Living in Sin...

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  • Scottdau
    Banned
    • Feb 2003
    • 32580

    #31
    Re: Living in Sin...

    Originally posted by KDRE_OS
    This is one classic example of why people who live together early dont get married.
    yep that is what I meant. lol that and people forget what a commitment is! They are so fast to end the marriage instead of getting help! I been married for 10 years now, we had our ups and downs lol.
    Last edited by Scottdau; 07-22-2006, 09:58 PM.

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    • Dice
      Sitting by the door
      • Jul 2002
      • 6627

      #32
      Re: Living in Sin...

      I know I'm late but I happened to stumble on this thread and wanted to chime in.

      My wife and I "Lived in Sin" for about 1 year and 9 months until we got married. I never thought I would do anything like that BUT stuff happens.

      One funny thing, we were married by a Catholic preist and when I first asked him to marry us I was afraid to tell him our living status. When my wife and I sat down with the preist and he asked us about our living status we kinda looked at each other for a second because we were heistant to tell him. BUT we had to because how can you lie in the house of God? So I said that we were living together. And once I said that I was ready for the "Living in Sin" speech. He then asked us why we were living together. We had told him for financial reasons, which was the truth. Then he said "Ok". I was kinda stunned because he didn't give us the speech BUT I did ask him later what he thought about us living together. He just simply stated that, "As long as you guys attempt to make a wrong into a right I have no problem with it."

      As for my opinon about living together before getting married I still think doesn't help. Most people live with their potenial husband/wife to see how they live and to somewhat experience what married life is about. You really don't have to live with someone to know that person. If you constantly come by there house and it's always junky then you already know that he/she is a junky person without even living with them.

      To me living with someone and being married to them are two different things. I myself felt that after my wife and I got married things changed. Not just the legal aspect BUT from some strange reason my wife and I bonded even more to a point where there is no heisitation that I would die for my wife if the situation called for it. My wife feels the same about me.
      I have more respect for a man who let's me know where he stands, even if he's wrong. Than the one who comes up like an angel and is nothing but a devil. - Malcolm X

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      • TJdaSportsGuy
        Hall Of Fame
        • Dec 2002
        • 11146

        #33
        Re: Living in Sin...

        Originally posted by ExtremeGamer
        Dated my wife for 5 years, we never moved in together, she didn't move in until the day we got married. In October we'll be married 5 years.

        ......and she STILL wishes they didn't live together...:wink:

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        • funky_chicken
          MVP
          • Jul 2002
          • 3282

          #34
          Re: Living in Sin...

          Originally posted by TJdaSportsGuy
          ......and she STILL wishes they didn't live together...:wink:
          So cold man. So cold.

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          • Meatball

            #35
            Re: Living in Sin...

            Originally posted by TJdaSportsGuy
            ......and she STILL wishes they didn't live together...:wink:
            Pow!

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            • Shaver
              Legend
              • Jul 2002
              • 10148

              #36
              Re: Living in Sin...

              When I got married (7 years ago), I had an apartment and my wife owned a Condo. We got married on the 8th of May... my lease ended on April 30th... so we lived together a week before the wedding... which was a blur anyway.

              HOWEVER!!!

              On the flip side, the girl I was dating at the time I met my wife (long story)... she and I tried living together... that lasted 18 days (longer story).
              Listen to The Remodeling Clay Podcast!

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              • dieselboy
                --------------
                • Dec 2002
                • 18040

                #37
                Re: Living in Sin...

                Originally posted by Clay_OS
                When I got married (7 years ago), I had an apartment and my wife owned a Condo. We got married on the 8th of May... my lease ended on April 30th... so we lived together a week before the wedding... which was a blur anyway.

                HOWEVER!!!

                On the flip side, the girl I was dating at the time I met my wife (long story)... she and I tried living together... that lasted 18 days (longer story).
                Fill in the blanks you bum.

                My GF and I almost got a house together for school this fall, but she got something else with a bunch of friends. Probably for the best.

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                • TJdaSportsGuy
                  Hall Of Fame
                  • Dec 2002
                  • 11146

                  #38
                  Re: Living in Sin...

                  My new wife and I (married June 17, 2006) lived together for almost two years before we actually got married.

