Anyone try online dating sites?

[Fresh Tendrils]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

You gotta look at the arms.

[seasprite]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

I've had two dates so far by meeting women online. One was good; she was very nice and pretty, but her pics do not indicate her weight.

The other was a nightmare. We went to a restaurant and she was dropping f bombs left and right where everyone in there could hear. Rude, smoked, and generally obnoxious. I will do a better job screening potential dates in the future.

The main problem has been most of the women are from too far away. Once you get over 50 miles or so, it's just too much trouble. I've had some who are quality ladies who said they would be interested if not for the distance involved. The age range I'm talking to, typically 40s, want a serious boyfriend, and a long distance relationship that will take longer to evolve is not what they're looking for.

Just keep looking man. Of course there are a few on the sites that are always on there or have been on there for a while(probably want to stay away from those anyway because there is a reason that they have been available and online for that long), but new women are on there everyday and you will eventually see someone that you are physically interested in and who will be close. When that happens, it always seems to me that a bunch that fit my category start popping up. I call this time "its raining B$#$@#" time

[longshadow11]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Thanks, seasprite. I have been somewhat discouraged with the choices, especially in my area. I've been criticized a little for focusing on looks, but I have to be attracted to her. It doesn't help my ex has an incredible figure and looks 15 years younger than her age. I got used to it and I was shocked when I started looking at women again and found them to be very normal. There's a price to pay when you're with a woman who is extremely attractive - she knew it and made life hell if she didn't get exactly what she wanted.

I'm trying to look past the physical, but like I said, I must be attracted. Also, I hit the gym every single day - is it asking too much for a woman who takes care of herself?

I've gotten around 100 messages from women wanting to meet me, and maybe 3 of those women were attractive - and all 3 live too far away. That's 100 over two months, so I'm not bragging - mainly I'm saying the women online are not attractive! And are somewhat aggressive. And I don't know what to think when women who are pushing 300 lbs. are contacting me - it makes me wonder if that's my speed now.

[seasprite]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Thanks, seasprite. I have been somewhat discouraged with the choices, especially in my area. I've been criticized a little for focusing on looks, but I have to be attracted to her. It doesn't help my ex has an incredible figure and looks 15 years younger than her age. I got used to it and I was shocked when I started looking at women again and found them to be very normal. There's a price to pay when you're with a woman who is extremely attractive - she knew it and made life hell if she didn't get exactly what she wanted.

I'm trying to look past the physical, but like I said, I must be attracted. Also, I hit the gym every single day - is it asking too much for a woman who takes care of herself?

I've gotten around 100 messages from women wanting to meet me, and maybe 3 of those women were attractive - and all 3 live too far away. That's 100 over two months, so I'm not bragging - mainly I'm saying the women online are not attractive! And are somewhat aggressive. And I don't know what to think when women who are pushing 300 lbs. are contacting me - it makes me wonder if that's my speed now.

Not necessarily your speed now...............those type of women who are not that attractive normally send just about every guy a message out of desperation. The good ones aren't normally going to contact you first, you're gonna have to do the work with those because they are hot and really don't have to. Trust me, just keep working on yourself with the gym and stuff and be patient with it. What site are you using? If its a free one, I would suggest trying out a paid site like Match for a couple of months. It will only be a small investment, but worth it IMO. Just keep searching on there, but also remember that you should be looking in the real world in your everyday encounters. Lot of single women out there and a big percentage don't even online date.

[NDAlum]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Thanks, seasprite. I have been somewhat discouraged with the choices, especially in my area. I've been criticized a little for focusing on looks, but I have to be attracted to her. It doesn't help my ex has an incredible figure and looks 15 years younger than her age. I got used to it and I was shocked when I started looking at women again and found them to be very normal. There's a price to pay when you're with a woman who is extremely attractive - she knew it and made life hell if she didn't get exactly what she wanted.

I'm trying to look past the physical, but like I said, I must be attracted. Also, I hit the gym every single day - is it asking too much for a woman who takes care of herself?

I've gotten around 100 messages from women wanting to meet me, and maybe 3 of those women were attractive - and all 3 live too far away. That's 100 over two months, so I'm not bragging - mainly I'm saying the women online are not attractive! And are somewhat aggressive. And I don't know what to think when women who are pushing 300 lbs. are contacting me - it makes me wonder if that's my speed now.

It wasn't criticism, it was an observation. You seem hung up on the physical attraction. I would probably be the same way. I am not attracted to women who are "average or slightly average" with their body type. I am only attracted to women who have the "fit" body type.

I met my wife on match...it might just be your area. Also there's the factor of age. You're looking for the small % of women who haven't had their bodies significantly altered by child birth or father time.

[longshadow11]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

I'm pretty well screwed. I had to end it with my ex; she has bi polar mental problems or something like that. Plus she's a mean spirited princess. The problem is she is drop dead gorgeous and literally has the best figure I've ever seen on a woman. I got used to that and to the fact she looks like she's in her late 20s instead of early 40s. I knew when we broke up I was going to have a hard time being happy with other women physically. Looks are certainly not everything, but I will agree I am a little hung up on it. I at least want a woman who isn't fat! I don't care about her chest size and a cute face is good enough, but I can't handle fat.

