What have I gotten myself into?!?

[cch99]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

It seems to me the issue here is that you are more worried what everyone, ie your friends, else is going to say about you when they find out you went to the prom.

At some point, you just have to not worry about it anymore. If you start dating a fat ugly woman because you like her who gives a crap if your friends give you grief.

Just let it slide off your back and they will quit.

I will say this, if my daughter was 18 and I found out she was dating a 27 year old, I don't know what I would do. That would be a tough pill to swallow. It's hard for me to imagine an 18 year old having the maturity of a grown man. Not trying to be an *** but it seems to me like the 27 year old man had some issues more so than the girl.

Also to respond to someone else paying bills and living on your own don't neccessarily make you mature. I've seen 40 year old guys that were less mature than a 20 year old girl. I think everyone is different, it's just hard to imagine an 18 year being there that's why people have an issue with it.

Last thing I have to say is that to me if you decide to go out with a younger girl you should know that she is going to want to do things that girls that age do usually. It doesn't matter if your 50, to me you should go. If she's good enough to go out with and everything else is worth it she should be good enough to take some ribbing for and to feel uncomfortable for.

Last thing I gotta say is you could be asking for trouble. Without knowing you and knowing where you are in your life you could get to the point where she starts wanting to experience all the things you already have and you may have passed that point and it could happen again and again. The prom is first. Then what about when she turns 21 and wants to go out every night. And on & on. This happened to a guy I know and now he never wants to do the things she wants to do becaause he is tired of that scene. She on the othere hand is just getting into it and they get pissed at each other all the time.

[Graphik]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

But on the real tho, i had a similiar experience like this last year. My girl was 18 and I was 21, and I ended up going to the prom and I still felt out of place. We broke up shortly after her prom, so take that for what its worth. I gotta tell you man, if u do decide to go, go because you want to, not because she wants you to.


I'm in hazel crest, but I know whnat u mean about Harvey tho. Where u plan on moving in Hyde Park? I stayed there for like 6 years, on 51st and Kenwood, then 53rd and Kimbark

I'm trying to move out there on 51st in Dorchester. I think its dorchester. I forgot the name of the apartment complex. I've been looking everywhere though. I may just stay in the South Shore area because everybody I know is over there.

[Graphik]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

[QUOTE=cch99;2944378]It seems to me the issue here is that you are more worried what everyone, ie your friends, else is going to say about you when they find out you went to the prom.

At some point, you just have to not worry about it anymore. If you start dating a fat ugly woman because you like her who gives a crap if your friends give you grief.

Just let it slide off your back and they will quit.


Excellent points man. This was my main concern at first but shortly thereafter, I did'nt care what others really thought. In fact, since i do let it slide off my back, I dont really get in flack for it anymore. From time to time, my bro and my cuz make jokes but I'm at the point now where I joke with them. I'll probably be the only guy in history to go to a HS Reunion and a HS Prom in the same year.

As for the fat ugly woman, I've already been there and being in that situation pretty much helped me get through this one. At the end of the day, as long as I'm happy or satisfied, I shouldn't give a damn what others think of my relationships......except for the wolf face chicks who you would never admit to bagging.

I will say this, if my daughter was 18 and I found out she was dating a 27 year old, I don't know what I would do. That would be a tough pill to swallow. It's hard for me to imagine an 18 year old having the maturity of a grown man. Not trying to be an *** but it seems to me like the 27 year old man had some issues more so than the girl.

Also to respond to someone else paying bills and living on your own don't neccessarily make you mature. I've seen 40 year old guys that were less mature than a 20 year old girl. I think everyone is different, it's just hard to imagine an 18 year being there that's why people have an issue with it.


The way I see it is we kinda meet halfway. Like you said everybody is diffrent so maturity levels dont really mean nothing related to age. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself the "average 27 year old alpha male" anyway. Just like I dont consider her the "average teenager". Besides, some of the guys in here who claim to be mature responsible adults probably at some time or the other neglect their kids, wives, gfs, friends or family to sit and play video games to the wee hours of the morning. Hows that for being mature.

Last thing I have to say is that to me if you decide to go out with a younger girl you should know that she is going to want to do things that girls that age do usually. It doesn't matter if your 50, to me you should go. If she's good enough to go out with and everything else is worth it she should be good enough to take some ribbing for and to feel uncomfortable for.


