what a freaking day....

[Victor99]

Re: what a freaking day....

Good points BGarrett7. FF has made his bed, now he's gotta sleep in it. Nobody put a gun to his head and made him do what he did. He acted on his own free will. Common sense would tell anyone that there would be a backlash by his girlfriend. Had this been a random act of rage/anger it would be different, but this was a developing situation. He should have seen this coming a mile away.

[Scottdau]

Re: what a freaking day....

Good points BGarrett7. FF has made his bed, now he's gotta sleep in it. Nobody put a gun to his head and made him do what he did. He acted on his own free will. Common sense would tell anyone that there would be a backlash by his girlfriend. Had this been a random act of rage/anger it would be different, but this was a developing situation. He should have seen this coming a mile away.

Come on now! We have all done stupid things in our life! Sure what he did was wrong, but it happens. More times then you think! FF, my advice is try to work it out with her. If she doesn't want to then that sucks and you move on! You loved her once, so I am sure you can re kindle that love! The problem with most people is they base their love on feelings and not commitment! You two staying together would be great for kid! As long as you don't fight all time when you were together! Well one good thing is at least you weren't married! I know living with someone is the same thing to some people. But the truth is it is not! Being married is the biggest commitment you can make! But many people have great marriage after they reconcile. So good luck bro!

[Altimus]

Re: what a freaking day....

Sorry about your troubles FF.

But just because he cheated, doesn't give his girlfriend the right to trash his house. What kind of example does it set for their daughter? Its a hooligan act and sure wouldn't set right with the judge if he ended up going. Especially, if she made their daughter join into the trashing. I think what sent her over that edge was that you kicked her out of the apartment even though you were the one that cheated. That probably doubled her anger, and even worse you left the apartment before her! When you kick someone out, you never leave before them.

Good luck with all this FF, and hopefully you and your GF could work all this out. I would especially try since now she wants to give it another try. Nothing major has to happen between today and tomorrow, just take it step by step. Look at what went wrong and adjust. Whatever you do, don't play the blame game. Whatever you decide to do, good luck.

[CaptainZombie]

Re: what a freaking day....

First off, I'm not asking for sympathy from anyone here, I was just posting what hade happened to me, thats all. Clover, I never spoke fully about what went on, and that because I really don't want to go in full detail, but I never tucked my tail and ran anywhere, I tried doing this the civil way, and she didn't. She had a place to go and she would not let me keep my daghter, so I never through her out on the street and said fen for yourself, I would never do that, and I will take care of my daughter no matter what, I will alyways be her father and she will always be my daughter...My realationship was bad for sometime now, and she was well aware of this too....It is what it is, and Clover no offense, but your a women and I would expect that type of comment from a women, no didn't and don't know the whole story, so ofcourse you would I'm completey at fault, and thats not the case.


So for anyone who's thinks I'm looking for sympathy, just put that back in your pocket, I'm not looking for that, I was just venting.....This is life and everything isn't perfect and peple make mistakes all the time...

By the way she called me today, telling me that she's not taking me to court and I'm going to picked up my daughter today, she said that she would never keep my daughter from me, and she is made and upset thats why she wouldn't let me see my little girl, but she said that she knows it's wrong to keep her from me...She also asked if I would give this realationship a second chance, now I'm in a bind.

Football, I didn't know that you cheated on her man until I read Scott's post. I don't condone that sh*t, and I really don't know how bad things have been between you two except for the few things you told me a month ago. Like you said that people do make mistakes and we all do, so I can't judge you man like some are doing here. You have to do what is right for yourself.

If you are not happy with her, you have to let her go and quit playing house. I'm sorry to be coming down in this manner, but I've seen plenty of times where people break up in situations like this, they get back together again and in a few months all hell breaks loose once again. If this is the woman that you want to be with, then both you guys need to sit down and try to work on what you have done wrong to each other. I know you can't change someone, but you can both work with each other to better understand the problems and then tackle them head piece by piece.

You don't have to answer or you can PM me, but what in the world possessed you to cheat on her bro? I know women can drive a man nuts, but were these issues going on for a very long time?




Just remember, both you guys created that beautiful little girl that you have shown us in pics. Remember, it's about doing what makes you happy......................but also, put into perspective as to how your daughter gets affected by any decisions that are made. If you can work things out with your girlfriend than great, go for it. If not, than you have to really move on for your daughters sake.

Good luck man

[Blaxican8504]

Re: what a freaking day....

Sorry about your troubles FF.