Funny thing is I saw my ex on a date with a dude who is way out of shape and no woman would ever give him a second look. I think she's having the same problem I am. In our area there aren't many singles to choose from. He's either rich or someone she can push around.

[Fresh Tendrils]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

How long have you guys been separated?

[seasprite]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

I'm pretty well screwed. I had to end it with my ex; she has bi polar mental problems or something like that. Plus she's a mean spirited princess. The problem is she is drop dead gorgeous and literally has the best figure I've ever seen on a woman. I got used to that and to the fact she looks like she's in her late 20s instead of early 40s. I knew when we broke up I was going to have a hard time being happy with other women physically. Looks are certainly not everything, but I will agree I am a little hung up on it. I at least want a woman who isn't fat! I don't care about her chest size and a cute face is good enough, but I can't handle fat.

Funny thing is I saw my ex on a date with a dude who is way out of shape and no woman would ever give him a second look. I think she's having the same problem I am. In our area there aren't many singles to choose from. He's either rich or someone she can push around.

Yeah bro, you are nowhere near close to being ready to date

[nc0ffey]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

...I don't know what to think when women who are pushing 300 lbs. are contacting me - it makes me wonder if that's my speed now.

Get on that bike and ride.


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[Mabster]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

He's either rich or someone she can push around.

Or has a big...




heart.

[CMH]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

.

Funny thing is I saw my ex on a date with a dude who is way out of shape and no woman would ever give him a second look. I think she's having the same problem I am. In our area there aren't many singles to choose from. He's either rich or someone she can push around.

I'm curious to know what made you so intolerable to her because I don't find you the least bit disrespectful of others at all.

[kehlis]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

I'm curious to know what made you so intolerable to her because I don't find you the least bit disrespectful of others at all.

Unfortunately asking for one side of the story is never the full story.

[CMH]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

Unfortunately asking for one side of the story is never the full story.

I realize I sound like an *** but if longshadow wants help with dating he needs to start with himself. I say that to be kind (yes I'm direct and I can be mean but it's with good intentions, I hope.)

Talking down about others isn't going to help him get over his ex and find a person worth fighting for.

My understanding is this is a second divorce. I mean there's the possibility both women were awful humans but there's a greater possibility he's responsible by either something he did directly or by consistently going after woman that don't mesh well with him.

It's time to consider looking outside the box even if only to find out what it is he wants.

I get the feeling he is building this ridiculous pressure to date someone as or more attractive than his ex.

[seasprite]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

I get the feeling he is building this ridiculous pressure to date someone as or more attractive than his ex.

Which is what you do as far as rebound one night stands...............not when trying to find someone you actually want to date. I am really hoping he pauses a bit and works on some things within himself before he even thinks about dating again. If not, the same thing in his relationship will more than likely repeat itself and that's not fair for him or for whomever he gets into a relationship with.

[longshadow11]

Re: Anyone try online dating sites?

1. I think we all like pretty women. To have been with a woman who is extremely attractive to seeing what is mostly available is hard. I got used to a woman who took care of herself and is very fit. It's a little difficult to go from a 9 to a 5. So don't act like you're better than me because it would be hard for any of you.

2. My first wife had a boyfriend and left me and my daughters for him. My second wife has some mental problems, started fights constantly, made my oldest feel unwelcome in my home, and was jealous of my little girl. Who among you would put up with that? And what sort of man would put a woman ahead of his kids. She had to go.

Two sides to every story? I was good to them both, especially my second. She has an autistic son and he was very hard to live with. I dealt with it and was good to him. He woke us up most nights. The one time my daughter woke us up my ex got mad about it.

Neither of my daughters want to see their ex step mother ever again. On the other hand, when my former stepsons are with their father, they call me and want to talk. They want to come over and see me, but we are waiting on divorce to be final so ex won't flip out and cause it to be worse.

3. Yes, I am a little messed up. My second wife nearly bit my finger off and used to hit me. She put me down constantly. I was told I wasn't a man. She was the last woman on the planet I needed after my first ran off with another man and left me with a huge house payment and two daughters to raise. So yes, it pissed me off to see my second wife, although we were going through a divorce, flaunting a new boyfriend around town. I don't owe him any respect at all.

4. I do want another woman and I'm just like any of you - there has to be initial attraction and the ones I've seen in my area are not attractive.

I'm a damn good man; I am good to women, but I did a poor job picking my first two. So if there is room to criticize me, then the main thing you could say is my judgement of what makes a good woman is off. I do tend to go for the super attractive ladies - something I need to work on. At least I did what was best for my daughters and ended it with my second - and it was hard - because I loved her even though she was a little crazy and a lot mean.

I understand I need time to heal. I've been alone for 8 months. I'm 48; I don't have forever. Someone in their 30s can take a few years - I don't have a few years. I'm a little afraid what my ex used to tell me on a regular basis may come true - that I am going to die alone.