This is ultimately the conclusion I came to. When I approached her about the dilemma, she pretty much said the same thing. So we're in agreement about the situation.

Last thing I gotta say is you could be asking for trouble. Without knowing you and knowing where you are in your life you could get to the point where she starts wanting to experience all the things you already have and you may have passed that point and it could happen again and again. The prom is first. Then what about when she turns 21 and wants to go out every night. And on & on. This happened to a guy I know and now he never wants to do the things she wants to do becaause he is tired of that scene. She on the othere hand is just getting into it and they get pissed at each other all the time.


Yea, this is what I'm afraid of. I'm positive that when she does graduate and gets a taste of that freedom, she'll want to do those new things that I've already been through. Who knows what the future holds though so I guess all I can do is live for the moment.

[Steelerfan2k1]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

I just saw this post, and I see that is a few months old, but I wanted to add a couple things:

If I were you, I would really give some thought to not going the prom. It is a really bad idea on many levels. People have already identified the issues with her family, and I agree. You just can't expect her family to react well in any manner once they find out that not only are the two of you lying about your age, but that you also accepted her invitation to go to her prom and you are 27.

I didn't read all 26 pages of responses, but, to me, one of the main concerns for the prom is that you aren't going to have any control over is what the other kids do at the prom. If you attend the prom and/or any after party activities, if there is drinking - you are going to be at a huge risk. If teachers or, god forbid, the police show up and bust what is going on - you could be in serious trouble. I hate to say it, but it's not that hard to imagine you being one of the top stories on MSNBC.COM, especially if something bad/crazy goes down and you are identified by any authority. If you have a few hundred high school kids at a prom, you just control what is going on - in a situation where any authority is going to have a huge problem with you being there if they find out your true age.

When I was 24, I dated a girl who was 18 and a senior in high school. We were very clear about the fact that I just couldn't be a part of her regular high school life (even though we had many mutual friends her age from my neighborhood and from basketball). Me going to her prom just wasn't even an option.

And - finally - the family thing is big. In fact, I think it is bigger than you are admitting to yourself. My family has always understood/accepted that I date/am friends with people who are younger than me. They all knew about my 18 year old gf back then. The big problem with her back then is that she felt like she couldn't tell her Dad because he was old school and would never accept me, etc. So - literally everyone knew except her Dad. This was a huge issue for us, and it never went away. This and her going away to college was the end of us.

[Herbsinator]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

Graphik....any new developments?

[funky_chicken]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

I'm in South Shore right now and I'm set to move to Hyde Park in about a month. I was in Riverdale for a few months last year which is next to Harvey and that place terrified me. I hated living there. My guy recently married a chick who lived in Harvey so I was over there often. Luckily it was mostly in the day time. Like that means anything.

My dad used to be a cop in Harvey but there was too much politics involved. It was bad back then. We used to live in South Holland. Moved to Indiana in 1988 and have been here ever since.

[ChubbyBanana]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

This is the first I've read this topic, as I don't usually browse this section much.

I was involved in a relationship with a 27 year old lady when I was 18. I was out of high school though, if that makes any difference.

She was kind of a rebound chick, I met her at a festival in our towns square, we kicked it for about a month before things got too odd. It wasn't the lying to my friends about the age thing, just because we realized that we didn't have as much in common as we thought, and that things weren't going to work. I just got tired of the charade I guess.

My advice to you is to tread lightly. Sooner or later she is going to get tired of having to cover up all the lies and will eventually find a way out of the situation. Maybe that's what you should do, before you get yourself into a real pickle.

[Graphik]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

Graphik....any new developments?

Nothing new to report. We're still dating. As for the prom, she and her moms are looking from prom gowns now. Damn, those things are expensive.

I just saw this post, and I see that is a few months old, but I wanted to add a couple things:

If I were you, I would really give some thought to not going the prom. It is a really bad idea on many levels. People have already identified the issues with her family, and I agree. You just can't expect her family to react well in any manner once they find out that not only are the two of you lying about your age, but that you also accepted her invitation to go to her prom and you are 27.

