:

His hands held no guns in relation to the decision I chose to make as the head of the Oilers, and when I approached him about trading him once more after his lone year with us in western New York, he still remained without qualms.

It was the most evil thing I'd done in my career.

"Taylor, you're retiring after this season, correct?"

"Yes."

"But you signed a two year deal..."

"Yes."

"So how about we use you as trade bait, just so we can get over the hump necessary to grab this fifth overall pick from Toronto? You can just announce your retirement after the trade is accepted."

"Yes."

"Alright, great!"

And so the deed was done. I traded our 30th pick, our top prospect Johnathan Crochetiere, prospect Gerard Peters, a still robust Cam Fowler, and Taylor Hall to Toronto for the fifth overall pick. The suckers actually accepted. By the way, they haven't won a Stanley Cup for 73 years now.

Every team above Toronto refused the same package, even going as far as to call it, "seriously unbalanced."

Hall announced his retirement three days later. We figured we'd use the Three Day Rule for this one, just to avoid any suspicion.

At least Toronto can be happy that Crochetiere turned into a pretty good player. The forward currently has 231 points in 459 career games. But we still won the deal. Because the fifth overall pick turned into Fleury. Who captained our team to six more Stanley Cups.

Ah, draft day. That's the reason I love it. Rarely do you have the assets necessary to make such an absurd trade, such a risky trade. But the thrill of the risk is undeniable. It cost me one job, but it also rewarded me with success unseen before my final decade in the league.

That's why today, I'm going to pick out which players from the upcoming 2040 NHL Entry Draft are going to shine and which are going to bust. As the years pass through on this blog of sorts, we'll see which I'm right about and which I'm wrong about.

For the first time in many years, a once-in-a-generation talent may be available. And you'll know who it is in my next post.

[KA88NE]

June 23rd, 2040

It's draft night and I'm here in Philadelphia, pretending to converse with the other CPU general managers.

My favorite part of it all has been conversing with Lou Lamoriello's kid. He's been Tampa Bay's general manager for 1787 days. Don't ask me how I know that.

I've tried to convince Chris to trade up in the draft, but he won't listen to me. He says my methods are, "unrealistic, and would probably never work in real life."

"Real life?" I scolded him, "this is real life, are you insane?"

Naturally, Chris is just jealous of all I've been able to accomplish.

He looked at me with vivacious curiosity and asked ever so eloquently, "So, Charlie, do you think i'm pretty?"

"Well, Chris," I responded with a toothy smile, "I think the top ranked player is legit for the first time in almost thirteen years."

"So I'm not pretty?"

"Corson Partch was the last number one ranked player to actually be a clear cut number one ranked player in a draft, and that was all the way back in 2027, Chris."

"I was so young then."

"And pretty."

"Charming, too," Lou Lamoriello's Son added.

I ignored his comment, "So, any plans to try to trade up for said number one ranked player?"

"With a name like Cristiano, how could I not at least try?"

"Like that old school soccer playing man, Cristiano Ronaldo," I recalled, "he was good at playing the game of soccer."

"And he was pretty, like me."

"Chris, that joke wasn't funny to begin with and now it's getting old."

"It wasn't a joke."

"You know, your dad was a lot funnier."

"So tell me, Mr. 10-Time Stanley Cup Champion, who are your guys in this year's draft?"

"Well, Chris, since I do adore the Lamoriello family, I'll tell you."

Cristiano Langford | Center | 6'1 | 171 lbs | Sault Ste. Marie | OHL
I may actually be completely wrong about Cristiano, because there have been a lot of rumblings from several scouts around the league concerning his consistency. Otherwise, there's too much to like about him. He has NHL-ready skills, an NHL-ready brain, is probably going to wear a "C" eventually, and has the clutch factor that I made a pre-requisite in all my draft picks with Buffalo.

"But you said he was the most clear-cut top pick since 2027."

"I've been out of the loop for almost two weeks, Chris. I've only just spoken to my old scouting staff."

"Oh. Okay, I understand. Who else is on your brain? Let's see how your thinking compares to our draft board."

"You know, at this rate, you could hire me as a senior adviser, and I could actually get paid for standing around here handing you my knowledge."

"I'd offer, but you know I'm probably going to retire in a couple years."

"Really? Is that your excuse?"

"I mean, if that's what you really want-"

"Chris," I paused, "I was kidding."

Chris Young | Center | 6'4 | 198 lbs | Saskatoon | WHL
I'm not completely sold on Chris Young. He uses his 6'4, 198 pound frame effectively, but not close to dominantly. I like his ability to spark a play because he'll win the majority of his faceoffs and then crisply move the puck out of the zone. He could certainly help in terms of facilitating the progression of an offensive play; of giving one the opportunity to begin. But defensively, I'm not completely sold. There will need to be significant jumps in his ability to hunt down the puck and separate his opponents from it within the confines of free-flowing play, rather than where he prefers it, right from the puck drop. His ability to park himself in front of the net will come in handy, and there's no question it will make him an impact player at the NHL level. But is he third ranked player material? Possibly, but he's likely to top off as a second or third line center. Not franchise material.

By the time I finished speaking, Lou's Kid looked dumb founded.

"Why did you talk so much more about Chris Young than you did about Cristiano Langford?"

"I'm not sure, but here's my next thought."

Keenan Thinel | Defenseman | 6'3 | 154 lbs | Saskatoon | WHL
The fifth ranked player in the draft is also a member of the Saskatoon Blades. It's possible Keenan Thinel and Chris Young's draft stocks both benefited from playing the majority of their junior hockey minutes together. Thinel's passing ability is not off the charts, but it will likely fall off the page by the end of his development. In terms of actually playing defense, I'm just not into this kid. He's lanky, and will need some time to develop his body, too. I think his flashy stickhandling combined with his ability to move the puck at will coupled with sending said puck to one of the top ranked prospects in the world in Chris Young helped propel Thinel to where he is now. Do I think he's worth a Top 10 pick? Sure. But my expectation for him is to be a solid #3 defenseman. Maybe even a #2 somewhere, depending on the roster depth.

I watched as Chris scribbled out some notes on his draft board and sloppily wrote in several changes.

"Keep the thoughts coming," Lou Lamoriello's Off-Spring demanded in a rather bossy voice.

"Listen, Lou Lamoriello's Son-"

"You know I hate when you call me that."

"I have other people I want to catch up with!"

"At least finish the scouting service top ten!"

"Fine."

Anders Stella | Left Wing | 5'8 | 169 lbs | Medicine Hat | WHL
This is a one-dimensional player, period. This 5'8, 169 pound winger is a poor man's Yvon Mantha - my skilled, 7-Time winning Stanley Cup winner in Buffalo. He is a fine offensive player in every way, but he only hovers near good and is a distance off from great. With that being said, he's 18 and with the right team, could develop into a great offensive weapon. In fact, he absolutely should. Because, with the exception of a mistake every now and then, he knows the game as it pertains to the opposing end of the ice. He may struggle to reach his full potential because a lot of my scouts say he views the world in a mildly pessimistic way, and therefore isn't as determined to reach his full potential as the team drafting him would hope. His skating also needs some serious work. There are question marks, but Anders could very well become a great player.

"That's it? Those are the only players you like in the Top 10?"

"Yes, Chris. Now, about that senior adviser position. Can we take the term 'senior' off the title and make it Mostly Young But Pretty Experienced Adviser to the General Manager instead?"

"Face it, Edward. You're getting old, just like the rest of us."

And then I bid Chris adieu, because off in the distance was a player I watched as a child sitting at the Philadelphia Flyers draft table. Only he was no longer a player, but instead, the team's general manager. And to think, he once played for the Pittsburgh Penguins.

With the confidence only a man who had won ten Stanley Cups could have, I walked over to the table receiving the most media coverage with a smile on my face.

[DrGravyBoat]

These write ups are great and so is the idea. Definitely gonna be following.

[KA88NE]

Thanks, man. Glad someone likes it! I'm aware this emoticon makes no sense for this situation.

[KA88NE]

June 23rd, 2040
continued

"I do not need advice," Flyers general manager, Martin Straka greeted me.

"Well, too bad. Cause I have some for you."

Patrik Kolarik | Center | 6'5 | 194 lbs | Nitra | Slovakian Tipsport Extraliga
With a little more hockey sense in his brain, just the slightest bit, I might have rated the 16th ranked player in the draft my favorite center available. Instead, I consider him to hold the best value of any first round player. Kolarik is a hard working center that is balanced in every way, on and off the ice. The most well-rounded technical skill-set of any player in the draft; there is nothing he does poorly. However, there is nothing he does incredibly outside of winning faceoffs. But you have to be impressed with what he was able to do against men significantly older than him in Slovakia. 12 goals and 17 assists for 29 points in 44 games as an 18 year old. There is no question, Kolarik will make an impact at the NHL level within a year or two.

Straka didn't have much to say in response. I don't know why he hates me. I'm so likable and really good at my job and most girls would say I'm probably a seven out of ten, eight on a good day. Whatever.

I left his table pretty quickly with some of my ego still in tact. Instead, I went to where I was comfortable. Naturally, that's the Buffalo Sabres draft table. Where I'm welcomed with open arms, always.

Although they might be harboring some negative feelings toward me for not waiting till after the draft to retire. But I mean, come on. Doing absolutely nothing but trolling the NHL Draft and sleeping was my calling. Surely, they understand.

It seemed they were especially interested in drafting a possible replacement for Oscar Gustafsson. And if there was any year to do it, this was it. I haven't seen this many talented goalies in one draft since - oh, actually, you know what - never!

I'm not going to try and actually break down goalies for you because I simply can't. They are an inexact science and, in my opinion, come completely down to an educated guess. There are so many factors to look at.

What players did the goaltender have in front of him? Which style did his team play? How much time did his team spend in its own end, or rather, the other team's end? Did his league include a bevy of offensive talent, or was it a defensive league? What did he play like in important games?

Or the most important question: how consistent was he?

Of course, that question applies almost as much to a skater. But I find it significantly more important for the goaltender, as his brain is the lone brain being relied upon most nights between the pipes.

Shael Fleury, my star captain, did have consistency issues, but they were rarely catastrophic because he had nineteen other players on the roster that could have picked up his slack on any night. Shael was good three out of every four nights. On the fourth night, a random, say Deron Lawrence might have helped fill the temporary gap.

With goaltenders, that option is not there. If he's having an off night, you're likely to lose the game. So it's of extreme importance to find one you can rely on to provide the same performance night after night. But it's so difficult to find, because who has the scouting resources to watch a single goaltender for up to twenty or thirty straight games?

In our system, we ranked consistency and mental traits over technical skill. The backup I provided Oscar, Per-Erik Friberg, will be a more-than-capable performer should he ever take over for our star goalie.

But the Sabres, the stupid sons-a-****es they are, apparently don't entirely see it that way. My head coach through it all, Anton Stralman, a former defenseman in the league, thinks we need another option.

Just in case.

Either that, or his thought process is heavily influenced by the influx of goaltenders available. Someone is going to get theirs in this year's draft. From Gabe Baldin, the Erie Otters star, ranked 18th to Dustin Byguflien's son, Evan Byfuglien, ranked 23rd, there are more than enough NHL-caliber goaltenders out there, just waiting to be drafted.

My personal favorite is the 127th ranked goalie. As your stereotypical suburban midwest dad might say, he has a real "doozie" of a name. Bear with me as I say it: Svatopluk Martinka.

I can hear all the play-by-play men now.

Martinka "PLUKS" it out of the air!

Martinka was a backup in the Czech Tipsport Extraliga this past season, and he was really good at it. Really good. I might go as far as to say that, to the naked eye, he has the most impressive technical skills of any goalie in the entire draft, and even the highest ceiling. Were he a year younger, and had he played a league down with more minutes between the pipes, he'd likely be the top ranked goalie in the draft. But at 19 years old and considering his back-up status, his ranking makes sense. Still, I find his value sky high.

I said that last paragraph out loud, hoping the Anton would hear me.

[KA88NE]

June 24th, 2040

The first draft of the decade has concluded. Fortunately for all general managers involved, it was the first draft that didn't involve me in several decades. So everyone came out with their sanity somewhat in tact.