                  Has it taken some of the luster away from being newlyweds? Maybe, but if it has, I haven't noticed it.

                  Before Aimee, I lived with another girlfriend for about a year...and I'm kind of glad I did. Had I never lived with her, I might never have realized what a bitch she truely was, and I might have wound up marrying her.

                  To each their own, I suppose. In my case, I'm 1 for 2.

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                  • Fresh Tendrils
                    Strike Hard and Fade Away
                    • Jul 2002
                    • 36131

                    #39
                    Re: Living in Sin...

                    Isn't the divorce rate higher for those who have lived together before marriage?



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                    • TJdaSportsGuy
                      Hall Of Fame
                      • Dec 2002
                      • 11146

                      #40
                      Re: Living in Sin...

                      Originally posted by Fresh Tendrils
                      Isn't the divorce rate higher for those who have lived together before marriage?
                      We'll find out....

                      Comment

                      • mercalnd
                        MVP
                        • Oct 2004
                        • 4263

                        #41
                        Re: Living in Sin...

                        Originally posted by Fresh Tendrils
                        Isn't the divorce rate higher for those who have lived together before marriage?
                        That may very well be true but IMO even if it is it's misleading. My point is people who get married before ever living together most likely do so because they're strongly religious and don't want to live in sin or want to follow their religion's teachings fully. Now correct me if Im wrong as I'm an atheist but isn't divorce also sinful? Therefore it would seem to me that the same people who don't want to sin by living together before they are married might choose not to get a divorce, even if they are unhappy in their relationship, for the same religious reasons. So for these people, it's not necessarily lasting because they are happy in their union. I certainly don't see how living together before being married might lead you to divorce down the road.

                        IMO, you should just do what feels right for you and your loved one. Whether you get married before living together, live together for a while before getting married or just live together without ever getting married, if your heart is in the right place and you are committed to your partner, things will work out. I've seen a few comments from people in this thread who seem to think you can't make a true commitment without getting married and I disagree.

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                        • Fresh Tendrils
                          Strike Hard and Fade Away
                          • Jul 2002
                          • 36131

                          #42
                          Re: Living in Sin...

                          I may be totally wrong when I say this as I'm nowhere near experienced as some of the other OS posters here, but I would think there would be a different mindset between a person who is living with his girlfriend of 5 years and a person who is married.



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                          • mercalnd
                            MVP
                            • Oct 2004
                            • 4263

                            #43
                            Re: Living in Sin...

                            Originally posted by Fresh Tendrils
                            I may be totally wrong when I say this as I'm nowhere near experienced as some of the other OS posters here, but I would think there would be a different mindset between a person who is living with his girlfriend of 5 years and a person who is married.
                            I assume you think that different mindset has to do with commitment. That's where I disagree with many posters in this thread. You do not have to be married to be committed to your girlfriend and truely intend to spend the rest of your lives together and be willing to work through rough times together. Nor does being married ensure that you are truely committed to one another. If it did, you would see little to no divorce but that's far from being the case. People can get married for the wrong reasons or without the proper mindset, just as people can live together without intending it to be a temporary thing until things start getting rough.

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                            • 23
                              yellow
                              • Sep 2002
                              • 66469

                              #44
                              Re: Living in Sin...

                              Originally posted by spectralfan
                              I assume you think that different mindset has to do with commitment. That's where I disagree with many posters in this thread. You do not have to be married to be committed to your girlfriend and truely intend to spend the rest of your lives together and be willing to work through rough times together. Nor does being married ensure that you are truely committed to one another. If it did, you would see little to no divorce but that's far from being the case. People can get married for the wrong reasons or without the proper mindset, just as people can live together without intending it to be a temporary thing until things start getting rough.

                              In other words you support living together without marrying and would rather shack up with a girl instead. We get it.

                              Comment

                              • pfunk880
                                MVP
                                • Jul 2004
                                • 4452

                                #45
                                Re: Living in Sin...

                                Originally posted by spectralfan
                                IMO, you should just do what feels right for you and your loved one.
                                Wow... imagine where we'd be if people took that approach for everything.
                                Green Bay Packers | Milwaukee Brewers | Bradley Braves | Wisconsin Badgers
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