July 16, 2001 RAW is WAR "Live" Review (On WWE Network) - st0rmb11's Blog

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st0rmb11's Blog

July 16, 2001 RAW is WAR "Live" Review (On WWE Network)

Posted on October 14, 2014 at 03:11 PM.

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-RAW is WAR opens up with a recap of Vince giving an impassioned speech to Stone Cold about Austin needing to be the "old Stone Cold".
-They show a hilarious montage that includes Austin giving Vince presents and playing the guitar.
-RAW starts by showing Austin sitting alone in a bar, looking rather depressed.

-The actual in-arena show opens up with SO MUCH PYRO!
-This is a RAW leading into the Invasion PPV.
-We get advertisements hyping up a couple of matches later in the night. Tazz vs William Regal with Tajiri. And the main event is the Brothers of Destruction vs DDP & Rhyno.

-The opening segment of RAW is...Spike Dudley and Molly Holly professing their love for one another, only to be interrupted by Paul Heyman. Seriously? Spike & Molly in the opening segment of RAW?!
-Heyman wants Spike to join the Alliance & ECW (which, you know, would make sense..considering he Spike did get started in ECW...)
-Now the Dudley Boyz come out to protect Heyman against Spike. Did I mention that Spike has a walking boot on and is using a crutch? This should be fun...
-Bubba's got wood for Molly
-Molly powerbombed through the table. Hot damn.

-Here comes the Lugz boot of the week. Edge & Christian help Jeff Hardy win the Hardcore title on Smackdown!
-Second match is Mike Awesome (with Lance Storm) vs the 2001 King of the Ring, Edge (with Christian)
-Lance Storm has a mic and is cutting a promo. There is so little charisma between these two guys. Christian calls Mike Awesome a Reekasaurus Rex and Edge calls Mike Awesome "Mike TotallynotAwesome".
-As Edge & Awesome brawl outside, there is a guy in the crowd snapping pictures, and after each one, he has to turn the little wheel thing on the camera. I remember those days.
-Mike Awesome wins as the referee stops Edge & Christian from hitting a con-chair-to on Awesome, and Lance Storm superkicks Edge.

-Booker T is backstage with Stephanie McMahon and his WCW Championship belt and United States Championship belts. Jericho interrupts.
-We will be getting a Jericho vs Booker T match for the WCW Championship. We should've gotten that in WCW at some point. Damn you, Bischoff.

-Here's a flashback, brought to us by Corn Nutz: Corn Gone Wrong...what the **** was that? Tazz choked out Tajiri on Smackdown!
-Tajiri is backstage with William Regal. Absolutely hilarious!

-Heyman, Stephanie, & Shane choose their 5 competitors for the big match coming up at Invasion. Rhyno, the Dudley Boyz, Booker T, and DDP. Solid team.

-Now we go back to a very melancholy Stone Cold sitting at a bar, with 4 or 5 empty bottles in front of him and he's working on another. We're just 30 minutes in, Steve. Slow it down! Austin looks like a lonely drunk girl playing hard to get at a bar when Vince starts talking to him.
-J.R. tells us exactly what bar Austin is at, and how far it is from the arena. How the hell is no one there already?

-Here comes Tazz. His entrance is bad ***. Shame he looks like a marshmallow by this point in his career.
-I love this William Regal music. and this William Regal character. Tajiri is on commentary, speaking nothing but Japanese.
-Now Tajiri is in the ring. SWERVE! Tajiri has on an ECW shirt. Makes perfect sense to me. DOUBLE SWERVE! Tajiri kicked Tazz in the back and put the Tarantula on Tazz! Regal stops his beat down on Tazz to turn to the hard camera and do his little wave! Very Randy Orton pose esque.

-DDP has footage of Sara. **** this stalker angle.

-Time for Booker T vs Chris Jericho. Can't wait! But first, we flash to Austin! Tim White is the ****ing bartender?! What? And no wonder no one is there. Tim just told Austin he's closed the whole place down for Steve. Horrible business decision. That doesn't seem wise, Mr. White.

-Booker T's entrance is bad ***. Where is Chris Benoit during this Invasion story? Was this during his neck surgery time?
-Y2J with a massive pop! So over! It's this era that makes people okay with Jericho's constant coming and going in 2012-2014.
-Oh ****, both belts are on the line? I didn't hear that.
-Huge "Y2J" chants, followed by "Booker T Sucks!"

-These two guys are in the prime of their careers right now! So crisp and quick in the ring. Anyone that ever says Jericho is overrated as an in-ring performer just needs to watch some of his stuff from 1997-2001.
-And Booker T is so good and quick for his size.
-Huge Harlem Side Kick from Booker! Stiff as hell.
-What a ****ing Sidewalk Slam/Spinebuster by Booker T! Damn!
-I remember the Invasion angle, overall, being a dud because of the outcome. But in these early stages of it, things are going exactly as they should. The commentators are really putting over how much trouble WWF is in. And the Alliance has had the upper hand pretty much all night! They look strong as ****.
-Nick Patrick (a WCW ref) stopped his count for Jericho because his shoulder starting hurting him. Jericho goes for the Lionsault but misses. I have never seen him hit that move!
-Booker T is tapping out, but Nick Patrick fakes a knee injury and doesn't see it! But here comes Earl Hebner to the rescue! He knocks the crap out of Nick Patrick, and is about to ring the bell. BUT WAIT! Shane McMahon stops Earl from ringing the bell, and clotheslines Hebner. Booker T with a low blow, and Nick Patrick with the VERY fast count. Booker T retains.

-We cut backstage to Terri Runnels in very little clothing, but Perry Saturn is completely infatuated with Moppy. Wait a second - Moppy was the result of a concussion angle for Saturn?! ****ing hell! Saturn's only response to Paul Heyman was "Snausages".

-Here comes Raven. ****, he should have been so big in WWF. Imagine his promos as a heel against a face Austin or face Rock?! Not to mention his matches. Such a great story teller.
-Apparently this is Raven vs Kurt Angle. This could be amazing! Angle with a massive pop. But Raven got a big one, as well. (oh, this match is ECW rules)
-****ing air horns in the crowd...
-Huge overhead belly to belly suplex by Angle. This match is a slugfest.
-Kurt Angle looks as good as he's ever looked. Absolutel ripped! Fiery as hell! Lightning quick! He just beat the **** out of Raven! Angle Slam, Angle Lock, some submission move that I don't even know how to call! Cross Arm Breaker! So much for Raven's WWF career..
-Now Angle is beating Raven with a chair. Now he's beating the **** out of Kanyon. And Stasiak. And Justin Credible! Holy hell!!

-Austin is playing pool with Deborah. Not a great shot, Steve.

-Here come the Hardy Boyz. Matt with the European title, Jeff with the Hardcore title. Massive ovation! They will be taking on the Dudley Boyz. Bubba Ray has changed clothes since his beatdown of Spike and Molly.
-Jeff Hardy sells like Dolph Ziggler. He plays the part of a rag doll perfectly. What was he? 21 or so at this point?
-No one takes a back body drop like Jeff. It looks like a Swanton Bomb. Jeff just punched Bubba square in the dick. Matt gets the hot tag. He is on a damn roll! Jeff is flying all around the ring. RVD helps the Dudleyz pick up the win.
-I can't remember, but don't RVD & Jeff Hardy face off at Invasion for the Hardcore title in an incredible ladder match? Or maybe it's just a Hardcore match that turns into a ladder match. Either way, that match was phenomenal.

-Faarooq & Bradshaw are backstage, being pissed off at what just happened. Bradshaw with a massive cigar in his hand.

-Stephanie and Shane talking to the troops. DDP seems to be a very prominent character in this angle. **** you, WWE for not utilizing him better! Chavo Guerrero sighting.

-We need Shane McMahon back on WWE TV as part of the Authority. He is so damn good as a talker and character!
-Paul Heyman destroying right now! So damn good!
-Vince McMahon walks in to rally his troops, followed by Faarooq, Bradshaw, Kane, and Undertaker. No four men have ever looked more bad *** than those four just looked!
-K-Kwik and Essa Rios sighting.
-Undertaker says to hell with Austin! K-Kwik is the first to stand up when Undertaker yells "Who wants to fight?!". How could the WWF have ever been worried!?

-Sweet hell, here comes Freddie Blassie in a wheel chair! and he just stood up! He is rallying those bastards!! Funaki and Taka Michinoku are ready to bust ***!! X-Pac is ready to rip *** and take names!

-Lita is going to be at WWF New York on July 18th for the premiere of her "home video". Count me in!

-We get a promo for the tag team bra & panties match at Invasion. Torrie & Stacy vs Lita & Trish. I'll be watching that....
-This match is brought to us by PlayStation. Not PlayStation 2. PlayStation.
-Trish vs Terri Runnels. This match promises to be a slobber knocker!
-Trish is hitting the Cesaro Swing! and now she's dizzy. Nothing looks smooth in this match. Even their walking is a botch.
-I've never had any wrestling training (although I did do some backyard **** as a teen), but I'm 1,000% certain that I could put on a better match than those two just did. Now here come Torrie & Stacy. Stacy Keibler at her Stacy Keiblerest. So sexy.

-Here comes Lita, with a pop bigger than even Kurt Angle got. How old are all of these ladies? Lita and Trish can't be older than 25. And Stacy has to be 20 or so.

-Now it's time for the main event. DDP & Rhyno vs Kane & Undertaker. This could be good, although I seem to remember it devolving into a huge brawl rather quickly.
-No reaction for DDP? Really? **** you, Providence! No reaction for Rhyno, either?
-KEEP ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN'. Brothers of Destruction entrance is bad ***!
-Kane looks really good in this match. Just makes me hate him now, even more. I mean, granted, he is only like 30 at this point. Undertaker going Old School very quickly. Rhyno no sells!

-And here comes the Alliance. Booker T and the Dudley Boyz have come in and started beating the hell out of the Undertaker and Kane. No DQ yet...Now we get the Hardyz, APA, and Jericho. Still no DQ called! Here comes Dreamer and Storm and Stasiak and RVD and Tazz and too many people to count. STILL NO DQ!!

-Backstage, Hugh Morrus and Justin Credible are killing the Hollys.
-Austin is here! Austin is here! His music is going to set that crowd into a frenzy!!!
-Gregory Helms and Shawn Stasiak killing Edge & Christian! Austin kicks their asses!
-By gawd the pop when Austin's music hit! Austin is stunning the world! Kanyon just sold the Stunner like he was hit by a truck!! Double chokeslams by Kane and Undertaker to Chavo and someone..such elevation

-The bell never rang! No DQ was ever called! Far cry from now, when they call for DQ the second someone even enters the ring! The WWF team is in the ring now. Kane, Undertaker, Austin, Jericho, & Angle. Just wait until Austin swerves you all, WWF!!

-Stephanie & Shane head off Freddie Blassie as Brooklyn Brawler is pushing him out of the arena. Stephanie closes the show with the line "Freddie, you and the WWF have a lot in common - you're both about to die!". The look on Brawler's face! Unbelievable!