But just because he cheated, doesn't give his girlfriend the right to trash his house. What kind of example does it set for their daughter? Its a hooligan act and sure wouldn't set right with the judge if he ended up going. Especially, if she made their daughter join into the trashing. I think what sent her over that edge was that you kicked her out of the apartment even though you were the one that cheated. That probably doubled her anger, and even worse you left the apartment before her! When you kick someone out, you never leave before them.

Good luck with all this FF, and hopefully you and your GF could work all this out. I would especially try since now she wants to give it another try. Nothing major has to happen between today and tomorrow, just take it step by step. Look at what went wrong and adjust. Whatever you do, don't play the blame game. Whatever you decide to do, good luck.

Co-sign. Good luck with all of this man.

[Victor99]

Re: what a freaking day....

Come on now! We have all done stupid things in our life! Sure what he did was wrong, but it happens. More times then you think!

Again, I'm not saying what his girlfriend did was right and justified. It was flat out cruel and immature IMO. However, I'm also saying that people need to be held accountable for their actions. FF made two big mistakes, (A)cheating on her and (B)sending her an ultimatum to get out of his home.

[funky_chicken]

Re: what a freaking day....

First off, I'm not asking for sympathy from anyone here, I was just posting what hade happened to me, thats all. Clover, I never spoke fully about what went on, and that because I really don't want to go in full detail, but I never tucked my tail and ran anywhere, I tried doing this the civil way, and she didn't. She had a place to go and she would not let me keep my daghter, so I never through her out on the street and said fen for yourself, I would never do that, and I will take care of my daughter no matter what, I will alyways be her father and she will always be my daughter...My realationship was bad for sometime now, and she was well aware of this too....It is what it is, and Clover no offense, but your a women and I would expect that type of comment from a women, no didn't and don't know the whole story, so ofcourse you would I'm completey at fault, and thats not the case.


So for anyone who's thinks I'm looking for sympathy, just put that back in your pocket, I'm not looking for that, I was just venting.....This is life and everything isn't perfect and peple make mistakes all the time...

By the way she called me today, telling me that she's not taking me to court and I'm going to picked up my daughter today, she said that she would never keep my daughter from me, and she is made and upset thats why she wouldn't let me see my little girl, but she said that she knows it's wrong to keep her from me...She also asked if I would give this realationship a second chance, now I'm in a bind.

Glad to hear that. Your relationship with your daughter is most important now. As for getting back with the ex I would agree with the person who said if it didn't work the first time probably not the best idea to get back together. Glad things are working out with the daughter thing.

[Scottdau]

Re: what a freaking day....

Again, I'm not saying what his girlfriend did was right and justified. It was flat out cruel and immature IMO. However, I'm also saying that people need to be held accountable for their actions. FF made two big mistakes, (A)cheating on her and (B)sending her an ultimatum to get out of his home.

No I am saying give the guy a break, Cheating can happen to anyone. I don't care how much you love your wife. Any one is capable of cheating on thier love one! I am not saying it is right, but it can happen to anyone of you. So remember to protect your marrige. And the ones that say they will never cheat on their wife, well they are usually ones that do. Because they think they don't have to work on that part. You have to guard your heart daily. Exspecaily if you work with the ladys. I have counsel a lot of marriages that felt that same way. So just beware and be wise.

[Scottdau]

Re: what a freaking day....

Glad to hear that. Your relationship with your daughter is most important now. As for getting back with the ex I would agree with the person who said if it didn't work the first time probably not the best idea to get back together. Glad things are working out with the daughter thing.

I disagree, but you are right about one thing. If you guys fight all the time it is best to get some help. Or just call it quits. Even though I don't believe in that. I mean you made a child together. So one time you must have love her and were going to get married!. But once you cheat on soemone it is really hard to work things out, but it can be done. I know having both parents together is very important for a child! But I wish you all the luck with what ever decision you make.

[CaptainZombie]

Re: what a freaking day....

I disagree, but you are right about one thing. If you guys fight all the time it is best to get some help. Or just call it quits. Even though I don't believe in that. I mean you made a child together. So one time you must have love her and were going to get married!. But once you cheat on soemone it is really hard to work things out, but it can be done. I know having both parents together is very important for a child! But I wish you all the luck with what ever decision you make.

I agree with Scottd, it's never too late to get some counseling or help to salvage any love you guys may have left for each other. It is always best to make things work for your daughter.

[Graphik]

Re: what a freaking day....

I agree with Scottd, it's never too late to get some counseling or help to salvage any love you guys may have left for each other. It is always best to make things work for your daughter.

I say that if you and your misses cant get along, its best to move on. It is important for your kid to have both parents but she will notice if you two dont get along and in the long run it will mess her head up just as bad as only having a single parent to watch over her. Staying together just for the sake of a child is old school, IMO. I know plenty of guys and gals who grew up in a single parent home who are fine. There are exceptions but for the most part, as long as they got someone to show them the affection and attention they need, the kid will be well off. No sense in making yourself or your girl or your entire relationship suffer.

I recently left out of my relationship with my babys mom, best thing that ever could of happened to me. I was depressed, angry and fed up all at the same time being in that relationship. We tried to make it work for our daughter but it comes a time when you gotta do you. It may be selfish but as long as you continue to be in your kids life, everything should be fine. In FF's case, he was taking care of the seed. The problem is many dead beat fathers who leave out of their kids life to never be heard from only months or years at a time.

[Scottdau]

Re: what a freaking day....

I say that if you and your misses cant get along, its best to move on. It is important for your kid to have both parents but she will notice if you two dont get along and in the long run it will mess her head up just as bad as only having a single parent to watch over her. Staying together just for the sake of a child is old school, IMO. I know plenty of guys and gals who grew up in a single parent home who are fine. There are exceptions but for the most part, as long as they got someone to show them the affection and attention they need, the kid will be well off. No sense in making yourself or your girl or your entire relationship suffer.

I recently left out of my relationship with my babys mom, best thing that ever could of happened to me. I was depressed, angry and fed up all at the same time being in that relationship. We tried to make it work for our daughter but it comes a time when you gotta do you. It may be selfish but as long as you continue to be in your kids life, everything should be fine. In FF's case, he was taking care of the seed. The problem is many dead beat fathers who leave out of their kids life to never be heard from only months or years at a time.

Yes that is true! But the risk of your kid being the one that turns out fine is to high for me! If you fight all time, then someone needs to be the adult and try to work it out with out yelling or getting pissed! People used this I don't Love her any more! And that is just crap! Love is not and should not be an emotion or feeling. It should be a comitment! I have been married for 10 years and we have gone threw so much crap. But that is because we were shelfish! Learn to give each other space and be thinking of the other person instead of you all the time! And you would be surprise how many marriage go the distance!

[Heelfan71]

Re: what a freaking day....

And that is just crap! Love is not and should not be an emotion or feeling. It should be a comitment!

Exactly. The feeling you get when you first meet goes away for everyone after some time. Some people think that they don't love the person anymore because they don't feel that.

[Scottdau]

Re: what a freaking day....

Exactly. The feeling you get when you first meet goes away for everyone after some time. Some people think that they don't love the person anymore because they don't feel that.

Yep what cracks me up more is a guy that is married will try to find a lady in the chat rooms! Because he thinks he is not in love anymore with his wife! OK, He will say she is so mean and a bitch! So he is this sweet, funny guy on the net! And the lady he is talking to is this sweet loving lady! lol. That has the same kind of marriage he has! Her husband calls her a bitch too! So they hook up, not realising that he is an *** and she is still a bitch like her husband says she is! The point is stay with what you have. You have to work on your Relationships daily. The truth is it is easier to work on your old relationship instead of starting a new one! The whole key to a good marriage is grow up and quit being selfish! That goes for both men and women!

The best advice I ever got from a marriage counselor was base your love on a commitment not a feeling! Wow, that saved my marriage! Truth is you love this person one point, so rekindle that love.

[Heelfan71]

Re: what a freaking day....

Yep what cracks me up more is a guy that is married will try to find a lady in the chat rooms! Because he thinks he is not in love anymore with his wife! OK, He will say she is so mean and a bitch! So he is this sweet, funny guy on the net! And the lady he is talking to is this sweet loving lady! lol. That has the same kind of marriage he has! Her husband calls her a bitch too! So they hook up, not realising that he is an *** and she is still a bitch like her husband says she is! The point is stay with what you have. You have to work on your Relationships daily. The truth is it is easier to work on your old relationship instead of starting a new one! The whole key to a good marriage is grow up and quit being selfish! That goes for both men and women!

The best advice I ever got from a marriage counselor was base your love on a commitment not a feeling! Wow, that saved my marriage! Truth is you love this person one point, so rekindle that love.

The grass isn't greener on the other side. they are all a pain in the *** !