Major problem....I need help

[marshallfever]

So here's the thing. I have a good friend at worked who put me in a situation i'm not sure how to deal with. He wants me to let him borrow some money, that to me isn't the issue, but the issue was what he is going to be using the money for.

His girlfriend just found out she's pregnant and they both decided to have an abortion since they can't support the child. I understand where he's coming from. He's only 18 and lives with his older brother who himself just had a child several months ago.

But i don't personally believe in abortion, and if i give him this money, that sort of puts some of that responsibility on me doesn't it? A very hard decision, he needs the money by this Friday which is pay day for us. I know he's good for it and will certainly pay me back, but i don't want to have any part of this.

Now this is going to stain our friendship isn't it?

[onlybygrace]

Re: Major problem....I need help

So here's the thing. I have a good friend at worked who put me in a situation i'm not sure how to deal with. He wants me to let him borrow some money, that to me isn't the issue, but the issue was what he is going to be using the money for.

His girlfriend just found out she's pregnant and they both decided to have an abortion since they can't support the child. I understand where he's coming from. He's only 18 and lives with his older brother who himself just had a child several months ago.

But i don't personally believe in abortion, and if i give him this money, that sort of puts some of that responsibility on me doesn't it? A very hard decision, he needs the money by this Friday which is pay day for us. I know he's good for it and will certainly pay me back, but i don't want to have any part of this.

Now this is going to stain our friendship isn't it?

Listen man...if you're convictions tell you not to do this, you had better guarandamntee that you don't do it. Its HIS problem, you will have to live with this for the rest of your life.

Problems like this are what family is for, not friends.

[onlybygrace]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Oh...and better the stain on your friendship than the stain on your concience and hands, eh?

[onlybygrace]

Re: Major problem....I need help

I was talking to my wife about this and she told me that there are public assistance programs for this sort of thing...

Your 'friend' needs to consider his options...or pay for it himself, if your so sure he's good for it.

I'm warning you friend...do the right thing here. Ya hear me???

[kehlis]

Re: Major problem....I need help

I don't see how you loaning him this money for it makes you responsible.

If you don't loan it to him, they will find it another way if that is what they want to do.

If your personal preferences really get in the way, then by all means don't do it.

But I don't see a need to feel guilty about loaning a friend money as long as you are assured at getting it back.

Just my opinion.

[Whitesox]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Oh this thread is gonna get out of hand quick.

I wouldn't feel guilty, but if you told him it goes against your personal beliefs, then he probably will understand.

[onlybygrace]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Hey...listen...everyones conscience is different. If this feels like it might be a problem for him, he needs to heed that internal alarm and avoid the issue all together.

If he see's abortion as murder, which many people do still, believe it or not--its sort of like being an accessory to a crime.

If I wanna stop looking at Penthouse or smoking weed, I would prefer to destroy them rather than pass the vice on to someone else by giving away my stash of porn or gonga.

Its too sensitive and he is being put into an awkward situation that he didn't create...he shouldn't have to risk living with reprecussions, even if they are merely the accusations of his own heart.

Don't let anyone lead you down the wrong path, dude...there are a lot of blind guides out there. Be careful who you listen to.

Thats all I'll say on this in this thread.

I wish you well...if you wanna talk to me more...PM me. I see the coming storm and I don't need the infractions or whatever...

[kehlis]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Hey...listen...everyone conscience is different. If this feels like it might be a problem for him, he needs to heed that internal alarm and avoid the issue all together.

If he see's abortion as murder, which many people do still, believe it or not--its sort of like being an acsessory to a crime.

Its to sensitive and he is being put into an awkward situation that he didn't create...he shouldn't have to risk living with reprecussions, even if they are the accusations of his own heart.

Don't let anyone lead you down the wrong path, dude...there are a lot of blind guides out there. Be careful who you listen to.

Thats all I'll say on this in this thread.

Wow. Way to jump the gun.

You already made your stance very clear on this today in the other thread.

I even said, if it really affects his personal beliefs than don't do it.

Don't know what else I could have said.


I just don't see the problem with helping out a friend. Believe it or not, not everyone has the same beliefs as you.

[onlybygrace]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Believe it or not, not everyone has the same beliefs as you.

REALLY, OMG!!! Thanks...life is now going to be SO much easier.

[kehlis]

Re: Major problem....I need help

REALLY, OMG!!! Thanks...life is now going to be SO much easier.

Glad I could help!

[CWSapp757]

Re: Major problem....I need help

It may stain your relationship, but if your friend is a true friend, it won't last long at all. He may be frustrated or disappointed that you say no, but a "friend" won't understand your stance on the situation.

And also, just like kehlis stated earlier, if he is determined to get this abortion he is going to get the money one way or the other. Go with your gut on this one.

[ProjectRipCity]

Re: Major problem....I need help

If you know he is 100% sure he is gonna pay you back do it. It's not you're doing it's his choice.

[Knight165]

Re: Major problem....I need help

You guys are too young to have to deal with this...but now is a good time to learn
First....here is how the conversation between "good friends" should go.

Friend 1. "Bro....I need some bucks...bad"
Friend 2. WRONG reply..."What for?"
.............RIGHT reply....."How much?":wink:

Lesson over.

M.K.
Knight165

[Cebby]

Re: Major problem....I need help

You guys are too young to have to deal with this...but now is a good time to learn
First....here is how the conversation between "good friends" should go.

Friend 1. "Bro....I need some bucks...bad"
Friend 2. WRONG reply..."What for?"
.............RIGHT reply....."How much?":wink:

Lesson over.

You should always ask what the money is being used for, especially with an 18 year old kid. If it was a 37 year old friend you knew all your life, it's one thing but for an 18 year old living with his brother, 500 dollars is a solid amount for an upstart drug business.

[Chaos81]

Re: Major problem....I need help

You guys are too young to have to deal with this...but now is a good time to learn
First....here is how the conversation between "good friends" should go.

Friend 1. "Bro....I need some bucks...bad"
Friend 2. WRONG reply..."What for?"
.............RIGHT reply....."How much?":wink:

Lesson over.

M.K.
Knight165

Will you be my friend?