Preston Lee, the second ranked player, was drafted first overall by the Florida Panthers. All I can say is: wow, Chadd Cassidy. Preston Lee? That's your first overall pick? I scoff at your lame pick. You blew it. Maybe this is why the Florida Panthers have yet to win a Stanley Cup.

Darryl Young, the general manager responsible for keeping Taylor Hall interested in sticking around with the Minnesota Wild after I traded him there, made a much better selection at number two with Chris Young.

The sad thing for Chris Young is that no matter how well his career goes, no one will remember him for too long afterward because he has the most common first and last name combination of any player in his draft class. That's some advanced scouting for you there.

Young's teammate in Saskatoon, defenseman, Keenan Thinel, didn't get drafted until the ninth spot. Joe Napoli was glad to take him, because between Thomas Holmgren, Fabian Lemay, Clement Lindgren, and Layton O'Neil, the Los Angeles defense-corps is sorely lacking a defenseman that can also play offense. It's a one-dimensional roster on the back-end of the ice, and that's why the Kings have struggled to maintain any sort of consistent competitiveness throughout the past handful of years. They made the playoffs in 2039, but missed the eighth seed by just four points in 2040.

Let's stick to all the guys I said should get picked, because the players I'm interested in are the players who's careers we will be following. This is my show and I run it. Do I sound power hungry?

Mark Craig and the Chicago Blackhawks decided to draft Cristiano Langford, who fell all the way to number three. You know who else fell to a Chicago team at number three? Michael Jordan. How did that turn out?

Clearly, Cristiano Langford will be a far cry from Jordan's value to the NBA's Chicago Bulls, but I'm just making a point here: Langford was my favorite pick among the top ten selections.

Martin Straka clearly overheard the advice I gave to Chris Lamoriello, because he ended up drafting Anders Stella with the eleventh pick. The Penguins blew it this season and finished 12th in the Eastern Conference because they were slightly below average offensively.

Oddly enough, Chris Lamoriello DIDN'T take my advice. I thought we were friends. I guess now I know where we stand. His pick came exactly one spot after Straka's, where I thought for sure he would take Patrik Kolarik. But he didn't.

Instead, Kolarik dropped to the Devils in the same spot as his ranking: 16th.

With all my talk of this being a goalie-heavy draft, the first round certainly proved it to be true. The second best story of the first round was Winnipeg drafting Dustin Byfuglien's kid, goaltender, Evan Byfuglien.

I say second best story because the best story, by far, was the brilliant pick made by Washington at 24th overall. Actually, in a way, it wasn't brilliant. But that's aside from the point. Adam Nightingale and the Capitals went way off the board to select my favorite goalie in the draft. The 127th ranked player, Svatopluk Martinka.

Washington already has a pretty solid goalie in Riley Martin, but he hasn't been able to elevate his game come playoff time. With Martinka still on the board, I think they felt they had no choice but to make sure they nabbed him. The fifth best team in the Eastern Conference just became arguably the team with the most goaltending depth after the Buffalo Sabres.

Let's face it: that team is the absolute best at everything and I can't seem to put a finger on exactly why. Hehe.

Speaking of: Buffalo head coach, Anton Stralman, who I very nearly fired on several occasions despite all the success we enjoyed as a general manager-coach tandem, made a horrid selection at the thirty-slot.

I sat there stunned as he himself walked up to the podium, did not have a single word to say about my retirement, and announced Emile Freaking Da Costa as the team's first round choice.

Uh. Wat.

"We would like to thank fans of Philly for hospitality," he said with that stupid accent. Where's my thank you!? Where's the love for me!?

"With first pick, Buffalo select, Emile Da Costa, forward, Val d'Or."

All the fans in Philadelphia started cheering. They knew this was the beginning of the end of Buffalo's prospect pipeline. They knew the doors were about to start opening up.

The team is still so young, so it'll happen slowly. But nonetheless, the door is inching open for the 29 other teams to try and swoop in and take the hardware that is rightfully mine.

The NHL is my league, and the other CPU general managers are just living in it.