I didn't read all 26 pages of responses, but, to me, one of the main concerns for the prom is that you aren't going to have any control over is what the other kids do at the prom. If you attend the prom and/or any after party activities, if there is drinking - you are going to be at a huge risk. If teachers or, god forbid, the police show up and bust what is going on - you could be in serious trouble. I hate to say it, but it's not that hard to imagine you being one of the top stories on MSNBC.COM, especially if something bad/crazy goes down and you are identified by any authority. If you have a few hundred high school kids at a prom, you just control what is going on - in a situation where any authority is going to have a huge problem with you being there if they find out your true age.

When I was 24, I dated a girl who was 18 and a senior in high school. We were very clear about the fact that I just couldn't be a part of her regular high school life (even though we had many mutual friends her age from my neighborhood and from basketball). Me going to her prom just wasn't even an option.

And - finally - the family thing is big. In fact, I think it is bigger than you are admitting to yourself. My family has always understood/accepted that I date/am friends with people who are younger than me. They all knew about my 18 year old gf back then. The big problem with her back then is that she felt like she couldn't tell her Dad because he was old school and would never accept me, etc. So - literally everyone knew except her Dad. This was a huge issue for us, and it never went away. This and her going away to college was the end of us.

I really dont know how big a deal it is. I definitely feel guilty when I spend the night at her crib and her mother leaves us alone to go out herself cause she thinks I'm young when in reality, if she knew I was 27, she probably would think twice about leaving us home alone.

I dont know, I try not to think about the age issue much. On one hand I have a feeling that everything will come out ok because her people already like me, know that I'm cool and grounded. On the other hand, since her people do like me, they'll probably be a little disappointed when they find out my age because they let her spend the night at my crib and vice versa. A trust issue could definitely arise.

Then if you throw in the details of how our relationship has been, how I've been treating her and the things I do for her and her family, I find myself not worrying about it much. Its not like she has a good christian family anyway. Her family has way more serious and deeper issues than our relationship. I'm not gonna even get into those issues.

[Graphik]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

Just wanted to update you guys on this situation.

PROM IS THIS WEEK!! And I'm not going. So now I can spare myself of endless embarressment that was sure to come from family and friends and plus you bastards. How'd I get out of it? Simple, they are checking IDs at the door before you enter. I probably wouldn't of had a problem anyway since I look so young but she, nor I wanted to chance that. She's going to use some other guy and take him. Just thought I'd give yall a heads up on that situation.

[jmood88]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

Have you told her parents how old you are?

[aholbert32]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

Just wanted to update you guys on this situation.

PROM IS THIS WEEK!! And I'm not going. So now I can spare myself of endless embarressment that was sure to come from family and friends and plus you bastards. How'd I get out of it? Simple, they are checking IDs at the door before you enter. I probably wouldn't of had a problem anyway since I look so young but she, nor I wanted to chance that. She's going to use some other guy and take him. Just thought I'd give yall a heads up on that situation.

Make sure she doesnt go to the hotel with the other guy after prom. That other guy could become the new guy.

[Graphik]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

Have you told her parents how old you are?

Meh..I insisted on her spilling the beans more than a few times but she knows her family more than I do and she says it might not sit well with some key members of her fam. Mainly her pops. She still has to depend on her folks of course so it makes sense.

[Graphik]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

Make sure she doesnt go to the hotel with the other guy after prom. That other guy could become the new guy.

Actually she wants me to meet her somewhere for an afterparty. Not sure if I wanna go but for the reason you stated above, I might be obliged to.

[gtm]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

Make sure she doesnt go to the hotel with the other guy after prom. That other guy could become the new guy.

Plus the DNA test will tell who the daddy is.

[Hassan Darkside]

Re: What have I gotten myself into?!?

Eh, the only thing that I'm kinda afraid that will happen out of this situation is that you'll keep delaying and delaying, putting off and putting off. Let's get real. This thread was started January 25st, it's been about 4 months and nothing's happened yet. I'd be afraid that her parents would find out from another source.

But I don't know. I guess if I was in your situation, I would sit down with her and her parents and clear the air. I would also bring up her opinions on her parents and try to give them a little something to think on. Just get everything off of all of yall's chests. For real, your a grown man, she's practically a grown woman and from what I've read, she's more grown than most people would expect an 18 year old to be.

This sounds like something that would go on Maury lol.

So can we get some pics now? :wink: